Servants of the Force
by Wuff
Summary: Two Force sensitive boys, Anakin Skywalker and ObiWan Kenobi, were born on the same day and brought to the JediTemple. Whom will QuiGon choose as his Padawan? What will happen to the other? And what about the prophecy and the Sith? contains ObiAni slash
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **As my first fanfic ("Qui-Gon's Heirs") was – more or less – a standard AU (Qui-Gon lives, early Vader redemption etc. etc. etc.), I was looking for a new AU scenario, which has not been done so often yet, and so I came up with one where Anakin and Obi-Wan are of the same age and grow up together in the Temple. Obviously, this will change a few things, so here comes my **first warning**: If you're looking for a story where Anakin is a cheeky Padawan and Obi-Wan is his strict Jedi Master – then you're wrong here. Both of them will sometimes act out of character (compared to the movies) but I think they're still recognisable. **Second warning**: There are crazy twists and the timeline is a bit confused because I take events from Anakin's youth and mix them with people from Obi-Wan's youth… Just ask me if there's something which is unclear (but I cannot guarantee I have a good explanation, lol). **Third warning**: This story will contain slash later (Anakin/Obi-Wan). But I think, even if you don't like slash, you could read this fanfic nonetheless and just skip the slashy parts. I mean, you can still read it as an adventure/sci-fi/drama/mystery/friendship story and ignore the slash - I'll always give a warning at a beginning of a chapter if slash is ahead ;-) The rating will stay T, I don't plan to write extremely explicit sex-scenes...

I use characters and scenes from episodes one to three and also from some books (like Jedi apprentice). I only use OCs if it's absolutely necessary for the plot or the narrative point of view – like in this prologue: I could hardly have written this from Anakin's or Obi-Wan's point of view, right? ;-)

Of course I don't own Star Wars or any of its products. I don't make money with this story, etc. etc. etc.

I hope these warnings and bla bla bla didn't scare you off… And now the story, that is: the prologue begins.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

* * *

It was night on Coruscant. But the bustling city never rested. Traffic lights illuminated the huge skyscrapers, neon advertisement holograms flared up every few seconds and for the bar keepers, club owners and other – much more dubious – people in the lower levels, the day started just now. Being a multi-species world, Coruscant housed also several species which were nocturnal. So the fact that the Coruscanti suns had set did not mean there was silence, darkness and peace in the city. 

There was, however, one place on Coruscant which was very different: The Jedi Temple. Huge and majestic it loomed over the city, both imposing and calming to the spectator's eye. A foreign building in the life radiating around it. And so were its inhabitants. Many myths entwined around them. Legends. Wizards, serene warriors, grim religious from another time and place. Somehow they seemed to be above everything. Above the Coruscanti business and agitation.

Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn did not agree to that. He thought the truth was much simpler. The Jedi believed in the importance of peace and rest for both the body and the mind. The Jedi listened to their body, to their feelings and to the midi-chlorians, which incessantly and gently whispered to them about the will of the Force.

This was because the Jedi Temple was silent. The lights were turned off and thick jalousies blocked out the Coruscanti lights and noises. Above them, beneath them, around them and between them, the Force swayed peacefully, covering them all like a large, soft blanket. Everyone was asleep. Almost everyone.

Grand Jedi Master Yoda sat deep in meditation. The Force told him something (or someone) was arriving. It was coming closer and closer. It was neither good nor bad. It was the will of the Force. The will of the Force was neither good nor bad – it just _was_. But Master Yoda felt it was something important.

In another room, a young Padawan lay sleeplessly in bed. It was his first night in his new room. Xanatos – _no, Padawan deCrion_, he corrected himself, smiling happily at the dark ceiling – was still overexcited from last day's events. He had been chosen a Padawan by Qui-Gon Jinn. Smiling proudly to himself, Padawan deCrion reached out with his "tentacles" in the Force in order to sense his Master's presence in the room next door. Assured his Master was still there and this was reality and not just a pleasant dream, he turned around in his bed, wondering what the next day would bring. His first day as a Padawan. He knew he would make a good Padawan. No, the best Padawan ever. Master Qui-Gon was going to be so proud of him...

Another Jedi, Srilt Ma'Lia, custodian of the Jedi crèche, was still awake too. Srilt Ma'Lia (often called "Father Lia") was responsible for the youngest of the Jedi, the babies who were brought to the Temple from all ends of the galaxy when their Force-sensitivity was discovered by a Jedi. Srilt had been woken by a soft whimper from one of his protégés, a human boy called Obi-Wan Kenobi. Little Obi-Wan had caught a cold, probably on his way to the Temple when Master Dooku had brought him here five days ago. Srilt's ears were extra-sensitive: He jumped at the smallest noise because one crying youngling could easily wake up the whole crèche and that was something Srilt liked to avoid. Although he had six arms and could so carry several younglings at a time, it was difficult to calm all of them down. Obi-Wan's forehead felt hot. Srilt brought him some warm milk to drink. Before he had reached Obi-Wan's cot, the bottle was being pulled out of his hands by the Force and flew towards Obi-Wan's little, greedy, outstretched hands. Millimetres before Obi-Wan could grab it, the bottle turned upside down and some milk spilled on the floor. Srilt Force-caught it and handed it to Obi-Wan, who thirstily poured it down immediately.

Srilt chuckled softly. "Well, little one, you need a bit more control if you want to do something like that." Obi-Wan, however, paid more attention to his milk than to Srilt. He emptied the bottle quickly and then coughed and burped a bit. Srilt took the bottle from his hands, pulled the blanket around Obi-Wan's body and sent him calming waves through the Force. When Obi-Wan had fallen asleep again, Srilt went to bed too. But not for long. Soon he was woken up again by someone screaming. But it was distant. Probably Bruck Chun. Last night, he had simply wandered off. That was something that happened frequently. No cot with bars could help against the younglings' Force-sensitivity. Normally, the Force would warn him early enough if someone from his protégés left their bed. This time, however, he did not recognise the Force signature. The screaming got nearer. It was definitely a human baby. Already someone new again? Srilt hurried of into the direction of the screams. When he turned a corner in the dark hallways of the Temple, he saw a small shadow quickly moving down the hallway towards him. Srilt lifted up his glowstick. Its orange flicker illuminated the bent figure of Master Yaddle. She was carrying a bundle in her arms, which was screaming at the top of its lungs. Yaddle hobbled up towards him and pushed the baby into his lowest pair of arms. Srilt immediately started a cradling movement, sent calming waves through the Force and murmured soothing words. In most cases that helped. Not with this one, however. But Srilt had seen many complicated babies before. He was not so easily discouraged.

"Well, little one, what's wrong with you? Are you hungry?" The baby simply cried more loudly. Most of it sounded like "Mum". "Of course you miss your parents," Srilt gently told it. It was a normal thing. Most of the babies cried for their parents during the first days. "But you'll get over it. You'll see, it's nice here. Now I'm going to be there for you."

"Calm him, you can?" Master Yaddle asked above the screams. "Show him to the Council, I must."

Srilt frowned. That was unusual. Why would Yaddle bring a baby before the Council? "Can't it wait a little longer? I bet the journey has been exhausting to the little one. He needs a bit of rest. Why is it so important to show him to the Council?"

"Feel it, you do not? Strong the Force is in this one. Stronger than usually."

"Is it?" Srilt had not remarked something special about the baby yet. It surely had strong lungs, but right now it was difficult to sense if it was unusually strong in the Force.

"Examined his midi-chlorian account, I have. Very high it is, hmm, very high indeed. Heard about the prophecy you have?"

Srilt helplessly shook his head. There were many Jedi prophecies. Right now, his mind was too busy to calm down the crying infant in his arms, to wonder about prophecies. "Master Yaddle, what is his – you said he was a boy, right? – name?"

"Anakin Skywalker."

"Well, hello, Anakin Skywalker." Srilt held the glowstick up in order to take a closer look at Anakin. He was wrapped into a thin, dirty, grey blanket. His face was contorted because he was still screaming like mad and so Srilt could not really determine what he looked like. "I'm going to bring him to the crèche now," he told Yaddle. "Master, if there's anything important you want to discuss concerning him, I suggest you come back tomorrow. Presenting him to the Council in his current state probably wouldn't help anyone."

"Hmm." Yaddle nodded. "Come back, I will. May the Force be with you."

"And with you too."

Srilt carried Anakin along the hallways, humming soft lullabies. It did not help. Then he fed him and changed the diapers. It did not help either. When he searched the crèche for new clothes for Anakin, Anakin's high pitched cries woke up Obi-Wan too. He joined in the crying. A few moments later, the whole dormitory – that is eleven younglings – were crying in unison. To make matters worse, the whole Jedi Council decided to enter the room in that instant. Srilt hastily bowed to them while busily hurrying around the room, four younglings in his arms, trying to soothe everyone at the same time. Some of the dignified Jedi Master shrunk back from the noise. Master Yoda, however, walked unperturbedly through the room, hitting his gimer stick against the bars of a bed and telling the youngling to be quiet. Which, miraculously, even worked – though only for a little moment.

"We'd like to examine the new Jedi brought here by Master Yaddle," Master Dooku declared imperiously.

"Sure. It's the one who screams the most loudly," Srilt said and showed them towards the bed where he had just laid down little Anakin. The boy just screamed more loudly when twelve Jedi Masters gathered around his bed and stared down at him.

"Quiet you be, young one," Yoda told him gently. "Sad you are? Angry you are? Hmm, peaceful the Force is. Listen to it, you will learn. The –" Next moment, the Grand Jedi Master flew backwards in a crazy arc and smashed against another bed (making the infant who lay within scream madly, of course). Alarmed, the other eleven Masters immediately drew their lightsabers in one swift move. Yoda, however, just cackled.

"Hohoho, strong the Force is in this one." He hobbled back to Anakin's bed. Meanwhile, the other Masters relaxed and switched off their lightsabers. "Taught old Yoda an important lesson, you have. Never underestimate a youngling, I must. Never underestimate someone who looks small, I must. Hehehe. Not in the present, my mind was. Hmm. Wandered off to your future, my thoughts have. Hmm." He turned to look at the other Masters. "The Chosen One, he may be. But, for now, a little boy he is. Sleep he needs, rest he needs. Disturb him and the other younglings – and Father Lia – we should not." Srilt nodded gratefully. He was starting to worry for Anakin. His face had already turned an unhealthy colour of dark red. Yoda walked out of the room. Trying to look dignified and respectful, the other Masters followed in a row. Srilt knew most of them were either puzzled or just relieved to leave this place full of bawling infants. To Srilt, however, there was no better place in the galaxy – no matter how much the infants screamed. He had started as a Jedi Knight who went on missions too. But then he had lost his Padawan in a battle. She had been only fifteen. It sometimes happened that Padawans lost their Masters. But rarely a Master lost his Padawan. Because a Master was meant to protect his Padawan with his life. Srilt had failed in doing so. It was then that he had sworn to never go on a battlefield again. Afterwards, he had worked as a healer for a few months. But there he had seen many more wounded Padawans and Masters. Too many. Too many battle injuries, too much blood, too many tears. There had been some for whom any help had been too late. Srilt had been forced to helplessly watch them die. And that's how he had ended up here, in the crèche. Every day, he thanked the Force for bringing him here. He never complained about being woken up at obnoxious times at night, he did not mind changing stinking diapers, he had no problems with cleaning up the mess the infants created while eating or even their puke. There were of course other things he preferred: feeding them, playing with them, singing them lullabies...

With two younglings in his arms, Srilt went into the little kitchen in order to make some warm milk, honey-tea, sprinkling saltwater, bamboo beer or dactyl – he knew each of his protégé's favourite. Mixing all the different drinks took some time of course but Srilt had perfected the task over the years. Anakin was human – so it was one more bottle of milk... Suddenly, Srilt stopped in his task. Something was wrong. Frowning very hard, he tried to decipher what it was. The Force was perfectly calm... wait, _calm_??!!

He went into the dormitory. Miraculously, everyone had calmed down. Some were still whimpering softly but most of them were babbling happily: "Mum", "milk", "Lia", "Force", "honey", Yoda", "baboobeer", "Daddy" or each other's names. Bruck Chun was doing a new attempt to escape his bed: He whirled above the bars, landed on the floor and bounced up and down like a bouncy rubber ball, giggled madly and crawled off. Chuckling to himself, Srilt grabbed him with one free arm and put him back to bed. "If you go on like that, I'll have to bind you to your bed", he told the little boy. Bruck just stared innocently at him and kept on giggling. Srilt checked on Anakin next – and two pairs of blue eyes stared back at him. Obviously, Obi-Wan had crawled into Anakin's bed while Srilt had made them something to drink. It was a cute sight of course, but Srilt did not like it if the younglings decided to huddle together in one bed. Because – normally – it meant just one of them was going to sleep under the blanket and the other was most likely to get a cold. In addition to that, Obi-Wan _was_ already ill.

"Sorry, you two," Srilt said apologetically, "but you can't sleep in one bed. Obi-Wan is ill and if you stay so close together, he's going to infect you, Anakin." With that, he lifted Obi-Wan out of Anakin's bed. The two boys started protesting at once and the rest of the dormitory chorused in their screaming. As Srilt had expected Anakin's Force-push, he was able to block it. Still, he was impressed of the little boy's strength. He had never seen someone his age who had such powers. Anakin's powers, however, did not stop him from screaming as if his life was being threatened. _Oh dear, he is a difficult one_. Unexpectedly, Obi-Wan, who was still on Srilt's arm, bit with his two tiny, little teeth into Srilt's arm. "Hey, that's not a nice thing to do," Srilt chastised the squirming boy. Until now, Obi-Wan had not been one of the difficult ones. A little whiny sometimes and then he had had that cold, but not _complicated_.

Srilt was said to be a very patient man. Tonight, however, when he had fed all the infants with their favourite drinks, had sung all the lullabies he knew and had carried all of them around the room again and again, and they _still_ did not stop screaming, he gave up.

"Alright, alright," he grumbled and put Obi-Wan into Anakin's bed again, enwrapping ill Obi-Wan carefully in his own blanket. Anakin grasped Obi-Wan's arm very tightly and, for a moment, Srilt feared he might broke Obi-Wan's arm with his uncontrolled Force abilities. When Obi-Wan, however, did not complain, Srilt was relieved and let them be. Half an hour later, the whole dormitory had calmed down again and Srilt was even more relieved. Tiredly, he worked a circuit again, assuring each youngling was well. This was why he liked his job so much. Having hard days but seeing them sleep peacefully, some chewing on their tentacles, others mumbling in their sleep, some snuffling and some emitting little clouds of steam out of their nostrils. Srilt stopped at the bed in which Anakin and Obi-Wan slept. Anakin still clung tightly to Obi-Wan's arm while Obi-Wan had pulled half of Anakin's blanket around himself. Sighing, Srilt put Anakin back under the blanket. It was too late to separate them now. The two had already bonded. It was unusual for babies to bond at such an early age. But then again – Anakin definitely was an unusual boy with unusual abilities. Srilt wondered what the Jedi Masters had been so excited about. What was it that Master Yoda had said? Something about the Chosen One, yes, and Yaddle had talked about a prophecy. Srilt had put his priorities in other domains than Force philosophy. After all, when spending time with Force-sensitive babies from all different species, nothing could really surprise you anymore. And still, somehow they managed to surprise him every day anew. Srilt thought they all were special – whether Chosen One or not. Each and every one of them was very, very special.

* * *

**AN: **Posting a first chapter always makes me nervous and excited – so please leave a little review and tell me what you thought about it :D 


	2. The Early Years in the Temple

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone for reviewing!You really encouraged me to go on with this story :D

Soul of a Young Man: Thanks a lot for your help! I will pay attention to the commas from now on - I didn't know that rule. I _did_ know that a prologue comes at the beginning of a story. The words epilogue and prologue exist in German too. Oh dear, I'll slap myself very hard for such a stupid mistake :D

Phoenix Red Lion: Thank you so much for your lovely review. This fanfic will have angsty parts too but not as angsty as Qui-Gon's Heirs ;-)

kyer: I guess if I answer your question it will not give away too much of the plot... After all, I don't want you to have a bad impression of baby Anakin :-) He didn't force Obi-Wan into anthing. Obi-Wan just felt Anakin's distress in the Force and he realised Anakin did not cry because he was hungry or could not sleep but because he was sad and lonely. And so, being the compassionate baby he is, Obi-Wan decided to comfort Anakin. And Obi-Wan felt a bit lonely too. I guess it's quite traumatic for the babies if they're separated from their parents at such an early age.

arzum: Thanks a lot! I hope you like this chapter as well.

phantom-jedi 1 and Geddron: Thanks a lot to both of you. Don't worry, _if_ there's slash later, I'll warn you in time. At the moment I'm figuring out a non-slash-plot and I think it should work...

Jedi Knight 13: It's good to know you read - and like - this too. I really enjoyed writing baby Anakin and Obi-Wan... I just couldn't resist :D

* * *

When they were both four years, two months and eleven days old, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi became archenemies. Little Anakin liked mechanical classes a lot. He was one of the best students in his class. And he liked to dismantle everything. Obi-Wan's favourite cuddly toy, an orange dragon called Dragon, met this fate. Anakin was just too curious to see what was inside the dragon. So, using scalpels and vibro spanners, he worked his way through cuddly fabric, wool and synthetic material. Anakin was a bit disappointed there were no screws and switches inside. That was why he checked under the dragon's eyes, skilfully removing the two shining black buttons.

It was an accident, everyone confirmed later. Anakin had not done it on purpose in order to hurt Obi-Wan. But little Obi-Wan's heart was broken. He cried in front of Dragon's remains for hours and not even Master Yoda, who bought him a new dragon the same colour and the same size as his old one, could soothe him. Because the new cuddly toy was not Dragon. It did not smell like Dragon and it did not have the stain on his right hind leg. No, Obi-Wan could not be fooled that easily. So he took revenge. The following night, he sneaked into Anakin's sleeping quarters and chopped off his braid. Naturally, Anakin was _very_ angry when he awoke the next morning and found his braid missing. That was when things started getting out of hand.

Anakin desperately wanted to cut off Obi-Wan's braid too. He tried to do so every meditation session when Obi-Wan was supposed to be relaxed and have his eyes shut. Master Yoda was getting annoyed because his younglings did not focus on the Force anymore but were just anxious to a) cut off Obi-Wan's braid (Anakin), b) prevent Anakin from cutting off his braid (Obi-Wan) or c) see whether Anakin succeeded in his plan (the rest of the Bear Clan). It was futile to explain to a four-year-old who had lost his favourite cuddly toy or his braid that revenge was not the way of the Jedi. It also did not help to point out to them that a Jedi should not have possession and that a Jedi must learn to let go of the things he feared to lose. It was something four-year-olds did not understand yet. So Master Yoda was forced to separate them. Obi-Wan was sent off into the Wookie Clan and Anakin stayed in the Bear Clan. After a few days, things settled back to normal. But there was some rivalry between the Wookie Clan and the Bear Clan. But then again, there had almost always been rivalry between the different groups as everyone wanted to prove they were the better group. There was no reason to worry.

Master Windu, however, did not see things as lightly as that. He _was_ worried. That in itself did not say much, actually. Mace Windu was practically always worried. His friend Qui-Gon... Mace frowned. He did not like to refer to him as "his friend" because the term "friend" sounded too much like attachment... His fellow Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn had once pointed out to Mace that the fact that he worried so much just showed how deeply he cared for everyone and that he had such a big heart. Mace disapprovingly shook his head while he was pacing up and down his quarters. Qui-Gon was an optimist by nature, convinced to see good will in everyone's actions. Mace Windu was a pessimist, who saw the dark side lurking everywhere, even in himself. He had just talked to Master Yoda about their troublemakers Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. Mace was very worried because both of them had shown the will to take revenge. Without thinking about the consequences, they had wanted to hurt each other. What was most worrying about the whole affair was the fact that Anakin Skywalker was presumably the Chosen One who was to bring balance to the Force. How could someone bring balance to the Force if he could not even control his own dark nature? Yoda was sure both of them would eventually learn control when they were old enough. Mace doubted that. It was a dangerous sign if children of such a young age already showed hints of the dark side like revenge and uncontrolled anger. Mace stopped in his pacing. He realised his mind had wandered off too far into the future. A Jedi always needed to be in the present, they needed to live in the Here and Now. It was a trait Qui-Gon had perfected. Mace, however, was not so sure if it was a good thing. Qui-Gon had got himself into trouble too often because of his recklessness and had had too many nearly death encounters. Every time Qui-Gon was going to be sent off on a mission, Mace gave him a long talk in front of the whole Council, enumerating all Qui-Gon's previous mistakes and failures and telling him to behave better in the future. Mace definitely worried a lot about Qui-Gon.

* * *

_Six years later..._

The Combat Training Chamber was filled with fierce battle cries and wild laughter. The Jedi apprentices did their warme-up. Master Adi Gallia, who taught this class of students from the age of nine to twelve, had not arrived yet.

"Yield, you unworthy space pirate scum!" nine-year-old Bant Eerin screamed in an admittedly not very threatening voice at Siri Tachi.

Siri, who had Bant's trainings lightsaber at her throat, lifted her chin up defiantly. "_Never,_" she declared proudly, ducked Bant's lightsaber and slashed at the Mon Calamari's legs. Bant staggered backwards and bumped into Bruck Chun.

"Hah!" Anakin Skywalker, who had been fighting Bruck Chun, quickly stood over the other boy and pretended to give him the final blow. "This is your end!" Bruck clutched at his heart and did a death performance with lots of painful groans. "I am Master Dooku, Master of swordsmanship, and no one stands a chance against me!" Anakin cried triumphantly and whirled through the room, doing a rather inadequate imitation of Dooku's distinguished fighting style.

"You forgot me," Obi-Wan Kenobi panted, running up towards Anakin and slashing his training lightsaber against Anakin's. "I am Master Windu, Master of Vaapad, and that's the deadliest form ever!" Obi-Wan wildly swirled his lightsaber through the air, getting no closer to Windu's Vaapad than Anakin to Dooku's fighting technique.

"Master Yoda I am," Garen Muln said, "older, wiser and stronger than all of you together I am!"

"We'll see!" Anakin said, and several Jedi students lunged forward in order to fight Garen together. Garen saved himself with a somersault backwards, which was meant to look like Yoda's technique. Unfortunately, Garen did not land very gracefully on the ground. "Ouch... Stupid I am." Everyone laughed. Garen may not be a good swordsman but he was always fun.

"Got you!" Obi-Wan stormed towards Garen but somehow he had been too fast and so he tripped over Garen's legs and landed headfirst on the floor, making everyone laugh more loudly.

"Great stunt, Oafy-Wan!" Bruck Chun teased Obi-Wan and used the Force to call Obi-Wan's lightsaber, which he had lost during the fall, in his hand. "You want it back?" With that, Bruck tossed the lightsaber to the other side of the room. Obi-Wan ran for it but Anakin was faster.

"Come, come, Oafy-Wan, here is your lightsaber, come and get it," Anakin said as if he was talking to a dog.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "You're so childish, Anakin."

"Ooooh." Anakin smirked and threw the lightsaber back to Bruck, who caught it. "And you're sooo grown-up, aren't you?"

Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and stopped chasing his lightsaber. They would eventually give it back to him. But then, when Bruck threw the lightsaber back towards Anakin, Garen stopped the lightsaber with the Force and it landed clattering on the floor. Seeing his chance, Obi-Wan dashed forward. Suddenly there was a foot in his way and he tripped again. His palms touched the floor painfully. Cursing under his breath, Obi-Wan turned around and saw Siri sneering down at him.

"Man, you're so clumsy, Oafy-Wan," she said and used the Force to pick up his lightsaber.

Obi-Wan hated that. He hated his own clumsiness and he hated them calling him 'Oafy-Wan'. _They_ were the former Bear Clan – mostly Bruck, Anakin and Siri. Fortunately, Master Gallia entered the Combat Chambers that moment. She clapped three times and silence settled immediately. Siri tossed Obi-Wan's lightsaber to the ground and moved in the circle of students, who had gathered around Master Gallia. Angrily, Obi-Wan picked up his lightsaber in his burning palm and joined the other students too.

Master Gallia divided them into pairs. As always, Obi-Wan was teamed up with Anakin. Anakin was by far the best swordsman their age. Obi-Wan was the second best but he did not stand a chance against Anakin. Still, Adi Gallia would _always_ choose him as Anakin's sparring partner. Once, she had explained to him why. "You know Anakin is the best fighter. The others are no match for him. They would get so depressed and would start doubting their own abilities if he routed them completely. I know you're a good fighter too, Obi-Wan, that's why I want you to spar with him." Of course, Obi-Wan had been a bit flattered but that compliment did not help him when he lost again and again to Anakin, when he had to bow to him and when they would call him 'Oafy-Wan' again. No one asked if _Obi-Wan_ got depressed and doubted his own abilities when he hopelessly lost against Anakin every day. He _was_ depressed. It was getting more and more frustrating each day. Sullenly, Obi-Wan walked over to Anakin.

"At first, I want you to show me the katas I taught you last week," Master Gallia instructed them. "I hope you have practised well."

Obi-Wan had practised a lot and yesterday he had been sure he did the kata really well. But next to Anakin he felt clumsier than ever. With a mix of envy and admiration, Obi-Wan watched Anakin perform the kata gracefully and effortlessly as if it was the most natural thing in the galaxy; spinning, slashing and parrying in a perfect flow with the Force.

Master Gallia watched Anakin approvingly. "Well done. Now it's your turn, Obi-Wan."

Trying to get the images of perfect-swordsman-Anakin-Skywalker out of his head, Obi-Wan focussed on the Force. He tried to remember how he had done it yesterday, how it had seemed so easy then. He managed to do the correct movements but he lacked the necessary grace and balance.

Master Gallia nodded curtly. "That was okay so far. But try to do it more fluently. It's like you're still doing several different movements but it is meant to be only one movement. Anakin, show him that once again, okay?"

"Yes, Master," Anakin replied politely and started the kata anew. Master Gallia walked over to the next pair.

It was always the same: _Anakin, show him once again... Anakin, help him with that... Obi-Wan, try to do it like Anakin..._ Most of the times, Anakin did not really show off or gloat because of that. Most of the times. And still, being helped by Anakin was the most humiliating thing for Obi-Wan. As always, he just watched Anakin do it again, then Obi-Wan tried it again, then Anakin explained a few things again and Obi-Wan listened silently, his face an impassive mask. Sometimes Anakin's tips helped him, sometimes they did not. He was always relieved when Master Gallia clapped again and told them it was time for a little duel before class was over.

Anakin and Obi-Wan bowed to each other and then held their lightsabers ready above their head waiting for the signal to start.

"Go."

Obi-Wan attacked quickly and ferociously. He knew it did not help him if he attacked without thinking but he wanted it to be over soon. He had often enough fought until utter exhaustion, just to end up tripping over his own feet and lying, panting heavily, on the floor while Anakin, smiling and breathing evenly, had his lightsaber on Obi-Wan's throat. Now Anakin easily blocked his attack, and with a few flawless strikes and blows, he was behind Obi-Wan's back and his lightsaber hummed close to Obi-Wan's neck. Obi-Wan had beaten his own record. Never before had he lost so quickly. He slightly inclined his head towards Anakin and muttered a "Congratulations".

Anakin bowed too and replied in the ritual way, "You fought well".

Obi-Wan snorted. "Rather horribly", he muttered to himself.

Anakin, however, had heard it and laughed. "Well, you have been better than today, I guess," he commented good-naturedly. "You shouldn't have attacked so quickly right at the beginning."

Obi-Wan just nodded grimly. Anakin lecturing him was the possibly worst thing ever. He quickly went into the changing room. He and Anakin were the only ones here. Everyone else was still duelling. Obi-Wan changed at speed of light and hurriedly left the room, murmuring a quick "Bye".

"See you later," Anakin replied.

Obi-Wan headed for the Room of a Thousand Fountains. He always went there after lightsaber training. There he could meditate and find peace. There he could be what he could never be when he fought against Anakin: Be one with the Force. Obi-Wan sat down on his favourite place, a mossy stone next to a little pond with lots of tiny toads in it. He loved water. When Obi-Wan pictured the Force, he always imagined it would look like a clear lake where every sentient being and every event left a ripple like a water strider. The idea of going swimming in the cool water after his meditation seemed promising. Maybe Bant would join him – once she had finished her duel. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and slowly ridded his mind of every conscious thought. His muscles relaxed and the Force flooded freely through his body.

"Hey, Obi-Wan! Hey!"

Obi-Wan jumped up as if he had been touched by an Electro-Jabber. Anakin was running towards him, all excited. Annoyed, Obi-Wan rubbed his head, which was buzzing because of being so abruptly jerked out of meditation. "Anakin!" he barked. "I was _meditating_."

"Master Windu and Master Dooku are duelling!" Anakin said enthusiastically. "You're coming, or what?"

"Of course!" Obi-Wan got on his feet, his buzzing head and all animosity and resentment towards Anakin forgotten. "Where?"

"In the Temple Gardens. Quick!" Anakin stormed off and Obi-Wan followed him. They skidded through the Temple halls, dodging Master, who sent them disapproving glances because of their un-jedi-like behaviour.

"Over there." Anakin pointed to a cliff where already some other students had gathered. They waved enthusiastically down at them and gestured for them to climb up too. Anakin and Obi-Wan used the ropes from their utility belts and scrambled up the rock. From the top, they had a perfect view over the two duelling Masters. Obi-Wan lay down flat on his stomach next to Garen and stared down in awe. The sun was already low and the tall, majestic trees cast long shadows. Master Windu and Master Dooku skilfully used their surroundings, leaped above stones, used the trees as shields and tried to get each other's lightsaber into contact with the little river so that it would extinguish. The blades moved so quickly they were only a blur of blue and violet and sometimes it was difficult to follow their movements with the eyes and recognise who was who.

"Gee, they're so bloody amazing," Anakin, who lay next to Obi-Wan, muttered in complete awe.

Obi-Wan simply nodded – without taking his eyes off the two fighting Jedi for a moment.

"Any more bets on who's gonna win?" Bruck asked them.

"Master Dooku," Anakin said immediately.

"Master Windu," Obi-Wan said just as convinced.

"Okay, that makes the odds... six to three in favour of Master Windu," Garen announced.

"Master Dooku is gonna win, definitely," Anakin muttered distractedly. "You see his technique? That's so..._wow_. No one has such a fighting style like Dooku."

"But Master Windu is younger and his condition is better," Obi-Wan argued. "If the fight is going to last longer, he will definitely win."

"Just look how Master Dooku moves! He's so damn great! It looks so... elegant."

"Yes, but just because he's looking all impressive doesn't mean he's the better fighter," Obi-Wan contradicted Anakin. "Master Windu is just more...economically. He fights so cleverly and it seems like Master Dooku's blows do not bother him at all. He –"

The apprentices collectively held their breath when the two Jedi Masters both somersaulted – slashing and parrying each other's blows in midair. When they landed on their feet again, each on either side of the river, the apprentices disbelievingly tried to find words for what they had just witnessed.

"How did they do that???" Garen asked incredulously.

"Whoa, that was sooo..." Bruck muttered.

"Well, alright, that _was_ impressive", Obi-Wan admitted.

"Yeah...," Anakin and Siri said in unison.

The sun had set now and it was difficult to recognise the two fast-moving shadows. The fight had already lasted almost an hour and they still did not show any sign of exhaustion yet.

"It's dark, we ought to be back in our sleeping quarters by now," Bruck said regretfully.

"Yes, we'd better go back or we're going to be in trouble tomorrow," Siri agreed sadly.

Everyone sighed and got on their feet again except for Obi-Wan and Anakin.

"Are you coming?" Garen asked them.

Anakin and Obi-Wan looked at each other and shook their head simultaneously. "No," Obi-Wan said, "you never know when you get the chance to see them duel again."

"Yeah," Anakin agreed, "I bet one of them is sent on a mission again very soon and then we'll have to wait for another year if we want to see them again."

Some of the other students hesitated but in the end they all decided to leave. Obi-Wan and Anakin watched the fight continue in awe-struck silence. Meanwhile, down in the "fighting arena" it was completely dark. All that could be seen now were the two glowing lightsabers, which danced through the shadows, coming in and out of view behind the trees. The lightsabers bathed their immediate surroundings in a dreamlike, surreal glow. It looked as if the flickering trees were twisting or moving. Anakin and Obi-Wan absorbed every movement like a dry sponge, trying to learn just by watching their heroes.

"I don't understand how they can fight like that on such uneven terrain," Obi-Wan whispered.

"They just can control _everything,_" Anakin whispered back. "Stars End, I guess I would have run into a tree after five minutes."

"I bet I would have tripped over a stone after _one_ minute," Obi-Wan admitted freely. They both giggled softly.

"You know, one day I'll be as good as they are," Anakin said dreamily. "I'll have my own very special lightsaber and I'll have my own fighting technique and I'll be a swordsman as great as they."

Obi-Wan did not doubt that for a second.

Suddenly, the two Jedi below stopped their duel. They did not say a word but just stopped simultaneously in their movements and deactivated their lightsabers at precisely the same time.

"It has been an honour, my friend," Master Dooku's deep, booming voice could be heard.

"The pleasure was mine," Master Windu replied just as politely.

Then their steps and voices got off.

"No one won – they just stopped," Anakin said, undecided whether he should be disappointed or thrilled.

"They probably would have to continue the whole night until someone would gain the upper hand," Obi-Wan said. He was definitely thrilled.

"Yeah, I guess they're just too good to make mistakes," Anakin said thoughtfully.

Then the two of them climbed down the cliff and sneaked back into the Temple. The lights had already been turned low and the corridors were empty. In hushed voices, they continued to discuss the duel in every detail. Unfortunately, they ran into a Master just before they had reached their rooms.

"Hey, stop!"

Guiltily, they turned around and faced Qui-Gon Jinn. He looked very angry. "And who are you two?" he demanded to know.

"Um, Anakin Skywalker."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," Obi-Wan answered subdued. Qui-Gon Jinn was a very tall and intimidating Jedi-Knight.

"You know you have to be in your rooms after sunset, don't you?" Master Jinn asked strictly.

They nodded dutifully.

"Well? Do you have an excuse for your behaviour?"

Jedi were not allowed to lie and so, bit by bit, they told the truth.

"Well, we were...," Anakin started helplessly.

"Practising lightsaber combat," Obi-Wan finished his sentence.

"Lightsaber combat," Master Jinn repeated doubtfully and held a glowstick up in order to examine them. "You don't look as if you are very conscientious with your training. You aren't sweaty at all."

They sheepishly blinked in the glowstick's light.

"Um, we weren't exactly..." Anakin trailed off, looking nervously up at Master Jinn.

"We're sorry, Master Jinn," Obi-Wan said simply. "We were outside because we, um, watched a lightsaber duel between Master Dooku and Master Windu."

"Aha. And you call that _lightsaber practice_?" Master Jinn said severely.

"Um, yes. Learning by watching, you know?" Anakin suggested timidly.

"Yeah, it helps us a lot if we watch them spar," Obi-Wan followed Anakin's line of argumentation. "They're so good and we get ideas on how to improve our technique if we watch them."

"That is a very praiseworthy thing to do, of course. But not at this time of night." Master Jinn held the glowstick up again and illuminated their faces. "How old are you?" He looked at Anakin, frowning. "You can't be older than eight."

"I'm almost eleven," Anakin said defiantly.

"And how old are you?" Master Jinn addressed Obi-Wan.

"I'm almost eleven too."

"I have my doubts about that," Master Jinn said sourly. "Your braid is much shorter," he told Anakin, "you cannot be eleven if Obi-Wan is eleven too."

"We're both _almost_ eleven," Obi-Wan corrected him. "We were born on the same day."

"Listen, boys, I don't feel like listening to your lies any longer," Master Jinn said impatiently.

"But it's not a lie!" Anakin said outraged. "I lost my braid when I was four and that's why everyone thinks I'm younger. It was an accident! And we _were_ born on the same day, you can check it in the archives!"

"Oh yes, I'm definitely going to do that. And if you're right and both of you are _almost eleven_ – which means you're _ten_, by the way – you're still not allowed to stay out so late at night. So it's detention for you, let's say refectory duty for one week. If I find out you've lied to me, it's archives duty for _two _weeks. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Master," they answered in unison.

"Alright, then go to bed now. May the Force be with you."

They bowed, replied the greeting and quickly hurried off.

"Man, I didn't know that Qui-Gon Jinn's such a spoilsport," Obi-Wan complained once they were out of earshot.

"Yeah, I always thought he was okay, too. Maybe he's just still peeved because of his Padawan," Anakin said thoughtfully.

"Why, what happened to his Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked curiously.

"I'm not sure but I heard rumours he had turned to the dark side and died."

"He turned to the dark side? Oh, I didn't know that," Obi-Wan said, suddenly feeling sympathy for the strict Jedi Knight. Maybe Obi-Wan had learned a lesson today that he should not judge people so quickly. "Who was his Padawan? And when did it happen?"

"He was called Xanatos De...thingy. It happened one year ago, I think."

"One year ago?" Obi-Wan repeated incredulously. "And he still hasn't managed to let go, and is taking it out on us instead?"

"Yes, I've heard some on the Council aren't happy with him at all. Personally, I think they should throw him out. I mean, he obviously had an attachment to his Padawan and if he can't let go, it could lead him to the dark side."

"That's just so _unfair_. They always teach us we must learn to let go and Master Jinn can just disobey the rules. Just because he's already a Jedi Knight, they pretend they don't see he's a bad Jedi. But we are punished just because we're out late at night!!!"

They agreed that, indeed, Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi Council and life in general were very unfair to them.


	3. Stunning Discoveries

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Jedi Knight 13: So you liked the dueling Master Dooku and Windu? That's great! I think the two of them are the coolest Jedi ever ;-)

Phoenix Red Lion: You are right: although much comes easy to Anakin, that doesn't mean he actually has an easier life. Well, you'll see more of it in this chapter... The last chapter was meant to show that their relationship was quite ambivalent - this means, on the one hand, they can have fun spending time with each other, but on the other, they're rivals. And sometimes they're more akin than they think ;-)

Doggie 3388: Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter as well!

Soul of a Young Man: Ah yes, what will Qui-Gon do? You can never know with him, maybe he's going to train Bruck, hmm? ;-)

arzum: It's good to know that you think their characters are still recognisable. A was a bit unsure about that because it was a difficult decision: How much would they change if they had grown up in a different way, and which character traits would still be the same?

* * *

Anakin Skywalker liked flying a lot. Today, however, everything went wrong. All the warning lights of the little spaceship which he, Bruck Chun and Obi-Wan Kenobi navigated were blinking non-stop. The alarm was going mad, signalling every possible state of emergency at once.

"Switch over to complete manual navigation!" Anakin shouted above the noise. "We need to do everything manually if we want to survive. Bruck!" he snapped at his friend, "You need to brake too - we're getting out of flight path! We're flying full force into that asteroid!"

"What? What? What?" Bruck asked confusedly.

"Stars End!" Anakin cursed. "How can you be so dumb! Obi-Wan, stop braking, turn to the left or else we're gonna -"

At that moment, every light in the cockpit flickered out, the alarm stopped, the on-board computer shut itself down and everything went dark.

"Too late," Anakin could hear Obi-Wan's voice next to him in the dark. "We're dead again," Obi-Wan commented dryly. "That's the fourth time today we're dead and the third time we crashed into an asteroid."

"Great!" Anakin slumped back in his seat. "That was even worse than last time! What, in the name of the Force, is wrong with you, Bruck? It's obvious we need to brake when we're flying full speed towards an asteroid, right?"

"I thought you wanted to dodge it," Bruck defended himself but he did not even sound convinced himself.

"Yes, of course I wanted to dodge it, what did you think? That I just wanted to stop in space and make a little picnic? Man, you can't dodge an asteroid at full speed if you're already so close. Honestly, you know that! Just what is wrong with you?"

"Have you ever wondered where you come from?" Bruck asked unexpectedly.

"Huh?" Anakin unstrapped. "What's that got to do with it?"

"I found out. My father is treasurer on Telos," Bruck stated proudly. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan gasped. "It's unbelievable, isn't it? I mean, he's the mightiest man on Telos. And, just imagine, if I hadn't become a Jedi and if I had stayed with him, one day, I would have become treasurer too."

"I don't think so," Obi-Wan said matter-of-factly. "Usually a president, a governor or a chancellor or a king elects their treasurer. You don't become a treasurer just because you're the treasurer's son. Such a system where you get your status just because of your heritage is pretty outdated today. Besides, a treasurer is certainly not the mightiest man of a planet."

Anakin rolled his eyes. Of course - Obi-Wan was always the best in intergalactic politics studies. To Anakin (and most of the other Jedi students shared his opinion) it was the most boring subject ever. "Even if you didn't become treasurer yourself, you'd still live a great life," Anakin said. "Treasurers are rich, normally, aren't they? I bet you could get all you ever asked for. Maybe even your own space shuttle."

"How did you find out about your parents, anyway?" Obi-Wan asked curiously. "I mean, they don't want us to find out about where we come from..."

"It was pretty simple, actually," Bruck showed off. "I got an insider-tip. I checked it in the archives and everything is just listed there. Every Jedi has their account where everything about his origin is listed."

"Did you, by any chance, check my account too?" Anakin asked interestedly.

"Um...no, I didn't think of that," Bruck admitted. "But I can show you! I know how to open the data with the list."

"Cool!" Anakin said enthusiastically. "Let's do it this evening. You're coming too?" he asked Obi-Wan.

"Um... dunno..." Obi-Wan said hesitantly.

"Afraid to do something which is forbidden?" Anakin challenged him.

"It's not because it's forbidden," Obi-Wan said crossly.

"No? Why then?" Anakin teased him.

"I have something else to do this evening but I guess... it can wait. I guess it's interesting to find out where you come from."

"Great, then let's do it this evening." Anakin jumped out of the training spaceship and the other two followed him.

Master Plo Koon, teacher for space navigation, approached them. "You crashed into the asteroid again," he said sternly. "What happened? Anakin?"

Anakin kept his face blank. He hated that. No matter what happened, Master Plo Koon would always ask him. Whether they had done well or had failed - it was always Anakin who was responsible for it and who had to explain himself. As if the others could not speak for themselves. Navigating a spaceship was teamwork. Okay, it was Anakin who gave the orders most of the time but that was because he was the best space pilot of them. And besides, if the others did not agree with that, they could have said something against it. Morosely, Anakin started to retell the events. "Well, first time, Bruck tried to operate as if we were in hyperspace modus and so his efforts to navigate around the asteroids did not help us much. I realised too late what he was doing and then it was, well, too late. Next time, Bruck interpreted the numbers on the control panel wrongly. I think he displaced point one place to the left. That's why he did kind of wrong things and the engines overheated completely. Third time..." Anakin really hated it. It felt as if he squealed on his classmates again and again. Anakin rarely did something wrong - so he always had to place the blame on the others. He often tried to make it sound funny or unimportant or tried to point out his tiny mistakes too. But there was not much he could do because, most of the times, a Jedi Master could tell when you were lying. Sometimes Anakin wished there was someone who was better than him. Not many - only one student who was better than him would be great. Then the teachers could ask the other student, and Anakin could lean back, relax and enjoy the fact that he was second-best.

This evening, Anakin, Bruck and Obi-Wan sneaked into the archives. Bruck led them to a computer in a quiet corner, tipped in a code and soon they had a long list of Jedi names on the display. Bruck scrolled down to his own name and clicked on it. Immediately, his account opened and displayed the information on him. Birth date, birth planet, his father's and mother's name and profession, other family members, the Jedi who had found him and the date he had been brought to the Temple, and some extra information.

"You see?" Bruck said proudly and pointed to the name of his father. "He's treasurer. I've searched the holonet a bit for him and there is loads of information about him. He's really famous. And he's a good treasurer. Since his reign, the planet's economy has so much improved. The people adore him."

"You don't speak of _reign_ if he's a treasurer," Obi-Wan corrected him. "It's his _term_ in office."

"Well, then let's see what your father does, Oafy-Wan," Bruck said sourly. "I bet he's not a treasurer." He opened Obi-Wan's profile and the three boys bent eagerly over the computer in order to read the information.

Anakin started laughing when he read Obi-Wan's father's profession. "Well, Bruck, he definitely is _not_ a treasurer." He gave Bruck a friendly punch. "Oafy-Wan's Dad is a _king_."

Bruck and Obi-Wan stared equally dumbfounded at the display. "He probably only reigns above a little region on some backwater planet," Bruck said enviously.

"No," Obi-Wan said softly and pointed towards the label _birth planet_. It read _Maleevis_.

Anakin let out little whistle. "I think I've heard the name before," Bruck said thoughtfully. If even Bruck had heard the name before, it had to be a very famous or very important planet. Bruck was horrible at memorising names.

"It's that big planet in the Majara system, isn't it?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan, who was still staring disbelievingly at the screen, simply nodded. "Wow, that's crazy", Anakin stated.

"Here, look at this," Bruck said excitedly. "Your parents did not want to give you to the Jedi at first because you were... _the only male heir to the throne_," he read the extra information aloud. He gaped. "You could have been the king of Maleevis." he said in utter shock.

Anakin could not believe it. Obi-Wan, clumsy Oafy-Wan Kenobi, was king of Maleevis, rich and politically influential system? Obi-Wan, who was so often impatient or angry and who did not behave king-like at all... "Hey, come on, I want to see who my parents are," Anakin told Bruck excitedly. He was very curious now and hopped up and down while Bruck opened the data file right below Obi-Wan's name. Anakin nervously bent forward and read his file. He skipped _name_ and _birth date_ and went right to _birth planet_. "Tatooine..." Anakin frowned. "Has anyone of you ever heard of that planet?"

Both shook their heads. "I'm going to check," Obi-Wan said, who had meanwhile recovered from his shock, and opened a star chart on a computer nearby. "Here, Tatooine. It's a little planet in the Outer Rim. It looks like it's mostly desert... It's not in the Republic... and it doesn't have a legal government. It's very poor. Some little towns where smugglers and space pirates go underground... there are also slaveholders... oh, the Hutts rule the planet..." Obi-Wan looked up. "Doesn't sound like a nice planet to spend your holidays."

Anakin bit his lip. He was a bit disappointed that he, Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, had been born on such an unimportant planet. "No, certainly not," he agreed and then he read on. He halted when the place where his father's name should be was blank. "What does it mean?" he asked anxiously. "Is he dead?"

"I don't think so," Obi-Wan said. "They would have written that, wouldn't they? Maybe he's just unknown."

"But how..." Anakin read on. His mother's name was Shmi Skywalker. He smiled to himself. So he had at least a mother. Her profession was... His heart skipped a beat. Suddenly he felt very sick and miserable. "What - what does that mean?" he asked weakly.

"Well, Obi-Wan just read there are slaveholders on Tatooine," Bruck said. "A slave belongs to -"

"I know what a slave is!" Anakin said angrily. Trying very hard to stay calm, he checked the next information. He had neither brothers nor sisters, Master Yaddle had found him some eleven years ago and then came the long _extra information_ part.

_Master Yaddle bought Anakin Skywalker from Ga__rdula the Hutt for 6.750 Tatooine Rafoons ( 45, 7113 Republican Credits). The implant marking him as a slave was removed from his left upper arm by surgery on Tatooine. Shmi Skywalker claims there was no father._ Anakin stopped here again. "No father?" he asked in a trembling voice. "But how's that possible?"

"Anakin, just think realistically," Obi-Wan said, slightly annoyed.

"What?" Anakin fiercely demanded to know.

"Well, she's a slave," Obi-Wan said evasively.

"So?" Anakin furiously glared at Obi-Wan.

"Maybe she was a, well... whore."

Choking back his tears, Anakin stared at the screen again but he did not continue reading it. "My mother was _not_ a whore," he said defiantly.

"Maybe someone, um, raped her," Bruck said cautiously. "That planet sounds pretty rough and backward. I wouldn't be surprised if... And maybe she was just ashamed of what happened and so she just told everyone there was no father at all."

Angry and desperate at the same time, Anakin closed his data file. The next paragraph was very long. It was about the prophecy, him being presumably the Chosen One and his midi-chlorians count. He did not feel like reading it now. He knew all about it anyway. Sometimes he overheard Masters discussing him. Sometimes other apprentices heard rumours about him and knew things about him earlier than he did. Soon everyone was going to know about his mother who was a whore. Anakin was sure Obi-Wan and Bruck were going to spread the word to everyone immediately. Anakin considered Bruck his friend but he knew Bruck was jealous of him and he probably would show off that his father was a rich and influential man whereas the Chosen One's father was perhaps a rapist. Obi-Wan certainly was not his friend. Spending time with him could be fun sometimes but there was too much rivalry between them to ever become closer. Because Obi-Wan was jealous too.

Sighing inwardly, Anakin turned to leave. They did not realise that _they_ were the ones to be envied. They were born on respectable planets, they were a prince, or a treasurer's son. Anakin was a _slave. _He had been _bought_ by the Jedi. _Bought. _He laughed bitterly. 45,7113 Republican Credits. That was how much he was worth. 45,7113 Republican Credits. With that money you could eat in a nice middle class Coruscanti restaurant and get home in an air taxi. Maybe then there was still something left for a packet of cigarettes. But only very cheap cigarettes. That was how much Anakin Skywalker was worth. Anakin palpated the scar on his left upper arm. He had always wondered how he had got it. It had been there as long as he could remember. Now he knew. And he wished he did not.


	4. Who wants to be a Padawan

**Author's Note:** In this chapter, the point of view will switch several times - don't get confused, please :)

Thanks for reviewing:

Jedi Knight 13: There will not be so many consequences from their discovery in this chapter but it is definitely something none of them will forget easily...

Soul of a Young Man: Hey, you almost quoted something which a character in this story is going to say later, coughcough... How did you know? ;-)

Phoenix Red Lion: Obi-Wan is too modest, it would never go to his head. He rather got a shock finding out he could have been a king ;-) especially as he favours democracy to monarchy. And Anakin... Let's say he does not have any _close_ friends.

Wawoot: Hello there! It's good to know you're reading this fic too! Thanks a lot :)

* * *

Obi-Wan was a completely nervous wreck. He did not touch a bit of his presumably last lunch in the Temple. His stomach was writhing and the mere smell of the food made him feel thoroughly sick. Today was his big day. Today it was decided whether he was going to be a Padawan or whether he was going to be sent off to the Agricultural Corps. Today was the last chance a Master chose him as his Padawan. In one month he would turn thirteen and then his chances of ever becoming a Jedi Knight would be irrevocably over. There was no Master scheduled to come to the Temple and look for a Padawan during the next months. Of course there could always be an exception - a Padawan could die and the Master would look for a new apprentice - but that was something Obi-Wan did not like to think about. So today was the turning point of Obi-Wan's life. It was Qui-Gon Jinn who was looking for a Padawan (or rather, who was _forced_ by Yoda to look for a Padawan, some rumoured). It seemed Master Jinn still had not overcome the loss of his last Padawan. It was a bit scary of course to think that someone like that could become Obi-Wan's Master but he was happy as long as he was chosen by _any_ Master. 

"Hey, Obi-Wan, you need to eat something," Bant Eerin, who sat next to him at the table, encouraged him.

"I'm trying," Obi-Wan muttered, carefully put a tiny bit of vegetables on his fork, and slowly chewed on them, which - somehow - were particularly tenacious today.

"Do or do not - there is no try," Garen told him.

Obi-Wan smiled shakily at his friends. He was grateful they were trying to cheer him up.

"You know, if you don't like the food you can give it to me," Reeft, who was always hungry, offered.

"Yes." Relieved, Obi-Wan quickly shoved his still full plate towards Reeft. He had a very queasy feeling in his stomach and it would not help him win the duel if he got sick. Obi-Wan shook his head. _Win the duel_... As if there was any chance he could win... He did not need to worry if Qui-Gon Jinn was a good Master or not. Because Master Jinn was going to choose Anakin anyway. He was bound to choose Anakin. How could he not choose the _Chosen One_? Of course there were still two other apprentices - Siri Tachi and Bruck Chun - who hoped to be chosen by Qui-Gon as his Padawan too. To Obi-Wan, however, there was no doubt what Qui-Gon's decision would be like. And, naturally, the Masters had decided Obi-Wan was to fight against Anakin. _Why, why, why???_ Against Siri or Bruck, he would have stood a chance. Against Anakin however... It was so _unfair_.

Soon it would be time. Obi-Wan got up from the table. "I'm going to... do some warm-up," he told his friends in a false cheerful voice.

"Good luck," Reeft told him earnestly.

"You'll make it," Garen said encouragingly.

"I have my doubts about that," a sneering voice suddenly spoke up from behind Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan turned around and found himself face to face with Bruck Chun, Anakin Skywalker and Siri Tachi. "Or did Garen mean that you do not trip over your own feet when he said you'd make it, Oafy-Wan?" Bruck continued.

"You'd better put on short trousers so you won't trip over them," Anakin advised Obi-Wan, smiling innocently at him.

"Just leave him alone," Bant piped up.

"Oh, Oafy-Wan's got a _girl-friend,_" Siri taunted, loud enough for the whole refectory to hear.

Obi-Wan blushed deeply. "She's not my girl-friend," he hissed.

"Then why are your cheeks so red?" Anakin smirked.

"If bragging is all you can, then your chances of winning are pretty low," Garen said angrily.

"Well, hope dies last, doesn't it?" Bruck sneered.

"At least Obi-Wan was not _bought _into the Jedi Order," Garen said nastily.

Anakin turned a deep crimson red. Obi-Wan quickly looked away – he looked anywhere but at Anakin. Hadn't Obi-Wan told Garen _not_ to tell it to anyone else?! Obi-Wan had meant to tell his friend under the pledge of secrecy… He probably should not have told anyone at all.

"Of course Oafy-Wan was not bought," Siri said spitefully. "Who would ever pay anything for _him_? His parents probably paid the Jedi Order compensation for taking him away from them – they were certainly utterly relieved to be finally rid of such a complete idiot."

Bant just opened her mouth in order to protest but at that moment a Master walked past them and all of them fell silent immediately and just glared at each other. Again it was the former Bear Clan against the former Wookie Clan. But soon that would be over too. Anakin would be chosen as Qui-Gon's Padawan and he would go on missions with the Jedi Knight. Anakin would become a hero, a great Jedi, the Chosen One. Obi-Wan and Bruck would be sent to the Agri Corps and spend the rest of their days growing crops, digging into mud and dirt, doing nothing heroic. Obi-Wan thought he would even miss that rivalry, those taunts and fights between them. He would miss everything that somehow belonged to life in the Temple. His heart heavy, he watched Anakin, Bruck and Siri leave for the changing rooms.

"They're just trying to unsettle you," Reeft said annoyed. "They want to make you angry so you can't concentrate during the fight."

"Yeah, that's the only chance they have," Garen agreed. "Because else they can't win against you."

Obi-Wan hung his head. "I... appreciate your support but... well, you know I don't have a chance."

There was an awkward silence until Bant said, "We all know it's almost impossible to win against Anakin but you mustn't give up even before you start."

"She's absolutely right." Garen clapped Obi-Wan hard on his back. "You may not win but you must at least give that arrogant brat a hard time. You mustn't leave without a fight. And if you have to leave, you'll leave with your head held high. Maybe Master Jinn will like that, you can never know. Winning the duel doesn't automatically make Anakin his Padawan. Maybe he's going to choose you even if you lose."

"Has something like that ever happened?" Obi-Wan asked doubtfully.

"I don't know." Reeft shrugged. "But that's not the point, I guess. You know Master Jinn is a rebel who likes to go against the rules. I wouldn't be surprised if he did something unexpected like that."

Obi-Wan contemplated it for a moment. Maybe Garen was right. Could there be a tiny chance for him? Obi-Wan nodded grimly at his friends. "You're right. I will not leave without a fight."

"Yes!" they cheered. "We will be there and watch you fight," Bant said. "We'll keep our fingers crossed for you."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan smiled at them. And when they smiled back at him, he knew he would never give up that easily. He wanted to stay with them and become a great Jedi Knight and swordsman as they had always dreamed of. He was determined: If he had the ghost of a chance, he would seize it.

ooooooo

Anakin and Bruck were in the boys' changing room. It was an odd situation. They were friends but at the same time they were opponents. Not directly - Bruck would fight against Siri, and Anakin would fight against Obi-Wan - but there could be only one who would be chosen by Qui-Gon and both of them wanted to be that one. Anakin knew he was going to be chosen. He had heard the Masters mutter that there had never been such a gifted apprentice in the Temple before. Anakin knew he was going to win and he was very glad he did not have to fight against Bruck. He feared Bruck was going to be jealous of him anyway and he did not want to be the one who sealed Bruck's fate. Bruck was overly nervous. He kept pacing up and down the room, sometimes igniting his lightsaber and doing some test strikes. Then Master Gallia came in to fetch Bruck. Siri and Bruck were going to fight the first duel. Anakin had to stay inside the changing room and wait until it was his turn.

"Good luck, Bruck," Anakin told his friend. Bruck just nodded briefly, nervously twisting his lightsaber hilt in his hands. It was odd. He wished Bruck good luck in the duel against his other friend. But Siri was younger. She still had enough time to be chosen as someone's Padawan. Sighing deeply, Anakin sat back on the bench and did a bit of meditation. A few moments later, Obi-Wan entered the room too. They did not even bother to say hello to each other. Obi-Wan was just as nervous as Bruck, though he sat rigidly on the bench. But Anakin could feel his nervousness in the Force. Obi-Wan radiated nervousness like a red blinking siren. Anakin sighed again. No one who was as nervous as that could ever fight a decent duel. He thought Bruck and Obi-Wan desperately needed a Master who taught them to relax.

Finally, Bruck and Master Gallia came back. It was obvious Bruck had lost. His lips were a thin angry line and his eyes were cast to the floor. Worriedly, Anakin turned to him but Master Gallia shooed him outside. Bruck stormed past him, not saying a word. _Oh no_. Feeling utterly sorry for his friend, Anakin followed Master Gallia and Obi-Wan into the Combat Training Chamber. Anakin had never seen so many people here before. Suddenly he found everyone staring at him. _Oh. They're probably here because of me_, he realised. Alright. He was going to prove them he was the Chosen One.

Master Gallia checked their lightsabers (the power settings had to be low). Anakin and Obi-Wan bowed to each other like they had done so many times in training before. _Only this is not training_, Anakin thought. _This time it's real_. They held their lightsabers up over their heads, both were tensed and ready to attack.

"Go!" Master Gallia shouted.

Obi-Wan did not attack. Of course he did not. Anakin had known that coming. He had fought so often against Obi-Wan that he knew all his moves by heart. If Obi-Wan attacked quickly, he was not fighting seriously. Then he just wanted to get it over soon. If he, however, tried to win (and yes, it was only "trying" - not "doing"), he would wait for Anakin to attack and rely on his defensive skills (which were really good, by the way). Of course Obi-Wan tried to win today and so he waited for Anakin to make the first move. But Anakin did not attack but just waited too. He faintly registered the surprised mutterings of the spectators when none of them moved. Allowing himself a little smile, Anakin lowered his lightsaber.

"You don't want to fight me?" he challenged Obi-Wan.

"I have to admit I would have preferred to fight against someone else," Obi-Wan said quietly.

Anakin grinned. Obi-Wan _could_ be fun sometimes. "A Jedi must accept his fate," Anakin countered.

"Exactly. So, will you surrender and accept the fact that you cannot win?"

Anakin frowned. That definitely went too far. That was not fun anymore. "Nice try, Oafy-Wan," Anakin muttered and then he attacked without advance notice. Obi-Wan, who had never let his guard down, parried his blow skilfully. Anakin's tactic had been meant to unnerve Obi-Wan or make him impatient but as it seemed, Obi-Wan had grown more confident while speaking. They were equal for the moment but Anakin knew it was not going to be that way for long. He knew each of Obi-Wan's techniques and - more importantly - he knew the flaws in it. Anakin could be patient. He was going to wait for the right time - and then he would strike.

ooooooo

Qui-Gon had to admit that, against his will, he was intrigued by this duel. He had only politely paid a little attention to the first duel but this one was different. It had been the unusual beginning which had captured his attention. They had just stood there, doing nothing. It was not the normal nervous beginning of a duel between apprentices who wanted to be chosen as a Padawan. Normally, they could not wait to display their abilities. These two, however, were different. The smaller boy, Anakin Skywalker, was unusually calm. The other one, Obi-Wan Kenobi, had been very nervous at first but had somehow calmed down when they had just faced each other and spoken a few words. What they had said to each other, Qui-Gon had not been able to hear. Now they were fighting a fierce, but at the same time very controlled duel.

"Most impressive," Dooku, who sat next to Qui-Gon, remarked.

Qui-Gon nodded absent-mindedly. Dooku was sparing of praise. Qui-Gon knew that from his time as Dooku's Padawan. But _if_ Dooku praised you, he really meant it. And these two boys _were_ good. Qui-Gon had seldom seen students their age who fought so well.

"What will happen to them?" Qui-Gon asked Mace Windu, who sat next to him on the other side.

"What do you mean, _what will happen to them_?" Mace asked, frowning very hard.

"Well, if I don't choose them as my Padawan, of course," Qui-Gon replied annoyed.

Mace stared fiercely at Qui-Gon and Qui-Gon could tell he was just as annoyed with Qui-Gon as Qui-Gon was with him. "You mean what happens to the boy who is not chosen by you?"

Qui-Gon sighed. "Mace, I think I've told you often enough I will not train a Padawan again."

"But look at them!" Mace said exasperatedly. "Look at Skywalker! He's so talented, I think I've never seen someone as gifted as him before. He's the Chosen One, we cannot send him off to the Agricultural Corps!"

"Then find him another Master," Qui-Gon said curtly.

Mace shot him a warning glance. "You cannot go on like this forever, Qui-Gon," he told him sternly.

"I think I can decide that myself," Qui-Gon said irritated, stood up and turned to leave the training room. When he was halfway through the door, something caught his attention. Something very strange happened in the Force. He turned around to look at the two fighting apprentices. Until now, they had been equal. But now... Qui-Gon gaped. Anakin was whirling around the room, moving his lightsaber in perfect synchronisation with the flow of the Force. His strikes and parries were strong but gentle at the same time. He seemed to be one with the Force, floating in it, the humming of his lightsaber singing along with the Force. Obi-Wan tried to keep up with him. He was fighting bravely to the end, never giving up. His insistence was admirable but pointless. He could never win this.

"He's really good, isn't he?" someone standing next to Qui-Gon addressed him. Qui-Gon turned to look at him. He was an old Jedi Knight Qui-Gon did not know very well. He worked as a pilot and was seldom at the Temple. "The younger one," the old Knight continued, "he's really talented."

"He's not younger," Qui-Gon said distractedly. "They were born on the same day."

"Oh. But his braid is much shorter."

"That was an accident."

"Aha. I think I've never before seen such a young student fight so well." The Jedi kept babbling on and on and Qui-Gon moved closer to the duelling arena to be able to have a closer look at the combatants. No, not the combatants. He was looking only at Anakin. Qui-Gon sighed. It was too late now. He was already too fascinated by the boy to just let him go. He knew he had already made his decision. He should not have turned back when the Force had called him. But it was always like that. Qui-Gon had a strong connection to the Living Force. That was what got him into trouble so often. Without thinking, he would just do what the Living Force told him, no matter if the Jedi Code or the Council forbade it. _You're rushing headlong towards ruin, Qui-Gon_, he told himself.

He should not have turned back.

The duel was approaching its end. Obi-Wan was completely exhausted. It was a wonder he was still able to block Anakin's fierce blows. Then Anakin started a series of wild attacks and drove Obi-Wan backwards until Obi-Wan tripped over his own feet. Next moment, Obi-Wan's lightsaber flew through the air, landed on the floor with a clattering sound and then extinguished. There was utter silence for a moment. Then the audience erupted into applause and cheers. Anakin smiled proudly and bowed to the spectators. He offered his hand to Obi-Wan to help him get up but Obi-Wan ignored the hand, got on his feet and stormed away without even bowing or congratulating Anakin on his victory. Qui-Gon shook his head in disapproval. Obi-Wan may be talented but there was too much anger in him. Maybe it was good to send him to work with the Agri Corps. Obi-Wan would certainly be disappointed at first but in the long run, it would be the best for him. It would save him from the fate that Xanatos had met.

ooooooo

Anakin felt momentarily lost. He stared at Obi-Wan's retreating back. Why did he have to spoil Anakin's triumph by his childish behaviour?! It was so _unfair_. Obi-Wan had even left his lightsaber here. Slowly, Anakin walked over to it and picked it up. The training lightsabers were all the same standard model. Anakin wondered whether he was soon going to build his own lightsaber. He made his way back to the changing rooms when someone stopped him.

"Anakin Skywalker."

It was Qui-Gon Jinn. Suddenly, Anakin became very nervous. He had been calm before the duel and during the duel but now he did not know what to do with his hands, where to look and what to say. "Um, hello, Master Jinn." He bowed respectfully.

Master Jinn smiled kindly down at him and thus eased a bit of Anakin's nervousness. "You fought very well."

Anakin bit his lip and tried very hard not to grin like an idiot. "Thank you," he said and his voice sounded so very small. Would Master Jinn ask him now? Would he offer to train him?

"Your defensive skills could be improved but apart from that it was really good."

The words were out before Anakin could stop himself. "Will you teach me?"

"Yes," Master Jinn said simply.

"Thank you!" Anakin could not suppress the broad grin any longer. He did not really know what to do now. He felt like embracing Master Jinn but that was certainly not the proper Jedi-thing to do. "Thank you!" he said again. "That's so nice of you. I'm so happy. Thank you so much."

"I'm happy too to have you as my apprentice," Master Jinn said with his kind smile again. "If I have someone with me who fights as well as you, I'll never have to worry about my safety anymore."

Anakin laughed happily. It was the best day of his life.

"And now go and put on a proper tunic, Padawan, and then we'll go to the Council and take our oaths."

_Padawan_. Master Jinn had called him _Padawan_. It sounded so _good_! "Yes, Master," Anakin said excitedly and hurried off.

When he entered the changing rooms, he heard a soft sniffing noise. His heart sank. No, today was not the happiest day of his life.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Do you think I wrote Qui-Gon too out of character? It was a bit difficult because I didn't want Qui-Gon and Anakin to go through the whole Xanatos-business again... I know Qui-Gon was extremely hesitant and did not want to take Obi-Wan as his apprentice in the Jedi Apprentice Books... but then again, in Episode I, his mind seemed to be set on Anakin and he gave the impression of someone who makes his decisions quickly (for example when he suddenly declared Obi-Wan was "ready" to be knighted). 


	5. ObiWan's Fate

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate your feedback!

Soul of a Young Man: Okay, that sounds not good. You have visions, there's is anger in you... uh-oh, reminds me strongly of someone else ;-) I recommend some long meditation... So you think Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan - that's the way it's supposed to be. Great, that makes me hope for "Jedi Trials" that they will somehow reunite ;-)

Phoenix Red Lion: Thank you very, very much! I've never got such a long review before - I feel very flattered :) I'm so glad you like this and your review is a very accurate analysis of the situation. What else can I say? - thanks!

Nicho: Thanks a lot for reviewing. I hope you like how this story continues.

Jedi Knight 13: Yes, tenacy is something that might come in useful later...hm, let's see what happens to him :)

Geri K: Of course Obi-Wan should be able to control his anger as he is a Jedi but who would not be desparated if their dreams were crushed? Qui-Gon is a bit quick to judge people who show signs of anger because he had bad experience with Xanatos.

eirene 1988: Ah, you're reading this one too, great! Thanks a lot for reviewing :)

arzum: Hm, will there be someone who takes him as an apprentice? I hope you like what I planned for him...

Anaya: I agree with you, Qui-Gon should have been more hesitant with Anakin too. To my shame I have to admit that I intentionally left that out because of lazyness... I didn't feel like writing the whole Xanatos-episode again because it would slow the plot down too much. But I'll try to refer to it from time to time, so it won't sound too out of character.

phanton-jedi 1: When I started writing this, it felt a bit odd to me too that they were of the same age but that was really the reason why I chose to write it - it seemed an intriguing thing ;-) And in the meantime, I've got used to it. What, they did _not_ grow up together as apprentinces?? ;-)

* * *

Quietly, Anakin entered the changing room. Obi-Wan was sitting in a corner, his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in his arms. His shoulders were shaking a bit. Today was meant to be the happiest day of Anakin's life but how could you enjoy your day when someone else was so unhappy? 

"Will they send you to the Agri Corps now?" Anakin asked cautiously.

Obi-Wan looked up, not bothering to hide the fact that he was crying. "What kind of a stupid question is that?" he snapped angrily at Anakin. "Of course they'll send me there!"

"That's unfair!" Anakin said sympathetically. "You fought so well today!"

"Stop that!" Obi-Wan glared furiously at him.

"Stop what?"

"Mocking me! I'm so sick of it! Wasn't it enough to defeat me like that?"

"Like what?!"

"Having me trip over my own feet again, making everyone laugh," Obi-Wan said bitterly.

Anakin shook his head in frustration. Obi-Wan was being so paranoid! "But no one laughed."

"Yeah, they felt probably pity for me. Or they were too caught up admiring you. What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you go out and sign autographs?"

Anakin flung his sweaty tunic, which he had just taken off, to the floor. Obi-Wan's words hurt. He tried to tell himself that Obi-Wan was just so devastated because he was sent off to the Agri Corps and did not really mean it. But Anakin was getting angry all the same. "You see, I understand if you're unhappy and angry because you have to go to the Agri Corps, I would be angry too. I don't want to go there either. Can you blame me for trying to win? Can you blame me for being happy because I was chosen as a Padawan? You would be happy too."

"Yes, I would be happy too," Obi-Wan said softly, "and you'd be angry too if you were sent to the Agri Corps. But the fact is: you're not sent there. You were chosen as his Padawan. And I was not."

"I wish you could be a Padawan too, Obi-Wan," Anakin said sincerely.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Because you could enjoy this day better if you didn't have to worry about your bad conscience?" He started undressing too and picked a towel to wipe his face, which was wet with sweat and tears.

Anakin gave up talking to Obi-Wan. It was pointless as Obi-Wan so badly wanted to blame Anakin for his misery. Anakin conscientiously brushed his hair and plaited his braid. He wanted to look like a good Padawan when he swore his oath. Suddenly, he realised he had still Obi-Wan's lightsaber with him. Without a word, he put it on top of the pile of Obi-Wan's clothes.

"I won't need this anymore," Obi-Wan said, trying to sound brave. "I'm leaving tonight."

Anakin gulped. "Already?" he asked, shocked.

"Well, the ship for Bandomeer leaves tonight..." Obi-Wan trailed off.

Anakin was finished with dressing now and there was no reason for him to stay longer in the changing rooms. Unsure what to do or what to say, he hovered next to he door. He helplessly watched Obi-Wan plait his braid with trembling fingers. _Probably for the last time_. _Or maybe he's going to keep his haircut like this forever_. Anakin saw an image of Obi-Wan planting some crippled vegetables, his long braid dangling loosely in the dirt, always reminding him of his dream which had never come true.

"May the Force be with you," Anakin said with a big lump in his throat.

"And with you too," Obi-Wan replied quietly.

There was really nothing Anakin could say to comfort him, so he just left.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan unexpectedly called him back.

Anakin stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"I, um, forgot to congratulate you." Obi-Wan awkwardly looked at him. He was standing barefoot on the floor tiles, his tunic all disarranged. "Well... Congratulations."

"Thank you," Anakin replied, his mind already furiously working on a solution for this situation. He would not accept it to simply end like this. There had to be something he could do about it - he just had not found it yet.

"I hope Master Jinn is a good Master," Obi-Wan said politely.

"Yeah, he seems nice enough -" Anakin stopped. _This_ was it. There was nothing _he_ could do but he had a Master now. And hey, what were Masters for, right? Master Jinn certainly would find a solution. "I got an idea," Anakin confidently told Obi-Wan. "See you later." With that, he dashed off.

ooooooo

Qui-Gon was a bit startled when his new Padawan excitedly burst into his room. "Anakin? Is there something wrong?"

"No, um, yes, I mean!" Anakin panted. "Something's very wrong. I need your help, Master."

Qui-Gon smiled at him. Anakin had already got a place inside his heart. "Whatever it is, I hope I can help you, Padawan. Won't you sit down at first?"

Anakin dropped down in one of the big armchairs and faced Qui-Gon hopefully. "It's about Obi-Wan. You know, the boy who fought against me today. He'll be thirteen in a month and they want to send him off to Bandomeer. Already tonight!"

"Ah." Qui-Gon regretfully eyed his young apprentice. He thought the rule to ban the thirteen-year-old unchosen apprentices from the Order was cruel. And yes, it was _banning_. Of course, everyone would say working with the Agri Corps was a worthy task but for the young apprentices it meant that they were separated from their friends and from their home. "That's a hard decision. But the shuttles don't go to Bandomeer regularly and I'm afraid the next shuttle to Bandomeer is scheduled for after his birthday. It's hard to send him away so unprepared. Maybe I could convince the Council to let him stay just a little longer so he can at least say goodbye to everyone. It will hurt no one if a student stays two or three days longer in the Temple than he's normally allowed."

"That's not the point, Master," Anakin told him.

Surprised, Qui-Gon looked at him. "No? But what's the point?"

"He needs a Master," Anakin explained to him. "So he can become a Jedi Knight."

"Yes, of course, Anakin," Qui-Gon said soothingly. "But unfortunately it's too late now. There's no Master who's looking for a Padawan at the moment."

"I thought maybe you could do something to help him," Anakin said hopefully.

"Me!?!" Qui-Gon said, thoroughly taken aback. "I'm sorry, Padawan, but there's nothing I -"

"But he's so sad!" Anakin argued. "He was _crying_, Master Jinn! He so much wants to become a Jedi! It's unfair, why can't he be trained?"

"Because no one -"

"Because no one chose him? That's unfair, you took him away from his family when he was a little child and you made him hopes of a life as a Jedi! And now you just dump him?! Because then you shouldn't have brought him here in the first place! Because now you've destroyed his life!"

"Anakin, please calm down," Qui-Gon tried again.

"No, I won't calm down!" Anakin said defiantly. "You haven't seen him, you haven't seen him cry and -"

"_ANAKIN!_"

Anakin jumped. "Yes, Master?" he asked timidly.

"I will see what I can do for him," Qui-Gon told him against his better judgement. He had made his decision in the blink of an eye but it seemed to be the right thing to do.

Anakin gaped. "You - you mean it?"

"Of course."

A broad smile spread on Anakin's face and Qui-Gon could not help but smile too. "Thank you!" Anakin said and he sounded just as blissful as when he had non-stop thanked Qui-Gon for taking him as his Padawan.

"I can't guarantee anything, of course," Qui-Gon quickly qualified.

"I'm sure everything will be fine," Anakin assured him full of trust.

It felt good: having someone who trusted you like that. And still, when Qui-Gon was on his way to speak to someone about young Obi-Wan's fate, all he could think was: _This is all very, very wrong. I shouldn't be doing this. I should have never agreed to ever take a Padawan again..._

ooooooo

"No."

"He's very gifted," Qui-Gon tried to reason. "You saw him fight today. He could become a great swordsman."

"There's too much anger in him."

"I'm sure you could teach him how to control his anger," Qui-Gon said with a little smile.

"I'm not interested in ever taking a Padawan again."

"That's what I thought too - until today. But I think I have just forgotten how wonderfully rewarding it is to have a Padawan."

"Padawans just make a lot of trouble. They're the most annoying thing ever."

"Oho." Amused, Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows. "But you brought him here. You shouldn't have brought him to the Temple in the first place if he's just dumped now."

"No one could know how he would develop. He could have become a great Jedi."

"I think he still can become a great Jedi. If you train him."

"No."

"Then you've destroyed his life by bringing him here."

"Don't you try to appeal to my conscience!"

ooooooo

Obi-Wan was packing his things. He was leaving the place he had called home for twelve years. It seemed as if his life was over now. There was nothing which awaited him but mud, chemicals, vegetables, dirt, plants and other depressed former Jedi. All his training, his efforts – in vain. Choking back his tears again, he put down his spaceship models. They did not fit into the tiny suitcase he was allowed to take with him. No, he had to leave everything behind but the most essential things to survive. Someone knocked on his door. Probably Bant. He had not had the courage yet to say goodbye to her.

"Yes," he said morosely, quickly wiping his tears away. "What do you want?" he asked without turning away from the suitcase on his bed to look at the intruder.

Someone cleared his throat demonstratively. A very deep male human voice. Definitely _not_ Bant. Obi-Wan turned around and was deeply shocked to find himself standing in front of no other than Master Dooku.

"M-Master Dooku," he stammered and bowed awkwardly.

"You are Obi-Wan Kenobi, right?"

Obi-Wan nodded. He was surprised Master Dooku knew his name. He had never before spoken to the great Master. Sometimes, in his childhood fantasies, he had pictured himself a great Master himself and an even better swordsman. And then he would challenge Master Dooku to a duel and they would fight for a very long time and no one would win because they were both so good. He had not wanted to meet Master Dooku like this: His eyes swollen, his room in disorder and in addition he was making a fool of himself, being impolite and stammering stupidly.

"Concerning your question what I want," Dooku continued, ignoring Obi-Wan's silly behaviour, "I want to ask you to become my Padawan."

Obi-Wan was sure he had misheard it. This could not be happening. He must have fallen asleep after the exhaustion of the duel and the whole horrible day, and now he was dreaming.

"Do you agree?" Dooku asked unperturbedly.

Obi-Wan must have looked like an idiot. He mentally slapped himself. He needed to say something, quickly, before this chance was over. "You - you want to take _me_ as your Padawan?!"

"I would be honoured if you agreed," Master Dooku stated in his deep, dignified voice.

"Y-Y-Yes," Obi-Wan said in a small voice, feeling slightly dizzy.

"Very well. The ceremony takes place in half an hour. Don't be late, Padawan." Master Dooku slightly inclined his head and left Obi-Wan's room.

Obi-Wan automatically continued packing his things. Suddenly he stopped. _Wait, what am I doing?!_ Had Master Dooku really come here to ask him if he wanted to become his Padawan? Had that really happened? Why would Master Dooku - _Master Dooku, for Force's sake!!!_ - want him, clumsy Oafy-Wan, as his Padawan? No, there had to be something wrong...

Obi-Wan stormed out of his room and caught up with Master Dooku a few corridors further.

"A-Are you sure?" he panted.

Dooku paused and looked him up and down. "I think so," he said, not moving a muscle.

And very slowly, the wonderful truth started to sink in. Disbelievingly, Obi-Wan stared at his Master. He felt he needed to say something which was fitting for such a dignified Jedi Master. "I... I feel very honoured, Master Dooku," he said genuinely and bowed deeply.

Master Dooku nodded curtly. "Well, now that this is settled, you'd better hurry and put on proper clothes for the ceremony. In case you have not listened to me earlier, it starts in half an hour."

"Yes, Master, yes, I won't be late," Obi-Wan said eagerly and he hurried off.

ooooooo

"Dooku? You mean _Master Dooku_?" Anakin said incredulously.

"Yes, the one and only," Qui-Gon answered lightly.

"You mean _Master Dooku_ is going to train _Oafy_ - um, I mean _Obi-Wan_?!!"

"Yes," Qui-Gon confirmed again.

"But that's..." Anakin disbelievingly shook his head. "That's absolutely crazy."

"Oh," Qui-Gon said, mildly amused. He had not expected Anakin to react like that. "I thought you wanted me to find him a Master."

"Why, yes! But _Master Dooku_! I mean, I never thought he'd..."

"Take a Padawan?" Qui-Gon finished for Anakin. "You must know, I was once Dooku's Padawan just as you are mine. Padawans sometimes can have much power over their Masters."

Suddenly Anakin giggled. "I just hope Obi-Wan doesn't get a heart attack when Dooku tells him he wants to train him."

"Oh, then maybe I shouldn't have done that," Qui-Gon joked. "I don't want to be responsible for your friend's death."

Anakin laughed. "Nonsense, I'm glad you did it. And I'm sure Obi-Wan will be thrilled. But he's not my friend."

"Wait a moment." Qui-Gon felt a bit left out. "He's _not_ your friend?"

"No. He's okay most of the time and sometimes he's nice but sometimes he can be a big asshole too."

"Padawan, I don't want to hear such language again, is that understood?" Qui-Gon said, annoyed. Anakin had begged him to do all that and what for? - For someone Anakin considered a "big asshole". "And I just hope there will never be a time when a _friend_ of yours needs help."

"Oh no!" Anakin slapped himself against his forehead and stared at Qui-Gon in shock. "Bruck! I've completely forgotten about him! Oh please, Master, you remember the other boy who fought against Siri, the girl? He doesn't have a Master yet either and they're going to send him to Bandomeer too. _He_'s my friend. Please, you must help him." Anakin imploringly sought his gaze.

Qui-Gon grimaced. "What about the girl? She doesn't have a Master yet either," he said sourly. "Am I to get her a Master too?"

"Well, no." Anakin smiled sheepishly at him. "She's younger, she has still much time to be chosen. She'll get a new chance."

Anakin behaved as if the matter was already decided. Qui-Gon did not like that. _What have I got myself into?_

ooooooo

Master Windu was a tad surprised. He had not expected _this_. Never before had he taken the oaths from three Padawans and three Masters at a time. It was most unusual. And he had not expected his friend, erm, his fellow Jedi Master Dooku to take a Padawan. He had not expected Ki-Adi-Mundi to do it either. He just hoped no one was going to expect him to take a Padawan now as well.

Anakin did not really know how to feel. Bruck and Obi-Wan had both got a Master who was on the Council. Obi-Wan had got Master Dooku, Anakin's childhood hero, a _legend_. Bruck had got Ki-Adi-Mundi, one of the highest Council members. Whereas Anakin... was stuck with Qui-Gon Jinn. Anakin had won today, he was said to be the Chosen One but he had got only Master Jinn, who was only famous for being rebellious. He could not help but feel that he had got the short end of the stick. And he had _wanted_ Master Jinn to get Obi-Wan and Bruck a Master. _I should be happy now_, he told himself. When he watched Bruck and Obi-Wan, who looked still rather dumbfound as if they could not believe their luck yet, he thought that, yes, he was maybe happy. Anakin smirked at Obi-Wan when the other boy was called forward by Mace Windu and almost stumbled in his nervousness. Master Jinn put a hand on Anakin's shoulder and it felt good. Master Jinn may not be famous but he was certainly the nicest Master ever. And, after all, he had been Master Dooku's Padawan. Maybe Dooku had shown him a few tricks, which he could pass on to Anakin. When it was Anakin's turn to swear the oath, he smiled widely at his Master. Today was definitely the happiest day of his life.

* * *

**AN: **at Nicho: Good guess with Dooku ;-) What do you think will happen next? 


	6. A Not So Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:** Thank you very, very much for all the reviews you sent me! I'm thrilled to see that people are reading and enjoying this. I've grown quite fond of the idea that Anakin and Obi-Wan are the same age but I wasn't so sure if anyone was interested in reading about it :)

Geri K: I think Ki-Adi-Mundi is a he (the guy with the long head who - aside from Yoda and Windu - is the only one on the Council who says a few lines from time to time). But I will not focus on him and Bruck... it's more about Anakin, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Dooku. I hope that's okay for you. But, if everyone wants to hear about Bruck, I could write a few lines about him from time to time...

phantom-jedi 1: lol, Anakin can control Qui-Gon even without Jedi mind tricks. What will happen with Dooku and Obi-Wan? Hmm, yes, I figured Dooku would be quite an interesting Master ;-)

arzum: Will I stick to the episodes? Oh dear, difficult question... Naturally, things can't happen as they did in the movies but I will pick scenes and... change them until they suit my needs ;-) Okay, I can promise that the Clone Wars will take place, there will be action on Naboo and Mustafar... Oh well, I can't say too much now ;-)

Phoenix Red Lion: Thanks again for such a lovely review! Dooku is an extremely cool bad guy, isn't he? Cristopher Lee was so, well, _cool_ in the movies ;-) But he has all the authority and dignity of a great Jedi Master as well. Did you read "Yoda - Dark Rendezvous"? After reading that book, I felt _really_ sorry for him...

Soul of a Young Man: Ah, don't be too hard with Anakin. He has a good heart and in the end he realises he's happy to have Qui-Gon as his Master. And, after all, he's still a young boy and he thinks the most important thing about a Master is the lightsaber skills ;-)

Wawoot: I agree, it's really hard to kick the apprentices out if they aren't good enough. Such elitist rules seem wrong considering what the Jedi normally teach... That's why I wanted even Bruck to get a Master (although he's so mean to Obi-Wan, lol)

Doggie3388: Hm, now that he has such a wonderful Padawan, will Dooku still go to the dark side? Hm...

Jedi Knight 13: Obi-Wan still has to learn much about controlling his anger etc. Let's see if Dooku can teach him that...

Anaya: Dooku is a wonderful character to write about. You can practically make him do everything - make him the ultimate bad guy or a great Jedi Master - and everything will seem in character ;-) Honestly, I really like Dooku.

* * *

Anakin was excited. He and his Master were going on a mission together with Master Dooku and Obi-Wan. Anakin had been on one mission before with Qui-Gon. It had been a good time. He and Qui-Gon had got along so well and Anakin had already learned very much during the three weeks as Qui-Gon's Padawan. Still, Qui-Gon was a Master and there were certain things Masters did not understand and there were several words Qui-Gon did not allow him to use in his presence. It would be nice having someone aroudn who was Anakin's age. Anakin was curious to know what Obi-Wan's training and first mission had been like. Needless to say that he was _thrilled_ to meet Master Dooku.

Dooku and Obi-Wan were already waiting on the landing platform when Anakin and his Master arrived.

"Well, hello my former Master," Qui-Gon exuberantly greeted Dooku. "It's wonderful that we'll go on missions together again, isn't it?"

Master Dooku nodded slowly but he did not return Qui-Gon's wide smile. "It's a pleasure to see you again. May I present you my Padawan? This is Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Hello, Padawan Kenobi," Qui-Gon said good-naturedly. "How are you? How's your training going?"

Obi-Wan smiled timidly and bowed. "I'm fine. Thank you very much, Master Jinn."

"Great." Qui-Gon placed his hand on Anakin's shoulders and shoved him towards Master Dooku. "And this is my Padawan Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin bowed a tad nervous. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Master Dooku," he said respectfully. He hoped it was the right thing to say towards Master Dooku.

Master Dooku inclined his head a little bit. "The pleasure is all mine," he said politely but he still did not smile.

The next days, Anakin learned that Master Dooku was always like that: He never smiled, never joked and he never laughed. He was never annoyed, never angry and, of course, never rude. He was just always strict and very dignified. Anakin thought he was endlessly cool.

ooooooo

Obi-Wan was glad Master Jinn and Anakin accompanied them on this mission. It was nice to spend time with them. Of course, Obi-Wan liked his Master very much but sometimes Master Dooku seemed to be too above everything, too Jedi Master for him. Being around Anakin and Master Jinn was easier and felt more natural. He hoped this mission would be better than the last one. He had made mistake after mistake and each day he was terrified Dooku might change his opinion and dump him as his Padawan. Fortunately, Master Dooku was a very mighty Master and he had somehow managed to save the mission but, normally, a Master and a Padawan were not supposed to work together like that. Master Dooku had never shown his annoyance at Obi-Wan's stupid behaviour - he had just always calmly pointed out Obi-Wan's mistakes to him and told him how to make it better next time. Obi-Wan had sworn to himself he would be better next time. He was training very hard in every free minute. Like now. Their Masters had left for an interview with the political leaders of Chandrila. Obi-Wan had gone to the beautiful lake nearby and practised moving objects with the Force. Here he felt good and he was centred in the Force. No one was around to examine him critically; it was just him and the lake and the Force. Lifting the big stone and directing it with the Force was almost easy. He slowly let the stone fly around himself in a circle. That was when things suddenly started getting out of hand. The stone's speed increased and it flew in circles around Obi-Wan again and again. Obi-Wan was slightly panicking. That stone was big enough to crash him if it landed on his head! Just what was wrong?! He was not doing anything at all! Anxiously, he tried to stop the stone with the Force but its speed only increased. He put his arms above his head, trying to protect himself. Next moment, the stone crashed into the water with a big splash. Obi-Wan was splattered with a few drops. Feeling haunted, he wanted to flee but then he heard a soft cackle. He whirled around and recognised Anakin standing only a few feet away.

"Anakin, what the -" Words failed Obi-Wan in his relief and fury.

"That was amazing, wasn't it?" Anakin giggled.

"You could have smashed me!" Obi-Wan said angrily. "That stone was big enough to make mud out of me!"

"Don't worry, I had everything under control," Anakin reassured him in his usual arrogance.

"But what if something had distracted you and you had dropped the stone!" Obi-Wan said exasperatedly.

"Jedi don't deal in what-ifs," Anakin retorted.

"And Jedi don't use the Force so unnecessarily," Obi-Wan countered.

"Alright, I won't tell your Master and you won't tell my Master. Deal?" Anakin suggested as if it was a fair offer.

"Just forget about it, I will not lie to my Master," Obi-Wan said sourly.

"Anyway, what's it like to have Dooku as your Master? Has he already taught you much? What was your mission like?"

"It was...okay, I guess." Obi-Wan was a bit unsure how to explain his relationship towards his Master to Anakin. "So... What is Master Jinn like?" Maybe Anakin had had similar experience and thus could understand Obi-Wan's situation.

"He's great," Anakin said enthusiastically. "I've learned so much from him - you know, that thing with the stone, I couldn't have done it without Qui-Gon's teachings. And he can be fun sometimes. It's almost as if we are friends. He's already been to so many planets and he's done loads of things. Our mission was so cool! You know, being off Coruscant for the first time, it was so amazing! We were on Gala and that's such a lovely planet. Hey, you still haven't told me what your mission was like. Anyway, we were on Gala and they had a problem with the legal heir to the throne there. Qui-Gon went into the mountains to look for the heir and he let me stay in the palace to do some investigation. It made me feel so..._good_ because that's the great thing about Qui-Gon: he just trusts you and I never expected he'd allow me to do it on my own. I mean, it was a great responsibility..."

And so it went on and on. Anakin's tales did not help cheer Obi-Wan up, quite the contrary. Any plans of ever entrusting Anakin with his problems were forgotten immediately. Learning of Anakin's success only made Obi-Wan's wrongdoings in his mission look twice as bad. When Anakin reached the point where he excessively retold how he had successfully won a swords duel against someone else (Obi-Wan had not paid attention to who it was that Anakin had fought with), Obi-Wan had had enough.

"I think I should meditate now," he said curtly, interrupting the part where Anakin's opponent had almost chopped Anakin's head off and Anakin had done some heroic stunt to avoid it. Obi-Wan turned to leave but Anakin simply followed him.

"You still haven't told me about your mission. Where did you go? And what did you do?"

"I already told you I want to meditate now," Obi-Wan insisted.

"Ah." Anakin threw him a knowing glance. "Something went wrong on your mission, right?"

"That's none of your business," Obi-Wan retorted, angry that Anakin had touched the sore spot.

Anakin grinned superiorly. "And you did not have success as I had. Oh, did you do something clumsy-oafy, Oafy-Wan?"

"Just shut up." Fuming, Obi-Wan set off with long strides.

"Hey, hasn't your Master taught you anything?" Anakin shouted after him. "Master Qui-Gon forbids me to use such rude language!"

Obi-Wan did not care what _Master Qui-Gon_ forbade. In his mind, he went over all the swearwords he knew for Anakin. Back in their spaceship, he settled down and tried to meditate and let go of his anger. It did not work. He felt Anakin's presence in the Force nearby and Obi-Wan could never meditate properly if Anakin was close. When he felt Anakin's powers in the Force, he became always depressed and sometimes even angry. Another reason was that, when they had been younger, Anakin had always tried to chop off Obi-Wan's braid during his meditation and that was why Obi-Wan had never been able to relax if he knew Anakin was in the same room. Of course, Anakin had not done a new attempt for many years now, but there was always a tiny rest of fear left inside Obi-Wan.

ooooooo

Anakin woke up early in the morning. Today was his thirteenth birthday. He was too excited to stay longer in bed. When a Padawan turned thirteen, they would get a very special gift from their Master. The thirteenth birthday marked the day when childhood was finally over. Anakin could not wait to find out what Qui-Gon had for him. He would have liked to storm into his Master's room and wake him up...

Being the conscientious Padawan Anakin was, he did not do any such thing, of course. Instead, he did some meditation and prepared breakfast for him and Qui-Gon. It was Obi-Wan's thirteenth birthday too. Anakin was curious what Master Dooku would give his apprentice as a present. He just hoped it was not going to be a lightsaber because if Obi-Wan got a lightsaber and Anakin got only... Anakin sighed. He should not think like that. But he could not help it. He thought Obi-Wan was already lucky enough that he had got Dooku as his Master and the king of Maleevis as his father and he did not deserve any great present now as well. Anakin had a present for Obi-Wan too. Nothing special, just a box of ripe-pips, a fruit the children on Gala liked to eat as sweets. But Anakin had decided he would only give it to Obi-Wan if Obi-Wan's present was not as good as Anakin's.

"Good morning, Padawan." Qui-Gon entered the little on-board kitchen and yawned loudly.

"Good morning, Master," Anakin replied. His heartbeat sped up. Would Qui-Gon give it to him now?

But Qui-Gon did not give anything to him. He just sat down, poured himself a cup of tea and rubbed his tired face. "The negotiations yesterday took so long... Must've been the most boring meeting I've ever been to. I feel like... one of Master Yoda's stews."

Anakin's face fell. He had never thought about the possibility that Qui-Gon could have simply forgotten his birthday. On the other hand, why should Qui-Gon know that today was his thirteenth birthday?

Qui-Gon sipped a bit of his tea. "Mmm... That's certainly the best thing about Padawans. If you feel terrible in the morning, they'll make you a nice breakfast. Thank you, Anakin."

"You're welcome, Master," Anakin said quietly and stared in his own cup of tea.

"Is there something wrong, Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked concerned.

Anakin silently shook his head.

"Well, it's very obvious that something is bothering you. Won't you tell me?"

Qui-Gon seemed sincerely concerned. Actually, Qui-Gon was always nice. So maybe he simply did not know today was Anakin's birthday and he certainly wanted to know when his Padawan's birthday was so he could give him a nice present. Anakin decided to tell him. "Master, um, today is my thirteenth birthday and I, well... It's not like I want to blame you or anything, it's obvious you didn't know that. And, well, you asked me what's wrong and... that's it."

"Oh. You worry too much, my dear Padawan." Qui-Gon sounded slightly amused. "What gives you the idea I didn't know today was your thirteenth birthday? I just wanted to wait until I'm fully awake because I wanted to say something more intelligent... But since you insist... Happy birthday, Anakin Skywalker. It's good to have you as my Padawan. And here's your birthday present. I hope you like it." Qui-Gon reached inside a pocket of his cloak, pulled out a little object and laid it on the table in front of Anakin. "And you should learn to control your impatience." The lecture had been spoken in a serious tone but Qui-Gon's eyes twinkled with amusement.

Anakin's mood changed immediately. "Thank you, Master," he said, beaming like crazy. "I'm sorry I suggested you had forgotten..." He picked up his present. It was a rock. It was nicely curved and it was as if it was glowing. You could not _see_ it glowing, there was just a soft prickling sensation where it touched Anakin's fingertips. Anakin caressed the rock with his fingertips, enjoying the warm feeling. "It's Force-sensitive, isn't it?"

Qui-Gon smiled proudly at him. "Yes, it is. I didn't expect you to sense it so quickly. I found it when I was a little boy and I've kept it with me since then. It has always brought me luck."

"Luck?" Anakin grinned. "And I always thought Jedi don't believe in luck."

"Well, you could say it brought me the Force. It used to comfort me when the situation was desperate."

Anakin blinked a tear away. He certainly could not wish for a better present. Never before had he got something like that. It was much better than a lightsaber because this little rock showed him that Qui-Gon really cared for him. "Thank you very much, Master. That's really a precious present. I'll take good care for it."

ooooooo

Obi-Wan did not know what he had expected. He certainly did not expect Master Dooku to throw him a big birthday party. And he did not expect some great present. But he had hoped his Master would at least acknowledge his birthday and congratulate him and maybe say something pompous. However, when Master Dooku and Master Jinn had left in the afternoon to participate in the negotiations again, he had given up hope.

He had wandered off to the lake again and now he was staring sadly at its blank surface. Another day, he would have enjoyed the peace of this place, the sunrays glittering on the water, the aromatic smell of moss and the soft breeze on his skin. Not today. Today he was only disappointed. Was this how his life as a Padawan was going to be? It had only been four weeks but he already felt he was not the right apprentice for Master Dooku. Dooku deserved someone better and Obi-Wan needed someone who was...different.

Naturally, Anakin Skywalker had to show up again just now. He _always_ was there when Obi-Wan did not want him there.

"Hey, happy birthday," Anakin said cheerfully but Obi-Wan was sure he saw a little sneer on Anakin's face.

"The same to you," Obi-Wan replied warily.

"So? What did you get?" Anakin asked _the_ question.

"What did _you_ get?" Obi-Wan retorted. He hated it. Why did it always have to be this rivalry? Who was the better swordsman, who had the better Master, who had got the better birthday present...

Anakin pulled out something from his tunic and showed it to Obi-Wan.

"That's a rock," Obi-Wan diagnosed.

Anakin laughed. "Yes, it is."

"Your Master gave you a _rock_ for your birthday?! Oh dear, I would be worried if my Master gave me a rock. It could mean he wants you to commit suicide with it." Ridiculing Anakin's present was Obi-Wan's only chance to draw off the attention from his own lack of a present. Seeing that Anakin had not got something special and making Anakin feel bad, helped a bit to forget about his own misery. Or they could at least suffer together.

ooooooo

"Don't be stupid," Anakin said, torn between being amused or annoyed by Obi-Wan. "It's not just any rock. It's Force-sensitive."

"Sure," Obi-Wan said sneeringly.

"Yes, it is." Anakin said. He was definitely annoyed know.

"You know what? I think you haven't got anything from your Master and then you've just picked up a simple rock anywhere and now you're trying to make me believe it's Force-sensitive so you can show off with it."

"You know what? _I _think it's _you_ who has not got any present from your Master and now you're jealous because _I_ got something great." Anakin saw immediately he had hit a nerve.

Obi-Wan's face was an angry mask now. "I'm certainly not jealous because of a stupid rock," he said defiantly. "And I know you didn't get a present either. You just found that stupid rock and now you're making up stories."

"Well, then try if it's Force-sensitive." Anakin self-confidently handed Obi-Wan the rock.

Obi-Wan turned the rock around in his hands, glaring at it as if he wanted it to fall to dust. Then he looked defiantly up at Anakin. "Okay, so Master Jinn gave it to you but he probably had simply forgotten today was your birthday," he said nastily, "and so he took the nearest rock and told you it's - _wow_ - Force-sensitive. It's not Force-sensitive, I'm sorry to say so but I can't feel anything."

"That's probably because you're so caught up being jealous of me!" Anakin said furiously. "I know you're not as strong in the Force as I am. And you know why? Because you can't cope with the fact that I'm stronger than you and that I got a present and you didn't."

Obi-Wan gave him a dark look. "So this is what you think of me?" he said softly, smirking slightly. "Okay, there's an easy way to test if your rock is Force-sensitive." And with that, Obi-Wan threw the rock - Anakin's birthday present, his precious present from his Master, the rock that Qui-Gon had kept with him for many years and that had comforted him when the situation had been desperate - into the lake.

Anakin gaped. He lunged forward - but there was nothing he could do to prevent it. The rock unspectacularly sank into the water's depths with a little _glugg_. "_No!_" he cried. "No, you didn't - How dare you! You're going to pay for that!" He jumped forward and pushed Obi-Wan into the water.

"Hey, are you mad?!" Obi-Wan tried to get out of the water again but Anakin did not let him and pushed him back.

"I hate you!" Anakin screamed, angry tears in his eyes. Why could Obi-Wan not allow him to be happy? Why did he have to ruin each of Anakin's happy moments? Why did he have to take his own misery out on Anakin? "You're such a mean asshole!" Anakin jumped into the water too and shoved Obi-Wan backwards. Obi-Wan tried to break free from his grip but Anakin was the stronger one. Then Obi-Wan stumbled backwards and they both landed with a loud splash in the water. Anakin ducked Obi-Wan underwater. Next moment, he got a painful kick into his stomach. He hissed in pain and loosened his grip on Obi-Wan for a moment. Spluttering, Obi-Wan surfaced again.

"Stop that!" he screamed at Anakin and made to dash off. Anakin lunged forward and threw himself on top of Obi-Wan. "Let me go!" Obi-Wan yelled, panic evident in his voice. "Will you let me go!"

But Anakin did not let him go. He grabbed Obi-Wan's head and pushed it under water again. Obi-Wan struggled and kicked - in vain. Although Anakin got several more painful kicks, he did not let go of Obi-Wan. There was only a loud rushing in his ears. He wanted to be in control of Obi-Wan, he wanted him to be at his mercy and, most of all, he wanted to make Obi-Wan suffer for what he had done to Anakin. Anakin had never felt so strong before. He pushed Obi-Wan's head deeper and deeper, enjoying Obi-Wan's every desperate resistance.

Suddenly the struggling stopped. It took Anakin some time to realise it. The body under him had gone unusually limb. The rushing in his ears stopped and was replaced by something else: Fear. He should not have overreacted like that. He should not have ducked Obi-Wan for so long. Anakin finally let go of him. But Obi-Wan did not emerge on the surface again to yell at Anakin for being such a complete idiot. His unmoving body simply floated in the water, his Jedi cloak and braid wavering around him, making everything look surrealistic and eerie. Anakin's heartbeat quickened. He grabbed Obi-Wan's collar and hauled him up again.

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin yelled at him. But Obi-Wan did not answer. His eyes were open but they were unfocussed and unmoving. "Stop this! This is not funny!" Anakin screamed desperately. "Come on, get out of the water!" He still did not get any answer. Choking back his tears, Anakin pulled the lifeless body out of the water. Obi-Wan was suddenly so heavy, his Jedi cloak and tunic soaked with water. Anakin laid Obi-Wan's body on the soft moss on the edge and tried desperately to shake him awake. "Obi-Wan! _Obi-Wan_! Come on, wake up! Don't do this to me! _Obi-Wan_!" Obi-Wan's lips were blue, his face had a slight purplish colour and it looked oddly swelled. But worst of all were his eyes. They were bulging in their holes, the pupils rolled up. They displayed one single emotion: Utter terror. Anakin shook Obi-Wan, hit him and screamed and shrieked his name again and again.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan coughed and spluttered and jerked up. It gave Anakin the shock of his life. "Obi-Wan!" he shouted in relief and pulled him into a sitting position. Obi-Wan spit a wave of water and coughed again and again. "Are you alright? Are you okay?" Anakin tightly grabbed his wet tunic and shook him roughly. "Say something! Are you alright?"

After some more coughing and spitting, Obi-Wan rose on his trembling feet. "You're a madman," he told Anakin and then he ran away.


	7. Fear, Anger and the Dark Side

**Author's Note:** Thanks again for your reviews!

arzum: Yes, there's much anger in Anakin... He'll have to overcome it... Let's see if his Master can help him.

Geri K: You thought I would kill Obi-Wan? Nah, he's my favourite character, so... I can't promise a happy end but if I killed him, I would not do it at the beginning of the fanfic ;-)

eirene 1988: I didn't really mean to write Anakin evil and arrogant... He's extremely self-confident but I don't think he's arrogant and he is not really mean to Obi-Wan either. I mean, he convinced Qui-Gon to find Obi-Wan a Master, he had a birthday present for Obi-Wan (which he unfortunately did not give him...), most of the times he didn't gloat when he had to help Obi-Wan with lightsaber training... I guess he just doesn't realise what Obi-Wan's problems are - he doesn't understand why Obi-Wan would be jealous of him. I rather feel with Anakin during the first chapters. Jealousy is a terrible thing. I think it's normal to be jealous from time to time but it always saddens me if jealousy leads to prejudices... many people who are very good at something, who have good looks or rich parents or whatever, are often quickly judged as arrogant. Okay, enough of that, I just wanted to assure you that I didn't intend to write Anakin completely evil or anything ;-) Anyway, thanks for reviewing ;-)

Anaya: Yes, stupid boys, aren't they? Their Master really have their hands full ;-)

yalila: Thanks a lot! I'm still debating with myself whether I should include the slashy parts or not... It would go so well with the plot and I really like those scenes ;-) So if no one really complains, I guess I'll write the slash. Always in motion the future is...

Phoenix Red Lion: I'm glad you think they behave like typical boys ;-) I always thought Obi-Wan was a bit too mature in Jedi Apprentice. Nevertheless, both of them, especially Anakin, still have much to learn if they want to become good Jedi. If they go on like this... well, we'll see.

Soul of a Young Man: "Qui-Gon and Dooku better make those boys see sense soon before one of them kills the other permanently." Lol, yes, we wouldn't want that, right? It's sad to see how much damage jealousy can cause...

meji: I didn't mean to write it as if Obi-Wan comes last in the whole class. I think I made Adi Gallia say that he's the second best and that's why he had to spar with Anakin. It's just _Obi-Wan_ who _feels_ that he's somehow second-class because I guess it's depressing if you always lose your training matches... And Dooku is an extremely strict Master who does not praise his apprentices very much... And all of that adds up and makes Obi-Wan do what he does. It's okay of course if you don't agree with my characterisation (I think especially concerning Obi-Wan everyone has their own idea and that's alright of course) but I hope you can enjoy this fanfic nonetheless. Anyway, thanks for reviewing :)

* * *

The negotiations today had not taken as much time as yesterday. But they had been just as tiring. It was in the early evening that Qui-Gon and Dooku got back to their ship. Everything was unusually silent and their Padawans were nowhere to be seen. Qui-Gon had expected them to practise a bit of sparring while their Masters were away...

Qui-Gon went to look for his Padawan inside their ship. No one was there. Then he checked in Anakin's little room. He found Anakin meditating. He immediately opened his eyes when Qui-Gon entered the room.

"Hello Padawan," Qui-Gon said cheerfully. "How was your day?"

Anakin smiled at him. "Good. And yours?"

"It was not very interesting but fortunately they agreed to finish earlier than yesterday. So? Have you already tried what to do with your birthday present?"

Anakin simply shook his head.

"Well, I can show you a little trick," Qui-Gon offered.

"I lost it."

Qui-Gon paused. He could not help but feel a bit disappointed at how careless his Padawan was with the present Qui-Gon had given to him. Did it not mean anything at all to Anakin? It was strange, in the morning he had seemed genuinely grateful...

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said and turned away.

"Anakin? Are you alright?" Qui-Gon asked, worried now.

Anakin made a movement with his head that could be interpreted either as a nodding or a shaking.

"Please tell me, Padawan," Qui-Gon pleaded, now really discomposed.

Anakin said something in a high-pitched voice, which Qui-Gon did not understand at first.

"Excuse me?"

"I almost killed him."

Qui-Gon frowned. He was sure he had misheard that. "You almost what?"

"I almost killed him," Anakin whimpered and he sounded really miserable.

"What do you mean?" Qui-Gon asked, an uneasy feeling growing inside him.

"Obi-Wan. I almost killed Obi-Wan," Anakin whispered, and then he started making little high-pitched sobs.

Qui-Gon gulped. Why would Anakin want to kill Obi-Wan? He remembered very well how passionately Anakin had fought for Obi-Wan getting a Master. Why would he now...? Certainly it had been a training duel and there had been an accident. Maybe Obi-Wan had fallen on a stone with his head or Anakin had forgotten to set his lightsaber to low power. "Anakin, listen, something like that can happen in a training match," Qui-Gon tried to calm down his Padawan. "It wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't a training match," Anakin insisted in a small, trembling voice. "I did it intentionally. I wanted to do it. I _enjoyed_ it."

Qui-Gon felt dread rising within him. This could not be true. Not again. He could never again bear to loose his Padawan to the dark side. He had been so sure Anakin was different from Xanatos. The boy had seemed so compassionate and serene. But now... Qui-Gon had to sit down on the little cot. His legs did not support him any longer. How could Anakin do this to him?! In the short time they had spent together, Anakin had already become like a son to him. And now he told him he had _wanted_ to kill someone and he had _enjoyed_ it.

"Why?" he asked simply.

"I-I don't know, it felt just good to make him pay for it and I enjoyed the knowledge that I was stronger than him a-and..." Anakin's voice cracked. "I almost killed him," he whispered again. "I thought he was dead and that I had done it..."

"What happened?" Qui-Gon continued asking questions. His voice sounded calm and detached but inside he was in turmoil.

"I pushed him under water and suddenly he did not move anymore," Anakin choked. "I thought he was dead but then he suddenly woke up again. I was so _terrified_ that he could be really dead."

"You tried to drown him?" Qui-Gon asked, his voice dangerously calm. He had to fight very hard to retain his self-control. "Why, for Force's sake?!"

"H-he was angry be-because he didn't get a birthday present from his Master and then he threw my rock into the lake and I became so angry..." Anakin helplessly trailed off.

"That's the reason why you wanted to _kill_ him?" Qui-Gon shouted incredulously.

"I-I didn't want to kill him, I only wanted to make him pay for it -"

"But you risked his life and you could have killed him very well!" Qui-Gon shouted, fury, dread and hurt mixed in his voice. "What he did is not a reason to kill someone! There is never a reason to kill someone unless you absolutely have to do it in order to defend yourself or protect the lives of innocents! A Jedi must _never_ let his anger control him like that! You could have...!"

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said quietly.

"And I don't know if you should call me that any longer," Qui-Gon said grimly.

Anakin sobbed softly and whispered again, "I'm sorry."

"Telling me again and again how sorry you are doesn't change a thing," Qui-Gon said harshly. "The decision what will happen now is no longer in my hands. I'm going to speak to Master Yoda." Not wanting to show Anakin how much this hurt himself too, Qui-Gon quickly left the room.

He sat in front of the comm-station for a very long time. He knew there was more to it than just the fact that Obi-Wan had thrown Anakin's rock into the water. Something bothered Anakin - something that ran much deeper - and Qui-Gon hated it that Anakin did not tell him about it. On the one hand, he felt betrayed, and on the other, he was simply worried. If Anakin had told him, they could have maybe worked it out together and it would have never come to this. Staring gloomily at the arfour unit, which excitedly waited for him to do something, he wondered what to tell Master Yoda. He knew he should have never taken a Padawan again. Why had he not listened to his feelings? They had been so clear concerning the matter. His heart heavy, Qui-Gon typed in the settings to establish a connection to Coruscant.

"Master Qui-Gon, glad I am to see you," Master Yoda said. The little blue holo-Yoda looked gravely at him. "Felt something disturbing in the Force, I did, concerning your Padawan."

"Yes, indeed." Qui-Gon remained silent. He did not know where to start. He was grateful for Yoda to keep silent and wait patiently for him to speak. "Master, I... I'm afraid I cannot train him," he stated at last.

"Hmm. What by that you mean?"

"There's anger in him. I...fear it's the dark side." Qui-Gon helplessly stared at the flickering hologram. "Today he wanted to...tried to...well, he attacked Obi-Wan and almost killed him."

Yoda knowingly nodded. "An accident it was?"

"No. I wasn't there. From what he told me, he attacked purposefully but not with the intention to kill. He said he'd stopped when he'd realised...what he had done."

"Hm, yes, hm. Young Obi-Wan is well?"

"I think so. I haven't checked yet. But Master Dooku is with him."

"Good. Young Anakin well is not, hmm? Afraid he is?"

"Of what? That he's to be banned from the Order? I don't know. I'd say he's rather afraid of himself - of what he has done."

"Feel regret, he does?"

"Yes, I'm sure he does. He's shocked and terrified and, yes, I think he feels regret."

"Good this is. Teach him to control himself, you must."

Qui-Gon was startled by that. "Master Yoda, I cannot teach him anymore. Not after what happened today. I failed to teach him to reject the dark side just as I failed to teach it to Xanatos."

"A bit hasty you are, hm? One month you have trained young Anakin. Ten more years I'll grant you to prove yourself a good teacher." Yoda cackled softly and absentmindedly scratched his left ear.

"But that's...," Qui-Gon protested. "I can't do it! How can he be a Jedi after what he did today? He's strong in the Force. His anger could become a very great danger - to himself! He should be sent to work with the Agri Corps or...anything. Anyway, I will not teach him any longer. And I know there are things he hides from me."

"Young he his. Still so much to learn, there is. Hard lessons, difficult lessons. To teach him that, I trust you. His Master you are. Continue his training, you will. Decided it is. Hm." Yoda nodded self-confidently.

"I cannot," Qui-Gon protested weakly.

"Afraid you are?" Yoda observed sagely.

"How could I not?" Qui-Gon said defiantly.

"A wise Jedi Knight you are, Master Qui-Gon, but still so much to learn there is. Learn to overcome your fear, you must."

"He shouldn't suffer under my fears and incapability as a Master. Tomorrow, I'll bring him back to the Temple and that's the end of it." Qui-Gon terminated the transmission. He was even more confused now than before.

ooooooo

Obi-Wan had stayed in his room for hours. He did not want to face anyone - neither his Master, nor Master Jinn, nor Anakin. He wished he was back in the Temple with Yoda and his friends. Master Yoda, whose presence was always soothing. His friends, who would somehow cheer him up. The peace of the Jedi Temple. His favourite place in the Room of a Thousand Fountains... Involuntarily, his fingers clenched again. His lungs seemed to be full of water one more time, threatening to explode. He could feel the cold sweat on his back again, Anakin's brutal and unyielding grip on his head, each breath which brought more water into his lungs and he desperately needed to cough but it only brought more water and more water and... _Relax_, he told himself. _**Relax**__! Breathe in and out, in and out, breathe the Force, feel the Force..._ After some time, he had halfway calmed down. _No more thoughts about water today_... Again, his gaze rested on the little box which had lain in front of his door. There were little red and violet cylindrical things in it but Obi-Wan did not know what it was. It looked like something to eat.

It could be poisoned.

There was a knock on his door. Obi-Wan checked thoroughly in the Force and when he was absolutely sure it was Master Dooku, and Anakin was far enough away, he called, "Come in".

"Padawan?" Dooku observed him critically. "What are you doing?"

"I found this in front of my door." Obi-Wan showed the box to his Master. "Do you know what it is?"

Master Dooku took it and examined it closely. "I do not know what it is. We will have our droid check it. Come on."

Obi-Wan followed his Master. Master Jinn sat with the arfour droid, looking deeply troubled. When Master Jinn looked up and met Obi-Wan's gaze, Obi-Wan stopped dead. _He knows!_ it struck him. And that meant, very soon Master Dooku would know about it too. Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than simply forget about it.

"Are you alright, Padawan Kenobi?" Master Jinn asked him with a concerned smile.

"Yes, thank you, Master Jinn," Obi-Wan replied stiffly.

Dooku told the arfour unit to scan the mysterious box. If he was confused by Obi-Wan's strange behaviour, he did not show it. "It seems to be harmless," Master Dooku said after the droid had done a series of shrill beeps. "No poisonous ingredients, no bomb, no virus." He frowned. "That's curious. Curious, indeed... We should not rely on that. Someone else should check it, a sentient being."

"What's it?" Master Jinn asked, only mildly interested.

"It was in front of my Padawan's door," Dooku explained and handed Master Jinn the item. "Do you, by any chance, know what it is?"

Master Jinn smiled sadly. "You can be assured, it's nothing dangerous. Here," he gave it back to Obi-Wan, "don't worry, you can eat it without exploding. It's a sweet the children on Gala like to eat. It's a sort of a fruit, I think. Anakin liked it a lot. I guess he brought some."

Obi-Wan winced slightly. He did not want it. "Then I suppose he lost it. Can you give it back to him?" He pushed the box in Master Jinn's hand.

"Yes, of course." Master Jinn sighed and got up. "I'm going to go to bed now. It's been a long day. Goodnight."

Obi-Wan had the impression Master Jinn almost fled.

"Well, Padawan," Master Dooku addressed Obi-Wan. "There is a Jedi tradition that a Master gives his Padawan a present on the Padawan's thirteenth birthday. The thirteenth birthday marks the day when childhood is over. It marks the beginning of the co-operation between Master and Padawan. You leave the Temple and go out into the world, you visit new planets and learn important lessons. You grow up. The present a Master gives to his apprentice on his thirteenth birthday is meant as a gift which accompanies and supports you throughout these years of learning and growing up. Obi-Wan Kenobi, you have been my Padawan for a month now. I hope that one day you will be a great Jedi Knight, who helps to keep peace and justice in the galaxy. I will do my best to support you on your way and I hope this little present will support you too. Happy birthday, my young apprentice." Very solemnly, Master Dooku handed Obi-Wan a little packet.

Obi-Wan did not really want it. "Thank you, Master," he said quietly. Slowly, he opened the packet. Inside was a little ring. It had a tiny black gemstone on it which glowed in a bluish tinge.

"This ring has special powers," Master Dooku explained. "It reacts to dark Force energies. It shines blue as a warning."

"That's really useful," Obi-Wan said, feeling both grateful and guilty. He put the ring on his finger and examined it once more. "Um, Master, why is it shining blue now?"

"Ah." Dooku nodded knowingly. "That's the dark side in you." Obi-Wan winced but his Master continued unperturbed. "You must know, Padawan, that every being has a dark side in themselves. Everyone, even Master Yoda, has darkness in their soul. But the important thing is to _control_ the darkness, to _defeat_ the darkness within you. That is what you must learn. Only then can you become a Jedi. It is a lifelong struggle which does not even end once you are a Jedi Master."

"I understand, Master." Obi-Wan bowed. "Thank you very much for the present and the lecture."

"You're welcome, Padawan," Dooku said, unsmiling as always, but Obi-Wan thought his voice sounded a bit warmer than usually.

ooooooo

Sometime round midnight, Anakin came into Qui-Gon's room. Qui-Gon had not been able to sleep anyway with his thoughts drifting from Anakin to Xanatos and back.

"Master, I didn't tell you the truth," Anakin began, his voice timid and hoarse.

"What?" It was a new piercing pain in Qui-Gon's chest. His Padawan had not only almost killed another student in his anger - he had also lied to him.

"I-I mean, I told you the truth but I left things out," Anakin quickly said.

"Ah." It confused Qui-Gon that this statement filled him with relief. He should not care anymore. Anakin had betrayed him and the Jedi, and Qui-Gon would bring him back to the Temple tomorrow. He did not want him as his Padawan anymore, did he?

"A few months back in the Temple, Bruck Chun, Obi-Wan and I checked the archives because we wanted to know where we come from and who our parents are."

"You know it is forbidden," Qui-Gon said sternly.

"Yes, of course I know it's forbidden but we were just so curious. And...well. Bruck's father is treasurer on Telos and Obi-Wan's father is king on Maleevis. Obi-Wan would be the king now if he hadn't become a Jedi."

"Okay." Qui-Gon had no idea what this was all about but he was starting to get curious. "So what about you? You're not a prince, or a treasurer's son, I take it."

"No, I'm not," Anakin said quietly. "I'm from Tatooine."

"Tatooine? I've never heard of that planet."

Anakin laughed sadly. "That's understandable. It's a very unimportant planet and... there's still slavery. My mother's a...slave." He choked out the word but then forced himself to continue. "And my father's unknown. Obi-Wan and Bruck said that maybe my mother's a whore or she was raped and it means... it means I shouldn't be there at all." Tears were glistening in Anakin's eyes. He stared at his feet while he went on. "Master Yaddle _bought_ me from my owners. She bought me for 45 somewhat Credits. 45 Credits... And I still got a scar where they removed the implant from my body. I did some research. Well, they place such implants into a slave's body so they cannot run away. If the slaves tried to run away the implant would make them explode. I'd still be a slave if Master Yaddle hadn't bought me. I was just lucky. Because of my midi-chlorians count. If there wasn't that prophecy, I'd still be there."

"Come here, Padawan." Qui-Gon patted the place next to him on his bed.

Hesitantly, Anakin sat down. "You still call me that?" he asked in a small voice.

Qui-Gon sighed. "Yes, I do." _I don't really know why, but yes, I still call you that_. He lightly put his arm around Anakin's slim shoulders. Maybe it was because he was simply glad that Anakin trusted him with that. He knew how much of an effort it had cost Anakin to explain something like that. Many things had gone wrong but there was at least that trust between them. When Qui-Gon had been a Padawan, he had often missed someone whom he could trust with everything. Of course, he had trusted Dooku as a teacher but he had never felt like he could go to him when he was sad or angry. Qui-Gon had wanted to be different as a Master. He had wanted to establish closeness between him and his Padawan. Anakin had shown him today he trusted him with his deepest fears. There were still many things to learn - both for the Master and the Padawan - but maybe trust was something upon which they could build their relationship. "Okay, now I want to ask you a question," Qui-Gon said gently. "Are you a slave now?"

"Well, no, I'm not," Anakin sniffed, "not now, but -"

"No buts," Qui-Gon said firmly. "You're not a slave. You're a Jedi. And Obi-Wan? Is he a king now?"

"No, he's a Jedi too. But he _could_ have been a king."

"And this is your first lecture tonight: Jedi don't deal in what-ifs. You're a Jedi, Obi-Wan is a Jedi and Bruck is a Jedi too."

"I know, Master, but there's still the knowledge that our lives could have been so different - that we _are_ so different."

"And that's the second lecture. If you hadn't looked it up in the archives, you wouldn't feel you're different, would you? Now you probably understand why the Jedi Code forbids you to know your heritage."

"I always thought it was because of the attachment-thing."

"It is meant to avoid attachment to your family, yes. But I think there's no way to avoid attachments. I think we all have attachments. I feel attached to my former Master - to Master Dooku -, to you, to Tahl and to Mace - they're both very good friends of mine. And yes, I believe even Master Windu has an attachment: He loves democracy. Master Yoda has an attachment: He loves the Jedi Order. It is okay to have attachments as long as you don't mistake love for possession, and as long as it doesn't interfere with your Jedi duties. That's why I think that the rule that you're not allowed to know your heritage, is to make us all feel equal. You may be the Chosen One and a former slave but it doesn't change a thing. You're no more and no less than Obi-Wan, Bruck, me, Master Dooku or Master Yoda. Because, in the end, we're all only servants of the Force."

Anakin was silent for some time. "That sounds good," he said thoughtfully and leant his head lightly against Qui-Gon's shoulder. "I was taught different things in the Temple - about attachment, that is. But I think I understand what you mean to say. I don't know if I'll be able to accept it that we're all only servants of the Force and that it doesn't matter where we come from. But I know it's right and... I'll do my best to learn and accept it."

"I'm sure you will do fine," Qui-Gon said affectionately.

"So this means I can still be a Jedi?" Anakin asked uncertainly.

"Yes. I spoke to Master Yoda and he thought you could overcome your anger."

"Why did I do it, Master?" Anakin asked and he sounded really desperate. "I don't want to kill him. I don't want to be a murderer. _Why did I do it?_ Why did I feel like that?" Anakin looked up at him as if he had all the answers of the galaxy. But Qui-Gon did not have an answer to that. The truth was: Anakin's words touched his own deepest fears. "I always thought I could control it," Anakin continued. "I was always good at it, you know? Back in the Temple, I could always control my anger and my fear. I thought the – the dark side couldn't touch me. I'm the Chosen One, I'm not _supposed_ to have dark side traits!" Agitated, Anakin wrung his hands in his lap.

"Didn't you just listen to what I said?" Qui-Gon chided him gently. "You're still human and just because you were chosen by the Force, you're not simply above human traits such as fear and anger. Maybe it is actually wise to fear one's anger and the dark side."

"But Master Yoda always says: _Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate –_"

"And Master Yoda was also sure you could overcome your anger. And if Master Yoda say so, we should trust in his wisdom, shouldn't we?"

"Hm. You're not someone who's known for trusting in the Council's wisdom," Anakin challenged him.

"Well, I just sometimes don't follow their orders. I trust in their wisdom but..."

"But?"

"A Jedi's allegiance is not to the Council, an institution, but to the Force itself. It is most important to follow the will of the Force."

"So you mean to say that the Council don't always follow the will of the Force?" Anakin asked suspiciously.

"They'd never ignore the will of the Force on purpose. Of course they try to follow the will of the Force. But sometimes, when I'm on a planet in the Outer Rim and they are in their Council Chambers on Coruscant... Then I wonder: How can they know what the Force tells me? Often they insist that I keep to the rules when they don't know what the situation is like on that faraway planet."

"Okay..." Anakin sighed. His mind seemed to be on other things. "I wonder what I can do about Obi-Wan... I fear he won't accept a simple apology."

"You certainly can't blame him for that. Patience, my young Padawan. Time heals all wounds. In a few years, both of you will have forgotten about it. Or it will be nothing but a stupid fight about unimportant things."

"I don't know," Anakin said doubtfully. "But on this mission, we need to work together."

"No, we're leaving tomorrow."

"Why?" Anakin asked anxiously.

"Two Jedi can handle the situation here alone. You and Obi-Wan didn't have much to do, anyway. So Obi-Wan can be more involved in the mission and we can go to Tatooine."

"To Tatooine?" Anakin repeated incredulously.

"Yes. I thought you wanted to meet your mother?" The idea had suddenly occurred to Qui-Gon. He knew the Council would not approve of it but, as he had just explained to his Padawan, it was more important to listen to the will of the Force than to the Council. Going to Tatooine seemed the right thing to do.

Ooooooo

Obi-Wan lay awake the whole night, staring at the ring, which his Master had given him and which was to teach him to defeat the darkness within himself. He gazed at the bluish glow, willing it to go away. But it did not work.


	8. Tatooine

**Author's Note:** Thanks for your reviews! It makes writing this fanfic so much more fun :)

Jedi Knight 13: Yes, so many conflicts... If you had to do a blackboard drawing like at school when analysing drama, it would get very confusing ;-) And it will get worse in the next chapters...

eirene1988: Hey, thanks a lot! I didn't realise the last chapter was so good... THANKS!

phantom-jedi 1: Uh, yes, the ring... It is important but not nearly as important as the ONE ring from Mordor ;-)

Soul of a Young Man: Right now, the ring is really a curse for Obi-Wan. He fights and tries so hard in order to repel his darkness... He should rather learn to accept and to relax.

The Grumpy Snail: Thank you very much! I guess you're right and Obi-Wan's life would be much easier with Qui-Gon as his Master. Let's see if it leads to the worse or to the better...

yalila: Oh-oh, I have a feeling I can't back out of the slash now anymore ;-) But you'll have to be patient, they still have a long way to go.

Anaya: I'm really glad you thought Qui-Gon was more in character now than in the other chapters...phew ;-) And if I write slash and if you don't like it, you could just skip the slashy parts - the story still has a plot aside from the slash ;-)

Geri K: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

Nicho: I really got enthusiastic when I read your review! There were so great ideas! Unfortunately, I can't make Obi-Wan go searching for the rock - that wouldn't fit in the plot right now, but your idea about Obi-Wan's "future seeing" abilities... YEAH! That's it! It's just such a little detail that I can use but it is so helpful! I had been looking for a solution to a certain problem in a future chapter and you gave me that solution! Yes! Thank you!!! Write more reviews like the last one ;-)

Doggie3388: It's "scary" that I update so quickly? Oh... ;-) Don't worry, it's nothing scary, it's just that I have already written down about fiveteen chapters and all I have to do now is rereading and revising it and looking up vocabulary in a dictionnary.

* * *

Anakin had done a lot of research on his homeplanet. He knew its major towns and its climatic conditions, its traditions and history. Nothing had prepared him for the feeling when he caught the first glimpse on the vast deserts. From space, Tatooine was nothing but deserts. Everything was very strange. Anakin thought he should feel nostalgic or remember something but there was nothing familiar about this place. The place he called home was the Jedi Temple, not this inhospitable place. They searched several days for Shmi Skywalker. The only indication they had was Gaddula the Hutt, who had once owned Anakin and probably also his mother. Anakin thought the Hutts were the most disgusting beings he had ever seen. Qui-Gon took that as an opportunity to lecture him about respecting alien races. Anakin, however, did not respect a being that had lost his mother in a bet on a pod race. He was getting angry again. This planet and its cruel customs fuelled his anger. He tried to control himself. He did not want to disappoint Qui-Gon again.

Some days later they were in a junk-shop owned by a little racketeer called Watto. He was the rightful owner of Anakin's mother. It hurt Anakin to think about his mother like that: a possession which belonged to someone. Watto sent them to the slaves' quarters, a ghetto with similar looking little houses. An old, helpful woman (she was a slave too) showed them the way. When they stood in front of the door, all bravery left Anakin. Never before in his life had he been so nervous. What would his mother be like? What could he say to her? She certainly would not recognise him anymore.

Qui-Gon put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to come with you or would you rather speak to her alone?"

"I...I...I don't know." Anakin shrugged helplessly.

"What does your heart tell you?" Qui-Gon asked gently.

Anakin laughed nervously. "My heart just beats like crazy. But... I think reason tells me I have to do it alone."

Qui-Gon laughed too. "Well, then you'll make it. I'm going to wait here for you. May the Force be with you."

"Thanks, Master," Anakin replied. He needed some more moments to gather the strength to raise his hand and knock on the door. Anxiously, he took a step backwards. The door opened and a woman looked down at him. She had dark hair and dark eyes, her face was sunburnt and haggard and her clothes were in rags. To Anakin, she looked beautiful.

"Hello. What can I do for you?" She did not recognise him.

"Um, hello. Are you... Shmi Skywalker?" Anakin asked hesitantly.

"Yes." She looked him up and down again, taking in account his Jedi clothes, his height, his eyes. Suddenly something flickered in her eyes. Was it hope? "Are you...," she whispered.

"I...I am your son," Anakin said stiffly. It sounded so stupid to say something like that!

"Ani? Anakin?"

"Yes, I'm Anakin," Anakin said softly, his voice cracked and his cheeks reddened.

But his mother did not act any better. She gave an odd noise, something between a laugh and a sob. "I-I can't believe it. When the Jedi took you with her, she told me I'd never see you again. Anakin." She pronounced the name with such affection that Anakin got a big lump in his throat. "How are you? Are you alright? What brought you here?"

"I'm alright. I came here to see you. I wanted to meet my mother."

She gave him a big smile. "Do you want to come in? You have to tell me about your life as a Jedi. You are a Jedi now, aren't you? Do you have time?"

"Yes, I have time and yes, I'm a Jedi now and yes, I'd very much like to come in and talk to you," Anakin replied, smiling too.

She laughed. Anakin liked her laugh very much. She stood aside to let him in. Curiously, Anakin took a look around. It was a tiny, meagrely furnished but clean house.

"Sit down," she told him and indicated a rusty chair. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, thank you. It's so hot here on Tatooine."

"Yes, I believe you are used to other climate in the Core," she said and handed him a glass of cold blue milk.

"Thank you," Anakin said politely and self-consciously drank the milk.

"Does it rain often where you live?"

"Yes. On Coruscant, they can control the weather. They make it rain at night, so it doesn't disturb the traffic too much. It rains twice a week."

"That's fascinating," his mother commented.

Anakin felt thoroughly uneasy. They were talking about the _weather_... He had so many other questions but he did not know how to ask them. He wanted to know of his father but he was too afraid to hurt her by such a question.

"How is your life as a Jedi?" his mother saved him from his awkwardness. "Have you seen many foreign planets?"

"Not so many yet," Anakin answered. "I've lived in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant for many years but now that I'm a Padawan I've just started to go on missions. This is the third planet I've visited so far."

"You're a Padawan? What does it mean? Is it a kind of profession?"

"No, it means I have a Master."

"A Master?" she repeated suspiciously. "What does a Master do?"

"Well, he teaches me everything there is to learn and I assist him when he goes on missions," Anakin explained.

"Alright. So, is your Master nice?"

"Yes!" Anakin said enthusiastically. "His name's Qui-Gon Jinn and he's the nicest Master ever. He's not on the Council and not very famous but he's like a father to me and I guess I have an attachment to him."

"Attachment?"

"Jedi language. Sounds a bit odd, doesn't it? Well, I just meant to say that I like him very much. I've done bad things lately and he still stands by me. And, normally, a Jedi is not allowed to visit their parents but Qui-Gon is a very unusual Jedi Master."

She smiled happily at him. "I'm glad to hear that. And do you have friends in the Jedi Temple?"

"Um, yes, I think so. Most of the Jedi are really nice and I'm friends with some of the other students my age. We were together in the Bear Clan, the group which Master Yoda taught. Master Yoda's the wisest Jedi Master in the galaxy. He looks like a little green troll and he's more than 800 years old but he's really mighty. You should see him when he draws his lightsaber."

His mother laughed again. Anakin liked that: making her laugh. She looked younger then. "It sounds like you have a good time with the Jedi."

"Yes, I have," Anakin said but he could not help but feel a bit guilty when he looked around and saw the life his mother had.

It seemed she had noticed his glance. "I always hoped you would someday have a better life than this," she said gently. "I always knew you were very special. I knew, the day when I realised I was pregnant."

Here it was. But Anakin still could not bring himself to ask the question. His heart pounding loudly, he stared at his almost empty glass of blue milk.

"You probably want to know who your father was," she said softly. Anakin only shrugged. "It may sound odd to you but there was no father," she continued. "The Jedi who discovered you here said it could have been the Force. I don't know so much about the Force, maybe you can understand it better. I don't know what happened. Suddenly, you were there. When you were born, it was the happiest day of my life."

Anakin looked up and looked her in the eyes. She looked unsure. He believed her. "You called me Ani earlier this day," he said. "Was that my nickname?"

She nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. "Yes, I used to call you that. Anakin seemed a too long name for a baby. I have a holograph of you when you were a baby. Do you want to see it?"

"Yes, please," Anakin said excitedly.

His mother went into the next room and came back with a little holograph. It showed his mother when she looked much younger cradling a little baby in her arms. Both of them looked happy.

"I look... small," Anakin finally said.

His mother laughed again. "Most babies look small."

"Yeah..." Anakin grinned too. "I've never before seen a picture of me as a baby. Do you have more holographs?"

"Unfortunately not. Taking holographs used to be very expensive at that time. A good friend of mine had borrowed a holo-recorder and so we could at least take one holograph of you."

Anakin got a bad conscience again. She sounded like she had missed him. He could picture her staring sadly at her only son's holograph when she could not sleep at night. "Was I born here?" he asked quickly in order to say anything.

"No, when you were born I used to work for Gaddula the Hutt. When she lost me to Watto, I had to move houses."

"You work for Watto now. Um, is he okay?" Anakin asked anxiously.

"He's a rather friendly slaveholder. He owns a junk-shop and working there is really okay. I mostly do some clerical work, I enlist all the junk he buys and sells and what he still needs... I have my own house here – not every slave can afford that."

"If there's anything I can do for you..."

"I'm fine, Anakin," she said gently.

"I'm glad you're fine, mother," Anakin said softly. "I was worried... Well, life doesn't seem very comfortable here on Tatooine. But that's probably just me because I can't stand such heat."

"I've never been to another planet," she assured him. "I bet I'd freeze to death anywhere else."

"Stars End!" Anakin suddenly exclaimed. "I almost forgot Master Qui-Gon! He's still waiting outside. The poor guy, I hope he hasn't got a sunstroke yet. He can come in too, can't he?"

"Yes, of course."

Qui-Gon and his mother got along very well and it was a nice day. Anakin had so many questions and his mother had just as many questions too. In the evening, Anakin got a bit dizzy from all the talking and the heat. His mother offered them to stay for the night and they agreed. She offered Anakin the only bed in the house. She wanted to sleep on the floor. Anakin started to protest but Qui-Gon indicated him to stop. Later, when they had a minute to talk in private, he explained to Anakin that his mother wanted to do that for her son and that he should not refuse her that. So Anakin took the bed.

He fell asleep very quickly. At night, he was woken by something very strange and yet familiar. He did not know what it was at first. But it certainly felt good. He pleasurably nested in his blanket, enjoying its warmth and its smell. It somehow made him feel peaceful and safe. There was a singing in his ears. He did not understand the words but the melody touched his heartstrings. He turned around in his bed and saw his mother sitting at his side, singing in a very quiet voice. The words were almost a whisper. Not wanting to interrupt the beautiful song, Anakin closed his eyes again and rejoiced in the simple music. He tried to memorise the melody, so he would be able to call it back into his mind in hard or lonely times. To his regret, his mother stopped after some time and he heard the soft rustle of clothes when she got up.

Anakin sat up in bed. "You sang that to me when I was a baby, didn't you?" he whispered.

Surprised, she turned around. "Yes," she answered uncertainly. "I didn't know you were awake."

Anakin could tell she felt a bit ashamed for her behaviour. "It is such a beautiful song," he reassured her.

"You remember it?"

"I don't exactly remember it. It was just a feeling."

"I used to sing it when you woke up at night and didn't want to fall asleep again. I already sang it when I was pregnant with you."

"Thank you for that," Anakin said, smiling into the dark room.

"There's nothing to thank me for. Every mother would have done that to her child."

"And every child should say thank you for it."

"You have become so mature. I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad and grateful that the Jedi have given you the chance to live such a life."

"Didn't you miss me?"

"Of course, Ani. Every day. But I knew you had a good life and that comforted me."

"Did Master Yaddle force you to give me to the Jedi?"

"No! No one could have taken you away from me against my will."

"I'm glad I've met you again," Anakin said stiffly, tears welling up in his eyes. "Could you...um, sing that song again?"

"Yes. Of course."

Anakin closed his eyes again and listened to the floating music which seemed to fill his very heart. It was like a wonderful dream. Soon he drifted off to sleep.

ooooooo

The next morning, it was saying goodbye. Anakin's mother wanted to give him the holograph of him as a baby.

"No, I can't take that," Anakin protested. "You said it's your only holograph."

"I've looked at it so often, I have a copy of it in my mind."

"No. I just can't take it." Seeking help, Anakin looked at Qui-Gon.

"I got an idea," Qui-Gon said. "I could take a new holograph of you with my datapad. It's not high-resolution of course, but then you can take the holo of you as a baby and your mother can have an up-to-date version of you."

"That's great!" Anakin beamed at Qui-Gon and his mother, and then he beamed into the datapad to make it a happy holograph.

"I'm glad you're with Anakin, Master Jinn," Anakin's mother told Qui-Gon when he handed her a little disc with the new holograph.

"Well, I'm glad too I have him with me," Qui-Gon stated good-naturedly.

"I'm glad too!" Anakin said firmly. Then he turned to his mother. It made him sad to leave her but he did not have another choice. "I would like to stay with you," he told her, "but I'm a Jedi and it doesn't work with my Jedi duties. Maybe we'll see each other again. I hope we will."

"Yes. I hope that too, Anakin." She smiled both sadly and proudly at him. Anakin knew she wanted to hug him but did not have the courage to do it – so he did it. He boldly put his arms around her and she tightly hugged him back. "I never expected to see you again, Ani," she told him. "It was the best thing of my life."

"You will not miss me now, will you?" Anakin tried to be strong.

She laughed a little bit. "How could I not miss you?"

"I won't forget you either," Anakin promised her.

ooooooo

When Anakin and Qui-Gon sat in the spaceship again that took them back to Coruscant, Anakin thought that it did not matter at all whether his mother was a queen or a slave. She was his mother and she loved him like any parents loved their child. Naturally, he would rather see her free and not belonging to someone.

"Master?" he addressed Qui-Gon, who sat next to him in the co-pilot's seat. "Shouldn't the Jedi do something against slavery on Tatooine? I mean, slavery is not allowed, it's against the Republic's constitution."

"Yes, Padawan, but there are more systems where slavery still exists and there are other illegal actions elsewhere, where the Jedi's help is needed," Qui-Gon reminded him sternly.

"Yes, I know that." Anakin sighed deeply. "I think the Jedi should stop slavery on every planet where it sill exists. I mean, it's not legal and it's inhuman."

"That is right, of course. We will point it out to the Council. But you must accept if they place other things first. Your compassion as a Jedi must be to all beings alike, not only to those you feel attached to."

"Yes, Master. You mean my concentration must be on the Here and Now, right?"

"Oh. Yes, I meant that." Qui-Gon thoughtfully stroked his beard. "Have I already said that so often?"

"At least three times a day, Master," Anakin said, grinning broadly.

"You're exaggerating. You know a Jedi should stick to the facts," Qui-Gon grumbled.

Anakin thought it did not matter either that he had lost the rock Qui-Gon had given to him. Going to Tatooine had been the best birthday present his Master could have given to him.

Ooooooo

Master Windu was very worried. Qui-Gon had again violated every Jedi rule. Without informing the Council, the Jedi Knight had brought his Padawan to his homeplanet to visit his mother. That was something which was normally out of question. No Jedi must know their family. It was too dangerous. They could form attachments to their family. As it seemed, that had already happened. Qui-Gon had asked the Council to do something about the situation on Tatooine where slavery was still a normal business. Mace had been in a bit of a dilemma. Of course, he had wanted to send a Jedi team there to stop such illegal business. But had he voted for that option, it would have looked as if he had only done it because he wanted to do his friend a favour. Anyway, he would have been outvoted. The majority of the Council voted for the option to submit the case to the Senate and let the politicians decide. Mace did not think that a good idea. Letting the Senators debate on it meant that slavery on Tatooine would probably exist for another ten years until the Senate reached a decision. Recently, the Senate had proven to be incapable of action. In addition to that, there were accusations of corruption against Supreme Chancellor Valorum. Mace was very worried indeed.

* * *

**AN: **Okay, all you Obi-Wan-fans, I'm sorry this chapter was so Anakin-centred. But there's more from Obi-Wan in the next chapter! Don't forget to review ;-) 


	9. Rematch

**Author's Note: **This chapter takes place about three years after the last chapter.

Thanks for your reviews!

phantom-jedi 1: I guess you're right about the last paragraph - it doesn't really fit in the rest of the chapter. It was meant more as a transition to the following chapters... I use Mace for giving some background information and I just wanted to include the way the Council reacted to Qui-Gon's actions and that the political situation is complicated.

Jedi Knight 13: Yes, the meeting with his mother will certainly affect Anakin... Whether that is good or bad... hmm.

Nicho: Yes, Anakin and Qui-Gon are much alike. It can lead to a better understanding between Master and Padawan - but it could also get them into dangerous situations, of course, if they just live in the moment it can lead to recklessness.

Star Wars for life: Oh, I wouldn't put too much trust into the senate... Poor Mace, indeed. Thanks for reviewing ;-)

Anaya: I'm sorry, there is no scene how the Council "debrieves" Qui-Gon... well, you can imagine the usual scenario, lol: Everyone (especially Mace) tells him that he mustn't disobey the Jedi Code and that attachment and family and and and leads to the dark side of the Force.

yalila: Yes, the stone-idea is nice, isn't it? I had planned something else for them but... I'll keep the stone-thing in mind. Maybe I'll find a way how to include it.

* * *

Every few years, the Jedi Temple arranged a tournament for the apprentices. Even Jedi were allowed to have a bit of fun sometimes. Of course, the tournaments were also to improve the apprentices' abilities and for the Masters to see how the apprentices fared. Many Masters and Padawans had returned to the Temple for that event. So had Qui-Gon and Anakin. 

Anakin looked forward to seeing his old friends again. He and Qui-Gon had been continuously on missions, and Anakin had not seen many of his friends for years. Needless to say that he would enjoy a bit of rest in the Jedi Temple.

But things had changed. Anakin could not tell whether it was him who had changed, or everyone else. Probably both. There were so many young apprentices whom he did not know but who knew him. The older apprentices scrambled for sparring with him. And everyone asked him silly questions:

"Are you the Chosen One?"

"Have you already killed many dark Jedi?"

"When will you be knighted?"

"Can I come with you when you bring balance to the Force?"

One youngling even asked him, "Can I become your Padawan later?"

No one really bothered that he was only sixteen. When he told them, they were surprised. "You're already sixteen?" And then, of course, the always recurring question, "But why is your braid so short?"

That's why Anakin chose to stay in his room or meditate with Qui-Gon. The next day was better. He met several of his old classmates in the Combat Chamber during his morning exercise. They behaved still relatively normal towards him.

"Hello, Chosen One!" Siri addressed him.

Anakin winced and gritted his teeth. "Have you forgotten my name, Siri?"

"Hey, I was joking," she said cheerfully. "What happened to you? Have you suddenly become a solemn and serious Jedi Master? Oh, they probably appointed you on the Council, right?"

Anakin grinned. He was relieved Siri took things so lightly. "Are you challenging me to a duel, or what is that nonsense about?"

"Maybe," she said haughtily and ignited her lightsaber. "Then let's see what you have learned, Chosen One."

"And by the way, Master Yoda is certainly not _solemn_ and _serious_." With that, Anakin attacked. Siri had improved her lightsaber skills a lot since they had last fought - some three years ago. Anakin had heard that Adi Gallia had become Siri's Master but he had never had the chance to congratulate Siri on it. They fought for almost half an hour until Anakin could win.

"Good job," he told her appreciatively.

Siri panted heavily"You weren't too bad either, Chosen One."

People had gathered to watch the fight and now they were applauding. Anakin recognised Bruck among the audience and waved enthusiastically. "Hey, Bruck, it's good to see you again."

"Hi Anakin."

"How are things going? I haven't heard from you for ages."

"I'm fine. And you?"

"Great. It's good to be back. Shall we fight a little duel?"

"Uh, no, thanks."

"Why not?"

"I, um, hurt my leg on my last mission and I want have to treat it with care because of the tournament. How about Oafy-Wan?"

"You're still calling him that?" Anakin had to laugh. Suddenly everything seemed to be back to normal.

"He's over there." Bruck indicated a lone figure who was practising katas.

Anakin was immediately intrigued. Obi-Wan was using the dignified Dooku-style! Amazed, Anakin watched him do some more anachronistic stabbing moves until someone urged Anakin forward.

"Come on, we want to see your rematch!"

Anakin did not even know the boy who was shoving him forward but Bruck and Siri were telling him to fight now too. Anakin, however, was a bit hesitant. He had not seen Obi-Wan since the _incident_ and he was not sure if Obi-Wan still held a grudge against him. He would have liked to avoid an encounter between them but the rational part in him told him he could not avoid it forever. Especially as Qui-Gon had hinted he wished to go on a mission with his former Master again. Meanwhile, everyone was ushering him forward and he could not back away anymore. It would have looked as if he was afraid of losing against Obi-Wan. Besides, Anakin was curious to see Obi-Wan using the Dooku-style in a fight.

ooooooo

Obi-Wan had tried to avoid the crowd who was gathering around Anakin and Siri, cheering for their _Chosen One_. He felt a bit self-conscious practising the unusual sword form in front of everyone. But he badly needed the extra training if he did not want to fail during the next mission as he had done on the last one. Things went well enough at first. Soon, however, he heard the well-known voice of Bruck Chun.

"Heh, Oafy-Wan! Here's someone who wants to fight against you!"

Obi-Wan stopped dead in his katas, turned around and faced the former Bear Clan. He sighed inwardly. It was not difficult to guess who wanted to fight against him. Anakin had grown over the years they had not seen each other. He was taller now than Obi-Wan. _Great. And now my last advantage over him is gone too._ Naturally, Obi-Wan did not want to fight. He had the feeling that his lightsaber skills decreased day after day. The more Dooku taught him, the more confused got his skills. Master Dooku had a very special technique hardly anyone else still used. That technique was very different from what Obi-Wan had learned during his Temple training. So he had to start from the very first step again and he had not reached a level yet that he could fight a duel - least of all against Anakin. He still could do the technique he had learned in the Temple - but the others had had the chance to improve their skills. Obi-Wan's Master did not allow him to use that technique anymore.

But Obi-Wan did not have a choice. He could not back away anymore with everyone staring expectantly at him. It would have looked as if he was afraid of fighting against Anakin. Okay, he _was_ afraid. But he certainly would not show anyone.

"Hello Anakin," he said calmly. "Do you need a pause after your last duel against Siri or can we start right now?"

"Let's start right now," Anakin replied.

_And let's get it over quickly_, Obi-Wan added in thought. They bowed, ignited their lightsabers and waited for Bruck to give the starting signal. Anakin's first attack caught Obi-Wan already off balance. Parrying it clumsily, Obi-Wan swore under his breath. Anakin had become incredulously good during the last three years. Or maybe Obi-Wan had simply become so utterly lousy. The duel was awkward at first. It was ironic, but Obi-Wan's unskilful fighting style prevented Anakin from showing his full potential. Once, Obi-Wan almost hit Anakin's shoulder. _Almost_. Next moment, he was Force-pushed backwards so that the air was knocked out of him. The audience gasped when his back met the wall in a loud - and painful - thud. Then they erupted into applause and chorused Anakin's name.

"You okay?" Anakin asked, a tad worried.

"I'm fine," Obi-Wan snarled, got on his feet again, stretched his aching body and held up his lightsaber again, ready to parry the next blow. They encircled each other, no one making the first move. Obi-Wan deked a slash at Anakin's knees and somersaulted above him (which was not the cleverest idea because his back still hurt from its crash with the wall) to attack from behind. Anakin, however, had sensed his tactic early enough and met his blade when Obi-Wan had not even landed on the ground yet. The audience were beside themselves with excitement. Obi-Wan staggered backwards and attempted to use the new move Dooku had taught him last week. It went thoroughly wrong. Before he could think clearly, Obi-Wan found himself lying at Anakin's feet.

"Huh, what was that?" Anakin said, clearly amused.

The audience laughed. Anakin swung his lightsaber for the winning strike but Obi-Wan crawled out of reach at the last moment. The audience laughed even more loudly. _Sithhell, I must look so stupid..._ He got on his feet again and met Anakin's next strike. Anakin drove him backwards, his lightsaber incredibly fast. Obi-Wan could only clumsily parry the fierce blows. There was nothing he could do to counter Anakin. He felt as if his fingers were all thumbs. Automatically, he reverted to his old technique. But now Anakin became _really_ good. He was invincible. Obi-Wan's old moves were extremely slow and faulty. Once again, he tried a stab at Anakin's shoulder but the movement had been too predictable because it did not incorporate at all in the usually swift movements. _Great, I'm not only a complete failure to my Master's teachings, but I also can't even use the old technique anymore. That's younglings' level, Oafy-Wan. Just pray to the Force you never get into a dangerous situation without your Master at your side, or else you're going to be bantha-fodder in a millisecond. _The rest of the duel was pure torture. The audience laughed at Obi-Wan and cheered for Anakin. Obi-Wan was utterly relieved when Anakin finally disarmed him and he was flying through half the room, landing painfully on his knees.

"That's it," he panted and added a reluctant, "Congratulations." Hastily, he grabbed his lightsaber with the Force and left the Combat Chamber hurriedly.

"Hey, wait!" Anakin caught up with him and, immediately, Obi-Wan increased his pace. "You didn't even give me the time to tell you that you fought well."

"Haha," Obi-Wan said morosely. "I fought anything but _well_."

"Okay, you fought in a very... unusual style," Anakin conceded.

"I didn't fight in any style at all," Obi-Wan contradicted him, still walking along the corridor in long strides. "I just had a glowing thing in my hand and put it in your way when your lightsaber threatened to slice me to pieces."

"Anyway, I saw you use some of Dooku's fighting techniques and, well, I wanted to ask you if you, um, could show me some moves or anything."

"Just stop making fun of me -"

"I'm not making -"

"You can save yourself the effort!"

"Which effort? I didn't –"

"I know very well what you mean to say!"

"I didn't mean to –"

"And I don't want your pity!"

"Whoa, Obi-Wan, what the -!" Anakin grabbed his tunic and turned him around, forcing him to face Anakin. "Why are you always so angry?" Anakin asked him. "This is not about pity. And anyway, you couldn't stop me to pity you. Either I pity you or I don't. But it doesn't change just because you don't _want_ pity. And what is so horrible about pity? Aren't the Jedi taught to be compassionate? But as I said, this is not about pity. So, will you teach me some of the lightsaber techniques? Just say yes or no."

"That depends."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "That was not a yes or a no."

"Is this an interrogation, or what? I can answer as I wish." Obi-Wan was still angry at Anakin, particularly because Anakin looked neither sweaty nor exhausted from his _two_ duels. But the fact that he was smiling openly at Obi-Wan and seemed to be utterly sincere with his request made it difficult to be permanently angry at him.

"Okay. Depends on what?" Anakin asked playfully.

_Just like old times. He never takes anything or anyone seriously_. "If it's possible to train somewhere without your fan club cheering at every move you make, then yes, maybe," Obi-Wan agreed reluctantly.

"Fan club," Anakin repeated and gave Obi-Wan a little punch in his side. "It's not my fault they're following me around and watch my lightsaber training."

"Well, you don't have to fight so bloody amazingly all the time, for example."

"Wow, was that a compliment? Thanks!" Anakin grinned broadly at him.

Obi-Wan grimaced. "It was not a compliment, it was simply a suggestion on how you could get rid of your fan club."

"You're not making sense, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You just told me you didn't want pity. I know you'd _kill_ me if I ever lost against you on purpose."

"Okay, okay, you win the argument," Obi-Wan had to concede. "Let's get in there." He opened the door to an empty classroom. "That is, if you still want to train. Or have you already changed your opinion?"

"No. I still want to train."

They shoved the tables and chairs aside to have room to practise.

"Did you mean it when you said that I fight well?" Anakin asked unexpectedly.

Obi-Wan was completely caught off guard by that question. "What?" he said incredulously.

"Well, you... you told me I should stop to fight so well because...you know."

"Yes?"

"Yes. You said that. So, did you mean it?"

"Why are you asking that?"

"Sithhell, Obi-Wan, probably because I want an answer?!"

Anakin was clearly annoyed now, but Obi-Wan was just as annoyed. "Stars End, just how arrogant can you get? Isn't it enough to have your fan club and all the Masters tell you thousand times a day what an amazing swordsman and Jedi you are? What do you want me to do? Fall on my knees, beg for an autograph or a training match with you?"

Anakin smashed the table he was shoving aside, unnecessarily hard into the other tables. "Shall we start?" he said grimly.

"Oh, suddenly? Don't you want to hear more compliments?"

"I got my answer," Anakin said bitterly. "Can we start now?"

Obi-Wan was annoyed and thoroughly confused by Anakin's behaviour. Anakin was not making sense at all. Obi-Wan did not feel like training with him anymore. "Just what do you want?"

"Let's just start!" Anakin ignited his lightsaber and Obi-Wan involuntarily backed away. He was suddenly afraid Anakin could really attack him. Here were no witnesses and Obi-Wan did not stand a chance against Anakin. He decided it was better not to do anything that further enraged Anakin. He still remembered very well when Anakin had almost drowned him and he did not want something like that to ever happen again.

"Okay," he said uncertainly. "Erm... let's start with one of the basic forms. Your starting position is like this," Obi-Wan showed him, "and then it's stab, parry, two steps forward, stab, parry, two steps backward, and so on."

Anakin watched Obi-Wan perform the form a few times and then he tried to do it as well. Obi-Wan examined his movements critically. Something was wrong. Of course, he had forgotten to show Anakin how to grip the lightsaber hilt! "Wait a moment," Obi-Wan stopped Anakin's exercises. "I forgot to tell you..." He walked over to him. "Here, you need to grip the lightsaber in a different way. It's because the stabs are more forwards and backwards and not these swishing movements at your side."

"Okay." Straining himself, Anakin changed his grip on his lightsaber hilt and did the form again. "That feels strange."

"That's no wonder," Obi-Wan remarked. "You're all tensed. If you grab your lightsaber that tightly, it's never going to work." Obi-Wan corrected Anakin's grip again.

"How can I ever fight like that?" Anakin complained. "It's completely crazy. Couldn't I just hold the lightsaber as I always do?"

"Do you want to become a good swordsman or not?" Obi-Wan retorted.

"Uh." Anakin threw him a surprised glance. "You're a strict teacher."

Obi-Wan shrugged, smiling slightly. "Well, Master Dooku told me that when I complained once."

"Oh dear, that's a hard thing to say. True, of course, but still... I bet you never complained again afterwards, did you?"

"No, of course I didn't. Because he's right. Try again now." Obi-Wan watched Anakin do it again. He could not help but grin a little bit. It was the first time he saw Anakin Skywalker look not graceful while performing a lightsaber form. But Obi-Wan had to admit he tried very hard and learned quickly. "That was better," he said. "Now we can do it together. I parry your stabs and you parry my stabs. It's the same movement again and again."

They did that for a very long time: Parry, stab, moving backwards, parry, stab moving forwards, parry, stab... Obi-Wan knew it was a boring thing to practise but it was the most basic movement you needed to know if you wanted to be able to fight in that style.

"Okay, enough of that," Obi-Wan said when he noticed Anakin was getting bored because he could do it well enough. Not perfectly yet, but well enough to teach him something else which was more interesting. "Here's another basic form. It's quite simple actually when you understand how to do that twist with your ankle, and then it looks pretty impressive."

"Impressive-looking?" Anakin grinned. "Sounds good. Then I can pretend I can fight real Dooku-style."

"As long as your spectators have no idea how it's supposed to look... Okay, are you ready?"

Anakin had problems doing the "impressive-looking-twist" as they had agreed to call it. Obi-Wan could understand that well enough. He remembered how terrible he had been (and most of the time he still was terrible) during his first lightsaber lessons.

"That feels odd," Anakin panted, trying very hard but failing again. "My arms always want to slash down, no matter what my brain tells them to do."

"Yeah, that's the problem. At the beginning it feels completely unnatural because you're used to other ways of fighting. It's as if you should suddenly shake your head if you mean 'yes' and nod if you mean 'no'. Master Dooku told me to forget everything I had learned so far. It's a bit frustrating if you've put all your efforts in your lightsaber skills for so many years and then you have to forget it."

"I can believe that. I think it's too late for me now. I cannot forget anymore. It's all... all the moves are inside me."

"Did you ever have lightsaber classes with Master Antana?"

"Only very rarely when Master Yoda had an important Council meeting. We were always glad when we had Yoda back."

"Master Antana taught the Wookie Clan and she teaches lightsaber techniques with the aim that you never forget the things you learn because your body performs the moves automatically."

"Oh no!" Anakin laughed but looked sympathetically at Obi-Wan. "And? How are you getting rid of Antana's indoctrinations?"

"Not very well yet." Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "I even managed to shatter Master Dooku's patience a few times and get him desperate. And that says a lot. Normally he's over-patient. He's so patient it can make you crazy sometimes. Speaking of patience, why aren't you practising anymore?"

"Ah, the thing is, are you sure it is safe? It feels like that twist is going to break my arm."

"Well, my arm's still there," Obi-Wan said, amused. "It's just your ankle - not the whole arm - which does the movement."

"I'm not a Teevan." Anakin tried it again a few times. "I don't get it. Why does it work when you do it?"

"Maybe because I've been practising it for more than three years... Give me your hand." Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin's lightsaber hand and directed his movements.

"Ah, I understand!" Anakin said enthusiastically. "Man, that's easy!"

"Well, I told you so. Now try to do it alone."

After several more failed attempts, Anakin did it. "Hey, did you see that? I did it!"

Obi-Wan laughed at Anakin's enthusiasm. "That was almost perfect. Now you only have to try to have an impressive expression on your face. You shouldn't look as if it's hard work or anything."

"You mean I should look as if it's _far_ beneath my usual standard? That's the most difficult part then, I guess."

"Yeah. Can you do it again?"

"Sure." Of course, Anakin could _not_ simply do it again. He needed twelve more attempts to succeed. But then he got it and did it right again and again.

"Great!" Obi-Wan said, satisfied. "Now you probably wonder what it's for aside from looking impressive. You can easily attack someone who does a backflip with it. Could you do a backflip now?"

"Okay." Anakin backflipped and Obi-Wan disarmed him. "Ah!" Anakin jumped on his feet again and stared at his empty hand. "That was amazing! Where's my lightsaber? I didn't see what you did because I was upside-down at that moment but it was cool all the same."

Obi-Wan tossed him his lightsaber back, which he had caught. "Do a backflip again and try not to pay attention to your lightsaber but to my movements. Then you probably understand how to do it. I don't really know how else to show you how to do it."

"Okay, one more backflip." Again, Obi-Wan disarmed him. This time Anakin had not seen it because his foot had been in the way. After seventeen more backflips, Anakin was completely dizzy and swayed through the room as if he was drunk.

Giggling, Obi-Wan stopped him. "I think we'd better have a little break."

"Great idea..." Anakin lay down on the floor and put his arm over his eyes. "I wonder if it's only me or only my eyes or the whole room that is spinning," he mumbled. "I think it's in my head... One more backflip and I would have puked."

"Please don't."

Anakin chuckled. "Nah... I think it's getting better. But I'd better not open my eyes too soon."

Obi-Wan sighed inwardly. Sometimes he wished he could be like Anakin: That he could take things more lightly and laugh about his own mistakes instead of letting them get him down.

ooooooo

Anakin felt good. Although his head was still spinning and he was exhausted from the hard training, he was satisfied with this day's events. He kept his eyes closed and let his body regain energy.

"We must sign up in teams of two for the tournament," Anakin said. "Bruck and Siri have signed up as a team and I don't have a partner yet. So I wanted to ask you if we could maybe take part in it together." Anakin waited nervously for an answer. Obi-Wan was silent for a very long time and Anakin did not dare to open his eyes in order to look Obi-Wan in the face. Maybe he should not have made it sound as if Anakin would have preferred to team up with Siri or Bruck and as if Obi-Wan was his last option. "Or do you already have a partner?" Anakin continued. "And if you'd rather team up with one of your friends that's perfectly okay, of course. I just, well... wanted to ask."

"I won't take part in the tournament," Obi-Wan said finally.

"Oh. I didn't know that. I assumed... Why won't you take part in it?"

"Master Dooku, um... and I have to go on a mission again."

"That's a pity," Anakin said sympathetically. "Where are you going?"

"Dunno. I forgot the name. It's something I can't even pronounce."

"Master Qui-Gon says he misses his former Master and he wants to work together with Master Dooku again. I bet I will still accompany Qui-Gon on missions too when I'll be a Jedi Knight. I could never imagine going on a mission without him. And one day, when we have our own Padawans too, we'll be six Jedi who go on missions together. And then, our Padawans take Padawans too and we take the next Padawan and so on and so on. It's bound to get out of hands eventually, isn't it?"

"Well, people tend to die at a certain age and not every Padawan has such a strong bond towards their Master as you or Qui-Gon."

Anakin opened his eyes and sat up. "So what about you and Master Dooku? Do you have a strong bond?"

"It's okay," Obi-Wan answered much too quickly for Anakin's liking. "He's a great Jedi Master and I'm really thankful to be his apprentice. Shall we continue with the training?"

"Yes, I'd like to. Do I have to do backflips again?"

"Ah, well... That was not such a good idea, I guess." Obi-Wan grinned sheepishly. "Master Dooku taught me how to use the impressive-looking-twist just by explaining it in theory and I needed hours to understand what he meant. So I thought it would help if I showed it to you but, well... I suppose I'm not a very great lightsaber teacher yet. Whatever. Maybe I could explain it like this." When Obi-Wan used his fingers to illustrate the complicated moves to Anakin, Anakin thought that Obi-Wan actually _was_ a good teacher, and he was sure Obi-Wan would make a great Master one day. But Anakin kept that to himself. He feared Obi-Wan might interpret it as a sign of pity or mocking again.

They practised for hours and took it in turns to backflip. Anakin even persuaded Obi-Wan to teach him still another stunt, which was even more complicated. But if Anakin really wanted to achieve something, he could be extremely ambitious. None of them realised how time flied. They were both surprised when Dooku entered the classroom, measuring them with a very strict glance.

"Padawan, may I remind you that you missed your afternoon lesson?" he addressed Obi-Wan. "And you are late for our evening meditation too."

"I'm sorry, Master," Obi-Wan said and bowed obediently.

"We will catch up on the training this evening," Dooku said authoritatively, "and afterwards you will study rules 21 to 35 of the Jedi Code again and meditate on it."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan replied.

"It's not Obi-Wan's fault," Anakin spoke up. He did not want Obi-Wan to get into trouble because of him. "I asked him to show me some of his lightsaber techniques and we completely lost track of time while practising."

"That is no excuse, Padawan Skywalker," Dooku told him sternly. "A Jedi must always know where and when he is and what he is doing. He must not be distracted because he is, for example, enjoying his training. Obi-Wan, I think you should repeat rules 6 and 7 too."

Obi-Wan nodded dutifully.

_Sithhell, I'd better keep my mouth shut..._ Anakin threw Obi-Wan an apologetic glance but Obi-Wan just smiled at him as if he was not really bothered by that amount of extra work.

"And Padawan Skywalker, I advise you to repeat those rules as well. It might be helpful."

"Yes, Master Dooku," Anakin replied politely. He had no idea what rules 6 and 7 were about. He _really_ should study them perhaps.

"Well, Padawan," Master Dooku turned to Obi-Wan again, "I'm afraid you will not be able to take part in the tournament as the Council has just given us a new assignment."

"Alright," Obi-Wan said slowly, avoiding Anakin's eyes. "When are we leaving?"

"We are leaving the Temple tomorrow. We are going to Aar."

_Aar_. That was not very difficult to pronounce. Anakin could not help but feel a tad disappointed because Obi-Wan had lied to him. Could he not have just told Anakin the truth? He would have accepted that, of course. Things had seemed to go so well when they had trained together... Was Obi-Wan afraid of him? Was he afraid to take part in the tournament together with Anakin? Or was he afraid of Anakin's reaction when he told him that he did not want to team up with Anakin?

"Sorry for lying," Obi-Wan said softly.

"That's alright. I...understand," Anakin muttered.

"See, I wouldn't want to hinder you," Obi-Wan said.

"You wouldn't have." Anakin crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at Obi-Wan at last. "Anyway, thanks for practising with me today."

"You're welcome." Obi-Wan smiled uncertainly at him.

"And how did you fare with that lightsaber technique, Padawan Skywalker?" Master Dooku asked him.

"Uh, it was really interesting but of course I'm not an expert at all, so I can't really say if I was good or bad." Anakin looked at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan shrugged casually. "He was terrible, of course," he told Dooku. "But considering it was his first attempt at a new style, I'd say it was quite...impressive." He smirked at Anakin.

Anakin grinned back. "Good luck on your mission. And may the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you too."


	10. Naboo

**Author's Note: **I've now decided I definitely want to include slash in this story (though not in this chapter yet). I know there are some of you who do not approve of that and I'm sorry for that but I think you could read this fanfic nonetheless and just skip the slashy parts if you do not like them. I mean, you can still read it as an adventure/sci-fi/drama/mystery/friendship story and ignore the slash - I'll always give a warning at a beginning of a chapter if slash is ahead ;-) The rating will stay T, I don't plan to write extremely explicit sex-scenes...

Thank you again for reviewing!!!

Star Wars for life: Yeah, Obi-Wan is a great teacher, isn't he? Even as an apprentice ;-)

arzum: Yes, Anakin definitely would like to be friends with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is just too stubborn to realise it...

Soul of a Young Man: Well, if you want to interpret slash in it... yeah, maybe... I didn't intend to imply slash but, hey, why not?

Jedi Knight 13: Anakin indeed has respect for Obi-Wan. He has matured a bit and Qui-Gon has taught him respect...

Nimloth4th: You'll see more of the relationship between Dooku and Obi-Wan in this chapter. Can't say much more now ;-)

Anaya: I'm glad you liked the interaction between the two boys. Both of them have matured...a little bit at least.

yalila: Strict and cold hearted Master? Hmm. Read this chapter to find out more... And, ah, don't get too angry ;-)

Doggie3388: Thanks a lot for reviewing! Thanks also for the many, many reviews you sent me for my other story! That's really nice of you!

* * *

Master Windu was pacing the long corridors of the Jedi Temple. A deep frown was engraved between his brows. The last days had not been good ones. Qui-Gon and Dooku had insisted to go on a mission together again. The Council could hardly refuse Dooku's wish, as Dooku was a respected Council member. But Mace felt deep worry when he remembered the last two missions Qui-Gon and Dooku along with their Padawans had had together. The first one had been when they had both just taken their Padawans. Something grave had happened with Padawan Skywalker then. Mace suspected that he had shown signs of the dark side but Yoda would not tell him. Then, of course, Qui-Gon had decided to - once again - completely ignore the Council and bring his Padawan to Tatooine - to see his _mother_. Irresponsible, really irresponsible. Mace respected Qui-Gon very much but that went decidedly too far! Even Master Dooku had not agreed with his former Padawan, whom he normally defended. If Dooku had not been on the Council, Qui-Gon would have been banned from the Jedi Order already a long time ago.

Their next mission had been two years ago. Dooku and Qui-Gon had had a disagreement about some Jedi rules or whatever. They were both very independent and idealistic men and they both had their mind set on how to interpret the Jedi Code. They were bound to clash with each other. As were their Padawans. Mace had seen it from the very beginning but no one had listened to his worries. There had always been bickering and rivalry between Skywalker and Kenobi and no matter what everyone - except for Mace - had said: It had _not _proved to be the normal childish behaviour. It had _not_ disappeared over the years. Kenobi was a terribly impatient boy and, worse, there was still much anger in him. Dooku had said his Padawan had learned (at least a little) patience. Qui-Gon was sure Kenobi would learn to overcome his anger eventually. What a naive optimist! And even if he was right - it was still a danger to Skywalker, to the _Chosen One_. It was of the utmost importance that Skywalker developed a stable personality if he was to bring balance to the Force. Letting him go on missions with Qui-Gon, Dooku and Kenobi was like throwing him to the lions.

Mace silently referred to them as the "Rebel Alliance". They were always a threat to the long traditions and foundations of the Jedi Order. Recently, Dooku had started with a new whim. He questioned the Jedi Order and, worse, the Republic and democracy in general, and he had dubious new ideas concerning the political order.

Mace Windu was very worried, indeed. And now they were off again on a secret mission to Naboo where they should negotiate because of a blockade by the Trade Federation. That all of it happened in top-secret and was staged by Chancellor Valorum without the vote of the Senate, was deeply troubling. Reluctantly, Mace had to admit some of Dooku's prejudices concerning the corruptness and incapability of today's politics seemed to be justified.

Sadly, Mace gazed out of a panoramic window where the Coruscanti suns set behind the impressive skyline. _Is this the end? Are we approaching the end of the Jedi Order, of the Republic and democracy?_

ooooooo

Anakin was not happy with the situation at all. The negotiations to stop the Naboo blockade had not taken place, instead they had been attacked by battle droids and droidekas. They had managed to escape but now they stood ankle-deep in a swamp and his Master and Master Dooku had got into a fight because of some creature with long floppy ears Qui-Gon had accidentally saved. The creature had - more or less - offered to help them and bring them to an underwater city its people lived. Dooku was against it because he did not trust the creature. He had let words slip like "cowardice" and "dumb", and that had enraged Qui-Gon and here they were: They stood at the bank of a lake between the trees, debating and debating (and mostly disagreeing) what to do. Anakin and Obi-Wan stood next to them and tried not to look too disinterested by their rather pointless argument. Anakin and Obi-Wan had already had a heated discussion in the morning on their journey to Naboo. It had been mostly about what it meant to be a Jedi Knight. Anakin had hinted that he wanted to be knighted soon and Obi-Wan thought (though he had not said it directly) Anakin was arrogant again because of that. Anakin heaved a deep sigh. He thought Naboo was a nice place. It _could _be a nice place, were it not for bickering Masters and battle droids. He wished he could just sit down here and meditate or maybe go swimming. He liked this place. It was full of life and had a peaceful aura.

"What is your name, anyway?" Anakin asked the Gungan creature, making conversation.

"Mesa Jar Jar Binks," he (Anakin assumed he was a "he") answered enthusiastically.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Anakin Skywalker."

"Yousa Jedi too? Mesa sooo happy to see you."

Anakin smiled. It seemed Jar Jar was the only normal person around, with whom you could talk and who was polite. "I'm pleased to meet you too. Why were you banished from the city?"

"Tis a long tale, buta small part wawdabe mesa...ooooh...aaaa...clumsy." Jar Jar blinked apologetically at Anakin.

"You were banished simply because you're clumsy? That's a hard decision," Anakin said sympathetically. "Hey, you could found a club with Oafy-Wan. He used to be clumsy too but he was lucky. The Jedi Order is not as strict as your people with clumsy ones." Anakin gave Obi-Wan a friendly punch in the side. Obi-Wan punched him back and complained a bit, and so it went on and on, until Qui-Gon stopped them.

"Padawans, will you please stop that childish behaviour? We're having a serious discussion."

Anakin rolled his eyes. Typical Master-behaviour. Obi-Wan and he had not seriously argued. Really, what else could you do when your Masters were engaged in such a _serious discussion_. Finally, the Masters agreed to go with Jar Jar Binks (honestly, what else could they have done? Camped here in the swamplands?). Still a bit peeved that he had lost the argument, Dooku put on his rebreather and went into the lake. Jar Jar did a great header and the others followed. Being underwater felt good. It was peaceful and quiet. Water plants swayed in a gentle rhythm. The water's coolness refreshed Anakin's senses. He could not resist doing a backward roll between a shoal of little glow-fishes. When he was upside-down and was looking back, he could not see Obi-Wan anywhere. Anakin managed to draw Qui-Gon's attention to him via their training bond. Anakin gestured behind him and Qui-Gon seemed to understand. He grabbed Dooku's cloak and one of Jar Jar's long ears and indicated them to swim back. They were checking the area around them but there was no trace of Obi-Wan. Dooku raised his hand and they went up. Obi-Wan stood knee-deep in the water, twisting his rebreather in his hands and looking slightly sick.

"Padawan?" Dooku, who had already taken off his rebreather, frowned very hard. "Is there something wrong? Does your rebreather not work?"

"No, I think it's out of order," Obi-Wan said quietly.

"Take mine. I suppose I can do it without a rebreather if I use the Force." Dooku offered Obi-Wan his rebreather but Obi-Wan refused.

"No, thank you, Master, I can just stay here," he said nervously.

And suddenly, Anakin understood what it was all about. _Oh shit, this is not good._ "Yes, that's a good idea," he quickly came to Obi-Wan's aid. "Someone should stay here. He can warn us if someone comes. We wouldn't want the battle droids to discover the Gungan city, would we?"

Dooku nodded slowly but Qui-Gon seemed to have noticed something was wrong with Obi-Wan. "You don't look very well, Padawan Kenobi," he said concerned. "Are you feeling alright?" If Qui-Gon had not been his Master, Anakin would have kicked at his shin for not shutting up.

"I'm alright, thank you, Master Jinn," Obi-Wan said quickly. _Too_ quickly.

"Padawan, what is it?" Dooku asked sternly.

"It's nothing, Master. I-I just feel a bit dizzy, it's probably the air here and the swamps..."

"Padawan, I'm warning you," Dooku said in a low but still perfectly calm voice. "You must not lie to your Master."

Obi-Wan's hands clenched and unclenched. "Couldn't I just stay here? It's really nothing serious."

"Oh yes, I think it is," Dooku contradicted him, "if you feel you have to lie because of it." He approached Obi-Wan. "And now tell me. And look at me when you speak to me."

"I just can't," Obi-Wan said in a trembling voice. "I'm sorry, Master."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"I can't dive," Obi-Wan said quietly, staring down at the water.

"_Look at me_, Padawan," Dooku said somewhat impatiently. Obi-Wan defiantly looked up. "Now, I still don't understand. Did you not learn how to dive during Temple training?"

"Yes, I did..."

"But?"

"I can't do it. Please, Master," Obi-Wan pleaded. "Can't I just stay here?"

"Where's the big problem?" Anakin intervened again. "I think someone absolutely should stay here and stand guard if something unexpected happens."

Dooku looked sharply at him. "Alright. Someone will stay here. You will do that, Padawan Skywalker. Obi-Wan, you're coming with us."

"No," Obi-Wan begged. "Please."

"Yes. You will come and you will dive."

"But -"

"I said you will come with us!" Dooku's voice had risen. Anakin had never before heard him raise his voice. "And now you tell me what's wrong with you!"

"I'm afraid of water, okay?" Obi-Wan said defiantly and Anakin knew he was close to tears now.

"And what does the Jedi Code teach about fear?" Dooku lectured him.

"It says a Jedi must not know fear," Obi-Wan recited quietly, his lips quivering. "A Jedi must not let his fear control him. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side. A Jedi must let go of his fear."

"Correct," Dooku stated authoritatively. "Then why do you let your fear control you?"

"I-I'm trying to let it go but it doesn't work," Obi-Wan said embarrassedly.

"Were you not taught that there is no trying? You must _do_ it, you must let go. Trying to let go is not enough. Put your rebreather on."

"I... I _can't_, Master," Obi-Wan protested weakly.

"I said _put your rebreather on,_" Dooku said, clearly annoyed by now. Obi-Wan just silently shook his head. "Padawan," Dooku warned him. "We are not going through this exercise again. You will do as I say."

"I'm sorry, Master," Obi-Wan whispered, clutching the rebreather in his trembling fingers.

"There's nothing dangerous about water. Your fear is irrational. Just hold your breath and get your head underwater for a few seconds."

"No."

"Do it now."

Obi-Wan shook his head again and backed away a few steps.

"Padawan! Will you get underwater immediately!"

"Dooku, maybe we should really -" Qui-Gon tried to reason but Dooku interrupted him.

"Don't you tell me how to train my Padawan!" he shouted angrily. "This is my decision! If he cannot overcome his fears he cannot be a Jedi! Now, do you want to be a Jedi? Yes or no?"

"Of course I want to -"

"Then do it!" Dooku roared. Anakin watched in horror when Dooku grabbed Obi-Wan's head in his hands and pushed him underwater. Obi-Wan struggled in panic but he could not do anything against Dooku's strength. Dooku just grabbed his head more tightly and pushed him still deeper.

That was when Anakin had enough of it. He lunged forward, grabbed Dooku and hauled him away from Obi-Wan. "Let him go!" Anakin yelled desperately. "Don't you see he's afraid?!"

"Yes, I see that very well!" Dooku yelled back. "And I want to help him overcome his fear!"

"Yeah, you're a great help!"

"Don't you talk to me like that! Who do you think you are? You may be the Chosen One but you are still a Padawan and I am a Master!"

While Dooku continued lecturing Anakin at the top of his voice about fear, the Jedi Code, how Padawans must behave towards a Master, and practically everything else, Qui-Gon was helping Obi-Wan, who was spluttering and whimpering, get out of the water and tried to calm him down as he was close to hyperventilating.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dooku directed his rage against Obi-Wan again. "Fear is not befitting of a Jedi!"

"And so is anger," Qui-Gon told Dooku calmly, putting his hands on Obi-Wan's shaking shoulders.

"He must learn to let go of his fear," Dooku insisted but he was already a bit calmer.

"And he will learn to let go," Qui-Gon said firmly, "but not like this." He stood up and walked over to Anakin and Dooku, who still glared furiously at each other. "Dooku, I think the two of us should go now. There's still a mission we have to complete and then we need to discuss something in private."

"Let the Padawans do the mission. If you so badly want to discuss something with me, we can do it right here."

"The Padawans will stay here," Qui-Gon insisted.

For a moment, the two men fought a battle with the eyes. "Do not forget that I am a Council member," Dooku said in an almost menacing voice. "You have to pay attention to my lead."

"Anakin is my Padawan and he will follow my instructions," Qui-Gon contradicted him.

"And Obi-Wan is _my _Padawan and he will follow _my _instructions."

There was utter silence for a moment. Only the drops from their wet clothes which dripped into the water could be heard. The Force between the two Masters seemed to be supercharged. The tension was palpable.

"I don't follow the instructions of anyone," Anakin said finally. Both Masters turned to look at him. He shifted a bit uncomfortably with his boots in the water. "I was taught to follow the will of the Force and that's what I do," he continued boldly. "And the Force tells me to stay here with Obi-Wan." He was not exactly sure if that was really the will of the Force but he felt he should support Obi-Wan now and that was enough for the moment.

"That is ridiculous!" Dooku snapped. "You cannot just do what you like and say it is the will of the Force to justify it!"

"I am the Chosen One, so I should know, right?" Anakin said haughtily. He had never used this advantage of his before. It was something he would have liked to prevent. It was not the Jedi way: using your status in order to get what you want. But this was an extreme case, Anakin told himself.

"That is impudence!" Dooku said, outraged. "Qui-Gon, did you not teach him anything? I will bring the matter before the Council. There will be consequences for you, Skywalker, I promise you that."

"I know you have problems to admit that you are wrong," Qui-Gon stated. "But it _might_ be that in your anger you do not listen to the will of the Force properly. Let's stop the discussion here for the moment. We have a mission to complete and we should do that. I know just as well as you do that a Jedi must not know fear and that Padawan Kenobi must learn how to cope with his water-problem. But at the moment, it seems impossible. We cannot force him underwater if he hyperventilates as a result. So I suggest the two of us go to Otoh Gunga and when this mission is over and there is more time and less pressure, you can teach your Padawan how to let go of his fear."

Dooku shook his head in frustration but there was nothing he could say against Qui-Gon's reasoning. "Very well then, I agree that we must complete our mission, though I am not happy with the circumstances at all." He shot Obi-Wan a withering glance. "You may stay here for now. But do not think it means you can go on like that. I am very disappointed at your behaviour. I thought better of you but obviously I was thoroughly mistaken. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are a disgrace to the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

When Anakin had been a child, Dooku had been his hero, his favourite swordsman, his idol. That was irrevocably over. Now Anakin despised him and he wanted to cry and rage at the same time. But he did not do it. He would not show his anger to Dooku. He was better than that. "May the Force be with you," he snapped at his Master, though, naturally, nothing of it was Qui-Gon's fault.

"And with you too," Qui-Gon replied. "Come on." He waved Jar Jar Binks at his side. The poor Gungan did not look happy at all with his task. Anakin sympathised greatly with him. He would not want to accompany the two Jedi Masters either, who were so furious with each other.

Finally, the three of them swam away and submerged again. Silence settled. Anakin was still standing knee-deep in the water. He stared at Obi-Wan, who sat at the waterside, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. His eyes were unfocussed and there was still that look of terror in it. A cold chill ran down Anakin's spine when he recognised the look in Obi-Wan's eyes. Now that he could think clearly again, he understood he did not have the right to despise Dooku. What had happened today was not Dooku's fault - it was entirely Anakin's fault. If he had not almost killed Obi-Wan five years ago... nothing of this would have happened. Sadly, Anakin wondered if Obi-Wan had avoided water all those years...


	11. Fighting the Fear

**Author's Note:** Wow, I've never got so many reviews before for one chapter! Thank you so much for your support, comments and suggestions! You are wonderful reviewers :)

This time, I will try to answer all of you at once. I made a list of FAQs ;-)

What is slash? - Fanfic featuring people of the same gender romantically involved (I found that definition on another fanfiction website) - in other words: this fancic includes a homosexual relationship. I think another word for it is "yaoi"... I'm not sure, however... crazy fanfiction-language ;-)

Will the slash be between Anakin and Obi-Wan? - Yes. Dooku and Qui-Gon are too old for them ;-)

How old are Anakin and Obi-Wan in this (and the last) chapter? - Both of them are eighteen years old.

So it means Padmé won't be in this fanfic? - Padmé will definitely be in this fanfic. But she has not nearly such a big part as in the movies. And that's all I can say for now...

* * *

A great wave of relief flooded Obi-Wan when Master Dooku, Master Jinn and the Gungan had finally disappeared. He just hoped Anakin kept his distance. He would have preferred to be alone. Never in his life had he felt so utterly miserable and pathetic. Stupid, clumsy, unworthy, weak, pathetic, cowardice - a _disgrace to the Jedi Order_.

"You're not," Anakin said as if he had read his mind. "A disgrace to the Jedi Order, I mean," he continued. "If there's someone who is a disgrace to the Jedi Order, then it's me. In my opinion, almost killing someone is much, much worse than being afraid of water after you almost got drowned when you were younger. And that's not only my opinion: Everyone who's sane in their mind will agree with that."

It did not comfort Obi-Wan at all. "Just because you did something worse, it doesn't lessen my failure," he said and although he wanted to sound angry, his voice sounded small and whiny.

"True...," Anakin muttered.

Obi-Wan shut his eyes and willed the tears to go away. Why could he not be a better Jedi? He had tried so hard but despite his rebreather and the knowledge no one was going to try and drown him, he had become all hysterical again. He had tried so hard... Yes, _tried_. That was what his Master had said. He had only _tried_ it - not _done_ it. He was not strong enough for _doing_.

"And what about swimming?" Anakin interrupted his dark thoughts.

"What do you mean, _what about swimming_? That's not a proper question, Anakin!" Obi-Wan burst out.

"I-I-I mean if it's only diving that you don't do anymore or if you don't like swimming either," Anakin said hastily.

Obi-Wan looked up at him. Anakin was still standing in the shallow water, his Jedi cloak soaked wet, his shoulders slumped, water from his dishevelled Padawan haircut running down his face. He looked like a half drowned womp rat, and that, somehow, made Obi-Wan answer relatively calmly. "I haven't tried it again since...well."

"Would you like to try?"

"There is no try, you know that."

"I think there is. Trying, in my opinion, is if you want to do something but you cannot be sure if you're strong enough to finish it."

"Great, Anakin Skywalker, absolutely great!" The fact that Anakin looked like a half drowned womp rat did not make him any less arrogant. "The Chosen One speaks, or what?! You know what, I prefer to trust in Master Yoda's or Master Dooku's wisdom."

"Master Dooku -"

"Don't say it's his fault!" Obi-Wan warned him. "Because it's not." _It's my fault...and Master Dooku deserves a better student. One who doesn't hinder him. One who, one day, will be a great Jedi like him. One who is patient, serene, skilful, powerful... one who is like Anakin._

"I know. It's my fault," Anakin said in a small voice.

Obi-Wan had not expected that. "I didn't say it's your fault. It happened five year ago and I should have got over it."

"Yeah, and I should have never done it and Master Dooku should have been more patient and understanding with you and Master Qui-Gon should have been more careful with his Padawan Xanatos and Master Yoda should have punished you when you cut off my braid and the Senate should have intervened and stopped the blockade and the Gungans shouldn't have banished Jar Jar... it's always should, should, should. Shoulds do not help anyone. Sure, you should have done something with your, um, water-problem earlier, you should have spoken to Master Yoda perhaps. You didn't speak to him, did you?"

"No."

"And to Dooku?"

"No."

"You _should_ have, of course, but it doesn't change anything now. Here we are and the fact is, some things didn't happen and some things happened and we have to live with the results now and work on it."

"Okay, that was a nice speech," Obi-Wan said, slightly amused in spite of himself. "And what do you want to tell me by that?"

Anakin grinned a little bit. "What I want to tell you by that is... I mean, the question I want to ask you now is - the question you should ask yourself is - Would you like to try, um, _do_, I mean... Would you like to swim again?"

"Yes, of course."

Anakin smiled encouragingly at him. "Then do it."

Obi-Wan snorted. "You make it sound so easy. You have no idea..."

"I never said it's easy," Anakin defended himself. "But since you get angry if I use the word 'try' - what else should I have said? 'Do it not'?"

"And here comes 'should' again," Obi-Wan teased him.

"Yes, yes, yes, okay. It's difficult to say sentences without 'try' and 'should'. Do you think we could simply speak normally?"

"Well, we could _try_ of course but I don't know if it's going to work."

Womp-rat-Anakin laughed. "Alright then, let's try it. So, the question again: Would you like to try to swim again?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan answered again, though he dreaded the consequences.

"Now?"

"I-I don't know," Obi-Wan said truthfully.

"That sounds like a 'yes' to me." Anakin gave him a big smile. "The first step would be, of course, to get into the water again. Try to get in as deep as I am."

Obi-Wan took a deep, shaky breath. He already felt dread rising within him when he simply stared at the lake's surface. Infinite, dark depths that threatened to swallow him. _Don't be stupid_, he told himself, _Anakin's still standing there and he's perfectly fine. The water doesn't do anything to him_. Slowly, Obi-Wan got to the bank, sat down at the edge and very, very slowly, he put one foot first, then the next, into the water. He sat like that for a very long time, staring transfixed at a little insect which flew in circles around his boots and the reeds. Now the next step... He got up and stood ankle-deep in the water, cautiously probing the muddy ground with his feet. He sighed. From an objective point of view, it was nothing more but standing in a puddle yet. And still, it had cost him such an effort. How could he ever get to the point that he was actually swimming? He looked up at Anakin, who stood still rooted to the spot, waiting for him to continue with incredible patience. What Obi-Wan would give to have such patience! He probably would have lost patience before long, would have pulled him into the water - just like Dooku had done - and would have pushed his head underwater to prove to him that water was not dangerous at all. Obi-Wan hated to admit it but maybe Anakin was ready to take the trials and be knighted. Obi-Wan stared at his feet again, willing them to move one step further into the lake. Then he had to pause again.

"That's going to take a bit of time," Obi-Wan said, frustrated with himself because of his slow progress.

"I didn't expect you to jump in with a header like Jar Jar," Anakin said good-naturedly.

Obi-Wan laughed nervously. His legs finally did the next step. He kept his focus on his boots, concentrating on how they churned up the mire, which created little clouds around his boots. He tried not to think about how far he was already away from the bank. The odd thing about it was: the deeper he got, the less frightened he felt. Each step released his fear a little bit. Each step proved to him it was perfectly safe. At long last, he stood next to Anakin. Looking back, he was almost a bit proud of himself. He had made about four metres into the water. Nothing really heroic, of course, but he had done it. Very slowly, though, but he had done the four metres. And he knew he could go further.

"How do you feel?" Anakin asked him.

"Nervous," Obi-Wan said promptly. "But a bit better," he added.

"Ready to swim?"

"Uh, not yet. At first, I just want to walk in a bit deeper."

"Well, go on," Anakin encouraged him.

"Yes. Um, this sounds really stupid but... Could you get out of reach?" Obi-Wan felt really bad for saying it because Anakin was being so nice to him and tried to help but Anakin's presence - so close here in the water - reminded him too much of what had happened five years ago. "I don't mean to offend you but I think I could relax better if I was here on my own."

"That's alright," Anakin said and he seemed not offended at all, just a tad awkward maybe. "My feet were getting cold anyway." With that, he walked out of the water, sat down on a sunny spot at the waterside and meditated.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and continued slowly but steadily. At certain intervals, he paused and took his time to take a look around and take in his surroundings. He thought that, maybe, he liked this place. It was silent and peaceful and the air was pure - so different from what it was like on Coruscant. To Obi-Wan's utter astonishment, he thought that the smell of water was pleasant. No, more than that: It was intoxicating. Soon, the water was at his waist. He combed the lake's surface with his fingers, enjoying the soft plashing. He fished a little bee which was about to drown, out of the water. _I hope you won't get a trauma like I had_. Obi-Wan grinned to himself as he thought about it. As the bee's wings were clotty with water, Obi-Wan used the Force to levitate it towards the bank. Surprisingly, it took him no effort at all. Normally, it was difficult to levitate such small objects. It could be easier to move a big rock than a needle sometimes. It was particularly difficult to levitate living beings. But today, Obi-Wan was in perfect tune with the Living Force. When he set the bee down on the exact leaf he had planned to use, his gaze rested on the ring his Master had given to him on his thirteenth birthday: The ever-present bluish glow had vanished. It was shining a deep black now. Encouraged by that, Obi-Wan got fully into the water and did the first stroke. His movements were hectic at first and he kept checking if he could still reach the ground with his feet. Soon, however, he trusted the water, the Force and himself enough to enjoy the wonderful sensation of floating through the refreshing coolness. He even closed his eyes for a certain time. There was still a little uneasy feeling in his stomach when there was suddenly no ground under his feet anymore but he managed to stay calm and swim back to the bank with relaxed strokes.

Anakin was sitting cross-legged in the moss. He was deep in meditation. It was a bit absurd but to Obi-Wan it seemed as if the Force loved Anakin. It was all around him, calm and strong and it was just... the Force. Not the nervous mess which surrounded other Padawans when they meditated. Most people had difficulties in calling the Force to them and enwrapping themselves in it. With Anakin, however, it was different: He did not need to call the Force - the Force came to him and enwrapped itself around him. It was the first time that Anakin's aura in the Force neither made Obi-Wan angry nor jealous nor nervous nor frustrated. Quite the contrary: The calmness of the Force had helped him to relax and take heart. Obi-Wan understood it was not the Force or Anakin's aura which had changed. The change had happened within himself. It was the first time that Obi-Wan accepted Anakin's help and it was the same as with the water: There was nothing bad about it. He had let go of his fear and had trusted - in himself, in Anakin, in the Force - and it had proved to be innocuous. Everything was still normal. Anakin did not gloat, Obi-Wan did not feel inferior because he had been helped... It seemed to be alright like that. Anakin had his eyes closed, oblivious to Obi-Wan's gaze on him. The sunrays which fell through the canopy of leaves bathed him in a dazzling light. With the Force glowing brilliantly around him, he looked like a Force-vision. Obi-Wan had never before given it much thought, but today, at that perfect moment, he _knew_ Anakin was the Chosen One.

Chosen One or not – there was still an old score to settle. Careful not to make a noise, Obi-Wan cupped his hands and filled them with water, sneaked towards the meditating Anakin and sprayed the water into his face. Anakin leapt up with a yelp and next moment, Obi-Wan was Force-pushed back into the lake. A millisecond later, Anakin's lightsaber sprang to life, ready to attack.

"Man, what do you think you're doing?!" Anakin shouted. He still looked a bit dizzy from his meditation. "You're lucky you still got your head on top of your body!"

Obi-Wan laughed. "You have perfect Jedi-reflexes!" He sprayed more water at Anakin, making his lightsaber hiss angrily.

Anakin quickly deactivated it. "Hey, you want to short-circuit my lightsaber, or what?!" Then Anakin was in the water too and drove Obi-Wan backwards, using the Force to send waves of water crashing over him.

"That is no -" Obi-Wan spluttered, his mouth full of water " - respectful use of - " he got underwater and resurfaced again " - the Force!"

"And what about you destroying my lightsaber, eh? What was that?"

"Well, that was..." Wiping the water from his eyes, Obi-Wan tried to think of something clever to counter.

"Well?"

"Well, it was not revenge," Obi-Wan concluded lamely and the next wave crashed over his head. He thought it was time to defend himself and thus threw himself on top of Anakin and both of them submerged. They continued their fight underwater, struggling to break free from each other's grip. Finally, they resurfaced again, both gasping for air.

"And what - would you have done -," Anakin panted, " - if battle droids had arrived - and my lightsaber was – out of order, huh? You would have had to - fight them all by yourself!"

As Anakin was still grasping Obi-Wan's shoulders, ready to duck him again, Obi-Wan thought of something nice to say. "Ah, you're sooo amazingly - incredibly, unusually, extraordinarily strong in the Force - that you would have had no problems - fighting all the droids with your hands."

"Heh!" Anakin laughed loudly and tightened his grip on Obi-Wan's shoulders. "Mocking me won't help your cause!"

"Uh-oh." Obi-Wan freed himself from Anakin's not so very tight grip, quickly turned around and dived under. He had wondered if he could do this but after he had got so much water in his mouth and he had not even had problems with Anakin gripping him and ducking him, he should be alright. And he was. More than alright. It was amazing, he dived deeper and deeper, relishing in every stroke. He had never felt so alive before.

Anakin caught up with him. He had his rebreather on, which was cheating, really. Anakin grasped him again but instead of pushing him down further, he pulled him up and swam together with him to the surface.

"What was that about?" Obi-Wan asked, slightly confused but mostly still thrilled from the great diving experience.

"You shouldn't dive so deep without a rebreather," Anakin advised him, completely serious.

"But I had my rebreather with me," Obi-Wan protested. "It's at my utility belt. I could have put it on if I was running out of air."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Anakin argued. "What if you had got hysterical again and if you had not found your rebreather in your panic?"

"But I didn't panic."

Anakin shook his head in slight amusement and gave Obi-Wan a penetrating glance. "You're a bit over-confident. Don't get reckless."

"Don't act so worry-Windu-like."

"What!"

And soon they started fighting again. Obi-Wan felt extremely hilarious - as if he was Force-drunk, if something like that existed. He dived again, this time with his rebreather on, so Anakin did not have to worry. Suddenly there was something in the dark depths of the lake. Huge yellow eyes. It got nearer very quickly. Panicking, the two of them swam to the surface, scrambled out of the water and ignited their lightsabers.

Fortunately, it was not a dangerous Padawan-eating monster but a submarine vehicle. With none other than their Masters and Jar Jar Binks in it. Laughing in relief, they deactivated their lightsabers. When Master Jinn saw them like that - soaked wet, dishevelled and cheerful - he gave them a broad smile, one that Master Dooku did not see, however. Master Dooku gave both a reproachful and very, very stern look. Obi-Wan knew it was going to be a long evening with endless lectures and extra-long hours of meditation but it was not such a big problem. Not anymore.


	12. Dark Forces Conspire

**Author's Note:** Hello everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update... I have good news: I have a beta now!!! Thank you very much for your help on this, Sentrosi! Have many pancakes ;-)

From now on, I'll post the review replies on my profile page. I just realised it's actually forbidden to post them here in the chapters. Ooops...

* * *

The four Jedi were back on Coruscant. They had brought the Queen with them and now she was submitting her request to take measures against the blockade to the Senate. It had been a narrow escape through the hostile fleet but Anakin's flying skills and an artoo unit's heroic deeds had brought them safely back. The crisis on Naboo, however, was not over yet. They certainly would be sent back there again as soon as the Senate decided what to do about the occupation.

Anakin and Qui-Gon fought their daily morning sparring match, which Anakin - again - won. It had been several months since Qui-Gon had defeated Anakin last.

"That was good," Qui-Gon acknowledged his Padawan and clapped him on the back. The older man was visibly exhausted by the little duel whereas Anakin's breathing had only sped up a little bit. _There is not much I can teach him anymore_, Qui-Gonthought and, somehow, that thought frightened him.

"Can I ask you something, Master?" Anakin asked him when they sat down to do some meditation.

"Of course, Padawan," Qui-Gon answered and stretched his aching back.

Anakin had noticed the little movement, of course. "Is it your back again?"

"You're getting too fast for me," Qui-Gon said lightly.

"Fastness is not what determines who's the better fighter," Anakin replied. He settled down behind Qui-Gon and pressed his inner hands firmly against Qui-Gon's shoulder blades, sending the Force at the exact spots where the muscles were tense. He was good at that: Using the Force to heal. He could become a great healer. He could also become a great swordsman with his incredible abilities. Or a great teacher. He had a way in getting along with kids. Come to think of it, he was good at _everything_.

Qui-Gon sighed contentedly when his muscles relaxed. "Thank you very much, Padawan. I wouldn't know what to do without you," he said affectionately. The pressure of Anakin's hands lessened for a second and, for an even shorter time, the Force flow between Anakin's hands and Qui-Gon's shoulders got slightly unfocussed. "What is it you wanted to ask me?" Qui-Gon got back to the issue.

"It's nothing," Anakin said unconvincingly.

"Are you sure?"

"It's nothing important, anyway."

"Well, you may ask me something unimportant once in a while. We can just do a little small talk if you wish."

"It's..." Anakin hesitated. "When you were a Padawan... How old were you when you were knighted?" he finished uncertainly.

The calmness which had settled down on Qui-Gon vanished in an instant as soon as the words were out. Qui-Gon may not be as fast as Anakin with his lightsaber but he perfectly understood the hint. He had hoped Anakin would never ask that question. Here it was again: His talented Padawan was impatient, wanted to prove himself and wanted to be knighted before his time. Xanatos had been knighted too early. It had been the first step towards the dark side. Xanatos had not been ready then. Qui-Gon would not make the same mistake twice. And though Anakin was very different from Xanatos, there were similarities Qui-Gon could not ignore. Amazing abilities, the eagerness to take the trials so early, over-confidence, pride, arrogance and eventually the dark side.

"I was 23," Qui-Gon answered heavily.

"And how good were your lightsaber skills then?"

"Well, they were not what Dooku had wanted for me," Qui-Gon tried to distract from the topic. "He had always wanted to teach me his lightsaber fighting style too but I insisted I keep to the modern form. So lightsaber technique was always a complicated thing between us. Personally, I think everyone should have the right to choose their own technique. They should not be forced into the same scheme as their Master."

"I agree." But Anakin did not give up so easily. "What did the other Masters think of you? Did they think you were a good swordsman?"

Qui-Gon turned around to look Anakin in the face. "Stop beating around the bush, Padawan." He could not completely hide the little angry undertone. "Just say what you want to say."

Anakin blushed a little bit. "I wondered... When, do you think, could I take the trials?"

"I have not given it much thought yet," Qui-Gon said curtly. "You're only eighteen and there's still much time for you until your trials. Your focus must be on the Here and Now, not on the future."

Anakin's blush got a little deeper. "Yes, I know, Master. I... I know eighteen is pretty young to take the trials but... oh, I don't mean to sound arrogant but I know some other Masters think I'm ready. You are my Master and you know me best, my strengths and my weaknesses, and that's why I wanted to ask you what you think of the matter. And if you think I'm not ready yet, could you tell me what there is I must improve?"

Qui-Gon got on his feet and paced agitatedly in the Temple Gardens. "You don't mean to sound arrogant? But you _do_. And you don't only sound arrogant but you also _are_ arrogant. Eighteen, Anakin, which is just too _young_ to become a Jedi Knight."

"So that's my only fault? My age?" Anakin said incredulously. "You know what Master Yoda says about it: _Age is not measured in_ -"

"I know that very well, you don't have to lecture me, Padawan," Qui-Gon interrupted him harshly.

"Is that it? Is it because I defeat you in our sparring matches? Can't you bear that your own Padawan is better than you? Do you want to keep me under your control so you can prove to me you're still mightier than me? Are you holding me back on purpose, or what?"

"Don't you dare say such things!" Qui-Gon knew he should stay calm but he was getting angrier and angrier - and more desperate - with each passing second. "That's not the Jedi way and you know that very well! I can tell you where your faults lie: It's your impatience, your overconfidence in your own abilities and your presumptions. You think just because of your great abilities you're a great Jedi automatically, but that's not as easy as that."

Anakin's lips quivered a little bit. "I thought you of all people would understand," he said bitterly. "I thought you were maybe the only one who saw more in me than just a bundle of abilities and midi-chlorians. And you always pretended to be understanding when I told you about the other students who were jealous of me. But you were just like them. I'm so sick of it!"

They stared at each other for a long time. Qui-Gon's anger faded quickly when he saw the hurt look in Anakin's eyes. Anakin's face was always so open and frank and Qui-Gon had learned to read him easily. He could not lose him like he had lost Xanatos. He could never endure that again.

Finally, Anakin cast his eyes to the ground. "I'm sorry, I got carried away," he apologised politely. "Now you know what I... Well, in case you feel I'm ready to take the trials, you know that I will be willing to take them. I just want to be a Jedi Knight and do something useful. I could do more than just follow you like a little child. That's what I think, anyway. Of course, it's your decision in the end and I'll accept it either way." He bowed curtly and swiftly walked away.

Qui-Gon watched him walking off, his heart aching for the boy - the young man - he had been training all those years and who had become like a son to him. _It's because I love you so much that I don't want you to take the trials so early. I don't want to hold you back, I only want to protect you. _

ooooooo

Senator Palpatine was satisfied with recent developments. Young, naive Queen Amidala had listened to him and had called for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum, which, naturally, had been successful. The new candidates had been nominated. A thin smile crossed Palpatine's lips. He knew who of them was going to win.

The time had finally come. The time to act, and to take drastic measures.

The galaxy would finally be his.

Soon.

Very soon.

There were still the Jedi, of course. They were a meddlesome annoyance. And Queen Amidala, too. Palpatine could normally read very well people's motives. This affair on Naboo, however, was getting out of hand. It was time to send his apprentice there to solve the situation. Palpatine just hoped he was not going to kill all the Jedi. Explaining this to Maul was too complicated. Maul was just plain dumb, nothing but a killing machine. Loyal of course, yes, but Palpatine was looking forward to training a new apprentice, someone who was more intelligent. You needed someone who was really intelligent if you wanted to overthrow a galaxywide Republic that had stood for a thousand years. Palpatine hoped the Jedi were going to kill his apprentice. He hoped it was the right one who would do it. Palpatine had watched them for quite some time now. He had watched them very carefully and he still was not sure yet whom of them he wanted as his apprentice. Naturally, his first thought had been Skywalker. The boy was so unusually gifted... He could bring Palpatine powers... But turning him would be difficult. Kenobi, however, was a much easier prey. There was already much anger, much dark side, in him. But there were many young Jedi who were angry and had dark side traits. Palpatine did not want just _any_ apprentice. They were not really worth the effort. Then there was Dooku. Only recently, Palpatine had given him any thought. Turning a Jedi Master had seemed impossible before now. They had been ingrained by the Jedi for too long, they were far too attached to the Jedi Order. But maybe that was their sore spot... It was a challenge, but Palpatine liked challenges. Jinn was the only one who was truly useless. Palpatine had told Maul to kill Jinn first. And then he had it: A Masterless Skywalker, whom he could turn very subtly and very slowly. Yes, Palpatine would wait for him. Skywalker was definitely worth it.

The dark side is generous, patient and it always wins.

Senator soon-to-be Chancellor Palpatine could be very patient.

ooooooo

The atmosphere was tense on the ride back to Naboo. Practically everyone was angry with everyone else. Dooku was still angry with Obi-Wan because he had not overcome his fear in the lake a few days ago. Anakin was angry with Dooku for how he behaved towards Obi-Wan, and Dooku was angry with Anakin for how he had behaved towards the Jedi Master. Dooku and Qui-Gon were angry with each other because of their disagreements on how to resolve the situation. Anakin and Qui-Gon were angry with each other because of the knighting-thing.

Anakin thought the Jedi Council should have sent someone else. Jedi who were not too busy being angry with each other to fulfil their mission. Obi-Wan was being bombarded with a lecture from Dooku again, so Anakin had spent most of the flight talking to Jar Jar Binks. There were the Queen's handmaidens of course, but Anakin felt thoroughly uneasy in their company. They started giggling every time he passed them and sticking their head together and whispered excitedly when they thought he would not notice. Anakin definitely preferred Jar Jar's tales about his people to the handmaidens' giggly chat-up lines.

"Hello."

Anakin jumped at the friendly voice behind him... A handmaiden _again_. Well, at least it was only one. But then Anakin recognised her: She was the Queen in her handmaiden's disguise. He briefly bowed his head.

She giggled extremely shrilly and fluttered her eyelashes. "Why are you bowing to me?"

"Your disguise can't fool a Jedi," Anakin answered, rolling his eyes at her silly behaviour.

She sat down next to him and leant towards him, suddenly all serious. "My disguise is a security measure, and though it doesn't fool you, it's meant to fool non-Jedi-people. My identity must stay a secret, so please treat me as if I'm a handmaiden."

"Of course. Sorry. I shouldn't have been so loud and showed off with my Jedi abilities. It will stay a secret, Milady, ah..."

"It's Padmé."

They exchanged a brief smile. "Just out of curiosity," Anakin said, "but whom on this ship do you want to fool? I mean, there are your handmaidens, the security forces, the Jedi, Jar Jar, a few astromech droids and the ship's crew."

"I don't really know," she admitted, "but Panaka - he's head of the Royal Naboo Security Forces – says I mustn't let my guard down for a moment. He can be a bit paranoid, I guess. But my parents would never allow me to be the Queen without Panaka at my side."

"How old are you?"

"Fourteen."

"That's really a young age to bear so much responsibility." _And I'm eighteen and 'too young' to be a Jedi Knight_, Anakin thought bitterly. "I don't mean to offend you, but do your people respect orders from you?"

"You see, I don't rule my people," she said a bit crossly, "I merely represent their interests and try to do what is best for them."

"I never questioned that. You know, there's a very wise Jedi Master who likes to say _more than a count of heartbeats, age is. Age is how many mistakes you have made_. And you must know that he's 800 somewhat years old."

Padmé laughed. Suddenly, she was not cross anymore at all. "That sounds good. I'm going to tell that to everyone who questions me because of my age. And of course you're right: that happens frequently. So, you think it's good to be a young queen because you haven't made so many mistakes yet?"

"Not necessarily. No person is flawless. It's just important to learn from your mistakes, to grow through it. Then mistakes can teach you very much."

She nodded and looked thoughtfully at him for a long moment. Afterwards, she did not pay much attention to him anymore. She talked to Jar Jar about the Gungan's army. Anakin wondered whether she thought him presumptuous and arrogant because he kept quoting such wisdoms and spoke of such abstract things. She certainly would not be the first one who thought of him like that. But maybe he was just being reading too much into her behaviour. After all, there was going to be a battle on the planet she 'ruled' and she seemed a responsible leader who would not lead her people into a war unprepared.

ooooooo

Obi-Wan was glad when they finally landed on Naboo. He certainly did not look forward to a battle but his head was buzzing from the many lectures he had heard on their way here. The Gungans agreed to help them in battle after one of the handmaidens had revealed herself to be the true Queen and begged them to help her.

Obi-Wan was nervous. He had never fought in such a big battle before. Master Dooku was going to lead the Gungan army into the battlefield as he was the best tactician. Obi-Wan knew his Master did not want him there because if he had to look after his Padawan as well, he would not be able to fully focus on the battle.

"Padawan, you go with Master Jinn and Padawan Skywalker," Dooku told him. "You and the Queen's security troops are going to arrest Viceroy Gunray."

Obi-Wan nodded dutifully. He just hoped Master Jinn would not tell him to stay inside the ship so he would not hinder anyone.

"Master," Anakin addressed Master Jinn, "can I go with the other pilots?"

Master Jinn frowned and looked somewhat suspiciously at Anakin. "Why?"

"You have more than enough people to arrest the Viceroy. I would be more useful in a starfighter. Honestly, Master," Anakin said quietly so no one but the other Jedi could hear him, "they may be good pilots but they aren't Jedi. It's most important to blow up that droid control ship. If they don't succeed, the whole battle is pointless and all the Gungans are going to die. You can't let that happen just because..." Anakin shook his head in frustration. "You know I'm a good pilot... I can do it."

Master Jinn did not look happy with it but in the end, he agreed. They wished each other a grumpy 'May the Force be with you' and went on their separate ways.

Obi-Wan had never been with another Master before. He liked Master Jinn a lot - the Jedi Knight had always been friendly to him - and he really hoped he was not a burden to him. The battle droids were nothing to worry about. They looked impressive but, in actual fact, they were pretty useless. Finishing them off and finding their way into Theed Palace was easy work.

Then, however, something happened no one had expected. A door opened and behind it stood a creature that looked as if it had just come out of a horrible children's nightmare. It was clad completely in black, its face red and tattooed with creepy patterns, pointy horns on its bald head. Worst of all were its eyes. They flared a maniac yellow. The creature bared its equally yellow teeth and extended a lightsaber. A red lightsaber with two blades. Obi-Wan shuddered. Never before had he seen someone else but a Jedi use a lightsaber. This creature was definitely not a Jedi. The devilish figure radiated pure darkness, making Obi-Wan dizzy with it.

Master Jinn threw him a scrutinising glance as if asking him, _Can you do it? Will you come with me?_ Obi-Wan nodded determinedly. He would not let Master Jinn down.

"We will handle this", Master Jinn calmly told the Queen and her troop. "You go on."

The dark creature swirled its lightsaber expectantly, pugnaciousness evident in its horrible features. The two Jedi laid down their cloaks and ignited their lightsabers too. Then they attacked.

* * *

**AN:** Now it's time to put your CD into your CD player and listen to "Duel of the Fates". That's the name of the next chapter. And, yes, I do hope you all have the brilliant soundtrack from the brilliant John Williams ;-) 


	13. Duel of the Fates

**Author's Note: **

Thanks to my beta Sentrosi!!! You don't have to apologise, it was fast enough. And of course your tests and exams are priority. It was you who sent the hundredth review, yay:)

**Warning: There's a bit of slashiness at the end of this chapter.**

* * *

While Dooku led the Gungan army to war, Anakin flew his starfighter into the battle droids' control ship and the Queen and her little party double-crossed the Neimoidians; a fierce lightsaber duel took place in the Theed Power Generator.

In reality, Obi-Wan had never before fought against someone with a lightsaber. Normally, the Jedi had to block blaster fire. Lightsaber to lightsaber combat took only place in the Temple's Training Combat Chamber.

This, Theed Power Generator, was reality. Cruel, harsh reality. Every strike, every parry a life or death decision. The dark creature was wild. It was difficult to stay calm and not succumb to its wildness. But Master Jinn was very serene and Obi-Wan could rely on the Master's calmness. They were two against one but the dark creature with its double-bladed lightsaber had no problems fighting both of them at the same time.

_Patience. The time to strike will come. _

It was Obi-Wan's advantage that the lightsaber form Dooku had taught him was meant for lightsaber duels. Otherwise, he would have been lost before long. The red blade would have sliced him to pieces if he had not been so good at blocking lightsaber attacks. Slowly, he understood how to fight alongside someone who fought in the modern style. It was perfect because they balanced each other. Each sword style had its advantages and disadvantages and they only worked really well when they were combined.

But the dark creature had more than balance and co-ordination. It had strength, perseverance, power and the sheer will to kill. The dark side was incredibly strong in it. Obi-Wan was caught between shrinking away from it or getting closer to it, tasting the darkness, understanding how to use it.

How could they ever win against the darkness if it had such strength?

Next moment, the red-faced guy kicked Obi-Wan in the chest and sent him flying down several levels. Obi-Wan struggled to get on his feet again. Above, he could see the red and the green blades clashing into each other incredibly fast. Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan summoned the Force and Force-jumped up again. Master Jinn and the dark creature had already moved on and were running through a corridor. Obi-Wan sprinted to catch up with them but suddenly several reddish laser shields activated itself between the corridor walls, separating the three fighters from each other. Obi-Wan stopped and tried to catch his breath again. A few metres before him, Master Jinn had sat down in order to meditate. He looked exhausted and sweat stood on his forehead. He looked old. The dark figure walked alongside the laser shields, twisting the lightsaber in its hands, watching Master Jinn with bloodthirsty eyes like a predator lurking for its prey.

Then there was a soft hiss and the laser shields turned away. Master Jinn and the dark creature continued their battle as if they had never been stopped. Obi-Wan ran forwards, ran, ran, ran, but he did not get there in time. Before he had reached the open, the laser shields had closed again, locking him out. Helplessly, he watched the duel through the red shield. Master Jinn was getting slower and slower. He could only weakly parry his opponent's powerful slashes. Obi-Wan summoned the Force again and tried to open the last laser shield that separated him from the two combatants. It did not work. Horror-struck, he had to witness how the dark creature disarmed Master Jinn.

_Open! Damn it, open, finally! _Obi-Wan wanted to run forward and interfere but the laser shields did not open. And then it really was too late. A red blade burned through Master Jinn's chest.

_NO!!!_ a silent cry escaped Obi-Wan's mouth. Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion. Master Jinn sank down to the floor in a graceful arc, his eyes wide with shock. The dark creature turned around, grinning maliciously at Obi-Wan.

_I will kill you_, Obi-Wan vowed. _I will kill you and revenge Master Jinn_.

When the laser shield finally opened, he dashed forward and attacked, his lightsaber faster than ever before. But his opponent was stronger, _darker_. Obi-Wan could not win. Soon, he was disarmed too and the creature sent him flying down a reactor shaft with a hard kick. Somehow, at the last possible moment, Obi-Wan's fingers found a tiny nozzle on the side of the pit, to which he desperately clung. His lightsaber, however, was lost in the pit's depths. There was nothing he could do against such a dark creature without a lightsaber. He could just hold on - hold on until the last bit of strength would leave his fingers. His gaze rested on Master Jinn's lifeless body. _I was too late. If I had arrived in time, we could have defeated that monster together. But I was too late._ And this was his end. He was just a useless Padawan, who should have been sent to the Agricorps long before. Who had never learned to defeat his own darkness. Who had never been good enough for a Master. Now he would simply, unspectacularly fall down, down, down. There would not even be a corpse of him left to burn in the traditional Jedi funeral. A fitting end for him. He wondered idly if someone would miss him. Bant, perhaps.

The dark creature slashed furiously at the shaft's edge, angry that he could not reach Obi-Wan and finish his pathetic victim.

_No, I won't give you the satisfaction to kill me too_, Obi-Wan thought darkly. _I'd rather just let go and fall down_.

He did not even have the courage to let go.

His gaze found the lightsaber of Master Jinn. It lay uselessly on the floor. Not very far away.

It would never work. Obi-Wan's hands were already sweaty und worn out from holding on for so long. Where could he summon up the strength to do that?

_You can do it. Let go. Trust in the Force._

_Let go... Trust in the Force..._ The Force was here. It was still here, despite death and darkness. It was bright as always. He remembered what Master Yoda had once told a class of younglings: _Leave the Force, you can. Leave you, the Force will never. _

_Help me_, Obi-Wan whispered, and the Force helped him. He jumped, no: _flew_, up, Master Jinn's lightsaber flew into his hand, resting perfectly in it so he could ignite it before he even landed on his feet again. It was a quick slash, slicing cleanly through the dark creature's body. The creature fell backwards, fell down into the black shaft and faded in the darkness - nothing but a horrible nightmare.

Obi-Wan heard a soft groan behind him. He hurried to Master Jinn's side and carefully lifted his upper body up from the floor.

"Don't worry, Master Jinn. I'll get you out of here. You'll be alright," he babbled helplessly.

"It's too late," Master Jinn croaked.

Obi-Wan swallowed very hard. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I wasn't fast enough to help you. I'm so sorry..." His voice cracked.

Master Jinn grasped his hand and squeezed it weakly. "You fought very well today, Padawan Kenobi. Your Master has much to be proud of you." He gave Obi-Wan a little smile.

It brought tears to Obi-Wan's eyes. Master Dooku never smiled at him like that. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Your Master - my former Master - is a very strict Master," Master Jinn said as if he had read Obi-Wan's mind. "I know it's sometimes hard to be his Padawan. But I also know he's very proud of you." He took a weak, rattling breath. "Padawan Kenobi, you must tell the Council about this. You must tell them about that dark creature. They need to know. Maybe there are more of his kind."

"Yes, Master Jinn, I will tell them," Obi-Wan promised the dying Jedi Knight. "Here, your lightsaber." He put the Jedi weapon into Master Jinn's hand.

"No...no. I won't need it anymore. There's... peace in the Force. Give it to Anakin... to my Padawan."

"I will give it to him."

"Now he can finally be a Jedi Knight... and no one will tease him because of his short braid anymore... He will become a... great... Jedi... Knight..."

Qui-Gon Jinn died with a smile on his lips. Obi-Wan remained sitting there a little longer, grieving for the deceased Jedi Knight. He closed the eyelids and whispered a last, "May the Force be with you". Then he clipped the lightsaber at his belt, got up and carried Master Jinn's dead body back. It was a long way to go, his arms were exhausted with the weight of the tall Jedi Knight and he was so tired from the fight. Finally, some men of the Queen's troop came hurrying towards him. They looked thoroughly shocked when they saw the corpse in Obi-Wan's arms.

"What happened? Where's that monster? Did you kill it?"

Obi-Wan only nodded weakly. A Naboo man relieved him of the weight and carried Master Jinn's body inside a chamber in the palace. Obi-Wan trotted silently behind them and watched them lay Master Jinn down in a grand bed.

"My sincere condolences, boy," an older man said to Obi-Wan. "He was your Master wasn't he?"

"No, he wasn't my Master," Obi-Wan said quietly. It reminded him he still had to tell Anakin. That was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. Telling Anakin that his Master was dead, that he, Obi-Wan, had not been able to save him... "Thank you for your help," Obi-Wan told the Naboo, who left awkwardly. Obi-Wan heaved a deep sigh and put his face in his hand. Telling Anakin about it seemed ten times worse than fighting that devilish creature. But he had to do it. Now. If something happened to _his_ Master, Obi-Wan would want to know it immediately too.

From outside, he could hear everyone celebrate Naboo's victory against the Trade Federation. Yes, they had won. However, it was a bitter victory. Tiredly, Obi-Wan went outside to look for Anakin. He found him in a big throng of people who celebrated him. The other pilots, some Gungans and - naturally - the Queen's handmaidens. He looked cheerful, handsome - a champion. Everyone wanted to congratulate him. Obi-Wan fought his way through the celebrating masses. From what he heard, Anakin had single-handedly blown up the droid control ship.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan pulled at Anakin's sleeve before yet another one could grab his hand and shake it.

Anakin turned to look at him. The broad smile on his face vanished in an instant when he saw Obi-Wan's expression. "Obi-Wan? What's wrong?"

"Not here, please," Obi-Wan said softly. "Come." He pulled Anakin with him into the Palace gardens behind a wall where they were alone. "You better sit down."

Anakin slowly sat down next to Obi-Wan on a little bench. "Please tell me," he said urgently. "Where's Qui-Gon?"

"He's…" Obi-Wan struggled for words to express the horrible truth. He wanted to say something which did not sound so cruel. _He's one with the Force now. Don't mourn him. His soul has rejoined the Force. You must let him go_. "…dead," Obi-Wan finished finally. This little, ugly word left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Anakin said nothing, he just kept staring blankly at a bed of dark blue flowers and a little fountain sprinkling merrily between the blooming flowers. It seemed as if the peaceful and idyllic surroundings wanted to mock them. Nature did not care in the slightest for what had happened to them.

"I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan said softly.

"Tell me," Anakin said in a calm, steely voice. His face was still blank from any emotion.

Obi-Wan's fists clenched and unclenched while he tried to give an accurate recount of the horrible events that had occurred earlier, and the blurred images in his mind. "We ran into some... terrible creature. He was a user of the dark Force and he had a lightsaber. We - we fought him together but even then we were not strong enough to get an advantage over him. He was so strong in the dark side... I fell down and when I was up again, Qui-Gon and the creature had already gone into a corridor and I... was too late. There were suddenly laser shields that sprang to life and I was locked behind them. They continued fighting and - and... the dark creature killed him with its lightsaber. I was locked behind the laser shield, I - I was not fast enough - when I ran forwards the last laser shield got up again and I couldn't go through. I - I could only watch..."

Anakin hit his fist hard on the bench on which they were sitting. "I should have been with him!" he said angrily. "I should have been with him, I shouldn't have gone with the pilots, I should have..." He gulped and clenched his fist so hard that his knuckles went white.

"I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan said in a small voice, "I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. I - I'm not as good as you and I just couldn't run faster..."

Anakin looked at him, blinked a few times and gulped again. "I don't blame you, Obi-Wan." His voice was steady but there was still that steely note in it. "It's not... your fault. I should have gone with him. I could have helped him. I shouldn't have gone with the pilots just to... _show off_."

"Show off?" Obi-Wan repeated uncertainly. Suddenly he understood: Anakin was blaming himself because he had not been there when his Master had needed him most. Obi-Wan remembered what Anakin had once told him about his Master: _I bet I will still accompany Qui-Gon on missions too when I'll be a Jedi Knight. I could never imagine going on a mission without him._ That dream was over now. Obi-Wan felt deeply sorry with Anakin. "It's not your fault," Obi-Wan said gently. "You did the right thing. I heard you managed to blow up the control ship. Maybe the pilots would not have succeeded without your help. You didn't show off, you just used your talents where they were most needed. And without you, many, many Gungans would have probably lost their lives and the whole battle would have been lost. I know it sounds hard now, but Qui-Gon was a Jedi Knight and I'm sure he would have willingly sacrificed his life for the greater good. If he had had the choice, he would have died if it meant he could save so many innocent lives by that."

"Y-Yes, I know." Anakin's lips quivered and he looked utterly lost. There was nothing of the beaming champion left.

Very cautiously, Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin's extremely tense shoulder, which sagged at the touch. He had not expected Anakin to lean against him and start sobbing into his shoulder. Awkwardly, Obi-Wan embraced the weeping boy and patted his back. "It's not your fault," he told him again.

"We - we had a-an argument this morning," Anakin whimpered, his whole body shaking with sobs, "and we d-didn't reconcile again."

"Oh shit," Obi-Wan muttered and tightened his hold on Anakin. There was really nothing else he could say to comfort him.

"I-I accused him of being selfish," Anakin choked, pressing his forehead hard against Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Be-because he said I'm not ready to take the trials, and I said he held me back and did not want me to take the trials because he wanted to show me that he was mightier, and I said he could not bear losing against me in our sparring matches..."

"Hey, he's not angry at you anymore," Obi-Wan reassured him, gently rubbing his back. "When he was dying, he told me you could finally be a Jedi Knight now and you didn't have to wear that stupid braid anymore. And he said you'd make a great Jedi Knight."

Anakin wept only more loudly at that. "The - the last thing I t-told him were some stupid accusations and I... and I couldn't say goodbye to him. I didn't tell him how much I love him and how grateful I am for everything he did for me. I-I only told him that I think he's selfish and jealous, a - a bad Master who wants to show his Padawan that he's more powerful... I know he never was like that, he-he always wanted to help me and he was never, _never_ angry because he lost a lightsaber match against me..."

"He did not seem hurt or angry," Obi-Wan said softly. "He spoke of you and he was smiling when he died."

"I don't want to be knighted. I only want to have him back. I don't mind if I'm only a Padawan forever, I just want to be with him again."

"I know, I know," Obi-Wan sighed. "It's only normal. Every Padawan wants to be a Jedi Knight as soon as possible. No one blames you for that."

"I do," Anakin said in a small voice.

"Yes," Obi-Wan said simply. "I understand." There were no more words to comfort Anakin, and so Obi-Wan just held him and Anakin cried for a very long time.

Eventually, Anakin pulled away and looked at Obi-Wan out of his swollen red eyes. "Where's his corpse? We need to bring him back to the Temple."

"I brought him here. He lies in a room in the palace now. Do you want to go there?"

Anakin nodded slowly. "Yes. I'd like to say...goodbye." His voice cracked and he started sobbing again. Before Obi-Wan could react, Anakin had his mouth pressed firmly on Obi-Wan's lips. Obi-Wan's heart skipped a beat at the sudden rush of sensations that flooded his mind. Anakin was kissing him fiercely, passionately - desperately. Obi-Wan did not protest or pull away when Anakin's jaw crushed hard against his. He just hugged Anakin again, who was kissing and crying at the same time. Tears running down his face, Anakin tasted salty and wet. He clung so tightly to Obi-Wan it almost hurt. Anakin's hands were fiercely grabbing Obi-Wan's hair, pulling Obi-Wan still closer towards him, trying to get more physical contact than was possible. Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan let Anakin do what he wanted - what he _needed_. He had never thought about their relationship in that way but it did not feel wrong. Anakin needed this now and Obi-Wan loved him enough to give it to him. Loved him, cared for him, pitied him... whatever the right word was. It did not matter at the moment. What mattered was that Obi-Wan wanted to comfort Anakin and that was what he was doing right now. Finally, Anakin let go of his possessive grip on Obi-Wan.

"I'm s-sorry," he muttered, avoiding Obi-Wan's eyes. He was gasping for breath and his sobs came as little hiccups.

"You don't have to apologise," Obi-Wan assured him and caressed Anakin's cheek, which was wet with tears, showing him it was really alright and Obi-Wan was not going to hate him or feel disgusted by him for what he had done.

"I shouldn't have..."

"It's alright, Anakin," Obi-Wan told him and embraced him again. "There was nothing bad about it."

"Thank you," Anakin whispered and weakly returned the embrace, softly crying into Obi-Wan's tunic, which was already soaked wet.

When Obi-Wan sensed that Anakin's breathing had finally become even again, he said, "Shall we go now?" Anakin nodded slowly and got up. They went back into the palace, avoiding people if it was possible - and if not, Obi-Wan would quickly get rid of them. "Here it is." They had reached the doors to the chamber where Qui-Gon's body lay. "Do you want me to come with you or would you rather be alone?" Obi-Wan gently asked Anakin.

"I think... I want to be alone right now," Anakin said in a trembling voice, visibly afraid of what was going to come.

"Okay. Here." Obi-Wan handed him Qui-Gon's lightsaber. "He wanted you to have it."

Anakin took it and caressed the hilt affectionately. There were new tears glistening in his eyes. "Thank you," he said again, smiling a tiny smile between all his tears. He looked to the doors and shuddered slightly.

"I'm going to wait here for you," Obi-Wan promised him.

"Okay." His hands shaking, Anakin opened the doors and went in.

He stayed there for a very long time. When he came out again, something about him had irrevocably changed. His tears had dried and he looked composed again. He walked steadily and with his head held high. He was very calm and serene. Seeing him like this, it was hard to imagine that he was the same person as the carefree boy who had fought frolicsomely with Obi-Wan in the lake on Naboo. It was even hard to imagine that he was the same person as the boy who had wept in despair in Obi-Wan's arms. It was because Anakin was not a boy anymore. He had left his childhood behind in that room together with Qui-Gon's body. He was a Jedi Knight now.


	14. The Danger of Attachment

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Special thanks to my great beta Sentrosi! This story is really fun to write with all your lovely feedback and support! Again, review replies can be found on my profile page.

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_Did that fool die to save you?_

That had been Master Dooku's first reaction when he had spoken to Obi-Wan after the battle on Naboo. The words had been accusing, stating clearly that Dooku thought Obi-Wan was worthless and Qui-Gon should not have wasted his life for someone like Obi-Wan.

Meanwhile, things had calmed down and Master Dooku was not making anymore accusations. Not directly, anyway. Obi-Wan could still recognise the silent accusation in his eyes when Dooku looked at him. But Obi-Wan understood. He knew Master Dooku and Master Jinn had been very close friends even though they had had arguments quite often. Master Dooku was hurt by his former Padawan's death and he wanted to blame someone for it.

Now was the third day in a row that Obi-Wan was heard by the whole Council. He had retold the events from Naboo so often that he thought the Jedi Council members knew already more about what had happened than he did. It was torture, reliving Qui-Gon's death again and again. Or the horrible fight against the dark creature, who, according to the Council's conclusion, had been a Sith. Obi-Wan was sincere and did not conceal anything. But he was thoroughly exhausted by answering the same questions again and again.

"So you wanted to take revenge on the Sith for killing Qui-Gon?" Master Windu asked him sternly.

"Yes, I think so. As I said, I can't remember every conscious thought I had during the fight, but I think I felt the urge to make him pay for it."

"Did you fight like that? When you finally fought the Sith alone, did you fight with the will to take revenge?" Master Windu prodded.

"Yes, I did," Obi-Wan confirmed it for the umpteenth time.

Mace Windu and Master Yoda exchanged a dark glance. "There's the dark side in him," Master Windu said grimly.

"Hm, yes, yes, of course," Yoda murmured. He scrutinised Obi-Wan thoroughly. "Helped you to win, the dark side did?"

"Well, it made me stronger," Obi-Wan said honestly. "I could fight better than ever before. But I still wasn't strong enough to win against the Sith."

Yoda cackled. "Yes, yes, dark side there is in you. But not enough dark side to defeat a Sith."

Master Windu shot Master Yoda an annoyed glance. "I'd be very worried, indeed, if there was enough darkness in him to defeat a Sith Lord."

Obi-Wan understood: This was no longer about the exact reconstruction of the events on Naboo because they wanted to find out about Qui-Gon's death and the Sith. It was a disagreement between Master Yoda and Master Windu. It was all about a disagreement concerning the dark side in Obi-Wan.

Yoda turned his attention to Obi-Wan again. "To defeat a Sith, the darkness in you strong enough is not. Hmm. So what else you can do in order to fight a Sith?"

"I must trust in the Force, Master," Obi-Wan replied dutifully. "I should rely on the light side."

Yoda nodded slowly. "Yes... Rely on your strengths, you must, young Obi-Wan. Darkness there is in you, yes, but only a small amount of weak darkness. The light, much stronger it is in you than the darkness. Strong enough to defeat a Sith it is? Know this, I do not. But stronger it is in you, and trust in this you must. Hmm. What you do with a wound to make it heal? Stab in it anew with a knife or put a bacta patch on it?"

"Um, put a bacta patch on it, Master," Obi-Wan said uncertainly.

"Ah!" Grinning in satisfaction, Master Yoda leant back in his chair. "Very clever Padawan Kenobi is, is he not?"

Master Windu looked darkly at Yoda as if he wanted to say, _I'd be very, __**very**__ worried, indeed, if he stabbed in a wound with a knife in order to make it heal and if he did not know he must use a bacta patch. _

"Decided it is," Master Yoda declared confidently. "Meditate on this, you will, Padawan Kenobi. This meeting over is. Send Padawan Skywalker here. Knight him, we will."

"Yes." Obi-Wan bowed. "May the Force be with you, Masters."

ooooooo

Everything had gone according to plan. Darth Maul had proven pretty useful. Newly elected Chancellor Palpatine was content with the current situation. Maul was dead, Jinn was dead, Kenobi had shown traits of the dark side and Skywalker was now an orphan, hopefully unstable because of his Master's death. Palpatine was confident he had found Skywalker's sore spot. Now, Darth Sidious needed a new apprentice. And when he had him, the Clone Wars could begin.

Soon.

Very soon.

ooooooo

_There is no emotion; there is peace._

_There is no ignorance; there is knowledge._

_There is no passion; there is serenity._

_There is no death; there is the Force. _

Anakin stood in the middle of the Council Chamber. He felt lost, lonely and vulnerable, exposed to the Master's scrutinising glances. He was like an open wound. He had been robbed of his previous life and now he faced an uncertain future.

_There is no emotion; there is peace. _

Yes, Anakin felt peace but peace did not equate to happiness. Peace could not prevent you from feeling sad. He was cold inside. Now he understood why the Jedi Code forbade attachment. He had had an attachment to Qui-Gon and it had hurt him too much. It had made him do things a Jedi should never do, should never _feel_. Now, he had hardened his heart. He would not make the same mistake again. He was a Jedi Knight now and he would be strong. He was strong. Strong and calm and utterly at peace.

"Kneel down, Padawan Skywalker," Mace Windu told him solemnly.

Anakin knelt down in front of him. He remembered how he and Obi-Wan had had fun fighting each other in the water – just a few days ago. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Life had been so easy then.

A Jedi did not live in the past. Anakin let go of everything when Master Windu cut off his braid and thus severed the last link to his previous life. Anakin had often imagined this day, the day of his knighting. When he had pictured it, it had never been Mace Windu who had cut off his braid. No, it had been Qui-Gon of course.

Master Windu took Anakin's hand and pulled him on his feet again. "Welcome in the Jedi Order, Knight Skywalker."

In Anakin's imagination it had been Qui-Gon who had said these words. There had been a trace of moisture in his eyes and a proud smile on his face. After the ceremony, he had told Anakin what a great Padawan he had been, and Anakin had thanked him ebulliently for the great time they had had together, and they had agreed to go on missions together again from time to time.

Now, Anakin moved on. He bowed to the Masters and recited the traditional words. "I thank you for this honour to be a full member of the Jedi Order. I will follow its rules and traditions, honour the Jedi Code and help guard peace and justice in the Republic. I devote my life to the Force for now and forever."

Master Windu nodded appreciatively at him. "May the Force be with you, may it guide and support you on your way, Knight Skywalker."

Anakin bowed again. "May the Force be with you, Masters."

_There is no emotion; there is peace._

_There is n ignorance; there is knowledge._

_There is no passion; there is serenity._

_There is no death; there is the Force. _

Knight Skywalker went on. The Force was with him. And he would not look back. Never look back.

ooooooo

About thirty Jedi had gathered in a circle around the funeral pyre. Most of the Council members and friends of the deceased Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn were present. There were also some Gungan, Queen Amidala from Naboo and newly elected Chancellor Palpatine. Dooku had not come. Mace Windu knew how much the old Master had cared for his former Padawan and he was someone who preferred to be alone with his grief. Dooku did not let people get close to him. But Qui-Gon had been close to him. Maybe he was the only person ever. And that was why Qui-Gon's death had shaken Master Dooku so much. Yes, Mace had heard him say some really rude things to Padawan Kenobi. Mace had tried to talk to Dooku but he had refused to talk to anyone. _Hurt…_ Qui-Gon's death had left so many people hurting… Mace knew he should not feel it but he did. He grieved for his dead friend. He missed Qui-Gon's optimistic and individualistic nature. Who would now cheer the grim Jedi Master Windu up? Mace Windu stared intensely into the flickering light of the torch, with which Knight Skywalker set the pyre to fire. As Qui-Gon's Padawan, this honour was entitled to him. The young Jedi Knight's hand that held the torch was steady and his demeanour was calm. His lips did not quiver and he did not avoid looking at Qui-Gon's corpse. The pyre erupted into flames. Knight Skywalker bowed and said in a calm voice, "May the Force be with you." Putting his hood on, he stepped back into the rows of the other Jedi. When he watched this young man's strength, Mace felt a sudden rush of affection. _I will look after him for you, my old friend_, he made a silent promise to the burning body on the pyre. _I will make sure he is alright. _Mace blinked a tear away and hid his face deep within his hood.

ooooooo

Several months later, the Clone Wars had begun.

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**Author's Note:** So now there will be the Clone Wars! And it's going to get dark and angsty, hehe ;-) 

And don't forget to review :D


	15. A Time of Heroes

The years passed. Years of fighting, years that threatened to break the galaxy apart. Years that broke people. The war had shown the worst in some people, in others it showed the best.

Anakin Skywalker grew into a strong, powerful and wise Jedi Knight. He was the Order's secret weapon. He seemed to be everywhere at once, single-handedly winning battle after battle for the Republic. The media made him a hero. He _was_ a hero. The Lone Warrior. The Hero with No Fear. The Jedi Prodigy. The Invincible Saviour. And the Chosen One, of course. He was the children's idol throughout the galaxy. In their schoolyard fights, everyone wanted to be Anakin Skywalker. They dreamed to be as good as him one day and save the galaxy. Everyone collected the miniature models of the starfighters Anakin flew. All the (humanoid) women goggled longingly at him if Holonet once again broadcasted the latest gossip about him. They adored his manly attitude, his bold demeanour and his handsome features. He was an encouragement to everyone fighting. He was a natural leader, and the armies he led to war admired and respected him for his exemplary comportment and his strength.

Anakin's career was unequalled: Jedi Knight at the age of eighteen, commander in the Grand Army of the Republic at the age of nineteen, received Special Award for Services to the Republic at the age of twenty, general in the GAR at the age of twenty-one… not to mention all the honorary citizenships throughout the galaxy. It was no secret that he would be elected on the Jedi Council as soon as a place was vacant.

You could see him on every Holonet magazine, in every news report on the Clone Wars.

Obi-Wan had only seen him once in person in all those years after Qui-Gon's death. Anakin had returned to Coruscant to receive the Special Award for Services to the Republic by Chancellor Palpatine himself. Obi-Wan had not known Anakin had been in the Temple and it had come as a surprise to him when he suddenly heard his name.

"_Obi-Wan."_

_Obi-Wan, who was on his way to the Training Chambers, turned around and found himself face to face with Anakin. Suddenly he had an oddly queasy sensation in his stomach and his heart was drumming a little faster than it should be. Somehow, Obi-Wan could understand all the teenage girls now who kissed the holographs of Anakin which covered the walls in their rooms. Because Anakin did look extremely handsome. He had changed so much since Obi-Wan had last seen him. His hair had grown long and curly and he wore black leather clothes. He was not the buoyant Padawan anymore, but had grown into (an extremely handsome looking!) Jedi Knight._

"_It's good to see you again," Anakin said pleasantly. "How are you?"_

"_Fine, thanks," Obi-Wan replied.__ "How are you? I heard you have become a commander."_

_Anakin shrugged it off. "I was on a mission with Master Windu, we had to separate and I had to order a troop of clones on my own and I was successful. Well, that's about it… Anyway, are you going to be in the Temple for the next days?"_

"_Yes, I think so. Master Dooku has some Council duties to attend, so we're going to stay on Coruscant for the next three or so weeks." Obi-Wan could not help but blush a little. He felt a bit stupid saying it. It certainly sounded as if he was a child who always only followed his Master around. _

"_I'm going to stay too for a few days. We could do some sparring," Anakin suggested.__ "You could show me some more techniques of the old style."_

"_Yes, why not?" Obi-Wan agreed, really looking forward to it. _

"_Tomorrow at 4.00?"_

"_Alright. See you." Obi-Wan couldn't keep the broad smile from his face._

_The next day, Obi-Wan arrived fifteen minutes early in __front of the Training Chambers. He waited for more than an hour. Then he checked all the Training Chambers, the changing rooms – nothing. Half an hour later, he gave up and returned to his quarters (where Master Dooku was already awaiting him and scolded him for being late for his afternoon lessons). After some meditation, Obi-Wan concluded Anakin had probably just offered to spar together out of politeness. Really, why should he want to train with Obi-Wan if he went on missions with people like Master Windu? Maybe Anakin was already a Master of Vaapad…_

_A few days later, Obi-Wan learned that Anakin had had to leave Coruscant because he had been sent to the Outer Rim to defend another planet against the Separatists. Obi-Wan just whished Anakin had at least bothered to drop in to say goodbye… _

In comparison to Anakin's meteoric rise, Obi-Wan's career was slightly less exciting: Padawan at the age of eighteen, Padawan at the age of nineteen, Padawan at the age of twenty, Padawan at the age of twenty-one, Padawan at the age of twenty-two, Padawan at the age of twenty-three… And it did not look like that was going to change in the near future. He, too, fought in the Clone Wars, alongside his Master Dooku. Sometimes, however, Dooku went on missions alone. He was one of the best warriors and the most cunning tacticians the Order had, and so he was often sent on complicated missions. Missions which were too dangerous for Obi-Wan. Or missions to which Obi-Wan was too dangerous because he might cause failure to the mission. One day, Dooku did not return. The Council sent a search troop there. Obi-Wan was not allowed to come with them. Today, the Council had declared Dooku dead. They had only found his lightsaber. It was something that happened frequently now. There were several Masterless Padawans in the Temple. It was quiet in the Temple nowadays. Grief, fear and loneliness reigned everywhere.

ooooooo

When Anakin returned to the Temple after yet another battle on another planet threatened by the Separatists, and after another bunch of curious holonet reporters and holographers, his only worry was for a shower and a few hours of sleep in a bed. _Please, let me stay for a few days this time_, he prayed to the Force. Utterly exhausted, he staggered through the corridors, politely accepting congratulations for his successful mission. When he had just relieved himself from his stinking, sweaty and dirty clothes, there was a knock at his door. Heaving a deep sigh, he put his clothes back on and went to open the door. It was a young apprentice, a girl with swollen, red eyes. She bowed timidly.

"The Council asks to see you," she said in a small voice.

Inwardly, he groaned in agony. "Yes, I'm coming," he sighed. He looked her up and down again and paused at her tearstained eyes. "What is wrong with you?" he asked gently. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Someone you know died, right?"

She swallowed. "No. I... I will be sent to the Agri Corps. No one chose me as their Padawan and now they will send me away."

"Oh." Anakin frowned. "You see, I think you can be lucky. Working with the Agri Corps means you don't have to fight in this horrible war."

"I don't like the war of course but someone has to fight for justice, right?" she protested vehemently. "I can't live like that – knowing that my friends are fighting and dying in the war, and I'm useless and have to grow crops or whatever. I know I'm not as strong as some other Jedi but I want to _do_ something. Anything."

Anakin contemplated this for a while. He could understand her reasoning. "So you're almost thirteen and no Master chose you as their Padawan?" he asked cautiously.

She nodded, biting her lip.

Suddenly, Anakin saw the solution. _His_ solution. He knew what the girl needed. And what he needed. He had always dreamed of taking a Padawan, of training a young boy or girl in the ways of the Jedi. "What is your name?"

"Sanla Karrron."

"I'm Anakin Skywalker and I'd like to take you as my Padawan."

"What?!" The young girl stared at him in complete shock.

Anakin winced. "If you don't want to be my Padawan, that's okay, really."

"N-n-no, no, _of course_ I want to be your Padawan but-but why would _you_ want _me_?"

"Why not?" Anakin retorted slightly annoyed. He knew very well what it was about.

"Well, the Force is not very strong in me," she said, embarrassed. "I probably would be a bit of a disappointment to you."

"Listen, Sanla," Anakin said patiently. "If being a Jedi is only about your amount of midi-chlorians, you perhaps would not have been trained in the first place. Then it would be easy: You'd just have to check the midi-chlorians count of every Force-sensitive being and check how many children can be trained and then choose the ten or twenty or hundred children who have the most midi-chlorians. Being a Jedi is much more than midi-chlorians. I'm no more or no less than you because I have more midi-chlorians. We are all servants of the Force and we will do our best to follow the will of the Force – by relying on our strengths. I'm sure you have some strengths which are worth to be discovered and improved."

Sanla looked up at him with admiration. "Thank you, Master Skywalker," she said softly. "I would be very honoured if you chose me as your Padawan."

It had been a long time that Anakin had smiled but now he did. He smiled at his Padawan. "And I would be very honoured and very happy if you agreed. You can come with me right now. As I have to meet the Council now anyway, you can accompany me there and then we can swear our oaths. And afterwards, you can certainly come with me on a horrible mission in this horrible war."

"That would be great!" Sanla said enthusiastically and followed him.

The Council members were surprised and annoyed when they saw Sanla again.

"Karrron, why are you not on the shuttle to the Agri Corps?" Mace Windu asked her disapprovingly.

"I told her to come with me," Anakin immediately defended his Padawan. "She doesn't need to work with the Agri Corps. I will take her as my Padawan."

Now, the Council members were even more surprised. They exchanged uncomfortable glances until finally Mace Windu spoke up again. "I'm afraid that is not possible."

"Why not?" Anakin asked, confused.

"Knight Skywalker, I think you are aware of the fact that you are one of our best warriors," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "We need you in battle. There is no time for you to train an apprentice."

"But she can accompany me!" Anakin said desperately. "Just like every Padawan accompanies their Master. I could use her help."

"That's ridiculous," Luminara Unduli said. "The Force is weak in her. She would only hinder you. We've had it too often recently: A Master has to save their Padawan and thus the mission fails."

"If she's not ready yet to fight on the battlefield, she could help me with other things like organisation, mission reports, tactics," Anakin suggested.

"What does she know about tactics?" Ki-Adi-Mundi argued.

"I could teach her," Anakin retorted.

"No," Mace Windu said authoritatively. "Under no circumstances will she be your Padawan."

"But I'm a Knight and as a Knight I am allowed to train a Padawan," Anakin argued.

"Not without the Council's agreement," Mace Windu said darkly. "This discussion is over. Karrron, go now or you will be late for your shuttle. You can consider yourself lucky you don't have to die in war like so many others. May the Force be with you."

Sanla swallowed, bit her lower lip and muttered a trembling, "May the Force be with you."

Regretful and angry, Anakin watched her leave. Right now, he despised the Council for being so inhuman. For shattering a young Jedi's dreams and for using Anakin as a battle machine. He looked at them defiantly. _What else do you want me to do?!_

Mace Windu cleared his throat. "With the utmost regret, we must inform you that Master Dooku has joined with the Force. We feel, however, honoured to welcome you as a new Master in our midst. Knight Skywalker, from now on you are Master Skywalker and a member of the High Council."

"Master Dooku is dead?" Anakin was shocked. He had heard rumours on Holonet, yes, but there were always rumours. The media had declared Anakin dead already five times. "What about Obi-Wan?" he asked worriedly.

Master Windu frowned. "He was not on that mission with his Master. We will debate his fate later. So, will you accept the rank of Master?"

"Yes," Anakin replied. He had seen it coming. He had known that when the next Master died, they would be replaced by Anakin. That had never been a secret. "I feel deeply honoured by it and I will do my best to fulfil the expectations placed in me."

"Sit down, Master Skywalker," Mace Windu told him.

Sitting here in the circle of the mightiest Jedi felt strange. But right now, Anakin could not care less. He did not want to be a Master; he only wanted to train a Padawan.

"We have a new mission for you," Luminara Unduli informed him.

Anakin nodded dully and did his best to pay attention to the information of yet another planet which expected a miraculous rescue by him. Obviously, being on the Council did not change a thing for him. The only difference would be that, in addition to his many other duties, he would have to take part in Council meetings via hologram during his few and short breaks from battle.

ooooooo

Obi-Wan was called before the Council. Maybe they would knight him now. Or give him a new Master. When he entered the Council Chamber, he stopped dead. On the seat where Master Dooku used to sit, sat none other than Anakin Skywalker. Deep bitterness crept into Obi-Wan. They had not even found Master Dooku's body yet, but they had already found someone to replace him. They had probably been looking forward to some Master dying, so they could have everyone's darling, Anakin Skywalker, on the Council. That explained why they had declared Dooku dead so quickly. Reluctantly, Obi-Wan bowed, well aware of Anakin's eyes on him. Obi-Wan made a point of not looking at him. Looking at Yoda was not good either because he respected and liked the old Master too much, and right now he wanted to be angry with the Council. So he chose Master Windu. It was hard. The Master's piercing glance seemed to look through Obi-Wan, right down at his very soul.

"We are very sorry, Padawan Kenobi," Master Windu started his speech, "but after almost three months of fruitless search and no contact from your Master, we have no other choice but declare him dead."

Obi-Wan nodded grimly. To him, it did not change a thing. He would not believe in his Master's death before he saw a corpse. The Council might declare him dead – fine. Obi-Wan would not come to the symbolic funeral.

"Now, what about Padawan Kenobi?" Master Unduli said thoughtfully as if he was not there at all. And then a debate about him started whether he was ready to be knighted yet or not.

Of course, Master Windu was against it. "He's not ready at all. He's impatient, defiant and angry. He still has much to learn."

"There are no Masters who would take a Padawan his age," Master Unduli argued. "Let's knight him."

"No, that would be the wrong decision," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "He absolutely needs someone to guide him."

And so it went on and on. Obi-Wan stood in the middle of the Council members and tried not to look too upset when they enumerated again the many things he still had to learn. It was utterly humiliating. In the end, they concluded that he would not be knighted yet but would stay in the Temple.

"He could teach some of the younglings lightsaber skills," Ki-Adi-Mundi suggested.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Shaak Ti said. "He uses the fighting style Dooku taught him. It would only confuse the younglings."

"Well then he could..." There was an awkward pause in which everyone seemed to search for _anything_ Obi-Wan could do.

"He could teach the apprentices about the Clone Wars and intergalactic politics," Master Unduli suggested, hopeful that they had finally found something.

Some nodded, not really enthusiastic, but apparently there was nothing else. Obi-Wan knew very well it was a senseless task they had given him. There was already a Master who taught intergalactic politics, Master Joro, an old man, who was certainly not going to fight in the Clone Wars. He felt so terribly useless. Why could they not simply knight him?! It was his problem, after all, if he did not survive on his own. Anything was better than staying useless inside the Temple.

"What about if he accompanies me on my mission?" Anakin spoke up for the first time.

"We already discussed that," Ki-Adi-Mundi said slightly impatiently.

"Yes, I know," Anakin replied, "but Obi-Wan is not as inexperienced as Sanla."

_Oh, wow, he remembers my name_, Obi-Wan thought sarcastically. _I guess I should feel honoured that he remembers my name after spending so much time with Masters, generals and high rank politicians… And whoever that Sanla is – she must be a __**really**__ hopeless case if even I am better than her._

"As I said, I could use some help," Anakin continued, "and I'm sure Obi-Wan could do at least some organisational things. It would mean that I could concentrate better on the more important tasks because I'm not distracted with paperwork or something like that."

_This_ was definitely worse than staying useless inside the Temple: Being Anakin's personal secretary or _slave_ who did the unimportant tasks so that the hero could focus on the essential things and be a hero. There was some more debating and in the end, the Council agreed with Anakin's proposal and told Obi-Wan to join Anakin on his mission to Praesitlyn. Obi-Wan muttered a "May the Force be with you," bowed curtly and left the Council Chamber, _fuming_.

ooooooo

Anakin was not sure if suggesting Obi-Wan accompanied him had been such a good idea. Considering Obi-Wan's facial expression and the dark swirl of emotions in the Force, it had not been a good idea at all. Sighing softly to himself, he got up from his seat and followed Obi-Wan. The Council meeting was finally over. Already after one day, Anakin knew he did not like being on the Council. He found Obi-Wan at his favourite place in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

"Hello Obi-Wan."

When being addressed, Obi-Wan jumped to his feet as if he had got an electric shock. He glared at Anakin. Anakin shrunk back a bit when he saw the hate in Obi-Wan's eyes.

"I'm sorry because of your Master," he told Obi-Wan in what he hoped was a comforting voice. He had never forgotten what Obi-Wan had done for him when Qui-Gon had died and he hoped he could help Obi-Wan now as well. "If there's anything I can do –"

"He is not dead," Obi-Wan grinded out.

"What?" Anakin said, confused.

"They only found his lightsaber. He is not dead. I know he is not dead."

"Obi-Wan, it has been three months now," Anakin said gently. "If he was still alive, he would have contacted the Temple..."

"I know he is not dead," Obi-Wan insisted. "And I will go looking for him. I will go looking for him and I will find him"

"You can't do that, the Council –"

"Yes, yes, the _Council_," Obi-Wan interrupted him again. His voice was hard, bitter and mocking. "They are certainly happy they are rid of Master Dooku and can finally have you. Oh, you probably staged it, didn't you?" He laughed humourlessly. "You and the Council, maybe you're holding Dooku prisoner somewhere in a dark hole, so you can be on the Council."

"Stop that," Anakin said, angry and hurt at the same time.

"Why, did I hit a nerve? Tell me, what did you do to be elected on the Council?"

"I never asked to be elected on the Council," Anakin defended himself. "I would prefer it if Master Dooku was still alive and I was only a Jedi Knight."

"Yes, because then you wouldn't be stuck with me, right?" Obi-Wan said spitefully.

"Please stop that. You're not making sense. I asked you to come with me, didn't I? So it's nothing about being _stuck with you_."

"You didn't ask _me,_" Obi-Wan spat. "You only asked the Council."

"Yes, but you know it's their decision ultimately. I did it because I thought you wouldn't want to stay in the Temple. If I were you, I'd feel useless stuck up in the Temple."

"Oh yes, and I feel so much more useful if I'm allowed to clean up your shoes, the shoes of Anakin Skywalker, _wow_."

"If you refer to what I said about paperwork and important tasks," Anakin said patiently, "I only said that because otherwise the Council would not have agreed. You don't have to do the unimportant tasks or whatever. We can discuss it and share the tasks. On equal terms."

"How very generous of you," Obi-Wan said nastily. "You know what? I'm sick of being at your mercy."

"But this has nothing to do with..." Anakin helplessly trailed off. Obi-Wan could be so frustrating!

"Why, Anakin? Why me? Couldn't you just leave me alone? Don't you have enough admirers and fan clubs? Can't you bear it if someone doesn't erupt into cheers of joy because he's allowed to lick your shoes?"

"Okay, that's enough," Anakin said, his voice calm and detached. "I wanted to make this comfortable for both of us but I don't see a chance for a productive cooperation anymore. From now on you will do as I tell you. And it's 'Master Skywalker', not 'Anakin'. Now pack your things and don't be late, Padawan Kenobi." Anakin could not think of another way of getting through to Obi-Wan. Normally, Obi-Wan listened to the Masters and obeyed them, even if he did not agree with them. Maybe, if Anakin just behaved masterly enough, they would at least stop throwing accusations at each other.

Obi-Wan stared incredulously at him. "I won't call you 'Master Skywalker'. That's absolutely ridiculous. We grew up together and we've known each other for twenty years now. I see no reason that you're worth more than I am."

"We did not grow up _together_," Anakin said bitterly. "We grew _apart_. And we've never really known each other."

"I won't call you that," Obi-Wan said stubbornly.

"Then I will report it to the Council," Anakin said unperturbedly "That will certainly not help you to be knighted. And if you keep on disobeying direct rules from a Council member, it might lead to worse consequences."

Obi-Wan opened his mouth, definitely in order to protest and call Anakin names, but then he rethought it and closed his mouth into a thin, angry line. Without another word, he turned on his heels and made to leave.

"Hey!" Anakin called him back. "You bow to me before you leave, do you understand me?"

Obi-Wan angrily glared at him, hatred evident in his every features. Finally, he did a very curt bow and left quickly.

"And you must learn to control your anger and your hate, Padawan Kenobi," Anakin could not resist the sideswipe. He knew his behaviour was not befitting of a Jedi Master. But Obi-Wan _had _hurt him. Anakin had considered Obi-Wan his friend. Not a very close friend – Anakin did not have close friends at all. _Friends_… Did sparring together every few years make you friends? Certainly not. What else had they had? They had always been rivals, even as little younglings, they had been on three missions together, Anakin had almost killed Obi-Wan and he had kissed Obi-Wan. Friends, sure. That was certainly not what would be commonly called 'friends'. But still, it hurt to hear someone of the very few people, of whom he had thought they regarded him as more than a battle machine or a hero of the media, say such things to him. He knew he should not feel hurt. He should be calm and centred in the Force, he should be above such insults. Anakin took a deep breath. It was his first day as a Jedi Master and he had already done everything wrong. Obi-Wan was still a Padawan, an angry, impatient Jedi apprentice, and Anakin was a Master, that meant some people actually thought he was wise and strong enough to be on the Jedi Council. As a Master, he should help Obi-Wan overcome his anger. The Council had said Obi-Wan needed someone to guide him. As it looked, that task was Anakin's now. He just did not know how to do it as Obi-Wan did not want his help.


	16. The Clone Wars

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait with the update... The next chapter will be up more quickly.

Thank you very, very much for all your wonderful reviews. You guys are great!!! You have _no_ idea how much I enjoyed reading your reviews for the last chapter (I'm going to write personal review replies for my profile page later this evening). Especially because some of you are angry at Anakin and the others think Obi-Wan is the idiot ;-) Really, I love to see all the different feedback my story provokes. May the Force be with you!

Special thanks to Sentrosi for betaing this chapter and to Soul of a Young Man for helping me with the clone soldiers' quote.

* * *

Obi-Wan was standing two steps behind Anakin, like a Padawan would stand behind a Master. In his mind, he played several scenarios how he spoke his mind to that arrogant Master-General-Hero-With-No-Fear-Invincible-Saviour-Skywalker, just walked off and went on the search for Master Dooku. A ridiculous idea, of course. The galaxy was too big to simply scour it. And, of course, he was not allowed to disobey direct rules from a Council member. But, at least in his mind, Obi-Wan could insult _Master Skywalker_, wipe that serene expression from his face, annoy him, hurt him and eventually prove just how weak that _Master_ was.

"General Skywalker." An ARC soldier saluted to Anakin. "The troops are ready to leave."

"Very good, Commander Cody," Anakin replied. "I'm glad we work together on this mission again," he said pleasantly.

"So am I, Sir," the clone called Cody said, pleased. "It's always an honour to my troop and me to serve the Republic under your command."

Anakin accepted the compliment with a curt nod. "Tell your men to board," he ordered. "As soon as we have made the jump to hyperspace, I would like to discuss the tactics for the battle with you. Are Betto and Yan still in your unit?"

"Yes, Sir. Shall I bring them too?"

"Yes, thank you."

It was so typical of Anakin to be so polite to even clones. Knowing all their names instead of calling them by numbers, saying 'thank you'... On Obi-Wan's missions with Master Dooku, the tone in which was spoken to the clones used to be very different: 'Come to the tactical room as soon as we have made the jump to hyperspace, A1-07. Bring some men with you who have good knowledge in tactical matters.' Obi-Wan preferred Dooku's direct tone, even though it was probably because he was determined to find fault in perfect-Anakin.

When they had made the jump to hyperspace, it was time for the tactical briefing. Anakin turned to Obi-Wan, silently asking him if he would like to come too. Obi-Wan glared back at him. _Don't you dare to suggest that I'm __**allowed**__ to join you_. Anakin seemed to take the hint and left without another word. Obi-Wan did not want to be reliant on Anakin's mercy. If the Council thought he was so incapable, there was no need for him to disturb important tactical briefings, he told himself grimly. He was going to prove to them how wrong they were, to all of them but especially to Anakin.

The next days before the battle passed much like that. Anakin was always busy, meeting important people, leading tactical discussions, taking part in Council sessions via hologram, training with the clone soldiers... while Obi-Wan was sitting around uselessly. He did not see much of Anakin. They did not speak much. Anakin was mostly polite or even friendly towards him, very Jedi-like, and fortunately he had stopped calling Obi-Wan 'Padawan Kenobi'. However, Obi-Wan wasn't sure if he was allowed to stop calling Anakin 'Master Skywalker' as well. He certainly did not want to ask for allowance and so he continued bowing and addressing him as 'Master' (of course he tried to avoid it as much as possible). Sometimes Anakin asked him to do some minor jobs and Obi-Wan did them conscientiously and without complaint. It was bearable, after all. The many hours Obi-Wan had on his own when he had nothing to do, he meditated or practised his lightsaber skills (always careful that Anakin could not watch him because he would offer to train together). Obi-Wan tried not to think of his Master. He liked to pretend this was all normal and Dooku was on a difficult mission again where Obi-Wan was not allowed to join him.

The morning before the battle, Anakin briefly instructed Obi-Wan, who would stay in the camp they had set up on Praesitlyn, what to do in an emergency case.

"We're leaving in a minute. Thirty soldiers will stay here and guard the camp. In case you're attacked, here's an evacuation plan." Anakin handed him a disc with the information. "You'll have to lead the evacuation. Is that alright?"

"That's not a problem," Obi-Wan said, checking the evacuation plan on his datapad.

"Contact the Council if there's something unexpected. Don't contact me because the Separatist armies could trace our connection and thus track us down. We should be back sometime this evening. If we are not back after three days, you may try to contact me. If you cannot contact me... well, contact the Council and ask what you should do."

"Okay."

"Well, that's it. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you." With a sense of foreboding, Obi-Wan watched Anakin leave. _If we are not back after three days, you may try to contact me. If you cannot contact me... well, contact the Council and ask what you should do. _Obi-Wan did not like the sound of that. What if Anakin did not come back? Would he be missing in action for months and then be declared dead too, just like Dooku? And everything happened while Obi-Wan stayed helplessly behind...

But the first day went very well. Anakin and the clone soldiers returned late at night. They had won the first battle, a spaceship battle in Praesitlyn's orbit, without many casualties on their side. There were more tactical briefings, Anakin wrote battle reports the whole night, and the next morning they left again, this time for a battle on the ground.

During the day, wounded soldiers returned to the camp, some were brought in by their companions, some staggered in alone. For some, help was too late. Too many wounded came, and the military medcenter was filled with fatally wounded soldiers by evening when everyone returned to spend the night in the camp. Or, at least, almost everyone. One unit was still out. Anakin still had not come back.

Obi-Wan asked if he could be of assistance in the military medcenter. They were grateful for every help they could get, especially help from a Jedi. And though Obi-Wan was not one of the greatest Jedi healers, he could do things the clone surgeons could not do. The work distracted him from his worries. Everything was fine as long as he had something to do. Working hard meant he did not have to think so much. He was useful here, he had to save lives. He talked to the soldiers, distracting them from their pain, encouraging them, explaining to them how the Jedi used the body's self-healing powers... And of course he asked them how things had gone today.

Obi-Wan moved on to the next cot where a soldier lay whose right leg was torn to shreds in a very ugly way. At first, Obi-Wan injected him some painkillers. "The painkillers will work in a few seconds," he told the man, who was groaning in agony. "What's your name?"

"Commander, _argh_, Sulli."

"So, tell me, is this your first mission as a commander?" Obi-Wan asked while he carefully removed the rest of Sulli's trousers from the rest of the leg.

"Oaaaaa!" he groaned and squirmed in pain. "O-Of course it's not my first mission."

"Just keep on talking, it helps forget the pain for the moment," Obi-Wan told him. "On which other planets did you fight?"

Sulli's face contracted in pain and concentration when he continued. "Geonosis, of course. And Kamino, Melida/Daan, Thule..."

"I see." Obi-Wan placed a hand on Sulli's chest and sent the Force through his body. "Try to relax. Accept the pain. Don't fight it. I have to spray disinfectant in the wounds now, that's going to hurt. _Relax, relax_," Obi-Wan told him again. "It's always the same, every time I mention the word 'disinfectant' everyone gets cramped, no matter how much I tell them to relax."

Sulli forced a grin. "It's a bad word."

"I guess it is. Were your other missions successful?"

"_Aaaaah!_"

That had been the disinfectant. "It's over now," Obi-Wan told him gently and sent the Force in calming waves through his body. "You must accept the pain. Accept the Force, and then I can help you."

"How –?"

"Don't fight it back. You must see your body as a whole."

"A-Alright."

"You're doing well," Obi-Wan complimented him, and soon the combined effort of the painkillers and the Force were beginning to take effect, and Obi-Wan could finally start treating the leg.

"I've worked under General Skywalker's command several times before, so, yes, my missions were successful," Sulli said, not bothering about his leg anymore.

"Do you, by any chance, know if General Skywalker has already returned or what happened to him?"

"The last time I saw him, he went with a handful of brave men right into the Intergalactic Communications Centre. We were trying to get in there for the whole day but, if you ask me, it's impossible. So General Skywalker decided the only chance to invade it was if only a few people did it. It's suicidal. What can six people do against such battle machinery? He allowed us to go and asked if there were any volunteers who were ready to accompany him. I would have come with him had it not been for my leg." Sulli gave his leg a dark look as if it was its fault.

"So you think there's no chance of survival?" Obi-Wan asked. His hands, which wrapped a bandage around Sulli's upper leg, were suddenly shaking and he needed to pause for a moment.

"Well, maybe there's the tiniest glimmer of hope and if anyone at all can do it, it's definitely General Skywalker. But I'm not so sure of that. He's becoming reckless."

"Reckless? What do you mean by that?"

"I don't mean to criticise General Skywalker," Sulli said quickly. "He is the greatest warrior I've ever met and he's an intelligent leader and a responsible general. I – as everyone else – hold him in high respect. But sometimes – and contradict me if I'm mistaken, I'm only a simple soldier and you, as a Jedi, have certainly more insight into this – sometimes he is reckless with his own life."

"Is he?" Obi-Wan was already finished with treating Sulli's injuries but he stayed nevertheless.

"I think this war doesn't do him good. He's too young. Sometimes it's almost like..."

"Like what?"

Sulli shrugged apologetically. "Like he's seeking death. He goes on and on and on, never resting, always the first one to attack, always the last one to retreat, always doing the most dangerous things on his own."

"That's his duty as a general, isn't it?" Obi-Wan reasoned, a tad relieved. He had heard that before. Of course, Anakin was the first one to attack, the last one to retreat, the one who did the dangerous things on his own. Because he was so good, because he was a hero – the Hero With No Fear, the Lone Warrior, the Invincible Saviour or whatever else they called him now.

Obi-Wan stayed in the medcenter for the rest of the night. When the sun rose in the early morning hours and all the patients had been cared for and most of them were sleeping now, he went outside and checked the horizon. But far and wide no one was to be seen. He went to look in the tent he and Anakin shared. Maybe Anakin had already returned without anyone noticing.

But the tent was empty. There was nothing else Obi-Wan could do, so he lay down on his bedroll and, exhausted as he was, he fell asleep very quickly.

He woke up around midday. The first thing he did was going to the medcenter. Two more warriors had died of their injuries. Anakin still had not returned. Obi-Wan went back to his tent and ate a little bit. His gaze rested on his comlink. Anakin had told him not to contact him before three days had passed. So far, it had been only two days…

Obi-Wan did some stretching exercises. Meditation did not go very well. In the evening, Commander Cody returned with his troop, who had fought on another battlefield. There were many wounded again and so Obi-Wan helped in the medcenter again, focussing on the Here and Now.

It was far beyond midnight when Anakin finally returned. Carrying an unconscious clone soldier on his shoulders, he staggered into the medcenter. Obi-Wan hurried towards him immediately.

"Help me with him," Anakin panted. "I think he has internal injuries. He was crushed under a droid tank. He's been unconscious for hours."

Obi-Wan and a clone surgeon relieved Anakin from his burden and carefully laid the injured man down. The surgeon scanned him, and then said, "We have to operate quickly if we want to save his life." Immediately, other clones hurried towards him and started the surgery.

Obi-Wan turned to look at Anakin. He looked terrible, full of dust and blood, his clothes torn and singed. "Are you alright?" Obi-Wan asked, concerned. Anakin nodded weakly. "Were you successful?" Obi-Wan inquired.

"We managed to disrupt their communication, so if you want to call that successful – yes, we were."

"The others died?"

Anakin only nodded again. "Has Commander Cody already returned?"

"Yes, he came back several hours ago," Obi-Wan informed him. "He could fight the Separatist army back but many were injured. Well, you see it." He indicated the full medcenter.

"How many died?"

"28. But there are still some more of whom... I doubt they can make it."

Anakin nodded gravely. "The funeral will take place tomorrow at sunrise. How's Commander Sulli?"

"Better. But he won't be able to fight again in the near future."

"Where is he? I'd like to see him."

"On the left, over there."

Anakin went over to Commander Sulli to talk a little bit to him. Obi-Wan watched the surgeons treat the man Anakin had brought back. "That doesn't work," one of the surgeons muttered. He turned to look at Obi-Wan. "We need your help," he said urgently.

"What is it?" Obi-Wan immediately joined them at the operating table.

"His body repels the anti-blood-clotting medicament. He'll be dead in a few minutes if his brain isn't supplied with new oxygen. You have to make his body accept the medicament. You did it before."

Obi-Wan approached the operating table and tried to manipulate the injured man's mind. Yes, he had done it before. But that had been with someone who had had a bleeding in his stomach and who had been conscious – not someone whose whole body had been crushed and who had been unconscious for hours. All Obi-Wan could do now was delay the inevitable end. He could make the man stop repelling the anti-blood-clotting medicament – but he could not make his body accept the medicament's help. And it was hard work. Obi-Wan would not be able to hold on much longer. "I can't do this," he muttered, his forehead wet with beads of sweat from the effort.

"Alright," the head of department said. "Then we will not make him suffer any longer. Switch off the devices."

"_No_." It was Anakin. He had just finished his conversation with Sulli and hurried to the operating table now too. "Don't give up yet," he said urgently. "Please, hold on just one more moment, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated anew. He felt Anakin's Force joining his. It made him feel a tad ashamed that Anakin's Force abilities were so much stronger than Obi-Wan's even after two days of fighting to exhaustion. Soon they (or rather: Anakin) had made the body accept the medicament. In the Force, Obi-Wan could feel how the man's mind was slowly drifting back to consciousness. Not consciousness of the body yet – it would take much time for him to wake up... _if_ he woke up at all – but at least his mind did not feel as numb anymore as before.

"He will never be able to fight again," one of the surgeons said grimly. "He's not worth the effort."

"He gave his wellbeing or even his life for this mission!" Anakin said fiercely. "He definitely is worth the effort."

"I'm sorry, General Skywalker, but that's something you Jedi just don't understand," the surgeon argued. "We would rather die than live the rest of our life as a useless cripple who hinders other people. We were produced to fight and a life without fighting is not a worthy life."

Anakin nodded briefly and made to leave. "Keep him alive by all means. That's an order. Goodnight."

Obi-Wan walked back with Anakin to their tent. "A life without fighting is not a worthy life," Anakin repeated darkly. "How can they fight for peace if they think like that?"

"They have been trained for fight all their lives," Obi-Wan reasoned. "Such cruel indoctrination... They don't know anything else."

"And what about us? Do we believe in what we do because it is right or is it just the Jedi indoctrination?"

"What do you mean?" Obi-Wan asked, slightly confused.

"Well, it's pretty much the same with us, isn't it? We've never known anything else but the Jedi teachings. What if we're doing the wrong thing? What if we aren't the good ones? Maybe the other side thinks just the same as we do. They think they are the good ones. Maybe they are. Who can know that for sure?"

"How can it be right to just invade planets and impose laws upon them without their agreement?"

"That sounds like the things they taught us in intergalactic politics. What if you have to force happiness upon people?"

"Forcing someone to do something is never good," Obi-Wan stated firmly.

"And what did we just do?" Anakin asked softly. "Didn't we force that soldier to survive even though, maybe, he would have preferred death?"

"That comparison is absurd!" Obi-Wan said, feeling more and more uneasy by Anakin's talk.

"I don't like that comparison either," Anakin muttered.

"You had a bad day, didn't you?" Obi-Wan asked sympathetically. He was sure that was the reason for Anakin's strange mood.

"No, I enjoyed it, what did you expect?" Anakin retorted cynically.

Obi-Wan did not really know what to say to this, so he kept quiet until they arrived in their tent. While Obi-Wan took off his boots and crawled under his blanket, Anakin switched on his datapad and sent a message to Commander Cody.

"Cody, I'd like to discuss with you what we have achieved so far and our plans for the next days tomorrow, erm, _this_ morning, at 4am. At sunrise, there will be the funeral for the dead soldiers. Please tell your men to be there in time. Afterwards, we'll quickly instruct everyone and then we'll attack the Separatist base. How we're going to do this, well, that will be discussed in the morning. Anything important that cannot wait until then?" The hologram of Cody negated. "Goodnight and rest a bit. See you later," Anakin said. He cut the connection and slumped back in his chair. Then he got himself some protein bars, mineral drops and vitamin drinks and started writing something on his datapad.

Obi-Wan's eyes fell shut again and again. After about half an hour, he cleared his throat and asked, "Erm, Master Skywalker, you said you'd meet Commander Cody at 4am. That's in less than two hours. When exactly do you intend to sleep?"

"I'm going to do some meditation later," Anakin said absent-mindedly. "Does it bother you if the light is still on? I'll go outside to meditate, I just have to finish these mission reports."

"Mission reports? Forgive me for asking, but couldn't that wait until another day?"

"Which other day? There will be new missions and I'll forget the details. The Temple needs exact information. It could be vital for other battles. Right now, I'm just taking down notes. I'm going to rewrite it at the end of the mission."

"Okay, I understand that but... Well, tomorrow you're going to battle again, and wouldn't it help everyone much more if you rested a few hours and renewed your energies instead of writing mission reports?"

At last, Anakin turned to look at Obi-Wan. "Trust me, Obi-Wan, this is not my first battle. I'm a Master and a General, so I should have some experience on how to do this, right?"

Obi-Wan blushed a little bit. "Of course. Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb your work."

"That's alright. Sleep well."

But Obi-Wan needed some time to fall asleep. He could not help but feel a bit guilty that he was allowed to rest while Anakin had to work throughout the night and fight in battles for days. Obi-Wan thought that all the young boys and girls who wanted to become a Jedi-hero like Anakin should know about this other side of being a hero too, and rethink their dreams for their future. And Obi-Wan had to admit to himself that he, too, should rethink the image he had of Anakin. Maybe this was why Anakin was a hero. Because he could work day and night, always fighting, never resting, never being weak. Maybe it was here where the others failed. Maybe Anakin deserved the fame and appreciation he got.

ooooooo

Obi-Wan felt as if he had just fallen asleep when a shrill alarm woke him up. It was still pitch-dark.

"Sorry," he heard Anakin's muffled voice in the dark. "Just sleep on. I'll set the alarm so it will wake you up for the funeral. See you."

Two hours later, when the alarm clock rang again, Obi-Wan still felt like a heap of mud. But he could not skip the funeral, that would have been highly disrespectful. Grabbing his cloak, he went outside and let his gaze wander over the deserted plains. The sun had not risen yet and the last stars could still be seen at the slowly brightening sky. Everything was eerily calm.

Slowly, he wandered through the tents to the little hill at the end of the camp, where the clones had already gathered. Six of them were digging a long grave, which was almost finished now. Next to it lay the thirty fallen soldiers in a row. Their bodies had been hastily wrapped into dirty blankets.

In the early morning hours, it was still chilly in the deserts of Praesitlyn. Obi-Wan pulled his cloak tighter around his body and stepped into the circle of clones who stood in silence around the grave. When the last soldiers had arrived, the ceremony began. It was a very simple ceremony. The clone troopers thought practical. There was no need and no time in war to have a pompous funeral.

A dozen of soldiers stepped forward and laid the deceased into the grave. Obi-Wan had been at a clone trooper funeral before but the other times he had not experienced such a feeling of melancholy. He could not explain what it was. It was a helpless feeling of loneliness but, at the same time, the words which Commander Cody spoke, after everyone had thrown a handful of earth into the grave, were oddly soothing.

"From the water you are born. In fire you die. Your bodies seed the stars."

The clone troopers standing around answered him in grave voices, "We seed the stars."

Obi-Wan found himself echoing them in a low whisper, "We seed the stars." He caught Anakin's eye who was standing next to him. Obi-Wan wondered if Anakin thought the same things he did. _We are so much like them. We don't have a family either. We belong to nowhere. None of us are important. We only live for the Force we serve. _

Obi-Wan's gaze drifted to the horizon where the sun rose behind the mountains in the distance. He stayed a little longer until the first sunrays reached the little hill. He absent-mindedly helped some clones fill the grave up with earth. _Whom of them will I see tomorrow again? Whom will I bury then? Or will it be me who will be buried? Or Anakin? What if there's never a tomorrow for any of us? _

When the sunlight crept down the little hill andbathed the grey-brown plains in a soft light, the troops took up position in order to march off. _And now we part again_, Obi-Wan thought when he watched the great numbers of white armoured men salute simultaneously to their general.

Obi-Wan could not go on worrying forever. No one could worry continuously. So he would have to do what the Jedi taught: let go, accept, do one's duty. His heart heavy, Obi-Wan bid Anakin farewell. And he was alone again. No Master, no friends... Dooku had taught him once that being a Jedi meant being alone. _Are you teaching me a lesson now, Master?_ Obi-Wan wondered sadly.


	17. ObiWan's Assignment

**Author's Note:** Here's the quick update I promised. Thanks again for your nice reviews! Some of the dialogue in this chapter is taken from ROTS. You'll see what I mean... I hope you like it.

* * *

After two more days, the troops returned. They had been successful again, thanks to Anakin's fine leadership qualities, as Obi-Wan was told when he treated wounded soldiers in the military medcenter again. There had been few losses in the clone army but, alas, many Praesitlyn inhabitants had lost their lives. Tomorrow, some final negotiations would take place and then, hopefully, this mission would be over. Being on a mission with Anakin was not nearly as heroic and exciting as the media told you everyday. The allovershadowing impression Obi-Wan had got here on Praesitlyn was dust, dust, dust, blood and endless hours of worrying.

In the early morning hours, when he had finished his work in the medcenter, he went back to his tent in order to get a few hours of sleep. Anakin was already there, he was sprawled over his and Obi-Wan's sleeping mats as if he had just fallen down there. He still had his boots and cloak on. And he was snoring _very _loudly. Obi-Wan stopped dead, frowning slightly to himself. He did not know what to make of this situation. But then he could not fight back the broad grin any longer. It was just great: The Chosen One, the Hero With No Fear and heart-throb snore as loudly as an old bantha. If the media knew of that...

Still grinning, Obi-Wan pulled off Anakin's dusty boots. He wrinkled his nose. Anakin probably had not gotten out of his boots for a week. Or even longer. _So you have smelly feet on top of everything, Chosen One. Perhaps you even have warts on your feet. _But Obi-Wan did not feel like checking if there were really warts. He pulled a blanket over Anakin and then sat down in the chair in front of the little table. Anakin's datapad was still running and a file containing the mission report was open. Obi-Wan skimmed it through. Anakin had rewritten the first draft but he had stopped somewhere close to the end. Shaking his head, Obi-Wan turned to look at Anakin's sleeping figure. His mouth was hanging wide open and he had not moved a bit since Obi-Wan had enwrapped him into the blanket. He was still snoring loudly. _If you go on like this, you will break down at some point_, Obi-Wan thought, concerned. He turned his attention back to the mission report on the datapad. It was full of spelling mistakes and faulty syntax, some words were doubled, others were missing... As Obi-Wan would not be able to sleep with Anakin's loud snoring anyway, he started correcting the mission report. He even finished the last part which Anakin had not written out yet. Sometimes, when he had been on a mission with his Master, he had been responsible for writing the mission report, so he knew how to do it.

Shortly before midday, the alarm clock rang. Groaning, Anakin woke up and muttered some very un-jedi-like curses.

"Good morning," Obi-Wan said, smiling.

"Morning..." Anakin laboriously propped himself up and yawned again and again. "Shit, where did I put my boots...?"

"I put them outside," Obi-Wan informed him. "They stink."

"Ah. Sorry for that."

"I made me some stimcaf. It's still warm. Would you like some?"

"Yeah, that would be great." Obi-Wan poured him a mug of stimcaf and Anakin sat down at the little table, drinking it in silence. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his eyes still looked small, tired and bleary. He was still in his dirty, sweaty and bloodstained tunic. Anakin noticed his glance. "I guess I should change my clothes before I go to the negotiations today," he said, warming his hands at his mug of stimcaf.

"The negotiations shouldn't be a problem, right?" Obi-Wan said. "I read your mission report," he explained, "and it sounds like you expect this to be the end of the mission."

"Yes, I hope so. Then we can go back home." Anakin took another sip of his stimcaf. Then he looked up at Obi-Wan. "Was it very bad for you?"

"Uh, what do you mean?" Obi-Wan asked, confused.

"Well, I kind of forced you into this, and I know you didn't want to come with me and things..."

"I..." Obi-Wan awkwardly toyed with his Padawan-braid in his fingers. "You see, of course I don't enjoy battles and people getting injured. But apart from that, it was okay."

"Good. You sure your Master is still alive?"

The question came unexpected. "Yes," Obi-Wan said defiantly. He did not know where Anakin was getting at.

"If it helps you I could – if you don't mind – I could ask the Council to give you permission to search for Master Dooku, or I could ask them to send search troops again..."

"They will not send new search troops. They've already held a symbolic funeral," Obi-Wan said bitterly. "Weren't you there?"

"No," Anakin said simply. "I guess I was on Thule then. I think... if you are so sure that he's still alive... I think they should trust in your intuition. As his Padawan, you are certainly the one closest to Dooku. If you say you still feel him through the bond you share..."

"We never shared a strong bond," Obi-Wan said sadly. "We were never as close as you and Qui-Gon. I don't feel any connection to him anymore. It's just... it feels as if the Force tells me to..." He trailed off. He felt extremely stupid saying this. He already regretted what he had admitted about the lacking of a bond between him and his Master.

"The Force tells you to go looking for him?" Anakin prodded.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I don't really know. Maybe I just misinterpreted it." He swallowed. "It's the last... hope I have."

"You mustn't give up hope, Obi-Wan," Anakin said insistently. "Go looking for him or else you might regret it for the rest of your life."

"A Jedi must not feel regret," Obi-Wan insisted, staring down at his hands.

"I do," Anakin said quietly.

Obi-Wan perfectly understood: Anakin still had not got over Qui-Gon's death and the circumstances. They both were silent for some time, Obi-Wan was staring at his hands, Anakin was drinking a new mug of stimcaf.

"If you need, no, if you _want_...," Anakin said uncertainly. "I mean, if you go looking for Master Dooku... I want you to know that, if you ever feel like it, if you want some help, you can always ask me."

Surprised, Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin. Sure, Anakin had offered his help before but under the current circumstances, it was something else. The fact that Anakin, who was involved in important battles throughout the galaxy, wanted to help Obi-Wan on his minor quest, an almost hopeless search for his Master, touched Obi-Wan deeply. "Thank you, Ana – um, Master Skywalker."

"It's 'Anakin', please," Anakin said, clearly embarrassed.

"Ah. Alright."

"It's really ridiculous that, after calling me 'Anakin' for twenty years, you should suddenly start calling me 'Master Skywalker'."

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. "I was not the one who came up with that idea."

"I know, I know." Anakin forced an apologetic grin. "I'm sorry for that. It was really inappropriate. I said it because I was angry and... most of the times I just don't act like a Jedi Master should act."

"I think you do," Obi-Wan said honestly.

Now it was Anakin's turn to be surprised. "You mean it?"

"Um, yes. I think you do fine," Obi-Wan said awkwardly. It was a bit difficult for him to acknowledge that.

"That's nice of you to say, thank you," Anakin said sincerely. "Erm, I hope this doesn't sound arrogant now, but I've still got some work to do – take part in the negotiations, finish the mission report... And I really should start now. What I'd like to ask you is: Could you contact the Council while I'm at the negotiations and tell them we'll presumably be back in three days? They need to know that because thus they can better plan where they can deploy the armies, how much supplies they need and so on. It would be really nice if you could do that."

"That's not a problem," Obi-Wan assured him. "And I've already finished the mission report. But you should better check the last passage once again, I'm not so sure if I got that right just from your notes."

"You already..." Anakin blinked a few times. "You did that?"

"Well, yes," Obi-Wan said a tad uncomfortably. "Here." He handed Anakin the datapad. "I really hope I got that right."

Anakin read the file, his brow in furrows. Obi-Wan waited nervously. Finally, Anakin put the datapad down again. "I don't know what to say..."

"Is it okay?"

"It's perfect." Anakin threw Obi-Wan a brief glance. "Really, it's... perfect. Thank you for that. Thank you very much."

"It's the least I can do," Obi-Wan said, feeling slightly self-conscious.

"The least you can do?! Honestly, Obi-Wan, you saved my life by doing that!"

"Ah, well, you're welcome." Obi-Wan grinned a little bit. "I couldn't sleep anyway with your loud snoring."

"I snore?" Anakin said interestedly.

"You definitely do. Like a... oh, I better don't say this."

"I didn't know I snore. Gee, this is really embarrassing." For the first time on this mission, there was a trace of a smile on Anakin's lips. "You could have just given me a hard kick."

"No, no, no, I'm not that inhuman," Obi-Wan protested, grinning. "Another thing you probably don't know about yourself: Your orthography is pure horror."

"I know that. Normally, I could be better. But at 2 am, orthography is a really complicated thing. Sometimes I tend to write the same sentence three times in a row."

"I only found doubled words so far."

"Thank you so much," Anakin said again. "I really appreciate what you did. It means –", he checked the chrono display on his datapad, "it means I've got still half an hour where I can do _nothing,_ and I don't have to hurry to get to the negotiations in time." He stretched thoroughly, and grimaced when his back and shoulders cracked loudly. "We could start striking our tent."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "You are incapable of resting, aren't you?"

"That's not the point. I just want to leave this planet. The earlier we get back to Coruscant, the better."

"Okay. I suggest you eat something now. I can strike the tent when you're at the negotiations."

"No, really, I don't want that. It's as if you're my secretary or something like that. I don't want to push off the, um, unimportant tasks upon you. We can clean up here together now."

Obi-Wan blushed a little bit. "Don't be stupid, Anakin. It's really alright for me to do these sorts of tasks." He meant it. It was alright because it had been his decision to do them. "It's the reasonable thing to do. You're better at battles and negotiations than me, that's not a big secret. So you do this and I can do the other things. It's not a problem."

Anakin nodded. "So it's half an hour doing nothing except for eating, I guess."

"I'd highly recommend that."

"Have you heard of Reeft recently? He was the one who was always hungry, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, that's him. I've seen him only briefly one year ago. I had returned from a mission and he had just taken his trials."

"Successful?"

"Yes. He said he wanted to train a Padawan now. Maybe one of those young ones who lost their Masters on Geonosis."

"And Siri? Has she already been knighted too?"

"Yes, almost two years ago. She already has a Padawan. Master Dooku said he is a very talented boy. I think his name was Ferus Olin."

"Never heard of him before..."

And so it went on: Obi-Wan informed Anakin about everything which had happened in the Temple during the last years. Anakin, who had been in the Temple only to be called before the Council and given a new assignment, had a lot to catch up with. It was a relaxed conversation. In the past, it had mostly been Anakin who had done the talking. Now it was Obi-Wan's turn. Time passed much too quickly and soon Anakin had to leave for the negotiations. Obi-Wan then contacted the Council (only Mace Windu, Kit Fisto and Saesee Tiin were present) and sent them the mission report.

"And we should be back in three days," he concluded.

"There's no need to come back," Master Fisto said. "We have a new mission for Master Skywalker. He must go to Senali. If you come back to Coruscant and then go to Senali, it's a detour. You can rather use the direct route to Senali."

Obi-Wan nodded gravely, feeling thoroughly bad for Anakin, who had been looking forward so much to returning home. "Masters, when you say 'you', does that include me too?"

"Yes," Master Tiin said. "Master Skywalker does not have many starfighters with him. He cannot afford spending one starfighter for you to simply return to the Temple."

_Sithhell, I'm not even worth the effort to be sen__t away. So I must stay as the fifth wheel._ "I understand, Masters," Obi-Wan said dully.

"Is Master Skywalker somewhere near you at the moment?" Master Windu asked.

"No, I'm sorry, he is taking part in the negotiations right now," Obi-Wan replied. "Is there something I can tell him?"

"No." Master Windu waved it off. "No, no, we will send him the information he needs for his new mission and maybe we will speak to him later." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Have you heard about the rumours concerning Master Skywalker and Senator Amidala?"

"Senator Amidala? The former Queen of Naboo? I, well... I think Holonet suggested once that there's a love affair between the two of them." Obi-Wan reddened slightly. He felt very stupid saying it. "But that's probably not the rumour you're speaking of," he quickly added, feeling more and more stupid with each passing second. A Jedi certainly should not read about such rumours.

"In fact, that _is_ the rumour we are speaking of," Master Windu said severely.

"Ah," was all Obi-Wan could say to that. He did not understand why the Council members would suddenly be interested in tabloids.

"What we would like to know is: Did you find any evidence that those rumours could be more than just rumours?" Master Fisto asked.

"No!" Obi-Wan said, shocked the Council suggested such a thing.

"Are you sure?" Master Fisto prodded. "Think again. In the time you spent with him – did he say something suspicious?"

"He never mentioned her," Obi-Wan stated firmly.

"Of course he didn't. He would not be that stupid as to openly admit it," Master Tiin said, slightly annoyed with Obi-Wan as it seemed. "The question is: Did he show some curious or strange attitudes which might suggest such a thing as an affair between him and Senator Amidala?"

Obi-Wan rethought the previous days. "Well, he mentioned once that he wanted to get back to Coruscant as quickly as possible," he said uneasily. "But surely that's not –"

"Indeed." The Masters exchanged dark looks. "Thank you for that bit of information, Padawan Kenobi," Master Windu said. "It helps us a lot."

"But he could have had any reason to want to return to the Temple," Obi-Wan protested. "It sounded mostly as if he just wanted to get back home and rest for a few days."

"Padawan Kenobi," Master Windu said in a very strict voice, "do you really think we only build our suspicion on your bit of information? We've heard and seen enough before, alas."

"But he's a Jedi Master," Obi-Wan said. "He wouldn't form an attachment, would he? I mean, you elected him on the Council."

"The only reason why we elected him on the Council is that we hope to be able to keep a closer eye on him like that," Master Tiin stated it as if it was self-evident.

Obi-Wan swallowed. He could not believe that. He had always thought the Masters only chose those with amazing abilities, those worthy of being a Master. This revelation shattered Obi-Wan's belief in that institution.

"Well, alright, now that we're talking plain language..." Master Windu grimaced uncomfortably. "The only reason why we allow you to accompany Skywalker is that we hope to gain some more information from you."

"You want me to spy on him?" Obi-Wan asked incredulously. "That's treason!"

"We're at war, Padawan Kenobi," Master Windu barked. "I don't like it either but it is for his best."

"I don't understand," Obi-Wan said weakly.

"We wouldn't be so concerned if it was only because of some philandering between him and a certain Senator," Master Fisto explained. "Many Padawans or Knights his age develop a crush on someone. It comes and goes. In addition to that, Senator Amidala is a handsome woman in human standard, isn't she?" He threw Master Windu a questioning glance.

"Yes, she is," he confirmed grimly. "And she's young, intelligent and idealistic and was once a queen. It's easy for a young man to fall in love with her."

"But you said his relationship with her is not the reason you are worried about him," Obi-Wan said cautiously.

Everyone nodded in grim silence until it was finally Master Windu, who spoke again. "We have traced his outgoing and, indeed, he meets Senator Amidala every time he is on Coruscant. He also sees Chancellor Palpatine regularly."

"And, um, what is bad about that?" Obi-Wan asked, clearly confused by now. They certainly would not impute something to the Supreme Chancellor?

"Chancellor Palpatine is a very clever politician, who has managed to stay in office long after his term has expired. We fear that, by establishing some sort of friendship towards Skywalker, he wants to gain control within the Jedi Council as well."

Obi-Wan was lost for words. Each word by the Masters shattered his belief in the Jedi Order and the Republic. Was everything just political games and intrigues? He could not believe that. He desperately wanted to speak to Master Yoda. He was the only person Obi-Wan fully and whole-heartedly trusted. He was sure Master Yoda would somehow be able to bring light into this matter. He could make Obi-Wan understand what was going on. But now, Obi-Wan was just confused and did not know what to believe and who to trust anymore.

"Surely you have heard the story about his mother," Master Windu continued. "Qui-Gon Jinn brought him to meet his mother without the Council's agreement. We fear Skywalker has an emotional attachment to her as well. And..." Master Windu paused and looked at the other two Masters as if to seek their agreement. No one looked at Obi-Wan when Master Windu continued explaining things to him. "We fear that he sympathises with the Separatists."

"What?!" Obi-Wan could not believe his ears. How could they say that? After everything Anakin had done for the Jedi Order and the Republic, battling on many different planets, fighting to exhaustion... How could they come up with an idea such as this one? How could they suspect Anakin to be in league with the Separatists?

"I know this sounds hard," Master Fisto said, "we don't like to suspect him either. But, alas, the signs indicate it. We know there are things he is hiding from us. It has been a long time since he has last sought to speak to any Master."

"I just don't sense any betrayal in Master Skywalker," Obi-Wan said weakly.

"You must search your feelings, Padawan Kenobi," Master Windu said insistently. "You know there is something wrong, don't you?"

Obi-Wan was silent for some time. "He mentioned some things", he finally said reluctantly.

Master Tiin inhaled sharply. "What things?"

"I don't know anymore," Obi-Wan said helplessly. "Just... things. He said something like you cannot say for sure which side is the good one and which is the bad one. It confused me a bit. But I think he was just in a strange mood. He was exhausted from a long battle."

"Yes," Master Fisto said thoughtfully, "and he did not heed his words. You must use such situations, they can tell you much about him."

"But why me?" Obi-Wan asked desperately. "We... Couldn't someone else do this?"

"You are the one closest to him," Master Windu replied. "Try to watch him during your new mission. You now know what to look for. Tell us of any suspicious things he says or does."

"I'm not close to him or anything," Obi-Wan argued. "I hardly know him. I haven't seen him for more than three years. Today we had the first conversation which was longer than three sentences on this mission."

"And that already means a lot," Master Windu said darkly. "He doesn't have such long conversations with anyone else at all. He's growing more and more distant, avoiding people,

especially the Jedi Masters. He has changed very much since Qui-Gon's death."

"I can't do this. Don't ask that of me," Obi-Wan pleaded.

"Padawan Kenobi, must I remind you that your allegiance is to the Jedi Order?" Master Tiin said strictly.

"We know it is much to ask of you," Master Windu said surprisingly kindly. "I would be more than relieved if you found out that these rumours are really nothing more but rumours. And if not, we will have to act. He needs help. I'm only worried about him, that's why I'm asking that of you."

Obi-Wan knew there was nothing he could say against it. It was an indirect order from the Council and, as Master Tiin had pointed out to him, his allegiance must be to the Jedi Order. He wished Master Dooku was here, someone to guide him. But he knew he must do this alone. And now he could not even rely on Anakin anymore.


	18. Spying

**Author's Note:** I don't know if you feel the same, but I think there haven't been many good Star Wars fics (well, fics about Anakin and Obi-Wan) on lately. So when I searched for a good fanfic I hadn't read yet, I found a really, really great one, and I felt I should tell you ;-) It's called "Slipping Into Darkness" (it's also on my favourite list, if you want to read it) and it's mostly about Anakin but has also Obi-Wan and Padmé in it. If anyone of you know about a good old fanfiction, tell me! I'm desperate to get something new to read ;-)

Thanks to my beta Sentrosi for getting through all the trouble with the quotation marks. You're a great beta reader!

About this chapter: well, this and the next one were really my problem child ;-) Originally, it was only one chapter but then I had new ideas again and again, and then it got too long, and then there was something else I had to include, and then I got a whole new idea for the plot and that meant I had to rewrite other events, and then I included scenes which were meant to happen later, and that confused everything else... well, you get the idea. I don't know how many times I have rewritten it...should be about twenty or thirty times, seriously. So I really hope it flows well and doesn't sound too patched-up.

**Warning:** This chapter contains hints at slash. But nothing really happens.

* * *

_I am a spy. _

_I am a noble Jedi-spy._

The thought almost made Obi-Wan laugh bitterly. It was so ludicrous. All of this was… so wrong. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan needed to find out the truth – whatever that meant. He needed to know. Not only because the Council had asked it of him, no, he also needed to find out for himself. He regarded Anakin as a friend, he cared for him very much, he… The idea that it could just be a farce hurt. He _wanted_ so badly to believe that Anakin was innocent. And he hated himself for doubting his friend's integrity.

Obi-Wan felt thoroughly bad, guilty, nervous and suspicious when Anakin returned from the negotiations. Anakin, however, seemed to be in a relatively good mood.

"Hello," he greeted Obi-Wan friendly. "Everything's settled. We can go home now."

"Erm, no, I'm afraid we can't," Obi-Wan said cautiously. "The Council has given you a new assignment. We must go to Senali."

Anakin's face dropped – though only for a second. He quickly put his serene, detached Jedi demeanour back on. "Alright. Did they give you some information or do they want to speak to me?"

"I've got some information," Obi-Wan replied while they were walking back to their tent. "That's why I didn't get to pack our things yet," he explained in what he hoped was a convincing voice. He had planned it: If they packed their things and struck the tent together it meant they would have to talk to each other and it gave Obi-Wan the chance to find out...whatever about Anakin.

"Sure. When do I have to arrive on Senali?"

"Three days. Going back to Coruscant and then to Senali would be a detour. It's shorter if we take the direct route."

"Did you just say 'we'?"

"What?"

"Do you mean to say you're coming too?"

"Of course."

"Why?" Anakin asked, confused.

Obi-Wan winced slightly. He really hoped Anakin believed him. "There are not enough starfighters to spend one for me to simply go back to the Temple."

"That's..." Anakin sighed deeply. "I'm sure there will be a shuttle on Senali which goes to Coruscant. And if there's not, I'll make sure you get a starfighter."

"But why?" Obi-Wan asked in shock. That couldn't happen; Anakin must not send him away!

"Why what?"

"Why do I have to go back?"

"I thought you wanted to go looking for your Master?"

Obi-Wan did not know what to say to that. He had not thought about that point at all. _Damn it, I should have never told Anakin about it._ The last time he had been sent on a mission with Anakin he had protested vehemently because he wanted to search for Master Dooku, and now he suddenly wanted to come with Anakin? That must look pretty odd to Anakin...

"Obi-Wan, listen, I don't care what the Council says," Anakin said gently. "I will not force you to come with me another time. Go back, go looking for your Master. I don't want to get into your way by dragging you along from one end of the galaxy to the other."

"But I want to come with you!" Obi-Wan spluttered helplessly.

Anakin blinked. "You – you mean it? Why would you..."

"I don't want to sit around in the Temple, meditating, while you're risking your neck somewhere out in the galaxy. It would make me feel so… useless."

"But what about Dooku?"

"Let's be realistic, Anakin," Obi-Wan tried to sound rationally. "He could be anywhere in the galaxy. As long as there are no signs of life from him, I can't do anything."

"But you said you felt something in the Force," Anakin insisted. "Search your feelings, Obi-Wan."

"I've tried," Obi-Wan retorted, "but I can't feel anything. I have no idea where he could be. _If_ he's sill alive."

"Okay. So you really want to come?"

"Yes." For reasons of credibility, Obi-Wan added, "If it doesn't bother you."

"Bother me?" Anakin repeated. "Not at all! I haven't had such a good mission as this one for years. Normally, the Council sends me on missions alone. It's good to have someone around. You're a great help to me."

Obi-Wan shrugged it off. "I know there's not much I can do but I can at least make sure you eat and sleep occasionally."

Anakin gave him one of his rare smiles. At that, Obi-Wan's heart contracted painfully. Anakin thought he really wanted to come in order to support him. What would he think of Obi-Wan once he found out he was betraying him?

"I mean it, Obi-Wan," Anakin said earnestly. "Thank you for coming with me."

Obi-Wan nodded and quickly turned away. "Let's... I mean, you should perhaps inform the clone troopers of our next destination. I'm going to pack our things in the meantime."

"Alright, see you."

_Shit! Stars End, I cannot do this!!!_ Burying his face in his hood, Obi-Wan hurried back to their tent and threw himself into his work. This spying job made him feel so shabby! He wanted to keep distance between him and Anakin – then it would not be such a terrible betrayal. But at the same time, he needed their relationship to become closer, he needed to make Anakin confide in him. He already saw the scenes in his mind: Anakin, who came back earlier than expected from a battle and thus overheard Obi-Wan telling the Council about the latest secrets he had made Anakin confess to him. Anakin's hurt and angry expression. He would send Obi-Wan back and they would never speak to each other again.

_He needs help. I'm only worried about him, that's why I'm asking that of you. _Obi-Wan desperately wanted to believe what Master Windu had told him. Maybe Anakin really needed help. _I think this war doesn't do him good. He's too young. _That was what the clone commander had told Obi-Wan. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was this horrible war which was destroying the once cheerful and big-hearted boy, who had smiled so often. Yes, Obi-Wan convinced himself. He needed to do this in order to help Anakin. If he had taken down a path the wrong side, Obi-Wan would help him come back. He only had Anakin's best interests at heart.

The rationalisation worked – though only for a short moment.

ooooooo

The journey to Senali was not very long. Anakin was busy with reading information on the situation on Senali. Obi-Wan was relieved he could put it off a bit longer. Senali seemed a beautiful planet. Much of its surface was covered with seas and islands shining in the blue water like pearls. Anakin stepped next to Obi-Wan, who was looking out of the spaceship's window during the landing approach.

"I've been here before," Anakin said softly. "With Qui-Gon. I think I was about 15 years old. Yes, 15 or 16. It all comes back now."

"You mean the memories of that mission?" Anakin nodded. "Good memories?" Obi-Wan asked cautiously.

"Yes. Definitely good memories." Lost in thought, Anakin stared out of the window.

"It looks like a beautiful planet," Obi-Wan continued the conversation. "Much water... I've always liked water."

"I know. When I was looking for you, I would always go into the Room of a Thousand Fountains. That was the only place where you meditated properly."

"Yes, I could never meditate when there were too many people around. Water and the peaceful atmosphere in the Room of a Thousand Fountains always helped me. And what about you? Which places do you like?"

"I like the stars, I think. Looking up at them makes everything look so small and unimportant."

"Small and unimportant?" Obi-Wan repeated interestedly. "What's good about unimportant?"

"Unimportant in a way that... your little worries and problems become unimportant. You can look up in the sky and see that there are so many other people who are worried and have their problems. You are just one of them. And there are so many other planets. And there were so many people before you and there are many to come after you. You see all the other systems – some of which do not even exist anymore. In such moments, I feel closer to understanding the Force than ever. I am not important, my problems will pass, and my life will not make a difference in this big universe. I feel that I'm in the hands of a greater force, the Force. Then it becomes meaningful: The Force binds us, it holds us together..." Anakin rubbed his forehead and threw Obi-Wan a side glance. "Do I bore you with my not so very sophisticated Force philosophies?"

"Not at all," Obi-Wan reassured him. "Go on."

"There's not much to go on..." Anakin heaved a deep sigh. "I wonder what this place will look like in a few days. We come here with the mission to bring peace but we leave only destruction."

Obi-Wan listened attentively. Here it was. Now he had to get some confessions out of Anakin's mouth. "So you think this war is wrong?"

"Yes."

Obi-Wan swallowed. So the Council's suspicions were not made up out of thin air. "Why?" he asked, his voice slightly trembling.

"War is always wrong."

"You think we should leave this planet to the Separatists?" Obi-Wan prodded.

"Maybe. Maybe that would be better for the inhabitants. They would have to live under the Separatists' rule, yes, but they would still be alive and their planet's nature and towns would not be destroyed."

"But that would mean enslavement!"

"So what?" Anakin retorted sharply. "Oh yes, there are always the heroic ones, the loud ones, who say, 'I will die for freedom!' But I bet you'd get very different answers if you asked a mother or a father, 'Would you rather want your children dead or dependant?' Haven't you seen people grieving for their beloved ones? At that moment, they couldn't care less for freedom or democracy."

"And that's exactly the reason why the Jedi Code forbids attachment. Don't you see it? If you have attachments, you become selfish and you care more for the few people who are special to you than for the greater good."

Shaking his head uncomprehendingly, Anakin looked severely at Obi-Wan. "Am I to tell them that next time? 'Stop being so selfish. Your child must be sacrificed _for the greater good_'. I wonder what is so good about this greater good that it is worth to sacrifice innocent children for it. And then what do we have? Democracy, yeah, that's great. And a galaxy without attachment... I don't think it would work."

"Where do you get such ideas from?" Obi-Wan asked directly.

"You get such ideas if you see people die," Anakin said darkly. "I can't help but wonder what they are dying for."

"I understand that, I think we should let the Separatists do as they wish," Obi-Wan lied. It was his new tactic. He pretended to favour the Separatists and maybe Anakin would tell him more if he felt sure to say it because Obi-Wan shared his opinion. _Let's just hope I don't get myself into signing up for the Separatists_. "The Separatists' rule would be better than this senseless killing." Anakin threw him a funny glance, so Obi-Wan quickly continued. "But there's nothing we can do to stop it, is there? I mean, we can't go against the Council and the Senate."

"Yes, because we're Jedi and we have sworn our oaths. That's the reason, isn't it? Sometimes I wonder what–" But at that precise moment, Anakin was interrupted by a clone trooper who informed him that they were ready to debark. Obi-Wan cursed that trooper for disrupting their conversation. He was so sure Anakin had been close to saying something important concerning the Separatist movement. Obi-Wan wasn't completely certain what he had found out so far. Anakin had proved to be very critical of this war and the Jedi principles but, so far, it did not sound as if he had any evil motives. He seemed only compassionate – maybe he cared too much for people, if that was even possible. Maybe he could not cope with what he had seen in war. And now he was looking for an alternative and was contemplating the Separatists, which was, of course, the wrong way. In any case, Obi-Wan was sure Anakin's actions were only born from the will to do good.

ooooooo

They had still two free days left until the delegates from the Separatists would arrive. There were of course meetings with important politicians from Senali and its neighbour planet Rutan, there were preparations in case it came to a war... However, the atmosphere was relaxed, Senali really was a nice planet, their inhabitants were hospitable (many still remembered Anakin from his last mission and wanted to invite him to dinner), its nature was peaceful... Nothing suggested that a war could break loose in a few days. The Senalians did not seem to consider the possibility that something like that could happen on their lovely home planet.

Obi-Wan used the free time to gather information on Senator Amidala because part of his duty…well, _spying job_ was to find out more about the relationship between Anakin and her. He did not really enjoy reading all the holo-tabloids with all the extremely dumb headlines.

_THE QUEEN AND HER JEDI KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR – A WONDERFUL FAIRY__ TALE. WILL THERE BE A HAPPY END?_

_PADMÉ AMIDALA: THE CHOSEN ONE'S CHOSEN ONE._

_THE LONE WARRIOR – NOT ALONE ANYMORE?_

And the pictures… They were even worse. They showed Anakin and Senator Amidala looking in shock into the holocamera as if they had been caught in the act. There were several pictures showing the two of them embracing. Or just smiling at each other. There was one holograph of Senator Amidala wearing a very revealing evening dress and Anakin wrapping an arm around her slim shoulders.

_CORUSCANT'S NEW DREAM COUPLE_

Obi-Wan glared at the picture in frustration. Of course they were a dream couple. They looked perfect together. For some reason, that bothered him greatly…and not only because he was worried about Anakin breaking the Jedi Code.

Obi-Wan went on with his research, this time looking for Senator Amidala's political activities and not for rumours. Though, Obi-Wan had to admit it to himself, he did not really believe anymore it were just rumours.

Among all the speeches against the war and the armament, he found something else: She led a campaign which was to abolish slavery on Tatooine. Slavery… Tatooine… The pieces started to fall into place. This could not be coincidence anymore. There were too many planets where slavery still existed. So why had Senator Amidala chosen Tatooine of all planets? Obi-Wan did not like the answer. He did not like _any_ of this.

So he tried to ignore his duty and spent more time on improving his lightsaber skills instead. It was odd but he thought he was getting better without Master Dooku watching him critically all the time. And yet, no matter how much his technique improved, he wanted nothing more but to have his strict, critical, dignified Master back. Sometimes Obi-Wan had suffered under Dooku's strict teaching and his detached attitude, sometimes he had wished for a Master who was more like Qui-Gon Jinn, he had longed for more warmth and intimacy in their relationship. But only now that his Master was not with him anymore, he realised how much he needed him, needed him not only as a teacher but also as a father figure. _Master, did I ever tell you how much you mean to me? _

Obi-Wan stopped in his lightsaber moves. _Master Dooku would be really disappointed of me right now. I linger in the past; I let my attachment towards him disturb my training... _He could almost hear his Master's deep voice: _Concentrate, Padawan. You are not paying attention to your surroundings. Your stabs are not precise. Watch your footwork. _Smiling slightly to himself, Obi-Wan tensed his muscles and concentrated on the flow of the Force. He started with a series of rather basic katas anew. He always trained the easiest moves again and again. His earlier lightsaber combat teacher Soara Antana had influenced him that much. The easy moves were the important ones. You hardly needed the complex ones in real battle. It was essential to master the basic moves so you could rely on them without thinking.

Finally, after all the years of hard training in Dooku's special lightsaber technique, Obi-Wan felt he was getting – very slowly but steadily – to a level where this was happening, where his arms and legs were moving automatically. At least he _hoped_ he was getting there. Maybe he had only this illusion because he did not see every day how well Master Dooku fought and how much he still had to learn.

Obi-Wan felt a soft ripple in the Force. Someone was watching him. Anakin. Somehow, the knowledge that Anakin was watching him, made him very nervous. He tried to continue with his lightsaber practice as if nothing was wrong. _Show him how much you have improved since he has last seen you fight_. But with Anakin's eyes on him, every kata was suddenly twice as difficult. Obi-Wan's moves were not really clumsy but they were becoming a tad awkward occasionally. He felt unbalanced. So he stopped at some point and turned to Anakin. Why wait for Anakin to offer to fight a sparring match? Obi-Wan could suggest it just as well.

"Shall we fight a little duel?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow with his sleeve.

"Why not?" Anakin got up from his sitting position in the sand, put down his cloak and walked towards Obi-Wan. "I haven't fought against another Jedi for quite some time."

"Do you need a few exercises to warm up?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Do you need a little rest from your training before we start the duel?" Anakin retorted the challenge.

Obi-Wan grinned. "Alright, let's just start."

They ignited their lightsaber, bowed and then the duel began. Obi-Wan let Anakin attack first – as he had always done. Anakin was still much better than him and there was no way he could win against him but Obi-Wan did not fight in order to win. It was only training, after all. It was lightsaber practice at this nice place, where you could drop yourself in the warm sand and thus dodge your sparring partner's lightsaber. Exotic trees, through which you could catch glimpses on the sea one or two miles away, surrounded the "fighting arena". Everything was quiet except for the humming of their lightsabers, and their (well, mostly Obi-Wan's) pants. He could not win against Anakin, no, but his different fighting style allowed him to successfully parry Anakin's slashes. Once, he even managed to stalemate Anakin. Anakin's back was pressed against a tree's trunk and their lightsabers were locked. It was a decision of sheer muscular strength. Unexpectedly, Anakin let go of his lightsaber and dropped down on the ground. Obi-Wan's lightsaber met only the tree's thick bark, and next moment, Anakin's arms had wrapped around his ankles, he lost his balance (and his lightsaber) and landed on the ground too. For some time, they continued some sort of wrestling in the sand without their lightsabers. Unfortunately, Anakin was the stronger one and it did not take him long to have Obi-Wan on the ground flat on his stomach, his arms on his back in Anakin's tight grip. Anakin used the Force to summon his lightsaber in his hand and placed it on Obi-Wan's neck.

"Game over," he declared.

"Is that so? I haven't yielded yet." Obi-Wan tried to sound superior but it was difficult if your breath came in ragged pants, you got lots of sand in your mouth, someone was pressing you down on the ground and that someone also had his lightsaber on your neck.

"Oh, fine, if you insist, I can decapitate you," Anakin said good-naturedly.

"You can_not_, your lightsaber is set to low power," Obi-Wan contradicted him.

"But _if_ this was a real duel, I would have decapitated you before long."

Obi-Wan spit some sand which had got between his teeth again, then he abruptly jerked his head up against Anakin's hand. Naturally, his neck got burned during the movement but it was not that bad. And it was definitely worth it – because he caught Anakin off guard. Surprised by Obi-Wan's action, Anakin loosened his grip on Obi-Wan's arms for a tiny moment, and Obi-Wan used that moment to turn around and grab Anakin's wrist which held the lightsaber. "Jedi don't deal in what-ifs," Obi-Wan said, grinning, while he pinned Anakin's hand down on the ground.

"I can't believe you did that," Anakin said incredulously but he was chuckling nonetheless while trying in vain to free himself from Obi-Wan's grip. "You're _cheating_, Obi-Wan. I had won! You're a Jedi but you're _cheating!_"

"Too bad," Obi-Wan said and twisted Anakin's wrist so long until Anakin had to let go of his lightsaber if he did not want his arm to break. "_Now_ it's game over," Obi-Wan said superiorly. "Are you sure?" Anakin extended his free hand and called Obi-Wan's lightsaber, which lay forgotten in the sand, to him. But Obi-Wan had seen it coming. He extended his free hand as well, blocking Anakin's attempts in the Force. Suddenly, the lightsaber was surrounded by both their Force energies. It twitched slightly forth and back as if it could not decide to whom it should go. Obi-Wan was surprised his powers were strong enough to equal Anakin's. But as every Jedi knows, too much vanity and self-confidence can be dangerous. So Anakin used Obi-Wan's momentary distraction, freed himself from his grip and, in the blink of an eye, they had their lightsabers pointed at each other's heart.

"Hm." Anakin looked down at the blue blade close to his chest. "Let's call it a draw?"

"Nonsense." Obi-Wan lowered his lightsaber. "I yield."

"Are you sure this time? Or is it a trick again?" Anakin challenged him.

"I mean it. I wouldn't want to say of myself that the first time I won – or achieved a draw, for that matter – against Anakin Skywalker was because I cheated."

Anakin grinned, deactivated his lightsaber and dropped down in the sand. "It's good to know that there's at least some honour in you."

Obi-Wan shrugged and sat down next to Anakin in the warm sand. Anakin was not nearly as exhausted by the duel as Obi-Wan, who was sweating and gasping for air, but at least Anakin's breath had quickened somewhat. Of course, Obi-Wan could not win against him but he had made a point. "Well, congratulations," Obi-Wan panted.

"You fought well," Anakin replied in the standard sentence. "We should do that tomorrow again."

"Yeah, that would be great," Obi-Wan agreed.

Anakin bent over to examine the burn Obi-Wan had taken upon himself when he had struggled against defeat. "You're so crazy, Obi-Wan," Anakin said softly but he seemed slightly amused. "Getting yourself injured just because of a training duel…" Obi-Wan just smiled. "Is it really so important to win?" Anakin asked.

"No… I just thought it would be fun to continue sparring…" Obi-Wan trailed off. Why was Anakin looking at him like that? He had such an intense gaze and… Obi-Wan had no idea what was so special about Anakin's eyes. They were not bluer or brighter than anyone else's eyes but they were…Anakin's eyes. Right. And that's why they were very special. Because Anakin was very, very special too. Obi-Wan had already forgotten what they were talking about and Anakin's look made him feel slightly uneasy. So he just lay back in the sand and closed his eyes, relaxing in the warm sunlight.

They stayed there for hours. Obi-Wan thought it was perfect: just him and Anakin and this beautiful, peaceful planet. He had not felt so good in weeks. They were not talking; they just lay in the sand, a comfortable silence between them. For this moment, Obi-Wan could pretend nothing was wrong. He neither thought of his Master nor of his spying job nor of the war.

Then, however, Anakin, who had obviously fallen asleep, started snoring quietly and disturbed the silence. Obi-Wan sat up and watched Anakin sleep. He liked doing this: watching Anakin. He had done it a lot during the last days – and not only because it was his duty to spy on him. Anakin was always quiet and composed, polite and reticent – as a good Jedi should be. Yet he was reserved and he often seemed distant. Obi-Wan knew there were things Anakin was burying deep within himself, things he did not tell anyone. There was always some incredible sadness clouding him. It was as if even the Force around him grieved with – or for – him. But in a certain way, that sadness made Anakin even more beautiful. Sad and beautiful, yes, these were the two words which best depicted Anakin Skywalker nowadays.

Now he seemed to be peaceful in a dreamless sleep. Obi-Wan studied his relaxed features. The Hero With No Fear looked vulnerable like this. Now he was not the strong and self-controlled General he was in battle and at meetings. Seeing him like this woke a strange feeling of protectiveness in Obi-Wan.

His eyes wandered to Anakin's slightly parted lips. He could not help but wonder what it would feel like if they kissed again. He knew he should not think about such things but the memories of Anakin's lips, wet and salty from his tears, returned again and again.

_I'm in love with him_, Obi-Wan thought, not really surprised at the realisation. Somehow, it had always been there. Yes, he had known for a long time he felt deeply for Anakin but he had not admitted how deep his feelings really ran until today. He did not know when it had happened. Maybe on Naboo, when Anakin had helped him overcome his fear and had taught him to swim again. The feeling had been there, even before the kiss Anakin had given him. That strange kiss... Obi-Wan softly sighed and tried to look anywhere but at Anakin. They were so close... They had been even closer when they had fought their duel, which had continued as a wrestling in the sand. Obi-Wan still felt Anakin's hands on him, his strong grip, which was, however, never so tight it would hurt. Back then, Obi-Wan had not realised the closeness of the moment. It had been nothing but a fight and he had only focussed on attacking and defending. Like the kiss... It had not been about love. It had been an extreme situation, and Anakin had been desperate and crazy with grief. He certainly had not realised what he had done. And Obi-Wan had only wanted to comfort him, he had not had any hidden thoughts at all. Afterwards, they had pretended nothing had happened. And that was the truth: There was nothing which had happened. It had been a gesture of friendship – brotherly love, nothing else. They had never spoken about it. Of course, they had not. They had hardly seen each other in the following years. Anakin had become a Knight and then a Master. He had changed so much... The passionate, desperate boy who had kissed Obi-Wan had turned into a serene, grim young man. It had happened in the blink of an eye.

When a slight sunburn was beginning to form on Anakin's nose, Obi-Wan gently nudged him awake. He could not avoid that his heart gave a happy squeeze when Anakin's eyes fluttered sleepily open and his lips curved into a little smile upon seeing Obi-Wan.

"You'll get a bad sunburn if you don't move out of the sun," Obi-Wan said and reached out his hand to help Anakin get up. The touch of their hands caused a feeling of hot-cold to tingle through Obi-Wan's body. He held Anakin's hand for just a little moment longer than necessary and pretended it meant something that Anakin had not let go so quickly either.


	19. The Truth?

The next day did not go as smoothly as the last. Obi-Wan was the first one to wake up because Anakin mostly used his free time for sleeping. Obi-Wan went outside to do his morning exercise – some meditation and lightsaber practise. When he returned to their tent an hour later, he heard Anakin talking to someone. Undecidedly, Obi-Wan approached the tent. Normally, he would just go inside. Anakin was probably only talking to his commanders, instructing them for the upcoming battle, discussing tactics… Nevertheless, Obi-Wan hesitated. Careful not to make a noise, he put his ear against the side of the tent.

"It's a shame they already sent you on a new mission again, Anakin," said the person who was talking to Anakin. The voice, a male voice, was faintly familiar to Obi-Wan but he could not identify it yet. "As much as I know you are a good warrior… one of the best warriors… what the Council does to you is inhuman. I must say I'm worried about the Jedi Order. When have they ceased to care for individuals? Forgive me for saying it, but I'm afraid the Jedi are more interested in politics and wars than in their sacred principles nowadays."

"I guess the war affects everyone," Anakin said vaguely.

"Yes, yes, unfortunately… Listen, Anakin, if you want, I can speak to the Council and convince them to allow you to discontinue that mission and come back to Coruscant."

"That's a very generous offer of you, Chancellor, but I have to finish this mission and hopefully I will come back to Coruscant afterwards."

So Anakin was speaking to Chancellor Palpatine… Obi-Wan's heart sank. Another one of the Council's suspicions had already proven to be true. From what he heard, it sounded much like the Chancellor tried to influence Anakin and thus infiltrate the Council. Did Anakin not notice or… Obi-Wan gulped. Or were there other motives behind his actions? Did Anakin seek to increase his own power? No, that was something a Jedi would never do and Anakin was a Jedi through and through… Wasn't he?!

"My boy, I can see you are not well," Chancellor Palpatine said kindly to Anakin. He seemed genuinely concerned. "Someone else can do that mission on Senali. I'm really worried about your well-being – both physical and mental."

"Thank you for your concern, Chancellor," Anakin replied politely, "but I'm fine, really. Besides, Obi-Wan accompanies me on this mission and he's a great help to me. So I guess this mission will not be as exhausting as others."

"Who is that Obi-Wan that accompanies you? Another Jedi?"

"Yes. We trained together in the Temple as young boys. I haven't seen him for a very long time. But it's good to have someone around. I guess he is the closest thing I have to a friend."

Obi-Wan's heart clenched painfully at that. _What am I doing here?_ he sadly asked himself. _I'm spying on the person I love. Spying… Loving… Things a Jedi shouldn't do. I should stop now. I should go away._ But he did not go away. With an odd mix of dread and fascination, he stayed to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Ah, you mean Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi who killed the Sith on Naboo?" Palpatine asked.

"Yes, that's him."

"He was Dooku's apprentice, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

"Poor boy… That's so tragic, all the young apprentices who lose their Masters in this horrible war," Palpatine sighed, his voice sounding tired from worry.

"Obi-Wan believes Dooku is still alive," Anakin said cautiously.

"Excuse me? What gives him that idea?" Palpatine said, obviously confused. "I'm sorry to say so, but Dooku has already been missing in action for almost four months. Or did he contact his Padawan somehow?"

"I don't really know but Obi-Wan said he felt something in the Force. You know, a Master and a Padawan share a bond in the Force, through which they can feel each other's presence and sometimes even emotions," Anakin explained.

"Forgive me, my boy, but I do not have much knowledge in the Force and the Jedi's practices. Of course I would be more than glad if Dooku had somehow miraculously survived. Dooku was one of our best Generals…" It was obvious from his tone that he doubted there was a chance that Dooku was still among the living.

"Couldn't you send a new search party for Dooku?" Anakin asked hopefully.

"We do not have many clones left to spare… However…" The Chancellor contemplated it for a while. "Do you really think there could still be hope? As a general you know very well that such a decision to send new troops cannot be made in haste. Every decision brings so much responsibility… That's why I ask you, Anakin, as a general and one of the greatest Jedi: Do you think it would be wise to continue the search for Dooku? I trust your judgement on this."

"Hm…" Anakin remained silent for a while. Obi-Wan strained his ears to take in every little sound. His heart raced in his chest. "Yes, please send a new search party," Anakin finally said quietly.

"I'll see what I can do," the Chancellor agreed. "I fear it will be difficult to convince the Jedi of this. Such a desperate search would certainly go against the Jedi principle of acceptance."

"There are other Jedi principles. Such as following the will of the Force…"

"And in case Dooku is really still alive, what will happen to you then?"

"Erm, excuse me, Chancellor, I don't quite follow you," Anakin said politely though a bit confused.

"If I got that right you got Dooku's place on the Council. If he returns, will you be dismissed from the Council?"

"I did not think about it yet. But yes, that will probably happen," Anakin said noncommittally.

"I suppose you wouldn't mind if you were not on the Council anymore, would you?" Palpatine said understandingly. "With all the other duties you have you are certainly busy enough."

"I will do what I must," Anakin said firmly. "If the Republic or the Jedi Order need me, I will do my duty."

Palpatine sighed sadly. "I just wish everyone was like you. Neither in the Republic nor in the Jedi Order is much sense of honour left."

"I'm sure every Jedi does their duty," Anakin said somewhat stiffly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Anakin, I didn't mean to offend you," Palpatine apologised quickly. "I know how much the Jedi mean to you," he said and almost sounded affectionate. "I'm sure they are like family to you."

Anakin did not answer to that. _And his so-called family is suspecting him and spying on him_, Obi-Wan thought guiltily. _What kind of a family is that?_

After that, the Chancellor excused himself because he had to attend a political meeting now. Feeling sick and dirty for what he had done, Obi-Wan wanted to leave quickly but just then he heard another voice, a female voice this time. Against his better judgement, he stayed.

"Hello Anakin," the person said.

"Padmé!" Anakin exclaimed. His voice sounded suddenly so much more enthusiastic than when he had spoken to the Chancellor. In fact, he sounded happier and _younger. _"How are you?"

"Anakin, I need to speak to you because of _you-know-what_. Is there anyone nearby who could hear us now?"

"Wait a moment…," Anakin said and for a moment there was silence in the tent. Obi-Wan held his breath. "I think Obi-Wan is somewhere near," Anakin said quietly. "I feel his presence… I'll check quickly if he's here. I'll be back in a minute."

Obi-Wan did not need another word. Very, very quickly and very, very quietly, he sneaked away. He wandered off to the seashore and sat down in the wet sand. He felt dirty and disgusted by his own actions. He hated himself because he started doubting and suspecting Anakin. And yet, these suspicions were very obviously justified. Still… did any of that justify spying? Gloomily, Obi-Wan glared at the windswept sea.

If the Council had never asked him to do this dirty work, he would never have found out about…things. He would have been able to go on living like before. Ignorance could be a blessing. But the truth was and would always stay…the truth.

Tiredly, Obi-Wan got up and went to contact the Council and report to them what he had just witnessed. _Anakin, what have you gotten yourself into?_ he wondered sadly. But when he sat in front of the comm console, he could not bring himself to speak to the Council. He could not do it, he just could not do it. He would wait and gather more information. No, he would simply ask Anakin. He would confront him and ask him directly. He could not go on like this any longer, it tore him to pieces inwardly. _Sure, simply ask him…That's going to be fun. Like "Hi Anakin, I've been spying on you for the last days. I need some information if you're a criminal. Could you help me?"_

ooooooo

Their sparring match in the afternoon went well enough again but afterwards... It all started with Anakin saying after the match, "I love training duels. It's just fun, you know? Of course you pretend it's important to win and it _is_ important in a certain way but you would never hurt your sparring partner purposefully, would you? In a training duel, you can always stop."

They lay next to each other in the sand. Obi-Wan was still recovering his breath from the duel, Anakin lay flat on his stomach and was drawing circles in the sand with his fingers. Obi-Wan remembered what Kit Fisto had told him: _He was exhausted from a long battle and he did not heed his words. You must use such situations, they can tell you much about him_. Now was probably such a situation. Anakin was still slightly exhausted from their training match and maybe that would make him give something away more freely. Obi-Wan hated what he had to do but it was his duty to the Jedi Order. He could not avoid it.

"Do you think there is a way to stop this war?" he asked.

"I'm not sure if it's still possible. There are some senators who have not given up hope yet. They want to stop the fighting and let diplomacy resume. But you know what it's like with the Senate."

"They debate, debate, debate, and in the end they decide to discuss it in a committee," Obi-Wan said. Both of them were influenced by their Masters, who had shared a critical attitude towards politicians.

"Yes, but still..." Anakin argued. "I would prefer debates to violence."

"Senator Amidala is one of the senators who demand that, isn't she?" Obi-Wan said pretended offhandedly.

"Yes, she's very pacifist," Anakin agreed.

"Have you spoken to her about it?" Obi-Wan prodded.

"A few times," Anakin said and turned to look at Obi-Wan. "Why are you asking?"

Obi-Wan sat up so he could avoid Anakin's eyes. "Well, some of the things you said sounded much like the stuff she said in her last address to the Senate."

"Ah. What is so unusual about it? I think it would be good if more people shared her opinions. She is a very intelligent and strong woman and a good politician. I admire her."

Obi-Wan was growing more and more uneasy. That sounded much like Anakin had an attachment towards her. He really did not want to meddle in Anakin's personal affairs. And a little part of him was jealous that Anakin was maybe in love with Senator Amidala. "Why do you admire her?"

"Because she still believes so firmly in... well, in everything. Peace, democracy, freedom, justice... It's difficult to keep your belief in it when you see war and injustice becoming routine nowadays."

"Yes, that's true... And you? What do you believe in?" Obi-Wan asked directly.

"I don't know what to believe in anymore," Anakin muttered.

Obi-Wan swallowed. "I don't know what to believe in anymore either," he said very quietly.

Anakin now sat up too so he could look Obi-Wan in the eye. "They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?"

Obi-Wan winced in shock and quickly looked away. How had Anakin found out? How could he state it so calmly? And how could Obi-Wan ever justify himself for what he had done? He blinked away a few unshed tears. "I don't know... I don't know what to say..." he said helplessly.

"I know the Council don't trust me," Anakin said still unusually calmly. "How long?"

"How long what?" Obi-Wan asked miserably.

"Well, how long have you been spying on me, of course!" Anakin replied, suddenly in a hard voice.

"Since the day we left Praesitlyn," Obi-Wan answered guiltily.

"I thought so," Anakin said grimly.

"You – you knew?" Obi-Wan said weakly.

"I'm not a complete idiot, Obi-Wan," Anakin said harshly.

Obi-Wan did not know what to say to that. He wished he had never done it. He wished he had spoken up on the Council meeting and had declared he would never do that, he would never spy on Anakin.

At last, Anakin spoke again and he was perfectly calm again, a textbook example of Jedi-self-control. "Have you found out what you wanted to know?"

"I never wanted to do that, I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan pleaded.

"I'm sure you didn't want it," Anakin said but Obi-Wan was not sure if he really meant it. "Just ask the questions you need to know."

"I... I..." Obi-Wan stuttered helplessly.

"Do they want to know about Padmé, about Senator Amidala?"

Obi-Wan nodded, staring ashamedly down at his hands. He could hardly tell Anakin that the Council had even traced his outgoing.

"Alright. Yes, I have a sort of an attachment towards her. We are friends. But they needn't worry. It could never become a strong attachment, I can hardly see her if I'm always away from Coruscant, right? I sometimes communicate with her via hologram but she's very busy as well. But speaking to her helps me. She understands. Some people probably do not realise it but I'm not a battle droid. But, there's no secret marriage, we do not have children who are hidden somewhere on an uninhabited planet..."

"I never suggested anything like that –"

Anakin interrupted him with a sharp glance. "Don't you think it's time to finally stop lying? It's pretty obvious what you suggest."

Ashamed, Obi-Wan hung his head and kept silent.

"Next point would be my mother, right?" Anakin continued businesslike. "Yes, I know her. Qui-Gon brought me to see her when I was thirteen years old. I know he got in trouble with the Council because of that but Qui-Gon was someone who had enough courage to defy the Council. He did what he thought was right." Obi-Wan bit his lip. He very well understood the sideswipe. "But I haven't seen my mother since then. You can tell the Council I miss her. I miss her very much and I often wish she was here. The Chancellor?" Obi-Wan closed his eyes and nodded weakly. "They think he wants to influence me so he gains more power within the Jedi Council, don't they? Well, I do not really know what he wants from me – maybe they are right and he wants to increase his influence. He sometimes invites me to talk to him. He tells me things I know anyway. And he tries to appeal to my pride, he butters me up, you know? He probably expects me to tell him things if he just tells me often enough what a great Jedi I am. I didn't tell him any Jedi secrets so far. At least I'm not aware of having done so. Right." Anakin took a deep breath. "Is there something else you want to know? Some point I missed?"

"Um, well..." Obi-Wan uncomfortably cleared his throat. "Actually, there is something else. Some, um, a few think, no, they _fear_... Anakin, they're only worried about you. They really want to help you."

Anakin grimaced. "Go on, I am curious now."

"Some fear you sympathise with the Separatists," Obi-Wan said unhappily.

"Oh, right, this is something new for a change," Anakin said cynically. "How very inventive! Great idea. I really wonder why they send me non-stop to the most important battles if they distrust me so much." He could no longer hide the bitterness from his voice. "If I were in their place, I would try to keep me under control, bind me to the Jedi Temple so they can have a closer watch on me. I would be thankful for that, Obi-Wan! I would be _thankful_ if I was allowed to stay in the Temple for _just one week_! If they so much want to help me, why then can't they let me rest in the Temple for a few days, let me meditate with Master Yoda, let me take a Padawan! A Padawan would be so perfect! My Padawan could spy on me day and night and report to the Council. Oh, they're probably afraid that I manipulate the young children. Teach them the dark side, or something like that." Anakin noticed how he had let himself go and quickly strived to calm down his agitated breathing. He got up on his feet. "Well, now you can tell the Council I get easily angry on top of everything. Is there anything else you need to know before you leave?"

The words hurt but of course Obi-Wan had seen it coming. Naturally, Anakin would send him away now. Obi-Wan would be equally angry if he discovered someone had been spying on him. "I haven't told them anything yet," he said earnestly, "and I will not tell them anything."

Anakin slowly shook his head. "Go on, tell them. I have nothing to hide." He looked down at Obi-Wan. "Some of your lies were quite good and I almost believed them. But it was pretty obvious what you were doing. You still have much to learn."

"I'm glad I'm not that good at spying," Obi-Wan said quietly.

Anakin was silent for some time. "Yes, you're right," he muttered. "You're not the one who is really responsible for it."

"Anakin, please, I'm very sorry for what I did. I hate myself for doing it. I hated myself every second during the last days."

Anakin nodded without looking at him. "It's alright, Obi-Wan. They shouldn't have asked you to do something which is against the Jedi Code." His voice was tired and dull. He turned around to leave. "Go now."

Obi-Wan slowly got on his feet. "I'm sorry," he said again, helplessly staring at Anakin's retreating back.

"I accept your apology." Anakin paused and turned around to briefly look at Obi-Wan. "It's over now. You can go. Take one of the starfighters but please not one of the X-Wing class, I need those. Thanks again for your help." With that, Anakin walked away. His head was up and his gait was confident but there was still that sadness around him.


	20. Birth of Insanity

**Author's Note:** This chapter is for all you great reviewers who told me that the last chapter was so sad. I didn't realise the last chapter had such a sad ending. I didn't mean to do it like that...This chapter and chapters 18 and 19 were one chapter once, a long time ago... But then the chapter lengthened and I couldn't stop it and suddenly I had three chapters ;-) So, this chapter starts right where the last left.

Warning: It's going to be fluff...and sappy... could be considered pre-slash.

Review replies are as always on my profile page.

If you wonder what the name of this chapter means - don't worry, I don't know it either ;-) I didn't know how to call it and so I asked my readers for suggestions. I said I'd take the first suggestion and this is it: I'm proud to present you:

Chapter 20: The Birth of Insanity! Enjoy!

* * *

Anakin had wandered off to the seashore. He was staring at the green sea, the red light of the setting sun sparkled in the water. Some sort of tiny seagulls were flying in a flock above the waves, squawking happily and sometimes diving down to catch a fish or other food, for which the birds would quarrel loudly. Anakin followed them with his eyes. He tried to tell himself that his eyes were only burning because the soft wind was blowing the salty air into them and because he was staring right into the glowing red sunlight. He did not cry. He had not cried since Qui-Gon's death more than five years ago. Back then, he had decided to stop it. He had vowed to himself to never do it again; form an attachment. 

He must not cry now.

Was it too much to ask? Couldn't he have at least just one friend in this cold universe? Did being the Chosen One mean being alone? Was it his fate?

Angrily, he used the Force to pick up a rock in his hand and vigorously threw it into the sea, where it sank down with a little _plop_. He called up another rock in his hand, threw it as wide as he could and used the Force to intensify its flight, so that it caused a splash which was normally too big for such a little rock. He laughed harshly at his own idiocy. A Jedi Master throwing rocks into the water because he was angry… Normally, Anakin was a very composed, very serene Jedi Master. He seldom lost his temper. But every time he did, it was Obi-Wan's fault. Okay, the thing back on their thirteenth birthday when he had almost drowned Obi-Wan had not been entirely Obi-Wan's fault. But Obi-Wan had been involved. Anakin did not know what it was about Obi-Wan but he could always make Anakin act un-Jedi-like.

"_Oh. You worry too much, my dear Padawan. What gives you the idea I didn't know today was your thirteenth birthday? I just wanted to wait until I'm fully awake because I wanted to say something more intelligent... But since you insist... Happy birthday, Anakin Skywalker. It's good to have you as my Padawan. And here's your birthday present. I hope you like it. And you should learn to control your impatience." _

"_Thank you, Master. I'm sorry I suggested you had forgotten... It's Force-sensitive, isn't it?"_

"_Yes, it is. I didn't expect you to sense it so quickly. I found it when I was a little boy and I've kept it with me since then. It has always brought me luck."_

"_Luck? And I always thought Jedi don't believe in luck."_

"_Well, you could say it brought me the Force. It used to comfort me when the situation was desperate."_

Anakin gave a strangled sob and sank down on his knees. His fingers flexed convulsively in the sand. He had nothing left to comfort him when the situation was desperate. Nothing but his memories. But the memories did not comfort him, quite the contrary. It were those memories which hurt so much and made him feel despair. How he whished he could just get rid of them!

"Qui-Gon…," he whispered. _I miss you so much._ But his Master was gone. And so was his mother. No one was there for him anymore. He pulled his knees to his chest and started humming very lowly the song which his mother had once sung to him. Sometimes it helped during the long and lonely nights after battles, when he was so tired he wanted nothing more but sleep but sleep did not come nonetheless.

He closed his eyes and tried to revive the feeling of the song… Being held protectively against a warm body which gently rocked him back and forth…a soft voice murmuring words to him, words without a meaning but the sound of them was enough to make him feel secure…a steady heartbeat, a chest heaving and falling gently…

He was so engaged in his memory that he did not notice Obi-Wan approaching until he demonstratively cleared his throat. Anakin turned to look at Obi-Wan, who nervously hovered two metres behind him. Hastily, Anakin scrambled to his feet. He must look like a lunatic… He bit back a hurt _What are you still doing here?! _and just kept silent instead.

"I... came to say goodbye."

Anakin nodded, a big lump in his throat. A part of him was glad Obi-Wan had come to say goodbye. It was of course the polite thing to do, but Anakin was glad he had come nonetheless. He just wanted to get it over quickly so he would not make a complete fool of himself. Both of them were silent for a long moment, neither of them knowing what to say. Twilight was falling and there were shadows on Obi-Wan's face so Anakin couldn't recognise his expression. But his posture looked somewhat defeated with his shoulders slumped and his head hanging… It reminded Anakin oddly of the twelve-year-old Jedi student who had thought he would be sent away to the Agri Corps. Back then, Anakin had thought it was their final goodbye and they would never see each other again. As it seemed, that was the case now again. But this time, Anakin had not the energy, the hope and the vitality anymore of his younger self who had simply refused to give up.

"It's getting dark," Obi-Wan finally said to break the uncomfortable silence.

Anakin felt again the bubble of bitter laughter well up in his chest. _It's getting dark. Great. We could talk about the weather. What do you think? Nice sunshine for the battle tomorrow?_

"You should probably go back and… you know, with the battle tomorrow…," Obi-Wan continued helplessly.

"Just what do you want to tell me, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked wearily. "That you're sorry? Because you already said it several times." Obi-Wan did not reply anything to it. "Well…," Anakin muttered and tiredly rubbed his forehead. _Now that we're going to say goodbye, let's at least get a few things sorted out._ "Can I ask you a question before you leave?" he asked straightforwardly.

"Sure."

"Did you ever forgive me for almost drowning you? You know, on our thirteenth birthday?"

"Yes. Yes, of course," Obi-Wan replied uncertainly. "It has been a long time. I don't even think about it anymore. You helped me overcome my fear, and now it's over." Obi-Wan paused, then he made a step back as if to turn away, then he turned back again. He seemed undecided what to do. Finally, he asked, "Do you think you can ever forgive me for what I have done?"

So Obi-Wan cared for that? He needed Anakin's forgiveness? "I have already done that," Anakin reassured him. "As I said before, it's not really your fault."

"But when will you stop being angry at me?"

"I'm not angry at you. I'm only a bit... sad," Anakin admitted. "You know, I wasn't lying when I told you I was glad you were with me."

"Couldn't I stay?"

"What?" Anakin's breath caught in his chest and he tried to ban the hope from his voice.

"I'd like to stay."

"And Dooku?"

Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "I wasn't lying either when I told you I had no clue where to start looking for him. I can do nothing but be patient. I must wait. Maybe someday there will be a sign from him. I hope. Some rumours, or the Force tells me something."

"You want to stay?"

"Yes, please."

Anakin could not hold back the stupid grin that was starting to form on his face. So Obi-Wan had not been lying all the time. "Thank you," he croaked.

"Anakin, you don't always have to thank me for everything," Obi-Wan said embarrassedly.

"I think it's nice of you, so I say thank you."

"Yes, but... Couldn't we simply say we're friends, and friends help each other, that's the normal thing to do, and there's no reason to say thank you for every small favour?"

"I-I'd like that very much," Anakin said hoarsely. And as he was acting hopelessly silly anyway, he did not care about his self-control any longer, staggered forward and simply gave Obi-Wan a big hug. "Thank you," he said again. "That's –"

Obi-Wan made some disapproving noise. "I just told you not to –"

"Just shut up." Anakin chuckled softly and tightened his grip on Obi-Wan. "You said I shouldn't thank you for the little things. But this is a big thing."

"It's nothing really –"

"To me, it _is_ a big thing."

"Alright," Obi-Wan conceded. "To me, it means very much too. Erm... Thank you."

Anakin closed his eyes and sighed in relief. At least one thing in this life seemed to go well now.

"And I wasn't lying either when I said you should rest a bit before the battle tomorrow," Obi-Wan reminded him.

Together, they walked back to their tent and settled in to sleep. Anakin's thoughts drifted to the battle which he would have to fight tomorrow. The difficult thing was that the Separatists were not really interested in Senali but in its neighbour planet Rutan, which had more high-tech industry and thus was of more value to the Separatists. At first, they pretended they only wanted to help Senali build up their economy. But it was pretty obvious their aim was Rutan and Senali was only used to infiltrate the other planet. That meant Anakin had to station some troops on Rutan and some on Senali. He did not like dividing up his troops but he did not have another choice. The Separatists planned to land on Senali tomorrow and Anakin wanted to fight them back right at the beginning. But he had included in his plans that the landing on Senali could only be a red herring.

Anakin yawned quietly. He really should sleep now. He turned on his side so he could look at Obi-Wan's sleeping figure in the darkness. A small smile grazed Anakin's lips. Obi-Wan probably had no idea just how much it meant to Anakin that he was here. How much he was helping by just being here. It was enough for Anakin to know that someone was here, that someone would be here when he came back from the battlefield and he would not be alone with the ghosts of all the fallen who continually haunted his dreams. Just hearing Obi-Wan's soft and steady breathing – so soothingly alive compared to all the death and pain which surrounded him day after day – was enough to ease Anakin's pain.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan whispered next to him in the darkness.

"M-hmm?" Anakin had not known Obi-Wan was still awake too.

"Can I come with you tomorrow?"

Anakin sighed. He did not want Obi-Wan to come with him but he could hardly stop him. "Are you sure you want to come?"

"Yes. I know you're going to tell me how horrible the war is and that I should be glad to stay behind. But I've already fought in the Clone Wars before, maybe not in such big battles as you... I can't stay here, I feel so useless."

"I heard you helped in the medcenter. The clone troopers who were there spoke very highly of you. They were impressed by your abilities and they also thought you were quite nice."

"You only say that because you want me to stay behind."

Anakin propped himself up on his elbows and tried to look at Obi-Wan in the darkness. "Of course I want you to stay here. But not because I doubt your abilities as a warrior or pilot. The soldiers really said that, I didn't invent it to convince you. I envy you," he said honestly. "You do what a Jedi should do: You save lives. I destroy lives. Working in the medcenter is certainly _not_ a useless task."

"Then why don't you work in the medcenter?" Obi-Wan asked pointedly.

"Good question." Anakin rolled back on his back. "I don't really know anymore why I do what I do. They send me somewhere and I do what they tell me to do." He laughed sadly. "That's not what Qui-Gon taught me. He said I must follow the will of the Force, not the will of the Council. It's just... I don't know anymore what the will of the Force and what the will of the Council is. I guess it's that prophecy-thing. Somehow it's my duty to do... whatever. I can't just back away and say, 'I've had enough of this, I want to live a quiet life'. The truth is, I do not even know what I have to do and _how_ I have to do it. _Bring balance to the Force_, that's quite an abstract thing to do. And how can I bring balance? As a peacekeeper or as a warrior? I am a great Chosen One, am I not? I don't even have a clue what to do..."

"You were chosen by the Force," Obi-Wan said soothingly. "It must have had a reason. I'm sure the Force will guide you, and when the time comes, you will know what to do. You must trust the Force. And maybe... you should trust yourself a bit more as well."

In spite of himself, Anakin had to smile a little bit. Obi-Wan sounded so Jedi-Master-like. But he was right of course. And it was good he was here to tell Anakin, because otherwise he might drown in his depressing thoughts. "Obi-Wan, I cannot force you to stay here but I would be glad if you did. If I had the choice, I wouldn't fight either. I think no one has to feel bad for not fighting. Avoiding these battles is the sane thing to do. It's nothing about cowardice. I would never think less of you because you didn't take part in the battles." He searched for Obi-Wan's hand in the dark and squeezed it briefly.

"I don't want to come just because I want to prove myself," Obi-Wan said, squeezing Anakin's hand very tightly. "I'm just worried about you if you're out there, fighting in the most dangerous situations, and I have no idea when you come back. And you're _always_ the last to come back."

"You want to come with me to _protect_ me?" Anakin said, torn between being amused and deeply touched. "That's so sweet of you!" Next moment, he got a hard kick against his shin. "Ouch!" he cursed under his breath. "What was that for?!"

"Well, as you so badly want to stay behind but your oh-so-noble sense of duty prevents you from playing truant... A broken leg would be the perfect excuse, don't you think? I'm only trying to help."

They laughed together. It felt good. It had been a long time since Anakin had laughed for the last time. Oh yes, he could still remember the last time very well.

_Anakin was balancing a stack of plates on one finger, jumped through the quarters he shared with his Master, did pirouettes which were meant to look really stupid and clumsy, when – totally unexpected – the door flew open…and slammed against his hand…the hand which was balancing the plates. Of course, Anakin had practised to do exactly that: catch all the plates with the Force when they fell down. But it was not meant to happen so abrupt and unexpected. "Whoa, sh –" He managed to catch at least one plate. The others shattered noisily on the floor._

"_Padawan!"_

"_I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said quickly, still out of breath from his "exercises". "I'm sorry, Master, really."_

"_Would you care to explain why, in the name of the almighty Force, you would jump through the room like a maniac with plates in your hand?!"_

"_Um… I tried to do some Jar Jar Binks imitation."_

_Qui-Gon folded his arms over his chest. "Oh really. An interesting idea."_

"_Yeah, it's kind of... I thought I could cheer you up like that because certainly Queen Amidala has just brought her cause before the Council and you're angry at the politicians again. Well, and when I tried to do his walking style – you know, with his hands flying around, and dropping everything he's carrying – well, I kind of practised a stunt where I would lose all the plates and, um, of course I planned to catch them with the Force but unfortunately then you came in." _

"_And I disturbed your practise. I see. So it's my fault?"_

"_Uh… It's more like a series of unlucky events…" Anakin smiled sheepishly at his Master._

"_Pssh…That was certainly some good Jar Jar Binks imitation. That comes very close to the original."_

"_And you could even say I managed to put off your mind from the politicians and things."_

Anakin was torn between laughing and crying. Quickly, he dispelled the memories to the back of his mind where they had stayed hidden for all these years. He had become quite good at doing it, and it worked again. But no matter how good he had become at controlling his emotions – the gaping emptiness inside him remained. Maybe it was good like this, maybe he should not refill the emptiness. And yet he wanted…he needed…just for a moment…

_Now that Obi-Wan and I are officially friends and not enemies or rivals anymore…would it be okay if I lay a bit closer next to him?_ Anakin wondered idly. He had always needed physical closeness and he was cold. Well, more so on the inside than on the outside. Would it bother Obi-Wan if they slept so close together?

Anakin decided to do it discreetly. He edged a millimetre or so closer to Obi-Wan, and waited. Obi-Wan did not show any reaction. So far, everything had gone according to plan. He waited a bit more, pretended to be tossing in sleep and scooted still closer to Obi-Wan. As they were so close, Anakin could hear that Obi-Wan's breaths were sometimes slightly uneven. _Oh. So he isn't asleep yet either._ Well, Obi-Wan could protest if Anakin annoyed him. Trying very hard to be unobtrusive, Anakin turned and tossed a bit more and turned his head somewhat until it rested lightly against Obi-Wan's shoulder. He heard the rustle of Obi-Wan's blanket and then an arm wrapped around Anakin's chest and pulled him closer.

_Well, that was easy_, Anakin thought contentedly and snuggled against Obi-Wan. They fell asleep like that, clinging to each other like two frightened younglings who had been separated from their families and brought into a big and menacing galaxy with no one else but each other to draw warmth and comfort from.

Later in the night, Anakin was woken up by a loud voice. Someone was at the entrance of his tent.

"General Skywalker, wake up!"

"What is it?" Anakin was wide awake at once. That was something you learned in war: be fully alert at the slightest noise. It was your only chance of survival.

"General Skywalker, this is Commander Cody. The Separatist fleet has just made the jump out of hyperspace into Senali's orbit."

Cursing under his breath, Anakin got dressed with lightning speed. No one had expected the Separatists to arrive so early. "I'll be there in a minute. Wake everyone up, get into the ships and prepare to take off."

"Yes, Sir."

Obi-Wan had got up in the meantime too and blinked sleepily at Anakin. It seemed he had decided not to join Anakin on the battlefield. He did not show the slightest inclination to get up and dressed. Or maybe he simply was not fully awake yet. "Well, see you later," Anakin said while he quickly fastened his utility belt around his waist and shoved a protein bar into his mouth.

"Please be careful," Obi-Wan told him.

Anakin stopped in his movements. He had not expected this. He was really touched by Obi-Wan's words, especially as Obi-Wan usually was not someone to be so emotional. He was often annoyed or angry, yes, but he seldom showed someone that he cared for him. "Don't worry," Anakin replied, his mouth full of the chewy and distasteful protein bar. "I'm a good pilot."

"Then you should be extra careful."

Anakin paused at the tent's entrance for a little while. "Alright. I will be," he promised. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you too."

Then Anakin dashed off and jumped into his starfighter. Yes, he would be careful this time. He had made a promise. And he had a reason to come back. It was new that someone cared for him in that way – that someone regarded him as more than a Jedi Prodigy, the Chosen One or a battle machine. The last time someone had been so close to Anakin, it had been Qui-Gon.

ooooooo

The Army of the Republic was too late to fight the Separatists back. Most of the hostile ships had already landed on Senali. It was a senseless fight, a hopeless cause. Anakin quickly gave the signal to withdrawal. He was not someone who dealt recklessly with the lives of others. Only he and Commander Cody stayed in space. Hoping that the Separatist troops did not notice two little starfighters were still there between their huge spaceships, they tried to secretly get to the droid control ship in order to blow it up. Unfortunately, that trick had only worked during the first battles. In the course of the Clone Wars, the Separatist leaders had developed measures to better protect their crucial control ships. However, there was still a fault in their calculations: They calculated in big numbers. Many attackers meant more danger, fewer attackers meant less danger. They did not reckon with the danger coming from one single starfighter. They did not consider one single starfighter as a threat to their intimidating firepower. They chose to interpret the stories on Holonet about the Hero With No Fear as mere legends. Although many of them were, in fact, legends, this one was not: Anakin Skywalker definitely _was_ the best space pilot in the galaxy and he did not believe in impossibility.

Anakin preferred space battles to battles on the ground. In the depths of space, everything was easier. Every move was a life or death decision. Either shoot or get shot. Either dodge the fire or explode. It was the simple question if you were fast enough, if your reflexes were fast enough. It was like a game: the colourful blaster fire, the big explosions, the nearly impossible stunts... everything was possible. It was _almost_ like a game. There were the sounds from your comm console: an ear-splitting explosion – but never loud enough to drown your comrades' screams of fear and pain. Much worse than the screams was the silence that followed.

There was such silence now from Cody's comm. The transmission channel had died. The little starfighter's explosion had looked so _small_ and unimportant compared to what Anakin did to the Separatist ships. Anakin was all alone now. He bit back his grief, his anger and his loneliness and focussed on the moment. He saw his goal, he saw it very clearly but there were still _many_ ships in his way. In his mind, he quickly calculated his odds: He had modified his starfighter and it could certainly take quite some fire. But how much? Would it be enough? It _had_ to be enough.

But even Anakin Skywalker was not invulnerable. He got pretty close but in the end he had to admit defeat. His starfighter was on fire and he could hardly navigate anymore. Some warm liquid trickled down his cheek. He had to blink very hard to get it out of his eyes. All he could do now was saving his own life. Luckily for him, the Separatists had already given up the fireball (that was his starfighter) which was racing down into the planet's atmosphere at an incredible speed. Anakin was braking, braking, _braking_. His ship rocked madly and spiralled further down. The engines were screaming and all the alarms were signalling danger non-stop in blinking red lights and shrill beeps. It was hard to tell where was up and where was down.

Anakin knew only one thing: He was still much too fast. So he kept braking and concentrated on the Force to manipulate his surroundings so it would hopefully slow his ship down. Finally, its speed decreased. But it lost a wing. When it hit the ground, Anakin had already opened the cockpit, and he Force-jumped out. Quickly, he dropped to the ground and buried his head under his arms. There was a loud _bang!_, then some hissing noises and then it was over. Carefully, Anakin lifted his head. The remaining pieces of his starfighter were spread on the ground, some still smoking. Sighing, he scrambled to his feet and checked his position on the little holomap he carried at his utility belt. He was about eleven miles away from their camp. It looked like he had to walk the whole way back by foot. Contacting them was too dangerous. He did not like that at all. Walking back took him much too long. Anything could happen in the meantime and he was not there to prevent it.

There were many things Anakin had to think about on his way back. Cody was dead, that meant he did not have any commander anymore because Commander Sulli was injured and could not fight yet again. How could he lead a successful battle without commanders? He could make some of the soldiers a commander. But they were no ARCs and thus could not think as independently as it was necessary in such a position. Of course, he could make Obi-Wan a commander. Obi-Wan should have enough experience for something like that. But that was against the rules. No Padawan was allowed to command armies. Anakin would have just ignored that rule but the real problem was that the clone soldiers would never follow the orders of an apprentice.

He could ask for more troops. But it would take them at least three days to arrive here. And, his last option, he could simply leave the planet to the Separatists. _Great_, he thought gloomily, _that's going to establish the Council's suspicion that I'm a traitor._ He would have to choose the first option and make some of the ordinary clone soldiers a commander. Already now, the war on Senali looked very grim. Anakin's thoughts kept drifting off to the time he had spent here with Qui-Gon. Everything had been fine then. Sure, there had been the conflict between Senali and Rutan but that had been something entirely different because Qui-Gon had been there. He had solved everything. He had just been there. Anakin pressed his lips together and increased his pace. Why could he not be on another planet, a planet free from painful memories?

_Maybe this is a lesson. I must confront it._ He had been able to cope with it during the last years. He had been strong. He had done what a Jedi should do: He had buried his grief and had gone on, concentrating on the Here and Now. _And that is what I will do now. I can do it. I am a Jedi, no matter what the Council thinks of me. I will be strong. _

When Anakin arrived back in the camp, night had already fallen. His feet aching from the long march, he stumbled back into their tent. Obi-Wan was already there.

"Hi, I'm back," Anakin announced himself. He pulled off his boots before entering the tent (it made him feel very embarrassed to know that Obi-Wan had pulled off his boots before and he did not want to make Obi-Wan do it again).

"You surprise me, you made it before midnight," Obi-Wan retorted.

"I would have been back hours before if I hadn't crashed somewhere in no-man's-land."

"You crashed?" Obi-Wan turned to look at Anakin, who just slumped down on the floor. "Are you al..." He trailed off. "Sithhell, Anakin, what happened to your face?" He worriedly leant forward to have a closer look.

"Why...?" Anakin carefully palpated his face with his fingers and felt dried blood on his right cheek. "Oh, that's nothing, really. Just a little scratch. I think I collided with my head against the consoles when my ship was hit. It probably looks worse than it really is."

"Don't you have bacta with you in your survival kit? Why didn't you treat the wound?"

"I forgot it. Really, I had other problems back then than a little cut."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Well, that's going to become a nice big scar."

Anakin shrugged and grabbed a drinking bag, pouring it down all at once. "Who cares? I'm going to treat it tomorrow, I'm tired now."

"Is this a new way to avoid battles? You're trying to get yourself a blood poisoning?" Obi-Wan asked pointedly.

"Well, if it works..." Grinning slightly, Anakin lay down on his sleeping mat.

"Don't be stupid," Obi-Wan insisted. "Come on, let me do this. It won't take long but the wound must be treated."

Anakin groaned. "Obi-Wan, I'm –"

"You're tired, I know." Obi-Wan knelt down next to him and checked his right temple. "You can stay lying down, that's not a problem." Anakin gave up protesting, he simply closed his eyes and let Obi-Wan do what he wanted. "Did you succeed blowing up the control ship?" Obi-Wan asked while he carefully washed the blood away from Anakin's face.

"No. I got hit too often. That was too much, even for my starfighter." Anakin felt a warm presence wrap itself around his mind, telling him to relax. Already now, he could tell Obi-Wan was a much better healer than all the different clone surgeons who had treated Anakin during the last years. He had a certain way of touching the injuries – both in the Force and with his fingers.

"You got too much sand into the wound. I have to spray some disinfectant on it. That's going to hurt a bit. Try to relax, okay?"

"M-hmm." Anakin was already completely relaxed, even slightly drowsy by all the calming Force waves Obi-Wan sent into his mind. He certainly did not have to make an effort. It pinched a little bit when the disinfectant touched the raw flesh but Anakin's body was ready to accept it.

"Congratulations," Obi-Wan told him, "you're the first one who did _not_ tense during the disinfectant treatment. I wish every patient was like you."

"I didn't really do anything," Anakin replied, enjoying the sensation of the cool bacta, which Obi-Wan now was putting on his burning wound.

"That's the point. Most people get tensed and try to block me from their mind. It's more difficult to help them like that."

"Maybe you should tell them."

"Naturally, I tell them. They just... don't believe me enough. I mean, they believe me when I tell them what to do but they do not believe me enough to _do_ it. To do nothing."

"Well, they aren't Jedi. Maybe, when they will have known you for a longer time, they can trust you enough to do nothing."

"Hm. So tomorrow the battle starts, right?"

"Yes... There was no chance to stop them invading Senali. Commander Cody is dead."

"Oh. I didn't know that," Obi-Wan said, concerned. "I'm sorry. You knew him quite well, didn't you?"

"I'm not sure if I have ever really _known_ him. It's difficult with the clone troopers. Sometimes you think you know them but then there's suddenly something again which makes you realise that you will never be able to fully understand them... But Cody has fought at my side on several missions." In fact, Cody had been the only constant in Anakin's life after Qui-Gon's death. They had not been very close but they had respected each other. Cody had simply always been there at his side. _I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry._ Keeping his eyes shut, Anakin repeated the sentence again and again in his head. "The problem is, with Commander Sulli injured, I'll need new commanders. I thought about making Betto and Karan commanders. Could you inform them?"

"Sure." They had agreed Obi-Wan would help Anakin by assuming such tasks. Anakin still felt a bit awkward about it but he could not deny that dividing the tasks like that was a great help to him.

"And tell them to meet me here tomorrow at... 5:30. No, better at 4 am."

"What about the mission report?"

"I've already recorded everything when I walked back here. I have it on a datastick."

"Okay. I'll write it into a text tomorrow. Erm, did you just say you _walked _back?"

"What else could I have done? My ship's junk." _I will not cry. Don't think of Cody, don't think of Qui-Gon. Think of the ship. I must not cry. _"I've modified it thousandth of times and I've flown it for years... and now it's junk."

Obi-Wan had already finished treating the wound at his temple but he had moved on to another little wound at Anakin's shoulder. It was nothing serious, really, and it did not necessarily have to be treated but Anakin certainly did not complain. The knowledge that someone cared for him like that made him feel warm inside. And it felt nice: The gentle touch of Obi-Wan's thumb and the warmth in the Force... It made him stay relaxed, let go of everything. He felt safe here. His memories drifted back to another mission many years ago. It had been one of his first missions as Qui-Gon's Padawan. His Master had taught him how to use the Jedi healing powers. Anakin had caught the Hesken Fever and had had a high temperature. He still remembered the feeling of Qui-Gon's pleasantly cool hand on his forehead. As Anakin had been rather small as a young boy, Qui-Gon's hand had seemed extremely big. Soothing. Protective.

"Something else happened?" Obi-Wan's soft voice brought him back to the present.

"No," Anakin said hoarsely, biting back his tears.

"You're alright?"

"Yes." _I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry! _Anakin opened his eyes again. "As right as you can be with the knowledge that a new battle will start tomorrow, that I have no fully qualified commanders and that I didn't succeed in fighting the Separatist fleet back today." He kept on talking and his voice got slowly back to normal. "If you want more details, you can listen to the things I recorded. I don't feel like retelling every single thing now again. That march was pretty exhausting. I'm lucky I didn't land on the other side of Senali."

"Of course. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Obi-Wan removed his hand from Anakin's shoulder, and the warm feeling of the Force, with which he had enwrapped Anakin during the treatment, faded. Anakin regretted the loss of contact. Another part of him, however, was relieved. If he felt cold again, it was easier to control his tears. Obi-Wan switched off the glow light and they both settled in to sleep.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin whispered. "You're really good at that. Healing, I mean." As Obi-Wan did not want to hear a thank you, Anakin thought that was maybe a way of saying it.

"And you're good at accepting the pain," Obi-Wan replied.


	21. Memories

**Author's Note:** Thanks for helping me with the title for the last chapter. I said I'd take the first suggestion and so I took Sentrosi's suggestion. I liked Soul of a Young Man's idea so much that I took it for this chapter. I also liked Geri K's suggestions. I liked all of them! So be prepared to find a chapter later which will be called "True Friends".

Thank you very much for your reviews! (view my profile page for replies) I can't say often enough how much your support means to me! Special thanks to those crazy people who actually _apologised_ for writing long reviews...rolls eyes..._really_, you know I love long reviews, don't you?! ;-) And, of course, _very_ special thanks to my beta Sentrosi!!!

**WARNING:** ...in capital letters, because this time I really mean it. There's slash ahead. If you have a big problem with that, you probably shouldn't read this chapter.

I'm so nervous about this chapter... This is my first attempt at romance. Please be nice. Well, on second thought, tell me what you really think about it ;-) After all, I want to improve my writing. Argh... why is writing love scenes so much more difficult than writing violence scenes? I've tried to find a balance between a love scene and the plot and, well, this is it.

I think I'll better switch off my computer now before, in my nervous state, I decide to delete the whole chapter :S

* * *

The war on Senali continued. It was a brutal war. More than a week had already passed and victory was not in sight. One day the Separatist Army would win a little battle, next day the Republican Army would conquer the district again... Anakin had told Obi-Wan he expected this war to still last several months. On the one hand, Senali was a nicer place to stay than Praesitlyn, on the other, that made it all the more tragic to witness the destruction of this beautiful planet and its peace loving people. Of course, as Obi-Wan did not take part in the battles, he did not really see its full extent. But he wrote the mission reports and spoke to injured clone troopers, and so he had a rough idea what was going on. And he saw the look in Anakin's eyes. As if he was haunted by something... 

Being so close to Anakin was intoxicating. Their friendship deepened with each passing day. If you could call the strange relationship they shared "friendship". Some touches – hugs before they parted or when they saw each other again, huddling up against each other at night, a comforting hand on a shoulder, a helping hand – were too long, too intimate to be of a merely brotherly nature. But Obi-Wan did not delude himself. They were in an extreme situation: Anakin suffered from the war and his role as the Chosen One, and Obi-Wan was the only person here to comfort him. Under normal circumstances, something like that would have never developed. It was sheer coincidence, a concatenation of...unlucky circumstances. But Obi-Wan loved him, yes, he did. And his love grew with every word, every touch, every glance they exchanged. He would do everything for Anakin, even if Anakin did not love him back.

It was another long day. Anakin had returned from battle, exhausted and sad as always. But he always had a little smile for Obi-Wan in greeting. A sad smile, but it was a smile nevertheless. Anakin sat down in his chair and heaved a deep sigh.

"Bad day?" Obi-Wan asked sympathetically and placed a hand on Anakin's arm.

Anakin just nodded. Obi-Wan had come to understand Anakin's body language. When he only nodded and did not say anything, it meant he did not want to talk about it. And Obi-Wan would accept that, of course.

"Are you hungry?"

"Like a Ralltiir Tiger. I bet we still have huge amounts of those very tasteful protein bars with beebleberry flavour, right? It's a shame, really, why don't those protein bar producers realise no one likes that sort?"

Obi-Wan grinned. "Well, I guess I have to disappoint you concerning beebleberry bars. I've got some fish and fresh fruit."

"What?!" Anakin exclaimed delightedly.

"Here you are." Obi-Wan put the meal on the little fold-table.

"Man, Obi-Wan, you're an angel!" Anakin said enthusiastically. "I _love_ you!"

Obi-Wan gave him a brief smile, although the words hurt him a little bit. If Anakin felt anything like Obi-Wan, he would not use those words so carelessly. "I got it from a local fisherman," Obi-Wan explained while Anakin gulped down the food with relish. "His son was injured in battle and I healed him. So the father gave me this as a thank you."

"That's great. I hope you had some of the fish too?"

"Sure. You know I hate beebleberry bars just as much as you do." Of course, Obi-Wan had left the greater part of the food for Anakin but he had had enough as well. Enough to survive several more days with nothing to eat but beebleberry bars.

It was a good evening. But then, when Anakin was already in bed and Obi-Wan was still checking something on his datapad, everything changed. Obi-Wan had thought Anakin had already fallen asleep but suddenly he spoke up very quietly, "I'm thinking about leaving the Jedi Order."

"Wha-what?!" In his shock, Obi-Wan typed a wrong order and the information he had just loaded erased itself. Right now, he could not care less. "What do you mean?" Obi-Wan asked suspiciously.

"I'm thinking about leaving the Jedi Order," Anakin repeated stubbornly. "I can't do this any longer."

Slowly, Obi-Wan put down his datapad and turned to look at Anakin. Anakin lay on his back, his arms crossed under his head. He was talking to the tent's ceiling. The light was dimmed but it was enough to illuminate his expression. His face looked tired and much too old for his 23 years. "What is it you cannot do any longer?" Obi-Wan asked cautiously.

"Everything. Fighting. Being a hero. _Pretending_ to be a hero."

"You _are_ a hero, Anakin," Obi-Wan reassured him.

"No, I'm _not,_" Anakin protested almost angrily. "Tell me, what am I doing? People do not become a hero just because they have great abilities. Normally, they fight for a just cause. But what am I fighting for? The truth is, I don't know, I have no idea why I'm doing it. I don't believe in it but I still do it. I follow their orders, do what they tell me to do even though I _hate_ to do it. It's pathetic, really. There's nothing heroic about it, I'd rather call it weakness."

"Ah." That did not sound good. Obi-Wan sat down beside Anakin and searched for something to say which could change his mood. "You are fighting for a just cause. I know it looks really grim at the moment. We live in a dark age but we are fighting for the future of billions of people."

Anakin laughed a harsh, humourless laugh. "Don't give me those empty Holonet phrases. They make me so _sick_. They have no idea. You say 'future'? I don't see a future. When people talk of the future and responsibility, I normally think of measures to ensure peace, of environment protection, of establishing civil rights, a fair economic system... What would you do to make sure there is a future for people? Lead a war? I don't think so."

"Of course, you are absolutely right. I hate war, it's wrong, of course it is. But I don't understand: What has it to do with you leaving the Order?"

"In the beginning of the Clone Wars, I knew what I was fighting for. There were the Jedi principles. All the wonderful wisdoms they have taught us. I was proud of being _a keeper of peace and justice in the galaxy._" Anakin pronounced the last words as if they were a terrible insult. He grimaced contemptuously. "I've stopped believing in the Jedi."

"Is it because of that spying-thing?" Obi-Wan asked worriedly.

"Nonsense. I'm not a stupid child who is offended because people don't give you the approval which you think you deserve. I wouldn't leave the Order for such a simple reason. No, I think I could still convince myself that they only were worried about me and had my best interests at heart – and, more importantly, they did it to preserve peace and justice. No, the reason why I can't believe them anymore is the fact that all the Jedi rules are lies. Just lies. They teach you compassion, they say a Jedi must never attack, the Jedi must not intervene in a planet's affairs when there's no official request for help. They teach you that every life is valuable, that we must not give in to the means of the dark side, that we must follow the will of the Force... But what are we doing? _What are we doing_? Are we following any of those rules? Tell me any Jedi rule that is still valid. Hmm, maybe _The lightsaber is a Jedi's most precious possession_? Wow, what a great principle to fight for. Is that all there is left? Or has there never been more? Has it always just been lies and empty phrases?"

"Stop that!" Obi-Wan said firmly. He was getting more and more nervous. Anakin's talking made him feel thoroughly uneasy. "That's just not true, you can't say that! Do you mean to say that Master Yoda lied to you and betrayed you? And what about Qui-Gon? Don't you even believe in him and in what he taught you anymore?"

"I-I – Of course I do!" Anakin defended himself. He sat bolt upright and his voice was now trembling and thick with emotion. "He would have never accepted it like that, I know that! He cared for people! Do you remember Jar Jar Binks? Many people would have said he was not worth the effort but Qui-Gon saved his life and brought him with us! Trust me, I wish I could still believe in the Jedi Order, I wish there was something – _anything_ – I could cling to. But there is nothing. Nothing. Shall I fight for such an Order, which does not even keep to its own principles? Shall I fight for a Republic, all the senators in their fine clothes and debating, debating, debating and all they care for is how they can best increase their wealth? Where's good, heh? Do you know where _good_ is?!"

"Stop that, Anakin, please!" Obi-Wan begged him miserably.

"What," Anakin sneered. "Am I scaring you? Oh, I've gone insane in the war, right? I can already see the headline: _The tragic fall of a hero_. You know what, I think this whole galaxy is insane if people, who think that killing other people is bad and that you should keep to your principles, are considered insane. I think people who go to battle and think it's normal, who think that shooting ships is a big adventure, _bang_, _bang_, _bang_ – _great, yeah_!!! –" an almost maniac glimmer in his eyes, Anakin waved his hands wildly about. " – _they_ are insane!"

"You are not insane, Anakin," Obi-Wan said and he _was_ scared. "You're a good person and that's why this war affects you so much. But you mustn't give up. You mustn't lose faith. The Jedi are your family. You can trust them, they will always support you."

"No, they will not," Anakin said, his voice full of bitterness. "Two years ago, I had dreams. Not any dreams, _real _dreams. _Visions_. I had visions of my mother dying. I saw her in pain. Again and again, each night the same nightmare. I wanted to go and save her. But they didn't allow me to go. I was on Kamino in an _important_ battle. They could not afford to send me away on such an _unimportant _quest. I understood that. I knew I had a responsibility towards the Jedi. I won that war on Kamino. I asked them again if I could go now. But they had already a new mission for me. Then the dreams stopped. I was _glad_ they finally stopped. Afterwards, I did some research. I found out my mother had died at that same day my dreams had stopped. She was murdered by Tusken Raiders, some racket on my homeplanet. They're brutal and ruthless but they use only primitive weapons to fight. I could have _saved_ her, Obi-Wan. It would not have been a problem. I could have saved her easily. And you know what they told me afterwards? They said it was all my fault. Mine and Qui-Gon's. Yes, if Qui-Gon had never brought me to Tatooine to meet my mother, I would have never remembered her and I would have never had such dreams. Her death would not have affected me then. _She_ was entirely irrelevant. She doesn't matter, right? Sure, after all, _she_ is not a Chosen One, is she? No, she's only a slave, maybe a _whore_."

"That's… I'm…really sorry..." Obi-Wan bit his lower lip. He felt terribly helpless in face of Anakin's deep grief. "I'm sorry," he muttered again. "They shouldn't have done that, it's..."

"I know I must not let my personal feelings get in the way," Anakin said, a bit calmer than before. "But I just can't do it. Shall I betray myself? It's not because of that personal grudge I hold against the Jedi, it's because I feel it is so _wrong_."

"Yes, but... is there an alternative? What are you going to do once you leave the Jedi? You can hardly say that the Separatists are better – I mean, they're fighting and killing just as well."

"I'm popular, I can use my popularity to change people's minds. If I say something, Holonet will broadcast it immediately. I can start peace campaigns, I can support the few senators who still believe in negotiations, I can advertise organisations which help victims of the war..."

"Yes, you could do that but... but they need you in this war. I don't mean the Order or the Republic. I'm speaking of the people, the normal people. You give them courage. Whenever they hear your name, they think, 'Yes, Anakin Skywalker is coming, everything will be alright'. And it doesn't really matter if all the legends about you are true or not. As long as they believe in it, it is enough, it is enough to give them _hope_. If you, however, left the Jedi Order..." _Please don't do it. Master Dooku has already left me, please don't leave me too. _

-------

"You don't understand," Anakin said bitterly and turned away from Obi-Wan. Here it was again. Now Obi-Wan, too, tried to appeal to his conscience and put a new burden upon him.

"Then tell me," Obi-Wan pleaded. "I want to understand, I want to _help_ you."

"Yesterday, I killed a young girl." The words were out before Anakin could stop himself. "She was so young, maybe six years old. I-I was blocking blasterfire from battle droids so the local people could flee. I didn't pay attention for a moment and didn't see she was running back for some reason and I directed one of the blastershots towards her. She was hit in the shoulder. It would not have been lethal. But she fell. She could not get up anymore. I wanted to help her b-but I c-couldn't go through to her. There were t-too many b-battle droids." Anakin could not fight back the tears any longer. He was shaking all over. He could not stop it anymore. Years of burying his emotions and fighting them back crumpled down. The words flooded out in a way he could not control at all. "And the b-b-battle droids did not c-care for her at all. They w-were o-only interested in me. They just marched _over_ her and stepped on her with their horrible feet and when I had finally fought them back, it was... it was too late for the girl. She was still alive and her mo-mo-mother was with her. She was dying, slowly. She was in such pain." Anakin choked out the words. He had difficulties to breathe. It all came in ragged breaths and hiccups. "She was dying and there was blood coming out of her mouth. She was... twitching in agony. She was in such _pain._ I-I-I stabbed her in the chest with my lightsaber. Finished her off quickly. And then the mother looked at me and her eyes..."

"Oh Anakin..." Strong arms wound around Anakin's chest and he was pressed tightly against a warm body. "It was not your fault. It was an accident. You did the right thing."

"The right thing?" The tears flowed freely now. "How can you say that's the right thing? How can that be right? She – she was so _young,_" he whispered, feeling as helpless as never before in his life.

"You did the right thing," Obi-Wan repeated firmly. "You saved her from her agony, that was _right_. You did not cause her death, it was not your fault."

"I-I c-can't forget her face and-and-and her last scream when my lightsaber burned her chest. I will never be able to forget. Never. And her mother... She shrieked and went insane. Some of the locals led her away but she was shrieking all the time."

"I'm so sorry, Anakin..." Obi-Wan gently stroked his hair. "I'm so sorry... so sorry..." He held Anakin tightly and Anakin threw his arms around Obi-Wan's neck and buried his head in his shoulder.

"She was so young. A-a-and she was in such – in such _pain._ I-I-I finished her off quickly so it would be over quickly and she wouldn't be in pain anymore. If I had just paid more attention, she would be still alive... She would be still a-a-alive... If that blastershot hadn't hit her, if I hadn't directed it towards her..."

"It's not your fault," Obi-Wan said again. He kept stroking Anakin's hair and his other hand rubbed Anakin's back in a soothing way. "It's not your fault. Nothing of that is your fault. Nothing, do you understand me?"

Anakin nodded but only wept more. "She was so young. Why did she have to die?"

"I don't know, it's –"

"_Why?_" Anakin cried desperately and pounded his fist on Obi-Wan's back. "Why, why, why?"

"Shh, listen to me. Many people die a day –"

"But not like that. _Not like that!_"

"There are so many senseless deaths. You can't stop everyone from dying. All you can do is save some innocent lives. You said it to me a few days ago, you said you envied me because, working in the medcenter, I could save lives. Do you remember that?" Anakin nodded, accidentally hitting his head against Obi-Wan's chin. But Obi-Wan did not complain. "The truth is," he continued, "you save lives too. Many lives. You are a Jedi and that's what a Jedi does with his abilities. You do that, Anakin, whatever it looks like to you, you save lives. Didn't you just tell me you defended the local people so they could flee? How many could flee because of you?"

"I don't know how many but –"

"And how many battle droids did you have to fight back single-handedly?" Obi-Wan interrupted him and shoved him back a little bit so he could look at Anakin. Anakin squeezed his eyes tightly shut and pressed his lips together. "Anakin, look at me," Obi-Wan said kindly. He cupped Anakin's face in his hands, gently forcing him to look up, waiting for Anakin to relax and to open his tear-filled eyes. "I've never seen anyone who can fight as well as you. Master Dooku, maybe. Or Master Windu. I don't know how many lives or even whole planets you have already saved. But you're human. People make mistakes. You cannot be always strong. You cannot fight day and night without ever resting. You cannot always give one-hundred percent. That's just impossible."

Anakin's lips quivered and he angrily bit them until he tasted blood. "Tell that the girl. That I wasn't strong enough, that I was just tired at that moment. Sorry for that, but I just made my mistake then, I was inattentive but I have to do one mistake a week, and she was just unlucky she was the victim. Tell her mother, her father, her siblings, her friends... I bet they'll be very accepting and understanding."

"I know how you must feel –"

"You don't know anything!" Anakin spat angrily and shoved Obi-Wan's hands away.

"But I _do _know," Obi-Wan insisted. "I couldn't save Qui-Gon. I was too slow then. My mistake on that day. I was not strong enough. Trust me, I know how it feels. It's a horrible feeling. All the guilt... But there's no other way but accepting. It's what the Jedi teach. I learned it the hard way but I finally came to understand. You know I was with Qui-Gon when he was dying and I apologised to him again and again. But he didn't blame me. Not in the slightest. And you didn't blame me either when I told you about it afterwards. It was only me: I was blaming myself."

Obi-Wan mentioning Qui-Gon's death was the last straw. Anakin erupted into a new fit of desperate sobs and flung himself into Obi-Wan's arms again. Obi-Wan just held him and stroked his hair and his back soothingly. "I wish I could just... accept it," Anakin sobbed into Obi-Wan's shirt, which was already soaked wet with his tears. "I-I wish I could be as strong as you but I am not."

"You are strong," Obi-Wan told him firmly, "very strong. You're an amazing general, you're always there for your troops, you do all the dangerous things – successfully, most of the times – and you carry all that responsibility and you do that very well. _And_ although there's the Clone Wars – and I won't deny it, I know it has also changed the Order, and it did not change for the better – you have still managed to stay a good Jedi who keeps to the Jedi Code."

"But being a Jedi doesn't mean anything anymore," Anakin said bitterly.

"I think it does. Tell me, why have you kept to the Jedi Code? It's certainly not simply because everyone told you to do it and because everyone else did the same. The Jedi were always a minority. The rest of the galaxy kept to other rules. I kept to the Jedi Code because I believed – because I _knew_ – it is right and it is good. And if you tell me otherwise, I will not believe you. Okay, maybe the little minority has been reduced even more during the last years. But that doesn't change the things which were once good. They're still good and right, even if no one keeps to the rules anymore." Obi-Wan pulled him into an even tighter embrace. "Please don't leave the Jedi Order."

"Why not?" Anakin asked exhaustedly.

"Because I don't want you to leave."

It was the only right thing Obi-Wan could have said. If he had said, 'Because the Jedi Order (or the Republic) needs you', Anakin would have stopped listening. Anakin lifted his head up and looked uncertainly at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan smiled uncertainly back at him. Obi-Wan was still squeezing his shoulders. Then his hands wandered up Anakin's neck. It was a very affectionate, very intimate touch. Anakin became very calm and waited for Obi-Wan to continue. Finally, Obi-Wan's fingers had arrived at his cheeks. His thumbs softly traced Anakin's jawbones. Then Obi-Wan leant slowly forwards and kissed him. No, it was more like Obi-Wan very lightly placed his lips on Anakin's, always giving him the chance to pull away. But Anakin did not pull away. He enjoyed it. He had never before felt loved like that. Obi-Wan touched him so tenderly it made Anakin in a very strange way want to cry inside. When Obi-Wan pulled away from the little kiss, Anakin rested his head against Obi-Wan's chest and closed his eyes. He felt Obi-Wan's chest rising and falling steadily, even felt his heartbeat. Anakin took deep breaths and, slowly, the pain faded.

"Don't leave the Order," Obi-Wan murmured. "I need you. The Jedi Order needs you." Anakin groaned and punched Obi-Wan lightly in his ribs. "I'm not speaking of the prophecy," Obi-Wan assured him. "I mean, what do you do when a friend of yours does something really bad? Would you abandon him? I don't think so. I think you would try to show his mistake to him and you would try to correct him. You would help him. You wouldn't leave him alone. You don't necessarily need friends when everything's fine, do you? It's more important to have friends during the bad times. You realise the Jedi do wrong things – so you should tell them! You're on the Council, you have the power to change something. Leaving the Jedi Order is not a solution. That's what the systems do which join the Separatist movement. They think the Republic is not a good Republic anymore – and they're probably right. So they leave the Republic and do their own thing. And what's happening? The whole galaxy is shattered, there's a war... You can help the Order reform and when the Jedi Order is a strong force again, an order of peacekeepers, then maybe that's a chance to end this war in a peaceful way."

"Hm..." The fact that Obi-Wan still held Anakin, reassuring him that he was loved and cared for, proved his words right. Anakin seized Obi-Wan's hand and cautiously rubbed his thumb over the back of Obi-Wan's hand. "So you think I'm a bad friend?"

"Nonsense." Obi-Wan kissed Anakin lightly on his head. "If you were a bad friend, we wouldn't be here, right? After all the shit I've already done... I think you're a Jedi who has lost faith too quickly."

"Maybe," Anakin acknowledged hesitantly. Encouraged by Obi-Wan's hands, which had somehow at some time slipped under Anakin's shirt and were causing his body to react in ways he could not control any longer, Anakin started caressing Obi-Wan too. Soon, both of them, stripped to the waist, lay on the sleeping mats. Anakin thought that it felt very strange: having Obi-Wan's heated body on top of him. Well, _strange_ was not the predominant feeling. The caresses, the kisses... it was wonderful, amazing, comforting, _warm_. After so many years, Anakin felt finally warm inside again.

"But in what can I believe, Obi-Wan?" Anakin mumbled while Obi-Wan was placing little kisses all over his uncovered chest. "What are all the Jedi rules worth if they cause only suffering? Where's the 'good' you were speaking of?"

Obi-Wan stopped the kissing and looked at Anakin. His eyes looked a bit hazy, confused by the sudden interruption, but he visibly pulled himself together and thought of a satisfying answer to Anakin's question. "Do you remember when we were little children at the Temple? There were always those little fights between the different groups, that rivalry, everyone wanted to be the best and we would call each other stupid names – like _Oafy-Wan_." Obi-Wan absent-mindedly toyed with Anakin's curls. And while he continued speaking in a calm and gentle voice, images flooded Anakin's mind. He saw a group of younglings in a sunlit room, standing in a circle around Master Yoda and watching his Force-tricks in complete awe. He heard Yoda's old but always cheerful voice, he remembered Garen imitating Yoda's way of speaking backwards, he saw the groups of Jedi apprentices fight each other to exhaustion - as if it was the most important thing of the world to be the better group. And afterwards they would perhaps go swimming in the coolness and the peacefulness of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. "We were _always _fighting," Obi-Wan continued, "but as soon as there was a strict Master we would stick together like glue. I think those times, they were good. That's something valuable, worth to fight for. I hope that the next generation of Jedi can have such a childhood too. They should get to know all of it, the Wookie Clan and... which group were you in? The Bantha Clan?"

Anakin grimaced, pretending to be mortally offended. "The _Bantha_ Clan? Really, Obi-Wan! I was in the _Bear_ Clan."

"Ah yes, I remember, the Bear Clan, of course. And do you remember our lightsaber fights? We would pretend to be our favourite heroes – the great swordsmen. Naturally, we had no idea of different fighting styles at all... But I had overheard some older students discuss Master Windu's Vaapad form and so I pretended to know."

Anakin smiled a little bit. "Yes, you were always Master Windu. And I was Master Dooku. You have no idea what a shock I got when I heard you had actually got him as your Master."

Obi-Wan chuckled softly. "You have no idea what a shock _I _got when he told me he would train me. And to be honest, I still have no clue why he suddenly wanted a Padawan, and why, for Force's sake, he wanted to train _me_."

Anakin smiled silently. That was something which would stay his secret forever.

"And do you remember the classes with Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan continued in reminiscence. "They used to be my favourite ones. We used to play pranks on him. Really nasty things if you rethink it now, like putting his stick on the uppermost shelf. But he would always play along with it and try to reach his stick by jumping up in vain or scrambling laboriously up the shelves. He did it to let us have our fun. Ah, come to think of it, he maybe wanted to teach us that it was cruel to make fun of people because of their appearance. Well, I never got it, that he intended to teach us a lesson..."

Anakin chuckled and lightly pulled Obi-Wan's Padawan braid. "Well, you've finally got it now. Better late than never, right? You should tell Master Yoda next time you see him. Yeah, and maybe apologise for ridiculing him."

"Yes, yes… I cannot avoid remembering such things every time I see him. It makes me feel extremely stupid but, in a certain way, it makes me feel such respect for him."

"Yes, I feel pretty much the same. And you don't really have a reason to feel stupid. I mean, you only did what every Jedi apprentice does a few times during Temple training."

"Now, you're making me curious," Obi-Wan said, grinning cheerfully. "What kind of extremely stupid things did you do?"

Anakin blushed slightly. "It's really embarrassing if you think of it now… Well, alright. Just like you, I didn't understand he intended to teach us a lesson with his failed attempts to get his stick back. I felt a bit sorry for him and so I stayed with him after the end of the lesson and helped him get his stick back."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "How cute is that? Man, you were really a helpful and compassionate kid, weren't you?"

Anakin blushed more deeply. "That's not the whole story yet. I didn't understand why he hadn't used the Force to get his stick back. We had just learned how to levitate things and that was my chance to show off, of course. Though I must say, I was a bit confused Yoda couldn't do it himself. I mean, he had taught us how to use the Force to levitate things. But I concluded it was maybe too difficult to him to levitate things which were so high above. I explained to him how to do it."

"How old were you?" Obi-Wan giggled, clearly enjoying the story.

"Four or five, I think. Well, and as I had to assume I was already _much_ better than Master Yoda in using the Force, I thought I should have a new teacher. And I told him that."

"You didn't!"

"I did." Anakin's blush deepened even more if that was still possible. "I think I said something like, 'Master Yoda, it was nice of you to teach me and your lessons are always fun but if you can't even levitate things properly, I obviously need a new teacher. Someone who is taller and who is a _real_ Jedi Master. Sure, these games we play are nice but that's something for little children and now I want to learn something serious. Master Yoda, you certainly understand that. Could you get me another teacher?' And he didn't contradict me of course. He didn't display his great abilities just to impress a little apprentice who had suddenly delusions of grandeur. He said something like that I was right and very talented of course, and he understood I'd rather have another teacher but he asked me to stay. "Because", he said, "always someone there is who is the best. If the best always leaves the group, in the end no one left there will be. Find your place, you must. Help the others, you will? Help me, you will?" And I believed him, of course. And I answered completely seriously that I was ready to help him."

"How nice of you!" Obi-Wan spluttered. "And how selfless of you to help Master Yoda instead of following your career. That's great. What a wonderful story."

Anakin grinned sheepishly. "Hey, I... I... I was really serious back then," he said, deeply embarrassed.

"I know," Obi-Wan said, laughing. "That's what's so great about this story."

-------

To Obi-Wan, Anakin had never looked more beautiful. The deep blush which heated his cheeks, the unruly curls, the still wet and reddened eyes and the almost timid smile... Obi-Wan loved him still more for everything of that. He loved Anakin because he had been such a cute kid, he loved him for telling him that story, he loved him for being embarrassed by it, he loved him for crying...

"I love you," he finally said the words aloud and he pulled Anakin into a deep, passionate kiss. It was the first real kiss they shared. Before, it had always been one of them kissing the other. Now both of them kissed each other and the sensation of it made Obi-Wan's stomach churn and caused a prickling heat running through his body. It seemed they were laughing and crying at the same time. Anakin tasted exactly as Obi-Wan had remembered it: wet and salty.

When they pulled back, both slightly out of breath, Obi-Wan took a long time to just look at Anakin, who lay underneath him, displaying his trust in Obi-Wan like that. He did not know if they would ever find themselves in such a situation again. With the war going on, you could never be sure of tomorrow. And did Anakin really want this? Would he want it tomorrow again or would it have no meaning then anymore? Then there was the Jedi Code… But no matter what tomorrow would bring, here and now they were, and for this blissful moment, everything was perfect. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, trying to memorise this moment with all his senses.

"Thanks," Anakin said in a hoarse voice, gently touching Obi-Wan's lips with his fingers. "Thank you for helping me remember. And for helping me forget."

Obi-Wan loved the way Anakin almost timidly touched him, he loved the way Anakin's breath quickened when Obi-Wan touched him in certain places, he loved the way Anakin lay perfectly still when Obi-Wan had both of them fully undressed and lowered himself down on Anakin again.

"I love you _so much,_" Obi-Wan whispered and captured Anakin's lips in a moist kiss again.

They continued talking of their childhood memories, kissing, talking, caressing and laughing. But soon the talking trailed off and the kissing and moaning increased. Childhood memories were forgotten. There were more interesting matters at hand. It was awkward and clumsy at first. But then, when they had both confessed (with lots of stuttering and blushing) that they had no experience at all and were really unsure what to do next, they agreed to just do what felt good. And it felt good. It definitely did.

At long last, Obi-Wan rolled down from Anakin. Exhausted, sweaty and _happy_. He had never felt so happy in his life before. Closing his eyes, he nestled closer against Anakin's equally heated and sweaty body. A broad smile crossed Obi-Wan's lips when, in his mind, he relived the wonderful sensations they had just shared.

"I love you," he whispered once again and then he got very tired and almost fell asleep. Almost.

Suddenly, something was wrong. Obi-Wan sensed it even before it happened. Anakin had been perfectly relaxed the whole time but suddenly something in his body tensed. Before Obi-Wan could react, Anakin rolled away, turning his back to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan's arm which had been wound around Anakin's chest felt strangely empty. Dread rising in his chest, Obi-Wan stared at Anakin's naked back. He stared at the two long scars which formed a cross on Anakin's back. Obi-Wan wanted to ask where he had got these scars from. There were so many other things he wanted to learn about Anakin…

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan whispered uncertainly.

"I'm sorry," Anakin said in a strangely high-pitched voice. His shoulders seemed to be shaking. Was he crying again? Cautiously, Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin's shoulder but Anakin tensed even more under the touch.

"Don't," Anakin choked quietly.

Obi-Wan removed his hand from Anakin's shoulder as quickly as if he had been burned. It pained him to see Anakin visibly recoil from his touch. It was scary how fast everything could change: A few moments before, everything had seemed perfect. Had it been just an illusion?

"Anakin? What – what is it?" Obi-Wan asked. He could not stop his voice from trembling.

Anakin did not answer. His shoulders shaking (and Obi-Wan was sure now that he was crying), he just lay there, his back turned to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan felt terribly empty and helpless.

Finally, Anakin said something. His voice was so quiet it was barely audible. "I miss him so much."

Obi-Wan understood perfectly. There was no question who 'he' was. The realisation was like a hard stab into Obi-Wan's chest. It hurt to learn that he was nothing but a poor substitute for Qui-Gon. It hurt to think that Anakin had only used him. Maybe Anakin had hoped he could forget Qui-Gon like that. "Couldn't you have chosen anyone else to – to release your emotions or get comfort or whatever?" Obi-Wan hated the fact that his voice was shaking but he could not stop anymore. "Couldn't you have just asked any of the clone troopers? I know, I know, they're human just like us and it's not right to use them but what about me? Am I not human? Force, Anakin, couldn't you have at least chosen someone who's not so hopelessly, _stupidly_ in love with you?!" His words had turned out more and more into an open accusation. But when he saw Anakin's shaking frame and heard his soft sobs, his anger faded in the blink of an eye. It hurt and still he could not bring himself to be angry at Anakin, who was looking a picture of misery. If what Anakin needed was comfort, Obi-Wan was willing to give it to him.

"I'm sorry," Anakin said again. "I don't want to hurt you, Obi-Wan, b-b-but I c-can't do this."

"That's alright," Obi-Wan assured him, forcing his voice to sound steady. "You don't have to apologise. I never really expected something like that." It had been a dream, a wonderful dream. But nothing more... just a dream. And a dream it would stay.

"You didn't expect what?" Anakin asked and slowly turned around to look at Obi-Wan again. He was so beautiful... Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt horribly exposed. He fact that he was stark naked made him terribly self-conscious. He was a stupid dreamer! How could he have ever presumed something like that could really happen between him and Anakin?!

Obi-Wan awkwardly scrambled into a sitting position and stared down at his hands. His voice sounded hollow when he finally answered Anakin's question. "I never really expected you to, um, fall in love with, well... with someone like me."

"Someone like you? What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Well, just look at us. You are a Jedi Master, a General. You're just good at _everything_. You're extremely handsome, you're famous, and you're a hero. _Everyone_ loves you. You could _have_ everyone." Feeling extremely stupid, Obi-Wan tried to shrug casually. "To sum it up: you're perfect."

"I am not _perfect,_" Anakin protested. "Not at all. Nobody is perfect."

"You are," Obi-Wan said gloomily.

"Don't say that!" Anakin protested fiercely, tears in his eyes again. "That's what everyone says. They try to make me perfect but I am not. I cannot be perfect."

"To me, you are perfect," Obi-Wan insisted. "I…love you, Anakin, and if you say you're not perfect – fine. I don't care. I'll still love you."

Anakin swallowed. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," he said in a small voice. "But I cannot do this. I cannot love you."

"Because we are Jedi? I'm sorry if I forced you into anything –"

"Don't be stupid, you didn't force me into anything. I'm sorry I was not strong enough to stop. Qui-Gon once taught me that it was okay to love as long as it did not interfere with your Jedi duties. And I did love Qui-Gon. In a different way, of course. He was like a father to me; he was always there for me in a way no one had ever been there for me before. I had an attachment to him, yes, and you see what it has done to me, what a wreck of a person I have become. Maybe you are strong enough to be both a Jedi and in love. But I'm not. I'm not… I am a Jedi Master but I've never got over his death. I cannot do it again: form an attachment. I'm afraid to do it. I don't have any strengths left for that. There's nothing I can give to you."

"But you don't have to give anything to me!" Obi-Wan said desperately. "I don't ask anything of you! Couldn't we just –"

"No," Anakin said firmly. "That wouldn't be right. You deserve better than that."

"And what about you?" Obi-Wan asked quietly. "Tell me, why did you do it? Did you enjoy it?"

"I..." Anakin's cheeks reddened slightly. "Yes, I enjoyed it..."

"And I enjoyed it too. So why deny it? If it's only comfort what you seek – that's alright to me. We can have meaningless sex, or if you feel lonely, we can just embrace and sleep together and nothing has to happen. I don't ask for your love. We can stay friends and be intimate, whatever you like."

Anakin smiled a little bit. "That's such a Jedi thing of you to say, Obi-Wan."

"Uh, what? I didn't realise mindless sex was a Jedi thing."

"I meant that your offer is selfless."

Embarrassed, Obi-Wan grinned. "Offering you to sleep in one bed with me has nothing to do with selflessness."

Anakin smiled widely at him. "You know very well what I mean."

"Oh, um, if you say so..." Obi-Wan nervously toyed with his Padawan braid. "So now what?"

Anakin sighed softly. "I don't know. Could you... I mean, would it be okay if you just embraced me again, like the other nights?" he asked shyly. "It, well, it always makes me feel better..."

"Yes, of course. Come here."

Anakin crawled towards him and leant against his chest. "Thanks," he muttered when Obi-Wan put his arms around him.

"Is this alright or would you rather put some clothes on?" Obi-Wan asked him because both of them were still naked and Obi-Wan was not sure if it made Anakin feel uncomfortable.

"It's alright to me," Anakin said. "What about you?"

"I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired."

"Yes, you're right, we should really sleep now." They lay down together and Obi-Wan pulled a blanket over them. Anakin switched off the light with a wave of his hand and for a moment, they just lay there in the darkness, listening to each other's breathing in the silence.

"So you still miss Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan whispered.

"Yes. Very much… I felt so lonely all those years until we finally met again... I wonder, how does this sound to you, Obi-Wan? Your Master went missing a few weeks ago, and you have to comfort _me_ because my Master died several _years_ ago."

"Well, I told you I know Master Dooku is still alive. He's not dead, so there's no reason to grieve. Sure, I miss him and I worry all the time. Being with you helps me. If I was alone, it'd be much worse."

"Hm. Can you promise me one thing?"

"That depends."

Anakin chuckled softly. "I knew you'd say that. Well, promise me you'll come to me if there's ever anything I can do for you."

"Oh, right, that's not such a hard promise."

"I was being seriously."

"And so was I."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And here comes the first time I remind you of that promise: There _is_ something you can do for me now: Stop repeating the same question again and again and just be quiet. I'm dead tired."

Anakin chuckled again. "Alright, I will do that. Goodnight, Obi-Wan."

He snuggled closer against Obi-Wan and he really kept his promise and stayed silent.

Obi-Wan's thoughts drifted back to the day Qui-Gon had died. He still remembered how that day had changed Anakin. It had happened when Anakin had disappeared into the palace chamber where Qui-Gon's body had been laid on a bier. He had been frightened of going into that room but he had wanted to be alone with Qui-Gon for a few minutes. _I'm going to wait here for you._ That was what Obi-Wan had told him. But the weeping boy had not come back. Instead, a young Jedi Knight had walked out of the doors.

Obi-Wan had kept the promise he had given to that frightened, desperate, lonely boy. He had waited for a very long time. But now the boy had finally dared to come out of the chamber with the dead body again, where he had been locked up for so long.


	22. A Trap?

**Author's Note:** Thanks for your encouraging feedback! I'm really grateful :) Thanks to Sentrosi for betaing! I don't want it to sound weird, so I just left the "light speed" out ;-)

**Warning**: This chapter contains slashy parts again.

* * *

Waking up was an awkward event. Firstly, because it was much too early. It seemed they had fallen asleep only minutes before the shrill alarm clock chimed. Second (and that contributed a greater deal to the awkwardness), because both of them were stark naked and their legs and arms intertwined. At first, both of them groaned, disgruntled because it was so early and they were still so tired but when their senses slowly awakened, the realisation of what they were doing and, worse, what they had done last night, sank slowly in. Feeling the heat creep into his face, Obi-Wan removed his hand, which had been draped loosely on Anakin's hip, as unobtrusively as possible. There was some uncomfortable coughing, they both made a point of not looking at each other and then Anakin crawled out from under the blanket. Obi-Wan quickly turned away so Anakin did not feel like being watched. Their backs turned to each other, they both started dressing in silence. From time to time, Obi-Wan threw brief glances over his shoulder. It seemed Anakin was doing the same because, when Obi-Wan turned his head around for the fifth time, Anakin was looking over his shoulder too. Their eyes met and there was no way Obi-Wan could simply turn away again and pretend nothing had happened.

He cleared his throat. "Good morning." His voice was meant to sound cheerful but the words came out in a very odd way. _Good morning._ Obi-Wan groaned inside. Either he should laugh now or commit suicide for such an absolutely stupid thing to say. The absurdity of the situation dawned on him. Somehow, the knowledge that this was an extremely laughable situation made him relax a bit.

"Morning," Anakin whispered back, grinning and blushing at the same time.

Relieved, Obi-Wan grinned too and then he quickly turned around again and finished dressing.

"Erm, Obi-Wan, I'm leaving now," Anakin said, who was fully dressed now too.

"Don't you want to eat something for breakfast first?"

"There's no time for that. I'm going to eat something during the briefing with my new commanders."

"Alright."

"Well. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you."

Anakin hesitated for a moment but then he stepped at Obi-Wan's side, pulled him into a one-armed hug and placed a little kiss on his cheek. "Was that alright to you?" he asked nervously when they separated.

"More than alright," Obi-Wan reassured him, smiling widely at him. It was only a little gesture but to Obi-Wan it meant the world.

ooooooo

Their relationship continued in that way but the awkwardness quickly faded. It was a strange, almost surreal time. Every morning, when Anakin left to battle, Obi-Wan told him to be careful and 'I love you'. Anakin reacted to that sentence by silence and a tender kiss. When Anakin returned, it was much the same. If he was extremely tired, they would just lie down together and fall asleep - maybe after a bit of kissing and cuddling. If he had had a bad day or was simply devastated because of everything, they would make love. With time, Obi-Wan could tell exactly what Anakin needed at which time. Anakin might be a natural leader, who led armies to war, but in bed, Obi-Wan took the lead. Anakin enjoyed being allowed to hand over responsibility for once. Together with Obi-Wan was the only place where he was allowed to be weak. Sometimes, Anakin cried silent tears during their love making. When that had happened for the first time, Obi-Wan had been deeply shocked.

"Anakin? What is wrong? Did I hurt you? Don't you want this anymore? Shall we stop?"

"No, don't stop. I'm alright. Don't stop."

"But you're crying."

"Yes... I don't know why it is like that... It's always like that when I'm with you."

"Oh. That's not good... Why...?"

"Being with you is definitely good. Don't worry. I'm fine. Really."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't really know... I just know that there's a lot of shit in this galaxy and you are one of the few exceptions."

That was by far the oddest compliment Obi-Wan had ever got.

It was a time of getting to know each other better. It seemed highly ironic that it needed a galaxywide war for them to finally learn more about each other. Obi-Wan learned that Anakin only snored when he had had an extremely exhausting time without sleep. Anakin learned that Obi-Wan was slightly grumpy and uncommunicative when he was very tired. Obi-Wan learned that Anakin's favourite sort of protein bars was starfruit. So he would always save those with starfruit flavour for Anakin. Anakin learned that Obi-Wan was addicted to meditation and stimcaf. No morning passed without the ritual meditation and hot stimcaf. Obi-Wan learned that Anakin had a way of forgetting where he had put his things the last night and would always be in a hurry in the morning when he could not find them quickly. Anakin learned that Obi-Wan really got along well with the clones. So if he ever had the slightest problem in his troop, he could rely on Obi-Wan to sort it out with a few simple words.

They never spoke about what it was between them. They refused to think about the future. They pretended everything was normal.

ooooooo

"What do you think caused his sudden change in mind?" Mace Windu thoughtfully asked Master Yoda. The two Jedi Masters were sitting in Yoda's private quarters. The jalousies were shut so that only single rays of light fell into the almost dark room. It was an unofficial meeting, not unlike the meeting with the Chancellor a few hours ago. Mace hated all the secrets and off the record assignments. Fighting outside in the battlefield was a welcome distraction to him nowadays. And that frightened him even more.

"Odd it is – and worrying – that not heard we have of the rumours he spoke of," Yoda muttered.

Mace nodded darkly. "So you think it is a lie?" he inquired cautiously. A part of him wanted to believe that the information was true but he knew he must not act imprudently. Maybe someone just had made it up. "Someone willingly started the rumours in order to lure the Jedi into a trap?"

"A lie maybe it is not. But a trap it could be."

Mace forced himself not to frown. Yoda was already far ahead – or somewhere entirely else – with his train of thoughts again. "You consider it possible that Dooku is still alive?" he asked, trying to sound doubtful and not hopeful.

"Hmm… cloud our sight on the Force, the dark side does," Yoda said sadly.

Mace rubbed his forehead. He knew what it meant. If even Master Yoda could not sense things clearly anymore… It meant the worst: The Jedi could not trust in the Force anymore. Just then, he received a slight poke against his elbow. Master Yoda was gently nudging him with his stick.

"Despair not the way of the Jedi is, hmm?" he kindly reprimanded his colleague and shook his head disapprovingly, causing his ears to waggle. "Trust in the Force, we must. Trust in the light, we must. Despair is caused by the dark side. If give in to this we do, then already won the Sith have."

"Yes, of course, Master Yoda," Mace answered, feeling like a young Padawan again. He was grateful to have Master Yoda around, who would never stop trusting in the Force. That was his true strength. Not his command of the Force. Not his ability to wield a lightsaber. No, it was his unwavering faith that made him the wisest Jedi ever.

Mace cleared his throat. "Back to the topic. If – hypothetically – Dooku was indeed still alive…then why did he never contact us?" And while he was formulating his question, he already knew the answer. "Someone is holding him prisoner," he concluded in shock, "and he wants to lure us to him…right into a trap."

"Possible that is," Yoda agreed. The two men remained silent for a moment. Then Yoda spoke again. "A principle Qui-Gon had concerning traps."

If Mace had not lost the ability to smile during this war, he would have smiled now. Qui-Gon, being the hopelessly reckless Jedi he was, had always only done one thing if he was confronted with a possible trap: he had run straight into the trap and had sprung it – without any plan, of course. "You're right," Mace acknowledged, "There's no other way to find out what this is all about. I'll go to Antar 4 and lead the search troop myself." The Chancellor had already decided to lead an investigation on the planet where Dooku's last mission had been to and where his lightsaber had been found. However, the Chancellor wanted to send only thirty clone soldiers there – without a Jedi General or Commander to lead them. He said he needed the Jedi elsewhere in battle. He just had to send someone there because the rumours that Dooku was still alive were quite persistent (at least that's what the Chancellor said… Mace had not heard of any such rumour so far). It was probably just for reasons of publicity. If Palpatine did not do anything, the media (and that meant sooner or later the rest of the galaxy and the senators) would become enraged. After all, Dooku had been one of the most famous Jedi alive. If the matter was, however, as serious as Yoda feared, thirty clone soldiers could not achieve much.

"Hmm, relieved I am to hear this," Yoda commented. "Gone there myself, I would have, if not offered to go you had. Go to my mission on Jabiim, now I still can."

Mace was relieved too. He had half expected Yoda to restrain him from searching for Dooku. "Padawan Kenobi still has not contacted the Council, has he?" Mace changed the topic.

"No, to no one he has reported yet."

"This is alarming…"

"Mean it could that there is nothing to report," Yoda objected.

Mace shook his head in frustration. "Even if there was nothing to report, he should have contacted us and told us that. I'm worried about them. I fear Kenobi was not ready for such a task yet. What if…" He trailed off. He preferred not to finish the sentence.

"A few more days we will give him for his decision," Yoda stated cryptically.

Sometimes, Mace thought the old Jedi Master did it on purpose to annoy him. "Which decision?" he asked patiently.

"If spy on his friend he will."

"Ah." Mace had not realised that was open to debate. The Council had made their request pretty clear. Kenobi had never defied the Council before. But considering who his Master had been… Mace cringed inwardly. "I don't think it was a wise decision to send the two of them together on a mission," he said, fearing the worst.

"Trust them to do the right thing, we must," Yoda insisted. "If the Jedi mistrust each other, then not strong enough we will be to defeat the Sith."

"Yes… Nevertheless, I will try to contact them before I go to Antar 4."

"Yes. Careful you be on your mission. More to this than meets the eye there is, I feel."

"Yes, Master Yoda. Thank you. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you, my young friend."

When Mace tried to contact Kenobi and Skywalker on Senali, no one answered his call. No matter what Yoda said, he _was_ worried about them. Luckily for Mace, he did not know what exactly the two young Jedi were doing right now that distracted them from answering his call. Otherwise, he would have been even more worried.

ooooooo

Many, many systems away, newly appointed commander Karan chose a very unfortunate moment to disturb Anakin and Obi-Wan in their tent. They had a day off because, surprisingly, the Separatists had agreed to stop the fighting for the Senalian National Day. Karan's voice came through the site of the tent. "General Skywalker, this is Commander Karan. The Senali Chieftain sends me to invite you to their Komala ceremony."

Anakin's mind needed some time to digest that piece of information. He had been too focussed on other things.

"Tell them you can't come because…,"Obi-Wan whispered into Anakin's ear. "…because…because… They can do their Force-forsaken ceremony without you."

"Language, Padawan Kenobi," Anakin whispered back, hardly able to conceal his laughter.

"Tell them I cannot come because I don't feel very well today," Anakin shouted, "and... I appreciate their invitation and I would have liked to come, and with the utmost regret..."

"The Chieftain said it is very important you come. He gave some hints that the ceremony was not only about celebrating the Komala ceremony, but that he would like to discuss important matters concerning the war with you. It's, um, kind of unofficial."

Anakin groaned in frustration. He did not have much of a choice, of course. He was a Jedi and he could not afford his feelings to get into his way.

"General Skywalker?" Karan prodded.

"Just stay here," Obi-Wan started again. Anakin simply put his hand on Obi-Wan's mouth and stopped him from further arguing.

"Uh, yes, Commander. Can't it wait a little longer?"

"I'm afraid no, Sir."

"Alright." Anakin groaned again. "I'll be there in a minute." He lifted his hand from Obi-Wan's mouth so he could give him a brief kiss. "Sorry for that," he muttered apologetically and then got up and started dressing quickly.

Obi-Wan slumped down in frustration. "I _hate_ those briefings, discussions and negotiations."

"A Jedi must not hate," Anakin reminded him, grinning slightly.

"We do a lot of things a Jedi must not do," Obi-Wan countered.

"Fair point," Anakin had to admit. "May the Force be with you." He made to leave but Obi-Wan stopped him.

"Wait!" He jumped up from his sleeping mat and pulled Anakin into a big hug. "I love you."

Anakin smiled briefly. He always felt a bit uncomfortable when Obi-Wan said that because there was nothing he could say in return. He remained silent as he always did and brushed his thumb over Obi-Wan's temple, saying a silent _I care for you too._ They shared one last deep kiss. But it did not remain the last one. Obi-Wan did not let go of him and kissed him again and again. "Obi-Wan, stop this," Anakin protested half-heartedly, his voice muffled by Obi-Wan's lips. "What if Commander Karan comes in and sees us like this?"

"Well, that's not my problem, is it? I mean, you are the Master here. I'm only the helpless, innocent Padawan who was seduced."

Anakin chuckled softly. "Just wait, you innocent Padawan. When I will be back, I'll show you some seduction."

"Hm, I'm looking forward to that."

"I'll try to get away from that ceremony as quickly as possible. Will you wait here?"

"Sure."

Anakin smiled and looked Obi-Wan up and down. He was still completely naked. Anakin fondly ran a hand down Obi-Wan's chest. "You'll wait here like this?" he whispered. Blushing slightly, Obi-Wan just nodded. "Alright, then I will definitely hurry to get back," Anakin promised, and after some more kisses, he really had to leave.

Sighing deeply, Obi-Wan got back to bed. The sheets were still warm. He snuggled into them, closed his eyes and recalled the sensation of Anakin's hands on his body. Anakin's hands... The palms were calloused and had blisters from all the lightsaber fights and hard training, there was always dirt under the fingernails and there were little scratches on the knuckles. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan could not imagine that anything could feel better than Anakin's hands. With a little smile on his face, he drifted off to sleep again.

He had a strange dream. He saw Master Dooku. There were flames around the old Jedi Master. He looked tired and reached out with his hand. His lips were moving but no sound escaped them. Obi-Wan looked around: there was no one to be seen Dooku was talking to. All of a sudden, Dooku's eyes focussed on Obi-Wan, and finally Obi-Wan could understand what he was saying:

"Come to me. I need your help, my young apprentice."

Obi-Wan woke with a start. At first, he thought it was the scary dream, which had woken him up. But once he was fully awake, his senses signalled something else too. Something was wrong. He felt it in the Force. People were in fear, no, not fear, it was sheer panic. And there was much pain. Obi-Wan jumped up from his sleeping mat, quickly enwrapped his cloak around him and hurried out of the tent. The soldiers were bustling with nervous excitement, they were moving in an uncontrolled way. No one seemed to know in which direction to go. They were talking to each other in agitated voices. Something was going on. There was, however, no immediate danger. No hostile army attacking, no fearsome monster, no environmental catastrophe.

His unease growing with each passing second, Obi-Wan stopped one of the clone troopers. "Excuse me, can you tell me what happened?" he asked urgently.

"It was a trap."

"What was a trap?"

"The ceremony. General Skywalker and the commanders were lured into a trap."

"What happened?" Obi-Wan asked quietly without looking at the clone trooper.

"A detonator was placed in the building where they were to meet." The clone trooper paused uncomfortably.

"So?" Obi-Wan asked urgently.

The clone trooper avoided Obi-Wan's eyes. His voice was steady when he spoke but his fingers nervously tapped the blaster at his belt. "They're all dead."

"They can't be," Obi-Wan said, staring down at his feet. He was still barefoot.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know, I know... not a very nice place to stop... The next chapter is almost finished, so it will be up as soon as I have finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow ;-)


	23. A Vision?

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait... I know I said I'd update sooner. But it's the time of the summer holidays, so first I had to read Deathly Hallows, then, when I had finished the chapter my beta had gone camping, then, when the chapter was finished and betaed I was away on holidays... Well, sorry again. I'm afraid the next updates will be rather sporadic again. Yeah, summer holidays, the most stressful time of the year ;-)

I hope it was worth the wait, and thanks for your feedback!

* * *

"They can't be dead," Obi-Wan said again. He kept his gaze on his bare feet. It just could not be possible. A few hours ago, they had been perfectly happy; they had made stupid jokes... Stupid jokes, indeed. Couldn't they have said something more meaningful than suggestive remarks about sex?

"No one could have survived such an explosion," the clone trooper said.

Anakin had told Obi-Wan he would hurry to come back. He could not be dead!

"What shall we do now?" the clone trooper asked. "The Separatists will attack tomorrow, if not today. We need a commander, if not a general."

"Yes..." Obi-Wan nodded absent-mindedly.

That moment, another clone trooper approached them. "Kenobi, I just informed the Temple about recent events. General Fisto wants to speak to you immediately."

"Yes..." Obi-Wan rubbed his face, scatterbrained. "Yes... Erm... Now? Where is Master Fisto?"

The clone trooper gave Obi-Wan a funny look. "You can use the comm-station in your tent. It's Channel One."

"Oh… okay," Obi-Wan muttered. Of course he knew that. His brain was just not working properly at the moment. Still feeling like stunned, he trotted back into the tent and activated Channel One. Although Master Fisto was only a blue little holo-person, Obi-Wan had never seen him look so grim before.

"Padawan Kenobi, stay where you are. Don't do anything. There's no use fighting the Separatist Army back. Senali is lost to us. Without Master Skywalker -" Master Fisto's voice seemed to crack with emotion. It also could have been a disruption in the transmission. "We need to make sure now they don't invade Rutan as well. I myself am on my way to Rutan. All you have to do now is stay on Senali. Tell the troops to be ready for leaving Senali as soon as I arrive. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said dully.

And that was all there was to it. Obi-Wan would stay here, doing nothing. Master Dooku was gone. Anakin was gone. And Obi-Wan would just go on with his meaningless life. Go on, go on, go on... Another mission, another war... And there was nothing Obi-Wan could do. He should just wait here? He should not do anything? It was obvious he was totally superfluous. So why stay here, doing nothing, if he was so useless? He could just as well do something useful. It was not likely that he would be successful but at least it would be _something_.

The strange thing was: Obi-Wan did not believe Anakin was dead. He had to be still alive - just like Master Dooku. It was the same - Obi-Wan had not felt their deaths. They had to be still alive. _Or are they dead and I just can't accept it?_ But Qui-GonJinn's death had felt so different. There was no question whether Qui-Gon was dead. And not only because Obi-Wan had seen his corpse. No, he had also felt it in the Force. When Qui-Gon had died, his presence in the Force had not only simply vanished - the "place" where he had been had not only become empty - no, the emptiness had been filled by something. Something like a negative counterpart to the once alive Jedi Knight, as if the emptiness had manifested itself in the Force. With Anakin and Dooku, however, things were different. Obi-Wan could not sense them anymore but he could not sense their deaths either. There were no marks in the Force that signalled their deaths. It was very odd that this happened already with two people who were supposedly dead. And it also confused Obi-Wan that no one else perceived the same as he did. Certainly at least Master Yoda should feel that their deaths were lacking in the Force. Or was Obi-Wan really imagining things? Was it because the Jedi's abilities in using the Force were dimmed by the dark side that he could not sense things as clearly as he had before? Was he only clinging to a last, desperate hope?

Undecided, Obi-Wan figured that the only thing he could do right now was meditation. Maybe he could gain some clarity in meditation. What had Master Dooku always taught him? While Obi-Wan settled down into a meditation posture, he reminded himself of his Master's words: _It is never enough to just regard the little things. You must understand the whole and only then you can infer to the detail._

Yes, maybe Dooku's and Anakin's disappearances somehow belonged together. Could it really be mere coincidence that the two persons who meant most to Obi-Wan disappeared in much the same mysterious circumstances shortly one after the other? But why could someone have a reason to rob Obi-Wan of the people he loved? Which aim was behind it? _Who could have a reason to do something like that to me?_ Revenge? Hardly. Why should someone go to such lengths for reasons of revenge? What had Obi-Wan ever done to deserve that? And _if_ it was revenge, the lunatic certainly would want to show themselves in order to show off and savour the pleasures of their revenge...

In his meditation state, Obi-Wan's thoughts drifted back to a time when he had been seventeen and his Master had taught him an important lesson.

_"I have a bad feeling about this," Obi-Wan muttered mostly to himself when he was walking behind his Master towards the shuttle with the Senators whom they were supposed to protect. _

_"You have a bad feeling about what?" Master Dooku inquired. _

_"Uh, nothing," Obi-Wan said, slightly embarrassed. He had not meant to say the words aloud, they had merely slipped his tongue. "It's nothing important."_

_"Did you sense anything?" Dooku asked._

_"No, I just had a funny feeling for a little moment, nothing important, really. I'm sorry, Master."_

_"Hm." Dooku eyed him thoughtfully. "You have certainly heard about the abilities of some Jedi to catch glimpses of the future?"_

_"Yes, Master." Surprised, Obi-Wan stared at his Master. He could not possibly be suggesting...?_

_"Did you see something in the future?" Dooku asked directly. _

_"No, no, certainly not," Obi-Wan quickly fended off. "As I said, it was just a funny feeling. It could have been the exhaust fumes of some speeder or a strange noise or whatever. Maybe a face that was vaguely familiar to me or a new skyscraper, which caught my attention... It could have been anything. It's nothing to worry about, Master."_

_"__**Padawan**__." Dooku gave Obi-Wan one of his sternest glances. "You know very well that a Jedi must not let himself be distracted by such things. He must always be mindful of his surroundings."_

_"Yes, Master. I'm sorry."_

_Dooku shook his head slightly. "Certainly you have had __**funny feelings **__before because of some strange noise or smell, right?"_

_"Well, um, yes. I suppose everyone remarks something like that from time to time, right?"_

_"Exactly. But you never said before you had a bad feeling because there was an unexpected noise. Why did you say it this time?"_

_"I don't really know. I was not heeding my words."_

_Dooku measured him disapprovingly. "What was it that distracted you?"_

_"I'm __not sure. I can't remember, Master."_

_"Well, as a Jedi you __**should**__ be able to remember."_

_"I'm sorry, Master," Obi-Wan said, subdued._

_"Focus on the Force," Dooku said calmly, not really annoyed by Obi-Wan's inattentiveness. "Call everything which happened during the last moments back to your mind. As a Jedi, you should be able to remember every detail. Find out what this bad feeling of yours was about."_

_"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and recalled the events leading up to his "bad feeling". They had spoken to Supreme Chancellor Valorum. The Chancellor had said he was personally affected by the assassination attempts on the Senators, especially because some of the Senators threatened were close friends of his, like Senators Teem, Palpatine and Antilles. He had wished the Jedi good luck on their mission and asked them to do everything they could to protect the Senators well. Then the Jedi had gone on their way to the shuttle where the politicians were already waiting. Obi-Wan relived every moment he had walked down the docking bay. He saw the colours of the traffic lights and the many speeders and air taxis, he remembered the direction of each of them. He heard the sounds again, braking, hooting, signals to go... He remembered every shadow of vehicles flying over them. He checked every face of the people they had passed on their way (mostly security) and there was nothing - absolutely nothing - which justified his bad feeling. _

_Sighing softly, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and threw his Master an apologetic glance. "I just don't know what it was."_

_Dooku nodded, not annoyed but as if he had expected this answer. "So you mean to say that there was nothing in your surroundings which caused your feeling?"_

_"No. It's probably... well, I ate very much for breakfast today and, you know, maybe it was just my stomach which felt somewhat queasy." Dooku looked still strict but Obi-Wan had come to read his Master's expression during the years and right now Dooku was wearing the expression that meant that he was slightly amused. _

_"I think you would know it if it had been your stomach," Dooku observed. "Maybe the Force sent you a warning of something."_

_"A warning about what?" _

_"How should I know? You are the one with the __**bad feeling**__. I did not sense anything."_

_"Then it certainly was nothing important," Obi-Wan said, clearly embarrassed. If Master Dooku did not feel it, why then should Obi-Wan feel something? "I know I'm not quite in tune with the Living Force yet."_

_"Then listen more closely, Padawan. It is obvious the Force told you something. Were you not taught that you have to listen to the midi-chlorians?"_

_Obi-Wan reddened somewhat. "Yes, I know that..."_

_"Now I have a task for you, Padawan," Dooku declared. "Find out what the Force tried to tell you. It could be very important for our mission."_

_"Erm..." Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "So you actually think the Force __**did**__ try to tell me something? You really think it could be something important?"_

_"That's what I think, indeed," Dooku said dryly. "I cannot remember the Force ever telling something **unimportant** to anyone."_

_"Yes, of course." Obi-Wan grinned a little bit. "But, Master, I have no idea how to find out. I mean, you just said that the feeling was not about my immediate surroundings. So it could be __**anything**__, right? How can I know what it was? How am I to start?"_

_"It is never enough to just regard the little things. You must understand the whole and only then you can infer to the detail," Dooku explained._

_"Okay..." Obi-Wan still did not really know what to do. "I should perhaps meditate on it."_

_"Yes, I would recommend that. Alright, Padawan, let's do our assignment now. We should not let the Senators wait too long."_

_Together they walked towards the shuttle with the Senators. The closer they got to the ship, the more uneasy Obi-Wan grew. It was the feeling again. __**Am I imagining things?**__ he wondered nervously. _

_"Padawan?" Dooku said sharply. He turned to look at Obi-Wan and observed him very critically. He seemed to have sensed Obi-Wan's unease._

_"It's the feeling again," Obi-Wan said, feeling somewhat guilty for delaying their assignment again. _

_"Listen to it, Obi-Wan," Dooku encouraged him. "Don't fight it back. What is it telling you?"_

_Hesitantly, Obi-Wan put out his feelers in the Force. There it was again, like a disease still in its incubation period but ready to outbreak when the time was right. It felt as if the pathogen was this assignment but somehow it included much, much more. Many things which were still in the future… the sight was blurred. The Jedi were taught to focus on the present and that was what Obi-Wan did now. Suddenly everything was very clear. He saw their ride in the shuttle with the Senators like a red line through the Coruscanti lower levels. He saw their route and then... then he could not see anything anymore. He did not understand what it meant but he knew one thing for sure:_

_"We should use another route."_

_His Master looked at him, startled at his apprentice's sudden declaration. "Another route? What do you mean?"_

_"I mean..." Obi-Wan frowned, trying to decipher what it was he meant. "We shouldn't go through the lower levels." Surprised, Dooku raised his eyebrows. "It's not because I'm afraid to go there," Obi-Wan added. _

_Dooku nodded thoughtfully. He knew Obi-Wan was not afraid to go there because they had already had a mission in the Coruscanti underworld before. "Where should we go?"_

_Obi-Wan blinked in surprise. He had not expected his Master to agree with him. He had not expected his Master to __**believe**__ him. Normally Dooku decided what they should do and what they should not do. He was the Master, after all. Now he suddenly wanted Obi-Wan's advice? Obi-Wan nervously scratched his chin. "I don't know which route to use. I guess any route is fine. Just not the lower levels."_

_"Alright," Dooku agreed. Then he announced to the Senators, "We will take another route. One that does not lead us through the lower levels."_

_"Why's that?" Senator Antilles asked suspiciously._

_"It's safer," Dooku said simply. _

_"But we chose the route through the lower levels __**because**__ everyone agreed it was the safer route," Senator Antilles insisted._

_"Things have changed now. You must trust in our Jedi abilities," Dooku explained. "That is why we are here to protect you."_

_"Excuse me, Master Jedi," Senator Palpatine interfered. "I don't mean to offend you but I'd rather trust in bodyguards, security and decoys than in your Jedi abilities. We have planned this trip very accurately and it should be safe."_

_Master Dooku gave Senator Palpatine one of his most piercing Jedi-Master-looks. "__**I**__ lead this assignment and therefore you will do as I tell you," he declared imperiously. _

_Senator Palpatine gave Dooku a dirty look. It was obvious he was not someone who was used to being ordered around. But he kept silent nonetheless and so they took a route through the upper levels. _

_-------_

_In the evening, when the Senators had safely arrived at the Coruscanti spaceport and the Jedi had returned to the Temple, Obi-Wan and Dooku discussed the issue of Obi-Wan's bad feeling again. _

_"We need to find out if you have unusual gifts in the Unifying Force," Dooku addressed the issue._

_"Er, yes?" Obi-Wan said doubtfully. "Why should I have such gifts?"_

_"Well, our assignment was successful. We were able to escort the Senators safely through Coruscant."_

_"Yes... But maybe nothing would have happened either if we had gone through the lower levels. Nothing proved there was really a threat."_

_"Of course that could have been the case. But I do not think so. You must know that I have some knowledge in the Unifying Force too - it looks as if I'm not as sensitive to it as you are - but the Force tells me we did the right thing."_

_Obi-Wan gaped. Did Dooku actually mean to say that Obi-Wan was better in the Unifying Force than his Master? "I still don't understand," Obi-Wan admitted. "Why should I have such gifts? Why should I sense things you did not sense? I mean, I'm only an apprentice..."_

_"Yes, but the fact that you are only an apprentice does not mean you cannot have great aptitudes. And it is the same the other way around: Great aptitudes do not necessarily make you a great Jedi. No, in order to become a great Jedi you must realise you have such gifts and, more importantly, you must learn how to use them efficiently."_

_Obi-Wan listened thoughtfully. "So you mean to say that, maybe, I have such gifts in the Unifying Force but I am not able to use them yet?" _

_"Precisely. In order to find out if you have indeed such gifts, we will consult Master Yoda. He is better at it than any other Master. And then, if we discover your gifts, I will teach you how to use your talents."_

_"I..." Obi-Wan was momentarily lost for words. It had all come as a surprise. Sure, he had had funny feelings before but he had never given it much thought. "This is very unexpected to me," he said honestly. _

_"It is also unexpected to me," Dooku agreed. "I had not expected you to have such gifts."_

_"Is it, er...good or bad?" Obi-Wan asked somewhat anxiously._

_Dooku frowned. "Good or bad?" he repeated, his tone slightly disapproving. "Surely you have learned by now that abilities in themselves are neither good nor bad. It is what we __**do**__ with them."_

_"Yes, but I mean... Would it be better if I was stronger in the Living Force instead of the Unifying Force?"_

_"The Living Force and the Unifying Force are both the same Force," Dooku explained. "It is just about looking at the Force from a different angle. There have been many discussions throughout the years on how you should regard the Force. I must say I am a tad surprised you have so little knowledge in it. I want you to do some research on it in the archives tomorrow." _

_"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said dutifully. He would have done it anyway. After all, he wanted to find out more about his unusual abilities - if he indeed had them. _

_"Nowadays, most Jedi Masters agree that you should be well versed in both the Living and the Unifying Force. However, I think if someone shows exceptional potential in one way, they should use their abilities. Then it is helpful of course, if you work together with someone who is stronger in the other way. It is just important that you do not forget that there __**is**__ another way." Dooku nodded absent-mindedly. He seemed to be deep in thought. "My former apprentice, Qui-Gon Jinn, was - well, he still is - very gifted in the Living Force. Whatever I tried to teach him, he was too stubborn to acknowledge there was also the Unifying Force. He chose to ignore it because he was convinced that the Living Force was more important..." The hint of a smile played at the corners of Dooku's lips. "He was what you would call the nightmare of every Master. A very rebellious, headstrong, disobedient Padawan who did not respect the Jedi Code and had a great knack for trouble." Obi-Wan smiled at his Master. It happened seldom that Dooku shared such private memories and thoughts with him. "I think every year I spent with him has cost me three years of my life," Dooku continued. _

_"He can't have been that bad," Obi-Wan said, grinning widely. _

_"You have no idea... We'll talk about it again when you train your first Padawan."_

_"Uh-oh... Considering what you said, I don't know if I want to train a Padawan anymore."_

_"There are some good apprentices once in a while," Dooku said, smiling slightly. "And besides, if you do not agree to train a Padawan, you can never get the rank of Master."_

_"Well, I do not really need that rank. I'm happy as long as I can be a Jedi Knight one day."_

_Dooku examined him critically, then he shrugged. "If you say so..."_

_"There's something else I don't understand, Master," Obi-Wan got back to the topic. "If there was really a threat in the lower levels which I sensed... then why didn't I sense other things as well?"_

_"First of all, it could be that you did not listen closely enough the other times. But it could also be that this was a very important thing," Dooku explained. _

_"But what was so important about that ride with the shuttle?" Obi-Wan said sceptically. "I mean no disrespect, but there were only three persons. There were situations when the lives of hundreds of people were in danger... I understand the senators are so-called important persons but aren't we taught that all lives are worthwhile and no life means more or less than another life?"_

_"That is true but your mistake is that you only look at what your eyes can see. You see three persons here and hundreds of persons there. But life is more than calculating. You must look into the past and the future in order to fully understand. The present is the shortest and all-to-fleeting time ever. You must learn to see beyond the obvious." _

That was one of the best times Master and Padawan had had together. One of the rare occasions when Dooku had smiled. One of the few moments where Obi-Wan had felt he could ask his Master everything which was on his mind. There had been too few times like that one. All the same, it made those few times all the more precious and dear.

_See beyond the obvious..._

Obi-Wan racked his brain. What could it mean? If Dooku and Anakin were not dead, then where could they be and _why_? They could have got lost. Unlikely. Both of them were very great Jedi and they should be able to... _Wait. Both of them are not only one of the best Jedi but also one of the very best warriors and generals in the GAR._ So there was a reason for the Separatists to focus their attention on those two. As well as the Grand Army of the Republic focussed their attention on catching General Grievous. What had the Separatists done? Had they captured Anakin and Dooku? Why had they not killed them yet? Or did they have other plans? Did they want to use the two Jedi as hostages? Did they aim to press the Republic for concessions?

_See beyond the obvious..._

If Dooku and Anakin were indeed hostages, it was likely that they were in General Grievous's hands. Or some of the Sith Lords took care for them personally. Obi-Wan shuddered. However cruel Grievous was - a Sith Lord was much, much worse because they were dangerous. Obi-Wan did not worry so much about Dooku (he was one of the greatest Jedi Masters, after all!) but about Anakin. He knew Anakin already questioned the Jedi Order and the Republic and suffered so much from this war and his role in it. If a Sith Lord found out about it and used the knowledge to his advantage... What if Anakin believed some promises from the dark side?

In order to understand more, he went back into that time as a seventeen-year-old Padawan. He played the conversation through again and again, tried to look for a hidden meaning behind those words.

_See beyond the obvious..._

_Suddenly, the quiet __dim lit room in the Temple faded. It was replaced by bright red flames. Their heat was unbearable. It hurt, the pungent smoke which got in Obi-Wan's nostrils and made his throat dry and his eyes water. Dooku, however, was among the flames. They were all around him, licking at his dark Jedi robes but not burning him. He seemed to be untouched by them. Obi-Wan wanted to shout at him to get out of the flames because they would burn him but no words left his lips. His Master took one step towards him but the sea of flames around him followed him. He looked very gravely at Obi-Wan and his lips were moving. His eyes bore into Obi-Wan's and for some strange reason, Master Dooku seemed frightened. Obi-Wan strained his ears to understand the words but he could not hear anything. Only now he realised that he could not even hear the cackling of the flames. _

With a gasp, Obi-Wan jumped out of his meditation. What had that been? Where had it come from? Sweat stood on his forehead as if he had really been in that place with the flames. His breath came in ragged gasps and his hands were shaking violently. Had it been a vision? Or a glimpse of the future? And if so, what did it mean? Was it a warning? Or a hint where he had to go looking for Dooku?

_I have to do something!_ Obi-Wan thought desperately. The only thing he could think of was speaking to Master Yoda. If anyone could help now, it was Yoda. Hurriedly, Obi-Wan contacted the Jedi Temple. During the next minutes, his patience was tested. He spoke to several Masters (first Master Unduli, then Master Tiin, after that Master Vos). They all looked at him with the same mix of pity and annoyance. Pity because he had lost his Master and his friend. Annoyance because of his insistence to talk to Master Yoda even though they explained to him again and again that Master Yoda was not in the Temple but busy on Jabiim. But Obi-Wan did not give up. He asked the Masters to put him through to Yoda on Jabiim but of course no one was willing to understand that something a Padawan had to say was important enough to disturb Master Yoda in his important task on Jabiim.

It was probably this day that Obi-Wan Kenobi learned patience. Though it was certainly not the kind of patience the Jedi Masters thought of when they gently reprimanded the apprentices to learn patience. No, Obi-Wan's current behaviour could rather be described as stubbornness, insistency or even impudence. But finally his "patience" paid off and he was allowed to speak to Master Yaddle, who was slightly more understanding than the other Masters.

"Know you do that Yoda only leaves the Temple for very important business," Master Yaddle said disapprovingly.

"Of course I know his task on Jabiim is of the utmost importance," Obi-Wan said, trying not to sound too impatient. "But what I want to tell him is important too."

"Important enough to contact him on his mission?"

"Yes... I had a vision. A very important vision... I think."

"Hmm, careful you be when sensing the future," Yaddle said gravely. "No rash actions you must do."

"That is why I want to speak to Master Yoda about it," Obi-Wan said through gritted teeth.

She eyed him thoughtfully but at long last she nodded and said, "Speak to him you shall. But not yet. Tell him of your worries I will when he contacts the Temple next. Ask him to contact you, I will. Until then, wait you must. Patient you must be."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said wearily.

"May the Force be with you, Padawan Kenobi."

"May the Force be with you, Master." That was at least something... Tiredly, Obi-Wan lay down on his sleeping mat. He felt unusually cold. He grabbed Anakin's blanket too and wrapped it around himself. The blanket was dirty, there was even a splotch of blood on it from one of Anakin's many battle injuries, and the blanket smelled of sweat. Still, it smelt of Anakin. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, pretending nothing was wrong and Anakin was still here. That was when the tears came. He could not fight them back any longer. He could not ignore it any longer. Weeping bitterly, he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

**AN:** I'm still looking for the traditional words of greeting on Senali. The quote is in Jedi Apprentice 10 (chapter 4) and it should be something like "We wish you peace and..." Can someone help me? 


	24. Lightsabers

_Obi-Wan tried to get closer, tried to find a way through the hot flames. But they rebuked him again and again. Mocking him like long, orange, harsh tongues poking at him. Dooku was in the midst of the fire again. His demeanour told Obi-Wan that he was not affected by the heat and the pain of the burning flames at all. His eyes, however, told otherwise. He was moving his lips again and this time, Obi-Wan could understand the words:_

_"Come to me, Padawan."_

_Obi-Wan ran towards the fire again but it was futile. It was like running against a solid wall. _

_"I can't Master!" he said desperately. "I can't."_

_Then something snapped shut in Dooku's eyes and suddenly he growled like an enraged krayt dragon. One more time Obi-Wan tried to fight against the solid wall of flames but he was thrown backwards. It felt as if someone had Force-pushed him out of the way. Tumbling to the ground, his eyes caught sight of the ring he was wearing, the ring which his Master had given him for his thirteenth birthday. It was shining a bright blue. Obi-Wan struggled to get on his feet again -_

_beep - beep - beep_

Obi-Wan awoke with a start. His gaze shot to the ring at his finger. The gemstone was black. Only occasionally something dark blue flickered and died as quickly as a candle in a hurricane.

_beep - beep - beep_

It took Obi-Wan some time to find back to reality. He was back on Senali, lying lonely in a tent, sweating, his heart thudding loudly in his chest.

_beep - beep - beep_

He peeled the two blankets off his sweating body and scrambled to the comm-station. It was Master Yoda!

"Master!" Obi-Wan said, still out of breath from his horrifying dream.

"Wanted to speak to me, you did?" Yoda asked. He looked tired and battle-worn, his tunic was muddy and a long scratch covered his left ear.

_And yet he took the time to speak to me_, Obi-Wan thought gratefully. "Yes, Master. I had a vision. Well, _visions_. I had the same vision for the third time this night. It was only slightly altered."

"M-hmm. Premonitions you have?"

"I think so... I'm not sure. But... it _is_ odd that I have the same vision three times, isn't it?"

"Dream the same dream again, many people do."

"Yes, of course..." Obi-Wan bit his lower lip. The vision - or the dream - was still so vivid in his mind. He almost could feel the heat of the fire on his body. "It was more than a normal dream, Master, I'm sure of it. Please believe me."

"Believe you I do. About the nature of your premonitions you tell me?"

"Yes. Well... Master Dooku was in it." Expecting a rebuke because he did not accept death as a natural part of life, Obi-Wan gave the little holo-Master an awkward glance.

Yoda's ears drooped sadly. "More about it you tell me."

"There were flames all around him but they did not burn him. He told me to come to him but I could not get through the flames. They did burn me. And then I saw that my ring was shining blue and that means there are dark Force energies nearby."

"Hmm." Yoda thoughtfully wiggled his head. "Very curious your strange dream is. Understand it, you need to."

"So you think Master Dooku could be still alive?" Obi-Wan asked hopefully.

Yoda gave him the pitying look all the other Masters had given him before. "Found his corpse today, Master Windu did."

Obi-Wan swallowed very hard. He suddenly had a thick knot in his chest. "But I... But I had visions where he was still alive!" he said desperately. "He can't be dead! I-I mean, w-why would I have such visions?"

"Not only in the future, visions lie. Explain the past, your vision can maybe? Or help us understand secrets of the dark side, it could? Meditate on this, I will. Lead an investigation to find out how Master Dooku died, the Jedi Order will."

ooooooo

Even before Master Yoda contacted him and informed him of Padawan Kenobi's "vision", Mace Windu realised something was not right. He was sitting in a little room in the Temple, grieving over his friend's dead body. Gloomily, he stared at the many blaster wounds in Dooku's chest. It just seemed _wrong_. Master Dooku, the great, elegant and dignified Jedi Master, killed by blasters. That was not the way it was meant to be. Sadly, Mace had to admit that nowadays many things were not any longer what they were meant to be. The galaxy did not follow an order anymore. How could dumb battle droids have defeated one of the greatest Jedi Masters? It must have been a trap. A hideous, devilish trap. Angrily, Mace rubbed his forehead. Dooku should have died in a spectacular swordfight. A fight which was about honour, fairness and decency. He should not have died like this. _Never like this!_

With trembling fingers, Mace took Dooku's lightsaber, which had lain next to Dooku's corpse in the dirt, and placed it in Dooku's numb hand. _How many more Jedi will die such a humiliating death?_ Mace wondered sadly. _To how many more will I have to say goodbye?_ The sight of Dooku's lightsaber lying loosely in Dooku's rigid yet weak hand, caught Mace's attention once again. Something stirred in his memory. Several months ago, a Jedi team had already found Dooku's lightsaber on Antar 4. They had brought it back to the Temple. When the Council had declared Dooku dead, they had decided to give the lightsaber to Dooku's Padawan but Kenobi had refused to accept it. So they had placed the lightsaber at the base of a bust, which had been built in honour of Dooku after his death.

Picking the lightsaber from Dooku's lifeless hand, Mace hurried out of the room and down to the archives, where he stopped at the statue of Master Dooku. He knelt down in order to examine the lightsaber - it had been placed under clari-crystalline. Mace looked from the lightsaber in his hand to the lightsaber under the statue. At first sight, they looked identical. Had Dooku maybe had two lightsabers with him? No, certainly not. It would be practical, of course, to always carry several lightsabers but a Jedi Master as old-fashioned as Dooku would never go against his ideals for the sake of practicability. Mace undecidedly tapped his fingers at the thick clari-crystalline. He needed to examine the lightsabers more closely. Nervously, he took a look around. Nowadays, the archives were empty. There was no time for studying. The Jedi were scattered around the galaxy, fighting and dying in the Clone Wars. _If_ somebody had the time to study, they would go into the battle room.

In the Force, Mace searched for Jocasta Nu's (the librarian's) presence. Fortunately, she was currently in the restricted section, probably doing some research on the Sith. With an odd feeling of excitement, Mace ignited his lightsaber. _I had never thought the day would come when I willingly damage a statue of a great Jedi Master, _he mused, shaking his head at his own behaviour. He put his lightsaber at the clari-crystalline and carefully melted it. Then he could remove the lightsaber from the base of the bust. Dreading the day when Jocasta Nu found out about this, Mace left the archives in a hurry.

He went into his private meditation room, set the glow orbs to the highest setting (normally, the lights were always dimmed here) and placed the two identical looking lightsabers in front of him on a little table. He just looked at them for a very long time. The one which had been in the archives was polished. The other one was dirty, there were dust and even traces of dried blood on it. Both lightsaber hilts had little scratches on them but the scratches formed different patterns. Mace took one lightsaber in his left hand and the other one in his right and weighed them. They had the same weight. Respectively, he grabbed each lightsaber in his sword hand. Oddly, it felt more natural to hold the lightsaber they had found months earlier. It was almost as if it had been held more often than the other. He closed his eyes and traced his thumb very slowly over the hilt. He felt it more in the Force than under his thumb. Yes, there it was: little bulges where the fingers would curl around the hilt. The other lightsaber lacked such bulges. As if it had been never used... But then... why the scratches? Then where did the dust and the blood come from? Maybe it just had not been used as often as the other. Or maybe just in this one battle. Mace gaped in shock. Had someone stolen Dooku's lightsaber and replaced it with a faulty one? Was that why he had not been able to defend himself against battle droids? Nonsense. Dooku _never_ lost his lightsaber. Dooku would sense it immediately if he had the wrong lightsaber, he could not be fooled that easily.

Mace took the lightsaber which they had found earlier and ignited it. A blue, powerful blade sprang to life with the familiar hissing sound. It was humming with energy but the sound was nothing compared to the humming in the Force - a humming of power. This was Dooku's lightsaber, there was no doubt about it. If a Jedi built his lightsaber, he put a part of himself in it. It represented the image in his mind because before a Jedi actually built his lightsaber, he created it in his mind. It took much time and dedication to build a lightsaber. Mace knew Dooku had spent several years as a Padawan until he had been satisfied with his lightsaber. The lightsaber in Mace's hand was definitely Dooku's. He would have recognised it among thousands. He and Dooku had sparred so often... Mace could not stop his hand from trembling. Quickly, he deactivated the lightsaber and put it down. He took a deep breath before he ignited the second one, the one with the dust and the blood, the one without the bulges in the hilt.

Mace noticed the difference immediately. This lightsaber generated just as much power as the other but it was...somehow...incomplete. It was not perfect. As if it had been built in a hurry, without the necessary devotion and commitment. This weapon was only a weapon. Nothing more. And yet... it was unmistakeably Dooku's weapon too. He must have built it, his handwriting was so very distinct.

Slowly and painfully, the shattered pieces of information formed a solution in Mace's mind. Suddenly it all made sense. The truth was like loud thuds in his mind.

Dooku loses his lightsaber or is robbed of it.

He does not die as early as the Jedi assumed.

He creates a new lightsaber.

He does it in a hurry because he has a mission to complete.

Therefore there are no bulges of his fingers on the hilt. He has not had the chance to use it very often.

Because he is killed.

It happened only a few days ago.

The healers said his corpse did not look like the corpse of a man who has been dead for already several months.

And all of this means...

_If we had not stopped searching for him... If we had not declared him dead so early... We could have saved him. _

ooooooo

_There was fear in Dooku's eyes._

_A Jedi must not know fear..._

_The flames illuminated his features. He was calm and composed, as always. But his eyes... He did not move the slightest bit, although the flames caught hold of his cloak. They burned the hem until it was black. Obi-Wan wanted to help his Master, he extended his hand towards Dooku. The flames were so hot and it hurt but he could not let his Master down._

_But Dooku did not move. He just stood there, rigid. Not even his eyes, not even his mouth moved when Obi-Wan heard his voice in his head._

I need your help, Padawan.

_"Come here, Master!" Obi-Wan shouted back, hoping to wake his Master from his paralysed state. "Just take my hand!"_

_He heard Dooku's voice in his mind again. _I can't, Padawan, I can't.

_"But why?!" Obi-Wan cried desperately. _

You must go now._ The voice in his mind was soft now, almost affectionate. _You can't help me anymore, Padawan. Leave me.

_Suddenly, the Force threw Obi-Wan backwards. He landed painfully on the hard ground. His gaze rested on his ring. Its bright blue colour was a perfect contrast to the flames around him. But why was it shining blue now? A sense of foreboding found its way into his confused mind. Someone was standing behind him. _

_Slowly, Obi-Wan lifted his head up and turned to look. A dark shadow was towering over him. Then a red lightsaber grew out of the shadow. Obi-Wan tried to recognise who this person - this dark Force user - was but there was no time left for him. The red lightsaber came forward, right towards his chest. He felt a terrible pain cut through his heart._

"Aaaaaaaaah!" Obi-Wan jumped up from his sleeping mat. He was covered in sweat and his heart was beating a frantic drumming. He clutched at his heart. It hurt. The pain was so real, so much more than just a dream.

_I've just seen my death. I've just foreseen my own death. _

The vision had ended there. Had ended with the red lightsaber coming towards him and the horrible pain in his heart. In vain, he tried to calm down his ragged breaths. He needed to understand his visions. He felt they were important, so very important... _Well, there was no doubt about the last part...,_ Obi-Wan thought, shuddering.

And Dooku... why did he dream of his Master again and again? _Force, he's dead, they found his corpse! I have to accept it_, Obi-Wan tried to convince himself.

_You must go now_, he heard the faint echo of the voice from his dream. _You can't help me anymore, Padawan. Leave me._ Choking back his sobs, Obi-Wan got up, put on his tunic, grabbed his lightsaber and went outside.

It was a clear night, the many stars twinkled on the pitch-black night sky like tiny dots. No one else was up now but him. It was silent except for the distant rushing of the sea. Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber and the low humming penetrated the silence. He did a step forward and swung his lightsaber in a graceful arc. Slowly, he twisted around, raised his lightsaber, blocked an invisible opponent's blow and ducked his head to avoid the hostile blade. He raised his lightsaber in the salute of the old style, took a deep breath and attacked. He was not moving very much but his lightsaber did. He found balance; he stood there as if his feet were rooted in the earth. When his lightsaber moved forward again, he did little steps to avoid off-balance.

Yes, balance. It was about balance. His body moved on his own after years of hard training. In this dreamlike state, Obi-Wan's mind slowly regained its balance too. The agitated thoughts ceased down. He let the Force fill him, direct his moves, direct his thoughts. His eyes wandered up at the sky, at the millions of stars.

_You can look up in the sky and see that there are so many other people who are worried and have their problems. You are just one of them. And there are so many other planets. And there were so many people before you and there are many to come after you. You see all the other systems – some of which do not even exist anymore. In such moments, I feel closer to understanding about the Force than usually. I am not important, my problems will pass, my life will not make a difference in this big universe. I feel that I'm in the hands of a greater force, the Force. Then it becomes meaningful: The Force binds us, it holds us together..._

_It binds us, it holds us together... Anakin! _Obi-Wan felt him, felt his presence in the Force. It was only a very short moment, a weak glimmer... but it was unmistakeably Anakin. Anakin was still alive. _Anakin, wherever you are, I'm coming. I know we'll see again, okay? Trust me. I will come._

Obi-Wan was not alone. The stars were here. The Force was with him. He was guarded in it. There was no fear, only peace. Yes, maybe he had seen his death. But he knew he would die some day. Maybe in the Clone Wars. Maybe in eighty years. Maybe the vision was still very far in the future. Death was a natural part of life. When his time would come, Obi-Wan would accept it.

The night was warm and the breezes of soft air felt soothing on his skin. He looked up at the stars again, a small smile on his lips. _Anakin, I know you're somewhere out there. You're on one of those many little dots. But I'll find you. I promise. And Master Dooku is there too. __I just know. I will come, Master. _

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**Author's Note:** Are you confused now? Hehe, I'd like to hear your theories on what's going on.

Thanks for your feedback (review replies can be seen on my profile page, as always) and very special thanks to my beta reader Sentrosi.

Don't expect the next update too quickly. I like my ideas for the next chapter very much and it could get a really good chapter... The problem is: The words refuse to get into my fingers. It's not really writer's block yet...but it's pretty close to that. Second problem: I have already written parts of it but I can't remember where I put it... Not good :S


	25. The Mirror of Truth

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait... I guess you have to thank little-leah, who sent me such a nice review yesterday that I got a really bad conscience for having abandoned this story for such a long time, and also Sentrosi, who is an incredibly fast beta reader. Okay, this chapter has been very complicated to write and I had parts of it finished months ago but today I sat down in front of my computer and forced myself to finish it. Phew, so glad it finally worked. Well, let's see how you like it...

**Warning**: This chapter is very strange, it deals with death, and I tried to use lots of symbols, and I had to make up all sort of stuff... And there are several OCs. No, Obi-Wan will _not_ fall in love with anyone of them. No, they will _not_ be major characters. They have just a brief appearance in this chapter and you will never see them again, I promise ;-)

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**Chapter 25**

**The Mirror of Truth**

The next morning, Obi-Wan felt extremely exhausted and had a bad headache. He remembered the vow he had sworn last night. Yes, he would go looking for Anakin and Master Dooku but where should he start? He had to accept that, right now, he could not do anything. He had to trust in the Force to show him a way when the time was right. So he helped the clone troops to prepare for leaving Senali. A Jedi Master should show up soon and lead the troops to battle on Rutan. There was not very much Obi-Wan could do because the clones were perfectly coordinated and worked more efficiently if no one got in their way. So Obi-Wan soon found himself pacing restlessly in front of his tent.

"_You_."

Obi-Wan whirled around to look at the person who had addressed him: A Senalian woman clad in rags was waggling a bony, pale blue finger at him. Obi-Wan had never met her before. She had huge, dark silver eyes, black lips and wore an elaborate headdress with lots of things sticking in it. She kept staring unblinkingly at Obi-Wan.

"Erm, did we meet before?" he asked politely.

She lowered her finger and gave him an almost accusing glance. "I saw you," she answered simply.

"Did you? When? I'm afraid I can't remember you."

"The ancestors told me. They told me you would come."

"Ah," Obi-Wan replied, his unease growing. "You mean to say they told you I would come to Senali?"

"No, no… They told me you would come to me. You are looking for your loved one, aren't you?"

"Y-yes," Obi-Wan stammered, surprised but even more unnerved. How did that woman know?!

"They told me a young outlander would come to me on the Day of the Opening. They told me he would be grieving for his loved one. They told me he would beg me to see his loved one again, just once again, and he would be willing to do everything for that."

Obi-Wan's heart skipped a beat. His hand darted to the hilt of his lightsaber. "Where is Anakin? Where is General Skywalker?" he demanded to know.

The woman's face softened. She regarded him with an almost pitying look. "He is gone with the others."

"Who are _the others_?" Obi-Wan said harshly. "_Answer me!_"

"They who prepare for the last passage. The boat has already left. It is too late, my dear."

"Which boat? Where are they going? I can still catch up with them. I'm a Jedi and Jedi have special abilities. I can do it."

"Even the Jedi cannot bring back the deceased."

Obi-Wan swallowed. "So… so he's dead?" he asked weakly.

"Is he not?" the woman retorted.

"Well, I… No, he's not. That is… I hope he's not," Obi-Wan replied, confused.

"Oh." The woman eyed him curiously. "So he is missing?"

Finally, Obi-Wan came back to his senses. He drew his lightsaber and put it at the woman's neck. He had already said too much. It was very probable that she was a spy of the Separatists. "Tell me what you know," Obi-Wan said menacingly. "Tell me _everything_."

She gulped and stared warily at the humming, blue blade at her throat. She was much taller than him but now she simply looked like a frightened and fragile old woman. "What – what do you want from me?" she said nervously.

"Your name, for a start. Who are you?" Obi-Wan was on guard now. He knew very well that appearances could fool you.

"I'm Melaahe, keeper of the keys of the Great Door."

"Where is Anakin Skywalker? Is he your hostage?" He had done it before: Questioning suspects was a routine task as a Jedi. Unblinkingly, he gazed into her dark eyes. His eyes never left her wrinkled face, which was covered with silver scales. None of the slightest movement of hers could escape his notice. The woman – Melaahe, if that indeed was her name – squirmed under his penetrating glance.

"I don't have any hostages. I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"You just told me you knew I'd come to you. Who told you? Who sent you to me?"

"The ancestors told me."

"So you said before. Who are they?"

"Our deceased forefathers. I went to seek their counsel last year on the Day of the Opening."

_Oh no…_ Obi-Wan groaned. He knew there was a death cult in several of Senali's traditional clans. He had not caught a Separatist spy but an occultist, it seemed. There was only one detail which did not fit into that conclusion: The woman had known she would meet Obi-Wan and she also knew he was looking for his "loved one". Obi-Wan did not believe it was possible to communicate with the dead, so the question remained: How did that woman know so much about him?

"They told me I would help you," the woman continued.

"And did they also tell you _how_ you would help me?" Obi-Wan retorted sarcastically.

"Yes, indeed they did."

"Well, then help me," Obi-Wan challenged her, not removing his lightsaber a bit from her throat.

"I can show you the way to the Great Door. If you are willing to go through, you can see him once again."

"As I said before, he is not dead," Obi-Wan said grimly.

"Ah yes…" The woman threw Obi-Wan a nervous glance. "But you can seek the ancestors' wisdom. They can help you. They can show you the truth."

Obi-Wan hesitated. Naturally, he did not believe it was possible. And yet… What if there was the slightest chance that it was possible? What if he did not seize this chance? He would regret it for the rest of his life. He did not have any hopes of success but there was nothing else he could do right now, so he could at least try, right? "Okay…" He deactivated his lightsaber. "Then bring me to that Great Door."

She grinned at him, bolder now as the lightsaber did not threaten to decapitate her anymore. "What can you offer as payment?"

"I don't have money with me," Obi-Wan said in frustration. He should have known it could not be that easy.

"You certainly have something else." Her gaze rested on the lightsaber at his belt. "That weapon of yours." Her eyes were gleaming now and she bent down to have a closer look at Obi-Wan's lightsaber, like a dealer sniffing the deal of his life.

"_No!_" Obi-Wan exclaimed in shock. "That's my – that's my _lightsaber_. There's no way I would ever give my _lightsaber_ away."

"Then there's nothing I can do for you," she said curtly and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Obi-Wan said quickly. "Alright, alright, I'm going to look if I can find something else to pay you with. But not my lightsaber."

In the end, Obi-Wan offered the Senalian woman half of his and Anakin's possessions: vibro-knifes, survival packs, a holoprojector, lots of candleberry protein bars and energy capsules. Of course they did not need it anymore in the current situation… but nonetheless, it was wrong to waste your survival equipment just for… a ridiculous occultist session? Obi-Wan questioned his own sanity when he followed the strange woman through another beautiful Senalian wood with many blowing flowers. The sweet perfume they emanated was almost overwhelming. It gave Obi-Wan a headache and he felt thoroughly sick with himself for just running brainlessly into a trap – because he was convinced that was what he was doing. But he kept walking on, automatically putting one foot in front of the other. He could not explain it but he felt a strong pull towards that place – whatever it was. And maybe running into a trap was the only way to discover the true villain behind this.

Melaahe lead him further into the woods where the trees stood closer to each other and their rich tree tops blocked the sunlight from view. Finally, they arrived at a large clearing. Several people, mostly Senalians, were already assembled there. They sat in groups on the earth and were drinking and eating. It could have been a party if it had not been for the odd atmosphere. No one laughed, people were talking in hushed voices and an air of gravity but at the same time nervous anticipation hung above everything. The scene was dominated by a huge stone arch which stood at the other end of the clearing. Parts of it were overgrown with little tendrils and it looked ancient, as if it had always been there even before there had been life on this planet. The entrance hole was only very small and you could not see what was behind it.

"Welcome to the Great Door," Melaahe said in a misty voice.

Not taking his gaze off the arch, Obi-Wan nodded solemnly. He did not know what he was expected to do but he knew well enough to respect foreign cultures and beliefs.

"Well, will you excuse me, please," Melaahe said, "I have to attend duty now. You can join the others." She indicated the many people in the clearing.

"Very well," Obi-Wan replied. "Thank you."

Hesitantly, he walked towards the nearest group of people. "May I join you?" he asked politely.

"Sure," said a young Senalian woman with heavily lidded eyes.

"Thank you." Obi-Wan sat down with them and took a look around. He noticed that most people were women. There were only a few very old men among them.

"Are you looking for someone too?" asked the young woman sitting opposite him.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Are you too?"

"We all are," she replied, smiling wanly.

"It's a shame," lamented an old woman who sat next to Obi-Wan. Her long silver hair looked dirty and so did the rest of her appearance. In fact, almost everyone here looked dirty and worn. "Nowadays, people don't go through the Great Door to seek wisdom from the ancestors anymore. With the Clone Wars going on… Look," she sadly nodded in Obi-Wan's direction, "even outlanders already come here because they can't bear the losses."

"Melaahe said the ancestors told her I was coming," Obi-Wan said.

"Course she did," the young woman said offhandedly. "She tells it to everyone. Well… If the ancestors indeed told her you and I and you, you, you, you, and you would come" she looked around the little group, "well, she must have spent an awful lot of time behind the Great Door, right?"

"Kira, don't mock her," the old woman said disapprovingly. "You don't know half her secrets."

The young woman shrugged and wearily eyed the others from under her heavy lids. "It's not so much of a secret to me. I could do it as well: run around when there's a war going on, look for everyone who looks depressed and tell them, '_Oh, I knew you were coming, the ancestors told me so_'. The chances of actually meeting someone who lost their _loved ones_ are pretty high, aren't they?"

"Kira," the other woman said warningly.

"So what? Everyone knows Melaahe is just a greedy businesswoman who exploits her position of power and the bad times to get money to survive the war."

"Then why are you still coming here if she's such a fraud?" Obi-Wan asked Kira. He had to admit that her arguments bore a certain logic and he silently agreed with her. He was really interested to hear why she had come here nonetheless.

Kira snorted. "Yeah, I know. She _is_ a fraud and is only out for our money. But it's still worth it, isn't it? It's pathetic that we still play by her rules but we don't have much of a choice, do we? Anyway, that's why I've decided to end it."

"You shouldn't do that," the old woman next to Obi-Wan said sternly.

Kira did not even move a muscle. "It's my decision," she said simply, then she stood up and went towards the Great Door.

The old woman sighed deeply. "Poor girl," she muttered.

There was a moment of gloomy silence in which everyone only stared at their hands. It was, however, interrupted by another woman bringing them a tray of goblets filled with a perfectly clear liquid.

"Anyone still needs some?" she asked.

Some people took a goblet, others declined, explaining they had already had one.

"Here, drink this." The old woman next to Obi-Wan handed him one of the goblets.

Obi-Wan eyed it warily and sniffed suspiciously. He could not smell anything. "What is it?"

"The Draught of Life. You're going to need it if you want to go on."

"Go on? Whereto?"

"Through the Great Door."

Obi-Wan stared at the goblet in his hand with great mistrust. What if this was a trap and they tried to _drug_ him? Or - and that was more probable - just make short shrift of it and poison him? Well, then he definitely would not be able to find anything out.

"What if I don't drink it?"

"Then you can't go on." The woman now gulped down a goblet of the draught herself.

Obi-Wan took a look around. Many people around him were drinking their draughts too. Several had already emptied their goblets. _Oh well, it's all or nothing, I guess. I don't have much to lose, so I'd say it's worth a try._ Nervously, Obi-Wan sipped the clear liquid. It tasted horrible. Sour, stale, luke-warm and extremely bitter. He grimaced and took another swig.

"Mine tasted better tonight than last year," the woman commented.

"Last year it tasted even _worse_?" Obi-Wan said dryly. It was really hard to imagine.

"_My_ Draught of Life tasted worse last year."

"Ah. So, it tastes different to each person?"

"Exactly. Yours is not very tasty, is it?" She gave him a sympathetic glance.

"Not really." _Just my luck then. Trust even my drinks to turn against me. As if my life is not already bad enough right now..._ Leaving all caution behind, Obi-Wan drank the rest of the drink in one gulp. He shuddered and put the goblet down. "What next?"

"Melaahe is now going to enlighten the Fire of the Past." The woman indicated the pyre in the centre of the place. "It's the wood from a Coluan Tree. They can get tens of thousands of years old."

Obi-Wan watched as Melaahe and some of her assistants lighted the pyre. When the first flames rose into the dark sky, he heard a soft, strange music. It was only very quiet and faint in the distance but it touched his very heartstrings. Suddenly, everyone was very quiet. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and allowed himself to drown in the music for a moment. In an odd way, it was both the saddest and the most comforting tune he had ever heard. It made him feel quite light-headed. Or maybe that were the after-effects from his Draught of Life. Or the dancing flames and the play of shadow and light on the apprehensive faces of the crowd. Or the smoke from the pyre, which was so thick and sweet... All of this made him feel more and more dizzy.

"Come on now," the woman next to him said in a hushed voice, seized his arm and gently led him away with her towards the Great Door. A line of people had already formed there. The young woman, Kira, stood at the very front of it. Melaahe stood next to the arch. She held a big goblet from which every person took a little sip before they went, one by one, through the small entrance.

Finally, it was Obi-Wan's turn. Melaahe offered him the goblet with the solemn words, "The Draught of Death, taken from the Sea of the Souls, will allow you to see the ancestors once again. It shall give you strength, ease and harmony on your way down."

She held the goblet to Obi-Wan's lips and he took a little swig. It looked just as clear as the other drink but this one did not taste horrible. To be precise, it did not taste of anything at all. It just tasted of... _nothing_. Compared to this, stale water tasted spicy. Next, Melaahe dipped her index finger into a bowl with a thick, orange substance. She traced a line with it from Obi-Wan's forehead down to his nose.

"This will be the sign for the Ferry Man. He will understand that he must not take you on. And now listen closely." She gave him a meaningful glance. "Whatever happens, always go straight ahead. Don't turn to the left or to the right. _Never _leave the way."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

Melaahe smiled at him. "You will understand when you're there. They will guide you. I wish you ease and harmony."

Obi-Wan replied the greeting. Then he stepped forward through the black door where just moments before the last person had disappeared.

As soon as he had crossed the threshold, every sound from outside was turned out. The silence that met him was so thick and impenetrable that it seemed to heavily weigh down on his chest. When he looked back, he was slightly shocked to see that there was no door behind him anymore. Just a long staircase which ended somewhere above in the walls of the cave. Yes, he was in an enormous cave with a huge, black ceiling. Yet he could see although he did not know where the light came from. He found himself at the end of the staircase on a bank of a great lake. He looked around. No one was there but him. How could it be? Dozens of people had stepped through the door moments before him. There was no way they could have gone anywhere else so quickly.

Or maybe this was like the Draught of Life which tasted different to each person? Had the other people arrived in other places? Clueless as to what to do next, Obi-Wan let his gaze drift over the water. He could not see the shore on the other side. Something told him that he had to get to the other side. Because going up the stairs again would mean turning back.

_Wait a moment, I've never climbed down this staircase...so how can it be like __'turning back'? ... This seems a really strange place. A place where all rules of time and place seem to be suspended._ This point was proved when Obi-Wan let his gaze wander back and suddenly stared in the grey eyes of a man right in front of him. He could barely suppress his yelp of surprise and the reflex of jumping back. The man stood in a little boat, held a paddle and seemed oblivious of Obi-Wan's presence. His whole appearance was pale and almost...transparent.

"Hello," Obi-Wan said uneasily.

The stranger did not react but his milky-grey eyes looked through him as if he could not see him at all.

_Maybe he can't_, Obi-Wan thought and cleared his throat again. Still no reaction. He remembered Melaahe's words: _You will understand when you're there. They will guide you_. Was this man supposed to guide him?

"I need answers," Obi-Wan said. "I'm looking for friends of mine. Can you help me? Can you take me to a place where I can find answers?"

The man still did not acknowledge Obi-Wan's presence. Carefully, Obi-Wan took a step forward. Maybe the man would react if Obi-Wan climbed into his boat? Maybe then the spell (Was the man _cursed_?) would break? But even when Obi-Wan carefully climbed into the little boat and it rocked so much that it almost capsized, the man did not move a muscle or show any sign that he was aware of Obi-Wan's presence.

But suddenly, as soon as Obi-Wan was seated in the boat, he took the paddle and steered the boat away from the bank. There should have been a sound when the paddle combed through the water but the silence hung thick as a blanket over the water. Its surface was perfectly blank - not the slightest ripple - and grey like a mirror but it did not reflect anything. Blind, just like the eyes of the Ferry Man. Obi-Wan looked back and he could not see the bank anymore. He was not really surprised by it anymore. And when he turned back again, they had already arrived at the other end of the lake.

Obi-Wan mumbled a "I wish you ease and harmony" (which was only returned by the same blank stare of the milky eyes once again) and quickly left the boat. There was a road right in front of him which led into a tunnel. It had to be the right way.

Heart thudding loudly in his chest, Obi-Wan entered the tunnel. It was dark but there was light shining into it from the many branches on its left and right. Light - that meant there had to be someone. Or at least something living. _Oh please, let there be someone. _The silence was hardly bearable now. He felt a prickling in his neck as if someone was watching him. Slowly, he turned around. No one was there. Just the silence and the darkness. He watched a little longer, staring into the darkness in the hope that his eyes might adapt to it. But there was nothing, simply nothing. No sound, no movement.

Turning around in determination and vowing not to look back again, Obi-Wan quickly wandered towards the first source of light. He remembered Melaahe's words very well: _Whatever happens, always go straight ahead. Don't turn to the left or to the right. __**Never**__ leave the way. _He did not intend to leave the way, he just wanted to take a look. Curiously, Obi-Wan peered around a corner. The sight that greeted him made him always jump back in surprise.

He saw himself and Anakin on Senali, fighting a training match in the sand. Everything was colourful - such a contrast to the dark and grey colours which dominated this place. Obi-Wan could almost feel the heat of the Senalian sun, could almost taste the salty air, could almost feel the sweat on his body. The two persons were concentrating very hard but at the same time, they were perfectly relaxed. Obi-Wan had seldom seen two people who fought so well coordinated. It looked more like a dance than a duel. Their moves were graceful and they did not really fight _against_ each other but _with_ each other. But the fact that there were still no sounds made everything look oddly surreal. No humming lightsabers, no panting of the fighters, no rushing of the sea...

Tearing himself from the sight, Obi-Wan moved on to the next junction. He saw himself again, though this time it was a younger version of himself. He was doing a handstand and concentrating on using the Force to make objects all around him fly. He now recognised the place. It was on the outskirts of a wood on a planet called Ribo. That was during the first months of the Clone Wars. Master Dooku was watching his apprentice (who had not noticed his Master's presence yet) doing his exercises. A small smile tugged at the corners of the strict Master's lips when Obi-Wan used the Force to levitate a squirrel out of harm's way of a narglatch which had been about to attack the smaller animal.

The Obi-Wan who was observing the scene frowned. Why had Dooku smiled at him? Had he thought it was ridiculous of Obi-Wan to save the squirrel? No, he decided, it had not looked like a mocking smile. Then Dooku himself slightly manipulated the Force to send a survival pack (one of the many things which floated around Obi-Wan) flying hard into his Padawan's shin. Obi-Wan reacted quickly: he was on his feet in no time at all and had his lightsaber in his hand, ready to ignite it. Dooku nodded thoughtfully and said something. But, of course, the older Obi-Wan still could not hear anything. So he just watched as Dooku told his younger self, who nodded and said a few things from time to time, some lectures - probably about a Jedi always having to be mindful of his surroundings.

Pressing his lips together, which were slightly trembling upon seeing his Master again after all this time, Obi-Wan quickly moved on to the next room. Another scene of his past greeted him: It was on Naboo in the swamps where he and Anakin were frolicking in the water. Oh yes, he could still remember that day so well. The panic, the shame, the uncertainty... and then: trust, a growing feeling of courage, and finally peace. Longingly, he watched his younger self playfully dive a younger version of Anakin under the water. They both looked so young, so carefree... It had all been before the Clone Wars, which had changed them so much. Before Qui-Gon's death... In his mind, Obi-Wan could hear their cheerful laughter, playful screams, coughs when they got too much water in their mouths, the splashing sounds of the water...

He remained longer here than in front of the other scenes. He felt tears burning in his eyes and quickly closed them to fight the tears back. _Go on_, he reminded himself harshly. _I must go on_.

Without looking back again, he continued until he arrived at the next diversion. This time, he saw the Room of a Thousand Fountains in the Jedi Temple. A presumably ten-year-old Obi-Wan was sitting on his favourite place, a stone covered with moss, and watched his best friend Bant Eerin swimming gracefully in a pond. His hair was wet - obviously he had been in the water before too. But of course he lacked the stamina of the Mon Calamarian, who could stay in the water for hours. From time to time, Bant looked up at him and the two friends exchanged silent smiles.

The next room was a training room in the Jedi Temple. Master Yoda was instructing a group of younglings of maybe three or four years. The window shades were closed and the soft glowing light came from a hologram, which Master Yoda had activated. It showed the stars of the Inner Core. Obi-Wan saw himself standing next to a very small Bant Eerin. Both of them were listening attentively to Master Yoda's words. But not everyone was as disciplined as they were.

Obi-Wan had to smile when he recognised Anakin among the younglings. It looked like he was not listening to Master Yoda at all. His eyes wide like saucers, he stared into the projected stars with a look of sheer awe. Then Obi-Wan recognised Bruck Chun and Garen Muln. Both of them were trying again and again to grab the holo-stars in their tiny fists. Obi-Wan's gaze rested on Master Yoda once again. The tiny Jedi Master was watching the younglings with a look of warmth and a cheerful twinkle in his eyes.

_Did you know then that you were training the generation who would fight in the Clone Wars?_ Obi-Wan wondered sadly. _Did you know what would meet this group of innocent children? Did you know how much they would lose? Their Masters, their friends, their beliefs..._

There were only two rooms left now. The first one showed a place Obi-Wan had never seen before and yet he knew immediately what it was. He saw a magnificent room with a huge bed. A young woman leant in the cushions. Her face was pale and she looked slightly sick but she looked down lovingly at the baby she was cradling in her arms. The baby was still very small and did not have any hair. It looked up with big blue eyes at the woman.

_So that's what it's like to have a mother_, Obi-Wan mused wistfully.Next to the bed, a very young girl sat on the edge of a chair. Her short legs were dangling and she peered curiously at the baby. Obi-Wan's heart skipped a beat. _My older sister_, he thought excitedly, watching the girl who was so familiar and yet so strange to him more closely. She was skinny, had reddish hair and many freckles. The formal dress she was wearing looked slightly misplaced on her. She looked more like an exuberant and nosy child than like a princess.

Then a man entered the room. Obi-Wan gulped. _My father..._ The man looked exactly like a king was supposed to look: He was tall and muscular, had broad shoulders, thick blond hair and a slightly messy beard. With quick strides, he moved towards the bed. The woman said something to him and then he was laughing happily and the two adults were talking animatedly to each other and occasionally to the baby. The girl scrunched her little nose and ran out of the room. A few moments later, it seemed that the couple had a little argument. The man extended his arms towards the baby, he probably wanted to hold it, but the woman seemed to be against it. They did not argue for a long time, though. Soon, the man bent forwards, kissed his wife on the forehead, patted his son's bald head and then left the room.

It was by far the strangest thing Obi-Wan had ever seen. Seeing the home and the family he never knew... _I wonder what - _Obi-Wan rather forcefully tore himself from the scene. _No what ifs_, he said resolutely and moved on to the last room. He wondered what would be in that room. From what he had gathered so far, the rooms showed stations of his life - in reverse order. As the previous room had shown his birth, he had no idea what could be in the last room.

He was really puzzled (and maybe even a bit disappointed) when there was nothing in the room but stars. It simply showed the galaxy. Or maybe only a part of the galaxy? He could not be sure as there seemed to be no limitations of the "room". It was like a window into the universe. Not sure what to make of this, Obi-Wan turned back and walked on through the tunnel. It was not far until he reached its end. There was a full-length mirror. Obi-Wan stepped closer until he could see his reflection in the glass. He looked worn: his eyes were small and there were dark circles under them. He still had the mark which Melaahe had painted on his forehead and nose. Again, he had the unsettling feeling that eyes were following him. He shuddered slightly. Maybe the souls of the dead?

_Don't panic now_, he firmly told himself. _There is no death, there is the Force_.

Not knowing what to do, Obi-Wan cautiously tipped one finger against the glass. Nothing happened. He looked at his reflection again. His hair had slightly grown as he had not cut it for quite some time and his Padawan braid was considerably dishevelled. _Oh well, what else am I supposed to do?_ Obi-Wan thought and started braiding his hair anew. It was probably not what he was expected to do here, he certainly had not come here to plait his braid. It was simply the only thing he could do, something to keep his hands occupied. He hated being without a purpose. When he had almost finished his braid, he thought he saw a movement behind him in the mirror. He froze in his movements. Not daring to turn around, he kept staring into the mirror. Now he saw someone - or something. It was a black shadow. Yes, it looked much like a person. But the outlines were blurred and the shape was simply black. It was growing bigger and bigger until it reached almost Obi-Wan's size. And then Obi-Wan recognised him: Dooku.

Looking majestic, intimidating and very Master-like, he just stood there behind Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan should have rejoiced upon seeing his Master again. But he did not. He was _afraid_. His Master had his arms crossed over his chest and examined him with a very critical expression. Obi-Wan was in fear because Dooku might scold him for not obeying the Council, for being here, for not plaiting his Padawan braid properly… And the shape in the mirror still grew and grew until it was taller than Obi-Wan. Master Dooku was now twice his normal size. His dark cloak seemed to fill the whole tunnel behind Obi-Wan.

When the shadow moved even closer as if to swallow Obi-Wan, he could not take it any longer. He tore his gaze from the stupefying sight in the mirror, spun around - and found himself face to face with Qui-Gon Jinn.


	26. Looking for Friends

**Author's Note:** Yay! We (or rather: you) have crossed the 200 reviews mark! Thank you everyone! You can read personal review replies on my profile page. Many thanks to my beta reader Sentrosi!

Warning: This chapter contains a torture scene, a rotting corpse and it also deals with suicide... in a metaphorical (?) way.

* * *

_And the shape in the mirror still grew and grew until it was taller than Obi-Wan. Master Dooku was now twice his normal size. His dark cloak seemed to fill the whole tunnel behind Obi-Wan. __When the shadow moved even closer as if to swallow Obi-Wan, he could not take it any longer. He tore his gaze from the stupefying sight in the mirror, spun around - and found himself face to face with Qui-Gon Jinn._

**Chapter 26**

**Looking for Friends**

Suddenly, there were sounds again. He could hear his slightly quickened breathing, Qui-Gon's steady breathing, and the rustling of his own cloak's fabric and the little tapping noise when he took one hesitant step forward.

"Master Jinn?" he whispered. Somehow, this here was a place to whisper.

Qui-Gon smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. A very real human hand. Obi-Wan relaxed considerably under the touch. Qui-Gon's calmness seemed to spread to him. "Obi-Wan. I didn't expect you to come here." His eyes wandered to the mark on Obi-Wan's forehead. "Well, you're not really here yet," Qui-Gon said mostly to himself. "More like a visitor."

Obi-Wan nodded although, naturally, he did not understand most of the things Qui-Gon said. But he did not really care what kind of place this was or why he was a visitor. He had come here for a reason and before he could really think what he was doing, the words left his lips. "Anakin and Dooku have both disappeared. No one has heard of them and everyone thinks they're dead. But I don't think so. I haven't felt their deaths. It was not like your death." Obi-Wan was not even aware of the absurdity of speaking to someone he had seen dying about his death. He just knew that he needed to explain all of this to Qui-Gon. "I'm sure they're still alive. And then I met a woman who sent me here. She thinks Anakin or Dooku could be here, or at least I could get answers here. I don't know what to do. Please help me. You have to believe me, I _know_ they're still alive."

Qui-Gon nodded. "You're right. They are not here."

Obi-Wan's heart sank. "Not here?" he asked feebly.

"If they are not here, it means they are still alive."

"Alright," Obi-Wan said in relief. But then he registered something else. "You mean, here are the people who are dead? So, does it mean... Am I...?"

"You are more like a visitor," Qui-Gon repeated what he had already said earlier.

"Oh. I understand." He did not understand everything yet (and he doubted he ever would understand this place) but that was not why he was here, after all. "So... Do you know anything? Can you help me? I just don't know..."

"There is not much I can do to help you but I can at least show you something. A few days ago, Anakin contacted me. I can show you what I saw. It's not...pleasant but I guess it is at least something." Qui-Gon seized Obi-Wan's shoulders and gently turned him around so he faced the mirror again. But instead of seeing their reflections, it showed another scene now. It was almost like a screen on which a movie was shown. A horror movie. Obi-Wan watched the scene with a growing feeling of dread.

_Anakin_. He was crouching on the floor, hands tied behind his back. A tall woman with a bald and tattooed scalp was towering over him. She uncaringly kicked him in the face with one of her spiked boots. Anakin winced but did not utter a word.

"So, Skywalker, have you thought about it? Where are they now? Where are they when _you_ need help? They only care for you as long as you have something to give. But after I'm through with you, you will not be able to _give_ them anything anymore. Tell me, do you think they would care for a deranged cripple?" She knelt down to him and spoke sweetly in his ear. "Where is your Mum? Did they care for her? Did they care for you when you wanted to save her? Did they care for what you felt when she died?"

"Stop it." Anakin's voice almost sounded like a hurt little child's plea.

The woman gave a satisfied smirk. "Just like a Jedi, aren't you? Afraid to hear the truth. The truth can hurt, oh yes, it can." She ran one of her long nails slowly down his neck. Little droplets of dark blood formed on the sensitive skin. "Don't continue this pathetic life. You can be more than their _slave_."

"Stop it," Anakin pleaded hoarsely.

"It's your decision. Either the lies or the painful truth. You could be so much stronger if you decided to end it. Stop feeling this hopeless trust in the Jedi. Stop mourning all your losses. You must discover the truth. They don't deserve your loyalty. You know this, don't you?"

"Stop it please," Anakin croaked through gritted teeth. Sweat was building on his forehead and he tried to turn his head away from her but she only moved closer. "Please, Ventress, just stop it."

"You are the only one who can stop it. It's only your decision. You can stop it. You must leave these feelings behind. Leave it all behind. The lies, the hurt, the pain..."

Anakin tightly shut his eyes. Ventress' jaw set, and she stood up. "It looks like you need one more lesson." She raised her hands and blue Force lightning rained down on Anakin. The air cracked with the raw energy. He groaned in pain when the blue lightning surrounded him and attacked every part of his body. Soon, his groans turned into screams of agony. He writhed on the floor, trying to escape the blue flames but he did not have a chance with his hands bound.

Finally, the lightning from Ventress' hands ceased. But instead of stopping screaming, Anakin's screams turned louder and sounded more painful. His face was contorted and his whole body twitched convulsively. There was nothing visible which caused his pain. Ventress' face contorted in spiteful glee and she slightly crooked her right index finger, causing another horrible shriek from Anakin. At long last, his body stopped twitching like madly and he weakly rolled on his side, panting heavily. His eyes had rolled in their sockets and his mouth hung wide open.

Cackling madly, Ventress stepped towards him and kicked him in the back of his head. "We can go on like this for a very long time, you know?" she suggested in a silky voice. "Don't assume that was the worst I'm capable of." She removed her lightsaber from her belt, ignited the red blade and drew a cross on his back. Anakin's breath hitched in his throat, he coughed and spat blood.

Turning on her heels, Ventress marched out of the room, each purposeful stride accompanied by the clicking of her black boots touching the floor.

Blood still trickled out of the corner of Anakin's mouth. His whole body shuddered violently as if he was horribly cold. He moved his mouth but no sound came out - just more blood. He tried again and this time a faint sound left his lips: "Qui-Gon..." Then he vomited, he spat bile and blood and finally his head rested unconscious in his own vomit.

The scene went black and the mirror simply showed the reflections of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan again. Qui-Gon's fingers were digging hard into Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan was just as tense himself, his hands were balled into fists and his nails dug into the flesh of his palms. For a moment, neither man spoke a word. Obi-Wan was breathing heavily as if he, too, had been tortured. Never before in his life had he felt such fury and hate. He wanted to run forwards, ram his fist into the mirror, shatter its glass and run through until he arrived where that evil woman was. He would make her pay, he would make her pay for every little scratch she had inflicted upon Anakin - he would make her pain ten times worse. He tasted blood in his mouth where he had bitten in his flesh to stop himself from roaring in rage and despair. He opened his mouth to voice his maledictions and threatening but before he could utter a word, there was a new image on the mirror again.

It showed the same room as in the last scene. Anakin sat on the floor, looking even paler and sicker than before. A trickle of scarlet red blood ran down the side of his face from a deep gash. The blood slowly slid down until it reached the corner of his lips. There was something in the way the blood coloured his lips a deep red, such a contrast to the white face... Then Ventress turned to Obi-Wan.

"_Kiss him_."

Obi-Wan took a sharp intake of breath and staggered backwards. If Qui-Gon had not caught him in his arms, he would have probably collapsed on the floor.

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon said worriedly. "What happened? You look like you're going to faint. Your eyes were shifty for a moment as if you were not here anymore."

"She spoke to me," Obi-Wan said weakly.

Qui-Gon scrutinised him thoroughly. "Ventress?"

"Why did she speak to me? How did she know I was watching?"

"What did you see?" Qui-Gon asked, sounding more and more concerned.

Obi-Wan met Qui-Gon's eyes. He did not find any accusation there. "You did not see it then," he stated.

"No, I did not see anything. Why, what did you see? What did she say to you?" Qui-Gon asked more urgently.

Obi-Wan avoided looking him in the eyes. "Maybe it was a vision. I... I don't understand it. Why would she... Why would I...?"

"Obi-Wan, please tell me," Qui-Gon insisted. "It doesn't help anyone if you panic now. I know you care very much for Anakin but -"

"I _love_ him!" Obi-Wan burst out.

"Yes, I know," Qui-Gon said gently and placed a comforting hand on Obi-Wan's arm. "I love him too and I hate what is happening to him. When I saw it for the first time, I wanted to rage and scream too. Well, I did scream."

"You don't understand," Obi-Wan said feebly. "You don't know in which way I love him..."

"I do, Obi-Wan. He is like a son to me and I love him more than I should do."

"Would you kiss him if someone told you to do it?" Obi-Wan asked directly, staring hard at the Jedi Master.

"No, of course not." Suddenly, understanding dawned on Qui-Gon's face and he gave Obi-Wan an alarmed look. "Would _you_?" he asked, almost in shock.

Obi-Wan stared down at his feet. "I don't know," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

It seemed to take Qui-Gon quite some time to digest that bit of information. "Well..." There was another long pause. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "Alright. I've always known that Anakin cared deeply for you but I had no idea about the, ah, nature of your relationship."

"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said miserably. "I know a Jedi should not... I just couldn't stop it. I love him and the feeling simply doesn't go away. I couldn't stop it, even if I had wanted to stop it." Finally, he lifted his gaze and looked Qui-Gon in the eye. "I'm sorry for what I have done to your Padawan."

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes. "Really, what did you do? Use a mind trick on Anakin and seduce him?"

"Of course not."

"I didn't think so either. Well, as far as I know it needs always two persons to fall in love with each other," Qui-Gon said lightly.

Obi-Wan bit his lip and sadly shook his head. "It's not like that. I... I love him but..." He choked out the next words. "He doesn't love me back."

There was another prolonged pause in which Obi-Wan stared down at his feet. _He called Qui-Gon for help when he was weak and helpless. He did not call for me._

"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon finally said at the same time. Surprised, Obi-Wan looked up to see Qui-Gon look at him with sympathy. Qui-Gon smiled sadly. "I'm sure it is not easy for you. I was in love with someone too. Not friendship-love but..._love_, you know?"

"You - you were in love with someone too?" Obi-Wan asked in a slightly trembling voice. "Did that person... love you back?"

"Yes, she did. Just when we had finally realised the nature of our feelings for each other, she died."

Obi-Wan looked up at the tall Jedi Master. He still saw the traces of the old pain of his lost love in his face. Suddenly, the Jedi Master seemed so much more...human. Fallible, just like Obi-Wan too. "I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said sincerely. Qui-Gon appreciated it with a little nod. "So... it's okay to love as a Jedi?"

Qui-Gon heaved a deep sigh. "I'm not sure. The woman I loved was murdered. I wanted to take revenge. It almost drove me to the dark side."

Obi-Wan gulped. He understood what Qui-Gon meant to tell him. "I'm sorry," he apologised again. "I wish I could stop my feelings...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise for your feelings," Qui-Gon said gently. "It is okay to love. But you must promise me one thing: Promise me it will be a selfless love."

The two men locked eyes. There was a look of understanding between them. They both cared deeply for Anakin. And they both loved more than the Jedi Council allowed. "I promise," Obi-Wan said earnestly.

Qui-Gon nodded solemnly. "Alright then. Do you know what you must do now? This woman, Ventress, holds Anakin prisoner. From what I have gathered from that scene, I'm pretty sure they are on Vjun in a sort of castle. I have watched it several times now and analysed every bit of it... I think I should rather spare you from that experience. There is not more I can tell you or anything else I can help you with. The rest is up to you now."

"I will find him," Obi-Wan said fiercely, full of determination now. "I promise you that."

"I know," Qui-Gon said simply. "Well, I think you ought to go back now."

They walked back the tunnel in silence. When they reached the first room on their way, the room which was a window to the universe, Obi-Wan paused.

"Do you see this?" he indicated the many stars.

"Yes."

"Is there...any meaning behind it? The other rooms, I recognise the scenes in it. But this one..."

"This is the day the Force decided to bring you to life," Qui-Gon said softly.

"Oh." Thoughtfully, Obi-Wan gazed at the twinkling stars. "So there was a specific moment when the Force decided I should live... Strange, isn't it? That the Force influences such...small things..."

"Isn't everything just small things?" Qui-Gon said cryptically.

Obi-Wan let his gaze wander through the dark universe with all the little, shining stars. "Yes, I guess you're right," he said thoughtfully. "I just thought it was a mere coincidence if you had midi-chlorians or not. I always thought the Force would just influence... like when Anakin was born, as the Chosen One, I mean."

"Were you never taught that there are no coincidences? If Anakin walked down his tunnel too, the two of you would meet in front of this room."

"You mean...?"

"The decision that you should live happened at the same moment when the Force decided to create the Chosen One," Qui-Gon confirmed his suspicion.

"Does it mean anything?" Obi-Wan asked thoughtfully.

"I'm sure it means something."

"But I'm sure you don't know _what_ it means."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "The Force an endless mystery is," they cited together one of Master Yoda's favourite wisdoms.

"So it could also mean that the Force just thought it was a big joke to create us at the same time so we could always celebrate our birthdays together."

"Maybe. Who knows... It could mean very much or just very little. But I think we shouldn't waste our time so much on such philosophical issues - things which we cannot understand yet and probably never will. You must do what can be done _now_. Listen to the Force and it will guide you on the way which is meant for you."

They walked on, passing the room of Obi-Wan and his family, the one of Yoda and the younglings, the one of Bant swimming in a pond and Obi-Wan watching her. Then they arrived at the room with the lake on Naboo. Obi-Wan paused again and looked at himself and Anakin. So happy... so free... so peaceful... He felt a strong call towards that room, as if the Force pulled him forwards.

_Come in_, it whispered, _come in here. Here is your peace. This is where you are meant to stay. Only here you can find your inner peace._

Without realising what he was doing, Obi-Wan walked towards the door. He did it with the confidence of a sleepwalker. Anakin looked invitingly at him with an expression of mirth on his face. Obi-Wan could feel himself and his younger version gradually becoming one. Yes, he understood now. This was what he was meant to be. He belonged here.

"Don't." Qui-Gon's harsh voice cut through his peace.

Slightly annoyed by the interruption, Obi-Wan turned back to look at Qui-Gon, who was standing in the tunnel, in that cold and grey and dark and lifeless tunnel. "I want to stay here," Obi-Wan said with conviction and turned back towards the two cheerful Padawans. One more step forwards, he could already hear their laughter now. It was still dimmed as if he could only hear it through a wall but he was getting nearer and nearer. One more step...

"Don't do it," he heard Qui-Gon shouting in the distance. "You must not go in there. You can never go back if you decide to stay."

_But I don't want to go back_, Obi-Wan thought. _There is no better place in the world for me than here. I know it, this is where I belong. _

"Don't do it," Qui-Gon said again. "_Please_."

Whereas the other words had not been strong enough, this simple yet desperate plea reached Obi-Wan's ears and penetrated his blissful state. The voices of the two Padawans were dimmed again. "But I want to stay," Obi-Wan said in a voice which sounded almost like a whining child.

"I _know_, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. "This is why people should never come here. It's not your time yet, you must leave this place."

"But what is the problem if I stay here? Will something happen? Is this," Obi-Wan indicated the scene in the room, "just an illusion which will turn into a hell if I step into the room?"

"No, it will not. You will be happy here," Qui-Gon said gravely.

"Then why...?"

"Have you already forgotten what you have seen in the mirror?" Qui-Gon said softly and looked at him meaningfully. "Have you already forgotten your _promise_?"

And then it came all rushing back: Anakin, pale, crouching on the floor in a pool of his own blood, pleading weakly for Ventress to stop his ordeal. The realisation of it made Obi-Wan almost fall to his knees. He and Qui-Gon were the only ones who knew Anakin was still alive. Qui-Gon could not get out of here anymore. If Obi-Wan decided to stay here, no one would save Anakin. Ventress would continue torturing him in even worse ways... _Don't assume that was the worst I'm capable of_... and presumably she would eventually break him. Obi-Wan felt sick of what he had almost done to Anakin. _I presume that I love him but I would have selfishly stayed here where I would be happy. I would have abandoned him for my own happiness. _

"What if I don't succeed?" Obi-Wan said weakly. "What if I'm not strong enough for this?"

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently and comfortingly placed his hands on his shoulders. "You are strong enough for this. You're probably the strongest one of us all. Dooku told me of your fierce determination when it came to lightsaber practice. Actually, he said I could have become a decent swordsman too if I had trained as hard as you. It can be a weakness if it turns into an obsession but it can also be your greatest strength. I've never seen you give up. I know things do not come as easy to you as to exceptionally gifted Jedi like Anakin or Dooku. But every time you fell, you just stood up again and went on. And this is something Anakin has never had the chance to learn. That's what I'm worried about. I don't know if he will be strong enough to get up again if he falls. You need to teach him that."

"Yeah, but first of all I need to get him out of the hands of that mad woman."

Qui-Gon grinned. "Of course. You can do it, just never give up. And never forget your promise." He thoughtfully looked at Obi-Wan and squeezed his shoulders affectionately. "Most people who come here as visitors decide to stay. It needs remarkable strength to go back."

Obi-Wan shrugged. He did not feel at all like he had shown remarkable strength. "That's probably because many people who come here have already lost everything and do not have a purpose anymore to come back. But I have a purpose. I _have_ to go back. I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Qui-Gon smiled knowingly at him. "That's the spirit. And now you really must go. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you too. And thank you very much for your help. Erm... where do I have to go? Back to the boat?"

"What does your heart tell you?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. In his mind, he saw Anakin again lying badly injured on the floor. Then Anakin slowly lifted his head up a few centimetres from the ground. For a tiny moment, their eyes locked.

_Hold on. I'm coming. I'm coming to get you out of there._

ooooooo

"Master Windu? You should probably come to the healers' wing. There's something you need to see," a healer apprentice addressed Mace on his way to the archives, where he had wanted to reread about the battle of Antar 4 for the presumably twentieth time.

"What is it?" Mace asked the young man.

"It's...uh, about Master Dooku's corpse," the apprentice said evasively. It was obvious he felt uncomfortable talking about it.

"Yes, I'm coming," Mace said with a sense of foreboding. He quickly strode towards the healers' wing. The young man trailed behind him, trying to catch up with his hurried pace.

In front of the door, Master Unduli already awaited him. She eyed him with a grave expression. "Greetings, Master Windu. We thought we should inform you of this, as it was you who led the investigation and discovered his corpse. Well, come inside. But I'm warning you: It's not a very pleasant sight."

Master Unduli was very right about that. The first thing Mace did upon seeing his old friend's corpse was closing his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to regain his balance. When he opened his eyes again, the sight had not become any more bearable but at least he was prepared for what met his eyes.

The Jedi Master's body had already begun to rot badly. Greyish-red stains covered his arms. The facial features were not clearly recognisable anymore and were oddly swollen. Master Unduli pushed up one leg of his trousers to reveal a leg that looked equally revolting as the arm.

"His whole body looks like that," she said softly.

Mace gulped, trying to hide the emotions which the sight evoked in him.

"The clothes are still fully intact," Master Unduli continued, "but his body is already being decaying. It decays much too quickly. Something's not right here."

"He..." It took Mace some time to collect his thoughts and it took him some more time to recover his voice. "We don't know how long he's been dead. Maybe...he already died weeks ago."

"No. No... Yesterday, his corpse was still in a relatively good condition. But today... He looks as if weeks had passed and not just one night. No human body should decompose so quickly. It's not natural."

"Did you do anything with him?" Mace asked accusingly. "Did you use some salve or... or are there some scavengers here in the healers' wing?"

"No, we already checked for scavengers," Master Unduli replied calmly. "There's nothing unusual about the decay. The corpse shows the usual signs of a one- or two-months-old human corpse. Everything's normal - except for the fact that it started much too early. Gogon," she addressed the apprentice, who had silently listened to their conversation, "get a clone soldier here."

"Which clone soldier, Master?" Gogon asked.

"Any clone soldier," Master Unduli replied curtly. "I just need to speak to a clone."

"Okay." The young man obediently left to go looking for a clone.

Master Unduli turned to look gravely at Mace. "I'm not an expert on corpse decay but maybe a clone can help us now."

"How could a clone help us?" Mace asked doubtfully.

"The clone soldiers' corpses decay more quickly than normal human corpses," she said stiffly.

"Do they?" Mace muttered, trying to absorb the implications of that statement.

They remained silent until the apprentice returned with a clone soldier. The clone saluted to both Mace and Master Unduli. "Greetings, General Windu and General Unduli. How can I be of assistance?"

"I need you to answer a few questions," Master Unduli said severely. "Why do the clones' corpses decay more quickly than any other human corpses?"

"That's because of the growth acceleration, General," the clone stated. "It means we grow twice as quickly as humans, and, consequently, our corpses decompose twice as quickly."

"Hm." Master Unduli nodded thoughtfully. "What about him?" She indicated Dooku's corpse on the bed. "Yesterday, he looked still well but overnight, his body rotted like that. Do you have any idea how it could happen?"

"He can't be a clone, General. We are carefully constructed and none of us would ever decompose so quickly," the clone soldier said almost proudly.

"But the question here is: If, hypothetically, a clone was not, erm, constructed as carefully as you... Let's say, they used so much growth acceleration that he was created in only a few weeks... would that be possible?"

"Just what are you suggesting?" Mace addressed Master Unduli sharply. "You can't possibly maintain that he's a... a _clone_!"

Master Unduli looked at him with a pained expression. "For all we know, that possibility indeed exists."

"But look at him!" Mace gestured helplessly at the disfigured corpse. "He _is_ Dooku. You recognise him, don't you?"

"Mace," Master Unduli said gently. "Of course, I recognise him. But that's what clones are: Exact copies of the cloned person. No one could tell the difference."

Sadly, Mace had to admit that she was right. If Dooku - or his clone - was still alive, he certainly could have felt it in the Force but there was nothing of Dooku left in the Force. And Master Unduli's suspicion made sense. The two lightsabers... one of them still very new and probably constructed in a haste...

"It could be possible to produce a clone in such a short amount of time," the clone soldier said. "But no one would do that. Such a clone would be pretty useless. He would never be able to fight or think well."

"And what if the clone was neither needed to fight nor to think?" Master Unduli said quietly. "What if he was just needed to pose for someone dead?"

Mace could almost see the clone's mind working furiously, trying to make sense of that bit of information. It was obvious they were dealing with a low ranked clone who could not think very independently. "Why would you want him to pose for someone dead?"

"That is another point altogether," Master Unduli sighed. "So, if a clone was produced in such a short amount of time, would his corpse consequently rot much more quickly than normally?"

"Yes, that should be the case," the clone confirmed.

Mace and his Jedi colleague exchanged a meaningful glance. "Alright," she told the clone soldier. "That was all we needed to know. Thank you very much for your help."

"You are welcome, Generals Unduli and Windu."

"And by the way - you are human too," Master Unduli added as an afterthought. "You were just brought to life in a different way than most other people but that does not make you any less human."

The clone gave her a weird look, then he went away.

"Well..." Silence fell between the two Jedi Masters. Both tried to understand what they had just found out.

"There were two lightsabers," Mace finally muttered.

"Hm?"

"Two lightsabers. We found his old one months ago on Antar 4, shortly after he went missing. There was another one with this...corpse." He tried hard to avoid looking at the disfigured body.

"So someone wants us to think he's dead," Master Unduli mused.

"He built the second one too."

"What?" Master Unduli gave him a confused look.

"I know he did it," Mace said, convinced. "I would recognise his lightsaber work anywhere. He built the second lightsaber too - but he did not do it as meticulously as the first one."

"But why...?"

The question remained unanswered.

"I'll go to Kamino. I'll find out what's behind all of this," Mace said grimly.


	27. Darkness Falls

**Warning:** This chapter contains torture and other unpleasant things.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

**Darkness Falls**

_The woman is tied to a rough wooden stake. She looks weak, very weak, and all that keeps her in an upright position are the ropes which tie her to the stake. There are bruises on her wrists where the tight ropes have cut into her flesh. Her clothes are in rags and hang loosely around her slim body._

_Her eyes hold a look of fear and desperation. And very much pain. She mutters something, the words are barely above a whisper when they leave her dried and chapped lips: "Ani..."_

_The exertion is enough to make her cough and choke. She cries and whimpers in pain when her injured and weak body shooks roughly._

_"Ani..." she croaks again, this time louder and more desperately. "Please..." She fights for each rattling breath, every movement costing her a painful stress. Her once handsome but now haggard face contorts in anguish when she cries the next words: "Anakin, please help me, please..."_

_More and more she cries and her screams are becoming louder and louder. Crying and sobbing and pleading for help, for release from her sufferings. But no one comes to save her. Her dark eyes flash deliriously and she repeats the same things again and again: "Help me, Anakin, please help me!"_

_But finally her helpless struggles against the ropes weakens, her body slackens and her voice dies down. She croaks and chokes but no one hears her. Then the life leaves her eyes. But the pain and the despair never leave her eyes. She dies with her son's name on her lips._

_………………_

_The Jedi Council. A secret meeting. An off the record meeting. The atmosphere is relieved._

_Master Windu says, "I'm glad this is finally over. I was worried about his loyalty."_

_"Yes, it's good that she is dead," Ki-Adi-Mundi agrees. "Now he doesn't have this dangerous attachment anymore."_

_"Now he can again give all his talents to the Jedi Order," Master Fisto says._

_"A good idea it was to side with the Tusken Raiders. Very helpful and very subtle they were in removing her."_

_"But we wasted a lot of money to bribe them," Master Windu says darkly._

_"It was worth it. We didn't have another choice," Master Unduli states. "We can't afford losing the Chosen One to his mother."_

_………………._

_A few years later. Another Council meeting. Just as secret and off the record._

_"Unlucky it is that we have lost the Chosen One. Who now will bring balance to the Force?"_

_"It was never really certain that he was the Chosen One," Master Ki-Adi-Mundi says matter-of-factly._

_"I agree," Master Unduli says, unconcerned. "We'll just have to go looking for another strong Force user whom we can call that."_

_"Maybe we can produce a clone of Skywalker if we find his corpse," Master Windu suggests._

_"I'm afraid he has been dead for too long," Master Fisto says, disgust clearly written on his face. "The material wouldn't make a very good clone."_

_"Clone me, we can. Many midi-chlorians I have too."_

_Master Windu nods slowly. "And I can donate some of my genes too."_

_"It's decided then," Ki-Adi-Mundi concludes. "Now we just need to nominate someone who replaces Skywalker to the Council. Any suggestions?"_

_……………….._

_There is the woman again. The Tusken Raiders are dragging her brutally towards a tent. She is roughly shoved against the wooden stake and tied very tightly to it. One of the Tuskens takes his gaderffii weapon and raises it to hit her hard in her stomach, making her scream in pain. He makes a grunting noise which sounds remotely like a laugh. He raises his gaderffii again and the woman tries to avoid the blow but she cannot move -_

"NOOO!!!" Anakin jerked up from the floor. Although he had had these dreams frequently during his imprisonment by Ventress, they were getting worse each night. His heart was hammering loudly and the despair he had felt at first was slowly turning into hot rage. It burned his stomach and made him want to vomit.

He jumped up and started pacing in his small cell. His hands clenched into fists, he tried to think of anything else but the dreams. His pace was getting faster and faster.

"They would never..." he muttered, his voice rasped and angry. "They would never do that..." His teeth were grinding and he tried to keep his breathing, which was speeding up, at least somewhat even. "They are Jedi, they wouldn't..."

He braced his palms against the cold stone wall of his cell. It did not have any windows, there was just one glow orb which shone a sickly shade of neon-yellow-grey. He could not endure it in here any longer. The low ceiling, the confining walls and his dark thoughts which threatened to overwhelm him. He preferred Ventress torturing him. The pain made him at least forget.

A rough tremor shook his body. "_Why_?" he whispered in a raw voice. "Why, why, why?!" He started his restless pacing again, muttering like a mentally deranged, "They wouldn't... They couldn't... They wouldn't... _They wouldn't... _They would never have..."

He slammed a fist into the wall, not bothering that the force of it opened one of his many badly healed bruises up. He watched in an odd sort of fascination his own blood running down the wall.

Red.

Red like blood.

Red like love.

Red like boiling anger.

"_No_!" He rammed his fist into the wall again. "NOOO!!!!" _How could they?! How could they have abandoned him?! How could they have abandoned his mother?!_

There she was again, the pain etched into her features. She looked at him, a desperate plea for help. Forever unanswered. Again he saw the light die in her warm brown eyes. But the pain... the pain was still in her eyes. Forever.

"NO, NO, NOOO!!!" He kept hitting his fists into the wall again and again, not bothering at all that the blood sprayed everywhere. "COME HERE, VENTRESS!" he roared. "COME HERE AND FINISH IT! COME ON, I'M WAITING! YOU WON! COME ON, FINISH WHAT YOU HAVE BEGUN!"

He could not keep the images from his mind, again he was forced to witness one session of the Jedi Council.

_"Good it is that Jinn died," Yoda says in satisfaction._

_"Absolutely," Master Windu agrees. "He was too dangerous. It was too dangerous to let him train and spoil the Chosen One."_

_"Yes," Master Unduli says thoughtfully. "He would have made the Chosen One just another rebellious nuisance."_

Anakin growled, pounding the walls with a force he had not known he possessed. The images kept spinning in his mind. His mother, dying. The Council, plotting. Qui-Gon's body. His mother screaming in pain. She was dying. Again.

He growled again, like an enraged krayt dragon. "Ventress, you coward! Come! Stop it! I don't want it anymore! _STOP IT!_"

But Ventress did not come. No one came. No one came to deliver him from his sufferings.

_You see? No one comes. They don't care._

He felt dizzy. Too many days of torture, malnutrition and life in this small cell took their toll on him.

Exhausted, he sank to the floor, muttering nonsense, talking to Ventress, the Jedi Council, his mother, Obi-Wan, the Chancellor... Then he saw Qui-Gon again. Floating in front of him like a ghost.

"Don't give up," the ghost said.

Anakin erupted into maniacal laughter. Oh yes, he had dreamed of Qui-Gon. And sometimes he even talked to him in his delirious states. This had kept him going on so far. This and the thoughts of Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, who was the only one he could trust. Obi-Wan, whom he loved and would never be able to bear to lose like he lost Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan, who was the only Jedi he respected. If Anakin thought of the perfect Jedi, it was never Master Yoda, Master Windu or Master Ki-Adi-Mundi but Obi-Wan because although he was only a Padawan (and a very ill-tempered, stubborn and impatient Padawan at times), he had such a strong faith and such a stamina... something Anakin thoroughly lacked.

"You must be strong now," the Qui-Gon-ghost told Anakin.

"You're an illusion," he told the ghost, cackling madly. "An _illusion_! Ha ha ha! Maybe a Fata Morgana. Because I haven't gotten anything to drink for a while. Like in the desert. On Tatooine. You see Fata Morganas there, you know? Or she has poisoned me. Ha ha ha!" Laughing hoarsely, Anakin rolled on the floor.

But soon the laughter turned to sobs and he did not have the strength anymore to move. So he just stayed there on the cold floor, lying unmoving in a pathetic heap. The blurred images were racing through his mind again and there was a dull hammering in his head. He heard voices calling him again. Ah yes, he had to fight a war, he had to get up. His troops were waiting for him. Where was his starfighter? And then the cruel realisation stung him: His starfighter had broken in the crash he had had on Senali. A scream of despair escaped his mouth and he was crying, crying, crying for his starfighter and the voices were calling him unmercifully.

"General Skywalker? General Skywalker!"

He crawled towards the wall and leant against it. "Yes," he shouted gesturing wildly to a troop of clones which was behind the wall. "Prepare the ships to set off. We'll be leaving in half an hour. Commander Sulli is leading the attack against the Sabaoth Destroyer. Commander Cody and his troop are coming with me to attack the flagship. May the Force be with us all." And then he laughed again because this was really a big joke. _May the Force be with us all?!_ Ha, the Force was not with him anymore. Ventress had taken it from him. "May the Force be with us all," he repeated. Then he stood up and slammed his fist on his chest right above his heart. "May the Force be with us all!" he exclaimed in a booming and pompous voice. The exertion was too much for his weakened body. He staggered and slammed into the wall. He whimpered in pain when he sank down. The pounding in his head did not stop and the voice was calling him again.

"General Skywalker! General Skywalker! Are you okay?"

Somehow, the voice found a way through his fogged brain. It sounded remotely familiar.

"General Skywalker, this is Commander Cody! Are you alright?"

Oh yes, sure, Commander Cody. He was talking to dead people again. Now everything made perfect sense.

"General Skywalker!" the very alive voice repeated insistently. "Are you a prisoner of Ventress too? Are you alright? General Skywalker, can you hear me? Please say something or knock against the wall!"

Very slowly, Anakin raised his bloodstained hand and knocked against the wall. He heard more voices and then someone on the other side of the wall knocked too.

"General Skywalker, are you okay? Knock once for yes and twice for no!"

Finally, Anakin found his voice. "Commander Cody?" he croaked. "Is that you?"

"General Skywalker? Please repeat, I didn't catch that!"

"Commander Cody," Anakin repeated, forcing his voice louder. "Is that you? You are alive?"

"Yes, it is I," came the response. "And I am alive. Are you alright?"

"Well..." Anakin looked his sorry state up and down and gave his cell an examining glance.

"Excuse me?" he heard Cody's concerned voice again.

"Well, I guess I have been better..."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't think so. Unless you can somehow get us out of here."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. I've already tried everything. We're really sitting in a trap here."

Anakin nodded gloomily. Then he realised that Cody of course could not see it. "Yes," he said loudly. "What about you? Are you alright? Are there other people with you?"

"Yes, I share a cell with three other clones: Tom, Alba and Rad Four. Ventress tortured Tom and Rad Four yesterday and she tried to question us all but we didn't say a word."

Anakin sighed softly. As it looked, the clone troopers had much more stamina than he: a Jedi Master, General and presumable Chosen One. "That was very brave of you. The Republic is lucky to have such loyal fighters as you."

"Thank you very much, sir," Cody said, pleased, and Anakin could vividly imagine the commander's excitement. In spite of the whole horrible situation they found themselves in, Anakin had to smile a little bit. Whatever happened, the clones' excitement of having served the Republic well would never cease. _I should take a leaf out of Cody's book_, he thought ruefully. _He has a faith I don't have anymore._

"I'm very glad to hear that you are alive," Anakin said sincerely. "I thought you were dead when I saw your starfighter explode."

"That's what I thought too. But then I woke up here. I'm afraid it's not much better than death."

"Yes... Death seems terribly welcome now, doesn't it?"

"I'm sure someone will come to free us, sir," Cody said confidently.

Anakin did not reply anything to that statement. He wished he had at least half as much conviction as Cody.

"They will come," Cody insisted. "No one will probably go looking for me but they will certainly go looking for you, won't they?"

"Maybe they think I'm dead too," Anakin said evasively.

"Oh." There was a moment of silence on the other side of the wall. "They wouldn't give up on you so quickly, would they?"

"I don't know..." Actually, Anakin had already given up on help from the Jedi. The only one he expected to not give up on him so quickly was Obi-Wan. He still remembered very well Obi-Wan's insistence that Master Dooku was still alive and he wanted to go looking for him. And sometimes Anakin had felt messages from Obi-Wan through the Force, like a comforting hug. It was what had kept him relatively sane.

"They wouldn't give up on you," Cody said again. "You're too important."

Suddenly, Anakin felt very much ashamed. No one had gone looking for Cody. He probably had endured the same torture Anakin had gone through. But no one had cared to save Cody. "I'm sorry I didn't send search troops to find you," he apologised.

"That's alright, sir," Cody assured him. "I'm not really important. The clones are needed elsewhere, they should not be wasted in a search party for me."

"You _are_ important," Anakin said sincerely. "You are very important to me. You've always been a very skilled and loyal commander and if I didn't have you to talk to now, I would probably go insane."

"Thank you, sir," Cody said delightedly. "I'm glad to be of assistance."

ooooooo

_"What does your heart tell you?"_

_He saw Anakin again, crouching on the floor. The blood trickled down his cheek. Then he looked up and Anakin and Obi-Wan locked eyes for a moment. _

_"Hold on, Anakin. I'm coming. I'm coming to get you out of there."_

Obi-Wan woke up lying in the middle of a great clearing. Mere moments ago, he had spoken to Qui-Gon and now he found himself... in front of the Great Door again. He sat up and took a look around. The place was not nearly as crowded as last night. A dozen of other people lay there sleeping too. Two women and a young boy were tidying up. Only the ashes of the fire were left. Empty goblets and plates stood everywhere. Petals were stomped into the ground. A few birds were bickering over the leftovers.

All in all, it looked much like a party had taken place last night and the sleeping people had been to drunk to go home. Obi-Wan did not consider for a moment the possibility that everything that had happened last night had been nothing but a drug or alcohol influenced delirious state. He could not explain what had happened but he knew one thing for sure: He must go to Vjun.

And that he did, without wasting any more time. He hurried back to the camp and wrote a message to Kit Fisto, who had said he would come to Senali and fight the war. Then he chose one small spaceship from the fleet. He already dreaded the day when the Masters found out about that but now was not the time to worry about such things as disciplinary punishment.

He set the coordinates to Vjun and prepared the jump to hyperspace.

_Well, all I have to do now is __comb through one planet_, he told his astromech droid.

ooooooo

Mace Windu was deeply impressed. He had seen intimidating great numbers of clones in an army but he had never seen how they grew up before. No, 'grew up' was the wrong word. It should be 'how they were _produced_'. Lama Su, prime minister of Kamino, was showing him around and explaining proudly the cloning factory's many achievements. Seeing all these completely identical looking young men eat in a completely identical way sent strange shivers down Mace's spine. Somehow, the sight filled him with great unease. Again he had to ask himself, _What has become of the Jedi? What has made us do such things like producing humans to fight in the wars for us?_

He knew he would not get answers to such questions. There were other answers he needed to know.

"Do you only clone Fett or have you already cloned other subjects too?" Mace asked politely.

"We have cloned several other subjects too," Lama Su replied. "Our cloning facilities are not limited to only one individual."

"Hm. So it would be possible to clone _anyone_ here?"

"Yes, of course."

"Amazing," Mace complimented him. They walked a few steps in silence. Mace looked down to another maybe two hundred clones who were currently in a sleep induced state. They wore earphones, and electrodes were attached to their foreheads. They were being loaded with information. Mace tore his eyes away from the peculiar sight and asked without further pretence, "Did you clone anyone else recently?"

Lama Su gave him a piercing look. "No, why would we do that? We are busy with cloning the Army for the Republic. Why should we produce other clones?"

He sounded almost defensive. _Curious..._ "I understand, of course."

"Why are you asking?" Lama Su said in an almost accusing tone.

"A friend of mine died. He was human but his corpse rotted much too quickly. My only explanation for that was that he had been a clone."

"I am sorry for your loss," Lama Su said in his usual polite tone. "But I am afraid I cannot help you solve the puzzle of his death. Maybe he had a rare illness? Or another cloning factory produced him?"

"I see. I'm going to check on such illnesses. That seems a likely solution. May I have another look in the training area? I'd like to see how their battle training works."

"Yes, of course. You're welcome to visit this factory. I'm going to send someone to guide you."

"Thank you very much for your offer but, please, I don't want to be any disturbance. I am sure your employees are needed elsewhere."

"Don't worry, General Windu. You as one of the greatest generals certainly should see the whole factory. Please, wait here a moment."

Thoughtfully, Mace watched Lama Su rather quickly leaving the room. The Kaminoan was very obviously hiding something from him. Carefully, Mace checked the room. There were three doors, so he had escape routes. His lightsaber was ready to hand at his belt.

"General Windu."

The Force had not sent him any warning. Slowly and casually, Mace turned around. His hand, however, still hovered over his lightsaber. Another Kaminoan stood in the doorway. She (Mace was sure the Kaminoan was female judging by the bald head) did not radiate immediate danger. Relaxing somewhat, Mace examined the Kaminoan more closely. She was relatively small-built (she could still look easily down at him, though) and seemed somewhat anxious.

"Hello," Mace greeted her politely. "How can I help you?" He hoped she was not the guide Lama Su had promised (or should he rather say: _threatened_) to send.

"Are you looking for Dooku?" she asked directly.

Mace could barely conceal his shock and surprise at that. Deciding to act ignorant, he said, "Why should I look for Dooku? He's dead."

The Kaminoan eyed him out of her cold, grey eyes. "He is not dead. Only his clone is dead."

"So it really was a clone," Mace said softly, letting go of all pretence. "Was the clone produced here?"

"Lama Su was forced to create the clone. He was forced to create that…_defective_, poor excuse of a clone. It's the worst our cloning facilities have ever seen. Dooku threatened to kill Lama Su if he ever told anyone about it."

"Do you mean to say…" Mace gave the Kaminoan a piercing glance. "Did _Dooku_ ask you to clone him?"

"Yes," the Kaminoan answered simply.

"Why would he do that?" Mace asked in confusion. _Why would he want us to think he is dead? What reason was there to fake his own death? Or did he want to use the clone for something else but the clone was killed accidentally?_ His jaw set, Mace slightly shook his head. It had looked anything but an accident. The clone's body had been placed there strategically. _Someone_ had indeed wanted to fake Dooku's death.

"You better ask him," the Kaminoan said curtly. "He is here."

"Indeed," Mace muttered. "Can you lead me there?"

"No," she replied. "He stays is the prime minister's chambers." She pulled an angry face and muttered something about '_typical presumptuous outlanders_'. "But I suppose he is currently in the laboratory."

"I see. Thank you very much for your help."

"You don't know my name, do you?" she asked anxiously.

"Of course I don't know your name," Mace reassured her. "No one ever told me about this. I found out by sheer coincidence."

She nodded grimly and then quickly left. Mace stood there, dumbstruck, and for the first time in his life completely clueless.

No, not completely clueless. Mace might have several faults – his pessimism or his eagerness for fighting – but he was completely and brutally honest with himself. He was not clueless now. Instead, a nagging thought spread through his body like poison. _Dooku threatened to kill Lama Su if he ever told anyone about it_. A Jedi did not need to keep things secret. A Jedi did not threaten to kill people. Something horrible must have happened to Mace's friend, and he really hoped there was a good justification for such actions.

There was no time to lose now. If Mace wanted to find out the truth, he had to act now. Without spending more time on brooding over the ominous circumstances, he went straight to the laboratory. Not bothering to knock, he opened the door quietly.

Naturally, Dooku noticed his presence in an instant. He looked up from whatever he had been poring over. There was a look of surprise and also something like anxiety on his face but he quickly mustered his expression into a mask of perfect Jedi serenity. Quickly striding forwards (Was he trying to hide something behind him on the desk?), he opened his arms wide in a greeting gesture.

"Master Windu. What a pleasant surprise to see you again."

"It is indeed a surprise to see you alive," Mace answered a little more guardedly and a little less amiably. But then again, was Dooku _really_ being amiable? Didn't he act just as guardedly by hiding behind that mask of politeness?

Dooku's lips curved into a tight smile. He did not reply anything, however. (Was he at a loss for words?)

"I found a dead clone of you," Mace said bluntly. There was no need for further hiding games. "Why was there a clone of you? Why are you here? Did you give orders to create that clone of you? What are you planning to do now?"

Dooku raised his hands in defence. "Why, my old friend, that sounds almost like an accusation. Of what are you accusing me? I'm not aware of any guilt."

"Then answer my questions," Mace commanded in a strained voice.

Finally, Dooku let fall the mask of pretence too. The half-smile vanished from his face and was replaced by an almost dangerous glance. "I think you already know the answers."

In a quick movement, Mace moved two steps to the left. Dooku's hand darted to the lightsaber at his belt (a third lightsaber?) as if he expected an attack. Mace, however, did not want to attack. He only wanted to catch a glimpse at the desk which had been obscured from view behind Dooku's back. What he saw made his blood run cold: There were four test tubes on the desk.

They were labelled with '_Anakin Skywalker_'.

They were filled with _blood_.

"What is that?" Mace demanded to know.

"That? Oh." Dooku shrugged as if it was nothing of importance. "If it bothers you…" With a swish of his arm, he sent the test tubes flying to the floor, where they shattered. Horrified, Mace watched the dark red blood slowly flow over the white tiles.

"I was never really interested in him either," Dooku said nonchalantly. "Unlike others, I have never seen the importance in the _Wonder Boy_." His expression hardened. "An impudent little boy who has never really mastered the Jedi way. Ridiculous to place all the Jedi's hopes in someone just because he has a high midi-chlorian count."

"What happened to him, Dooku?" Mace asked in a tense voice. "Is he still alive?"

Dooku's hard expression turned into a sneer. It was so unlike the Jedi Mace had known, that he involuntarily backed away a little bit.

"Still alive? Oh yes, he is _still_ alive yet. If it was my decision, he wouldn't be for very much longer. But, as I said, people seem to be interested in him. People want to have him to increase their power. Yes, isn't it ironic? The _Jedi_ striving for _power_? But I think there are far more worthy candidates. There are abilities which are much more important than midi-chlorians."

"Candidates for _what_?" Mace asked in a low voice. "What did you do to him, Dooku?"

"Oh, still so worried for your _Jedi prodigy_, aren't we?" Dooku sneered. "Rest assured, he will not be tortured much longer. His life will soon be cut short by the hands of my loyal servant."

So Mace's worst fears had come true. He could not believe it. Dooku, the epitome of a Jedi Master, had fallen to the dark side. Dooku, his _friend_, forced him to turn against him.

"Don't you remember that he was your Padawan's Padawan?" Mace said sharply. He desperately hoped mentioning Qui-Gon would somehow miraculously help. After all, it seemed Qui-Gon had been the only one Dooku had ever been close to. "What would Qui-Gon say if you _tortured_ his apprentice?"

A shadow of grief passed over Dooku's face. "I wish he were still alive. I could use his help now."

"Help in _what_?" Mace said incredulously.

"He would understand," Dooku said firmly. "He was never one to simply accept the Council's wishes. He would have seen what has happened to the Jedi Order. The Jedi have lost their focus. They have grown power-hungry. They refuse to see the truth."

"The truth?"

"The truth. The truth that the Senate is currently under the direct influence of a Sith Lord."

The clarity with which Dooku stated this frightened Mace. Concerning _what_ Dooku was saying… well, Mace simply did not believe in even the remotest possibility of that.

"That's impossible," he declared with conviction.

"Is it? Tell me, didn't the Jedi Council grow suspicious when Chancellor Palpatine gained more and more power? Oh, I remember the pathetic _discussions_ about whether to _ask_ the Senate to _ask_ Palpatine to return emergency powers back to them. The time of _discussing_ and _asking_ is over now. We're at _war_. But the Jedi didn't realise it. They're too complacent to even consider that someone could be undermining democracy right under their noses."

It was worse than anything Mace could have ever imagined. It felt like the ground was being pulled away from under his feet. The ground which had been his beliefs, his reasons to fight, his _life_. And things got only worse when Dooku continued.

"You think you have control over things, you think you are so mighty and one of you can single-handedly win a battle. The truth is, you have no control at all. You don't even know why you're fighting, do you? Well, I can tell you why you're fighting: Because it was our plan all along. Because we wanted this war to start. _We_ are the ones in control."

"_You_?" Mace whispered. "Who are you speaking of?"

Dooku gave him a derisive look. "Well, the Jedi may not realise many things but I always expected you to be more intelligent than this. Certainly you know what I'm talking about."

"Why are you telling me this?" Mace asked weakly.

"Because you already knew too much when you entered this room." With that, Dooku's lightsaber sizzled to life. It was a red lightsaber. And it cut straight through Mace Windu's chest.

Mace had not seen it coming at all. Yes, he had understood Dooku had fallen. He had understood Dooku was capable of many things. But somehow he had never thought this could ever happen. Dooku had been his friend, after all. They had fought training duels so many times. Dooku had never attacked without the traditional salute at first. That had been the Dooku Mace had known.

Now, as he lay hunched against the white, cold, sterile wall of the laboratory, he could not recognise the man any longer who stood towering over him.

"I'm sorry, my old friend," Dooku said with just a hint of regret in his cold voice.

Mace's raspy breathing grew more and more erratic. He knew it would be over soon. There was a pounding in his ears. His vision was gradually blurring. So were his thoughts.

_I need to tell someone. I need to warn them. No one knows of this but me. I have to get up, fly back to Coruscant and warn them. Anakin – he's being tortured – they want to turn him – or kill him. The Chosen One – we've lost the Chosen One. We've lost. Everything's over now. We're only puppets in a staged war. The Jedi Order will break. The Sith will rule… the Galaxy will break apart… democracy will be destroyed… The Sith… Dooku… Palpatine… Darkness will fall…_

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, many of you have suspected it all along, haven't you? Nevertheless, what will it do to Obi-Wan when/if he finds out about his (former) Master? And what are Dooku's plans? 


	28. Vjun

**Author's Note: **Hello again. I myself am surprised that I suddenly update this story. I apologise for the long wait and I hope some of you are still interested in reading the ending. (There are still many chapters to come until the end, and I'm afraid I can't promise regular updates...)

Many thanks to my reviewers: pronker, Soul of a Young Man, Jedi Knight 13, Rya Likao, realdarkangel, Sentrosi, Geri K, Doggie3388, Nika Dawson, little-leah, lauthom, denique.

Some of you expressed that you felt that no one cared for Obi-Wan, not even Anakin because he doesn't even think about Obi-Wan during his imprisonment. You are so right there. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I've added a few lines to the last chapter now because I want Anakin to care for him. Only a few lines, you don't have to reread the chapter because of it, just keep in mind that Anakin doesn't feel completely indifferent about Obi-Wan.

Also, there seemed to be a bit of confusion concerning the ending of the last chapter. I'm sorry to say that Mace Windu is indeed dead, killed by Dooku.

The idea, a few descriptions and a bit of the dialogue in this chapter is taken from the Clone Wars novel "Yoda - Dark Rendezvous."

* * *

**Chapter 28**

**Vjun**

Obi-Wan quietly sneaked through another gloomy tunnel. The many thick stalactites were bathed in the cold blue light of his lightsaber, which was the only source of light. He was somewhere in the labyrinth of tunnels under Chateaux Malreaux. He had already checked two other castles on Vjun – but neither Anakin nor Ventress had been there. The whole planet was deserted; the population had died due to excessive midi-chlorians experiments of one maniac a few years ago. To Obi-Wan, the whole planet looked like death and smelled like death.

Suddenly, the blue shine of his lightsaber reached a human skull lying in a corner. Obi-Wan paused and lowered his lightsaber. He had been in this tunnel before. He was absolutely sure because he remembered this skull.

Sighing inwardly, he slowly turned around and examined his surroundings thoroughly. He must have walked in a circle. It was frustrating. How was he ever going to find the right way in this underground labyrinth? Once more, he tried to reach for the Force and again he was overwhelmed by the sheer power of the Force here. At first, he had thought it was good that this planet was so strong with the Force. When it had filled him like this, he had felt a deep confidence. But now he was not so sure anymore if it was such a good thing.

The Force gave him more strength, yes, but he could not feel the little things anymore. It felt like information overload to his overwhelmed senses so that he could not focus on the details.

_Okay. I mustn't get distracted. _Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber and instead used the Force to feel his way along. _Tell me where you want me to go and I will follow your will. _Whereas normally he always could understand what the Force wanted him to do (being able to follow its will was a completely different matter altogether…), here it seemed the only thing the Force wanted him to do was use its power.

_Very well then, I'll just keep walking. Standing here certainly won't help_. Although it was completely dark, Obi-Wan closed his eyes in order to be fully able to rely on nothing but the Force. Your eyes could deceive you. The Force could not. Slowly, he walked forward. He just must not turn left or right because then he might be in danger of going around in a circuit again. But if the Force guided you, it was difficult to tell whether you were walking forward or turning off. Obi-Wan was sure that right now he would not even have noticed if he walked backwards.

As it usually happens when you close your eyes, you get curious at a certain point and you want to check – just briefly – if you're still where you are supposed to be. It was not any different with Obi-Wan. When he opened his eyes, he could assess that he had, indeed, arrived in a cave which he had not passed before. He could tell from the huge amount of skulls piled neatly over each other. Oddly, it was not completely dark here but there was a very faint blue shimmer – although he had not activated his lightsaber.

_Where does it come from?_ He looked around but it seemed like the light was moving with him, always illuminating the skull or the stalactite he was looking at. It was almost as if the light came from himself… _Oh_. Obi-Wan's gaze wandered to the ring on his finger, the ring his Master had given him for his thirteenth birthday.

_This ring has special powers. It reacts to dark Force energies. It shines blue as a warning_.

Obi-Wan nodded slowly to himself. This was his solution. Ventress certainly radiated dark Force energies. Obi-Wan could not help but grin a bit at the irony of the situation. Master Dooku certainly had not given him the ring so he would run _towards_ the danger… _No, he gave it to me so I would learn to defeat the darkness within myself_. Well, whatever the ring was meant to be originally for, it could help Obi-Wan now. He just had to go where the ring shone the brightest shade of blue.

_Easy_, he thought in satisfaction.

He had been a bit wrong there. Although the trick with the ring worked perfectly (every time he went into the wrong direction – away from Ventress – the blue glow in the black gemstone would flicker, and he knew he had to turn back and take the other route), he unexpectedly was met with another obstacle: namely three droids. _Assassin _droids.

Obi-Wan grimaced. _Not good_. His hand automatically moved towards the lightsaber at his belt – but too late. The first assassin droid had already fired a blaster shot straight at his chest. It was oddly surreal. _I'm going to die_, Obi-Wan thought in surprise.

But nothing of the sort happened. Actually, he had no idea what was happening at all. The lightsaber was in his hand without him realising he had seized it. And it was deflecting the blaster shots of the three assassin droids. Obi-Wan's arms and legs moved of their own accord. He did not have to think at all. Normally, his Jedi abilities enabled him to see things before they happened. Now, however, his muscles acted before he saw the things that would happen. Obi-Wan could just think one thing: _Wow._

He wondered if this was what the Force felt like to Anakin all the time. As if you were floating above things, your feet hardly touching the ground. Obi-Wan parried the blaster fire with ease. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. The normally complicated lightsaber movements were just as natural as walking, sleeping or speaking. His blue lightsaber was moving so fast that it was blurring in front of his eyes. It was a mystery to him why it was in all the right places at the right time nonetheless.

It was also a mystery to him why he did not bump his head into any of the stalactites or why he did not stumble over any of the stones or skulls on the floor. In one swift movement, he deflected one blaster shot, ducked under the arm of the second droid and cut the long blaster rifle of the third droid in halves. Spinning around, he chopped the droid behind him to pieces: one arm, then the head, then the other arm. He jumped back and used the Force to slam the dismembered torso into the next attacking droid. It stumbled backward and, with a loud crash, the metal torso landed on top of it. While the droid freed itself from the remains of its colleague, Obi-Wan made short shrift of the third assassin droid. It was not hard work as this droid's rifle had already been cut and it now had to use a ridiculous substitute blaster.

Obi-Wan sneered slightly. Really, what could such a pathetic blaster do against the power of his lightsaber _and_ the Force?! In a millisecond, the droid's parts joined the heap of junk on the floor to bury the droid that had just managed to scramble out from under the other droid's remnants. Shaking his head in pity for the last droid's fruitless attempts, Obi-Wan effortlessly decapitated him. Easy. A quick and clean cut. Done.

Obi-Wan clipped his lightsaber at his belt again and resumed his walk, relying on the ring's blue glow, as if nothing had happened. _Too bad you didn't see that, Master Dooku_, he thought. _I guess even you would have been satisfied with my lightsaber work._

Meanwhile, the tunnel was slightly leading upwards. He must be there soon. The ring's blue shone brighter and brighter.

And then he arrived at a locked door.

But, as everyone knows, locked doors cannot stop a Jedi (well, as long as the Jedi has their lightsaber with them, anyway).

Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber, which matched the colour of the ring's stone now. But before he could slice a hole into the door, the door was opened.

"Now, put that down, will you? We don't want anyone to get hurt."

Obi-Wan recognised her at once: a bald woman with stripes painted on her skull and lips the colour of fresh blood. Ventress was smiling.

"Where is he?" Obi-Wan said through clenched teeth, not lowering his lightsaber a millimetre, of course.

Ventress's blood-red lips curled even more. "Come in," she said pleasantly and stepped aside to let him pass.

Suspiciously, Obi-Wan moved into the room. It was a large room, richly furnished but old and dusty looking. Roses and thorns were carved in the wall. The deep, soft rug muffled Obi-Wan's footsteps. He looked down to find it spattered with blood.

"We've been expecting you," Ventress said softly behind him, causing Obi-Wan to startle.

His lightsaber still clutched firmly in his hand, he turned around to look at her. He was not sure if he should attack her now or try to find another way to free Anakin. She was still smiling, and then she moved aside so Obi-Wan could see the person who lay crumpled against the wall.

The lightsaber in Obi-Wan's hand shook slightly when he saw how thin and pale Anakin looked. His cheeks were hollow and his eyes were underlined with dark, heavy bags. Eyes that looked haunted. His hair was unwashed and dirty – as was his whole appearance. Splotches of dark, dried blood covered his torn clothes. His hands were tied behind his back.

Without realising what he was doing, Obi-Wan rushed towards him – but Ventress was faster. Before Obi-Wan had made even one step, she was kneeling down next to Anakin, one hand grabbing his hair roughly and pulling his head to the side, the other hand trailing a vibro-knife down his cheek so it left a thin, red line there. Finally, the knife came to rest at his throat. Obi-Wan stopped dead in his movements.

"Now, first thing you do is switch your lightsaber off. I'm sure you understand," Ventress said in a sweet, cold voice.

Frozen to the spot, Obi-Wan did as he was told. There was an eerie silence once the humming of his lightsaber had died down. All you could hear was the dull ticking of an ancient chrono.

"Very well," Ventress said and loosened her grip on Anakin's hair somewhat. "Now let's talk a bit. I have a few questions for you. For a start, why have you come here? I was sure you would show up but my Master doubted it."

"Do you really need an answer to that?" Obi-Wan said through gritted teeth.

She nodded in self-satisfaction. "I like to hear that." She nodded again. "I know what you want, Obi-Wan."

"Glad we sorted that out," Obi-Wan retorted. "Can you just let me free him then?"

"Free him?" she said softly. "No, that's not what you want. You want to free _yourself_."

"Oh really. And what is that supposed to mean?"

"You are fighting me so much," Ventress murmured. "As if I'm trying to hurt you: when all I want is to set you free. What you want, you can _have_. What you desire, you can _take_. He can be yours."

Obi-Wan froze. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've seen the way you look at him. There are things you want – why not take them?"

Obi-Wan shook his head as if to clear it from her seducing voice. "This is ridiculous," he said firmly. "I've come here to free him and I will do it now."

"Do it, then," Ventress said simply and stepped aside.

Obi-Wan could not believe it. This had to be a trap. He warily watched Ventress and took one hesitant step forward.

"You're hesitating," she said softly. "You know what it means, don't you? You'll lose it all over again. The freedom you have just gained. Tell me, didn't you enjoy fighting the assassin droids? It could always feel like that if you would just _allow_ it."

Obi-Wan's breath caught in his throat. How did she know? How did she know so much about him?

"Why are you not a Knight yet, Obi-Wan?" she asked, never giving him the time to get rid of her voice in his head. "Or a Master? Shouldn't someone with your abilities have been knighted long before?"

"That is not my decision," Obi-Wan replied stiffly.

"Then _make_ it your decision. You can do it, I know you can." She sighed to herself. "It must be frustrating to be a useless appendage, to follow other people around – but only if it isn't something important. To be _his_ appendage – but only as long as he needs you and as long as there's no one better around."

Obi-Wan could feel the blood rushing in his ears. Images flooded his mind: Anakin, kissing him needily after a disastrous day, leaning into Obi-Wan's shoulder to cry… but never replying to the three words Obi-Wan kept telling him so often.

"Why do you let them do this to you? Why do you allow them to _use_ you?"

"No one _uses_ me," Obi-Wan argued weakly. "It was always my decision."

"Yes, I believe it was… But I don't understand. Why did you make that decision? Why do you give them everything you have? What have they ever given to you? They don't deserve your duty. They don't deserve your trust. They don't deserve your _love._"

"How would _you_ know?" Obi-Wan whispered.

"I can feel it, Obi-Wan. I can feel your deepest desires. Yes, it is there. You cannot deny it. And why should you? Why should you deny your _feelings_? I think that deep down in your heart you know the Jedi way is a lie. Do you _want_ not to feel?" She moved closer towards him, elegantly, like a dangerous Reekcat. "Our time here is so short, so precious, so sweet," she breathed. "To turn your back on it, to crawl into your monastery and teach yourself not to feel. What a waste. What a… _blasphemy_."

Obi-Wan pressed his eyes shut. _How did she know?!_ He had known for a long time he had such desires in him but so far he had tried to fight them back. But was it really right to fight them back? Wasn't it natural to love? Wasn't denying love denying everything that mattered?

"You can have what you want," Ventress repeated. "You can take it. _Kiss him_."

Slowly, Obi-Wan opened his eyes again. His gaze wandered back from Ventress's smiling face to Anakin, who slouched wearily against the wall. He looked so helpless, so defenceless… so weak… so _vulnerable_.

_He called Qui-Gon for help. He did not call for me. Never for me. __He only made love to me because it distracted him from the pain of missing Qui-Gon. No, we never made love. We only had sex. I'm only a toy to him. _His sweaty hand gripped the lightsaber handle more forcefully. _This isn't right. I said I could live with it. I never expected more from him. I was okay with it. _

"Kiss him," Ventress said again. "Why do you hesitate? Don't you think it's your right now? After all you've done?"

A trickle of scarlet red blood ran down the side of Anakin's face from the cut where Ventress had sliced his flesh. The blood slowly slid down until it reached the corner of his lips. Obi-Wan's gaze rested on Anakin's lips, transfixed by the deep red of the blood which was such a perfect contrast to the pale, almost white skin. It looked beautiful. It looked _perfect_. What would it feel like to kiss Anakin and taste the blood on his lips? Wasn't it his right to do it? Ventress was right, after all he had done for Anakin he had the right for this one kiss now, hadn't he? He had been there for Anakin all the time, had given himself willingly to Anakin although Anakin had never returned his feelings. He had gone looking for him, had gone through all this torment for him although Anakin had never even called for his help.

_He can be yours._

It was tempting. To have the same power over Anakin he had had over the assassin droids… To feel this freedom… To have power over the _Chosen One_… To be, for once in his life, the one at whose mercy people were…. He was so sick of always being in Anakin's shadow… _Master_ Skywalker… They would see how wrong they had been to underestimate him…

_Padawan Kenobi, stay where you are. Don't do anything. There's no use fighting the Separatist Army back. __Senali is lost to us._

_He's not ready at all. He's impatient, defiant and angry. He still has much to learn. __He absolutely needs someone to guide him. _

Yet here he was: He had managed to find out where Anakin was held captive, he had found this place, had single-handedly fought three assassin droids… He had felt it: The Force was strong in him. But they did not see that. They refused to see anything good in him. They were only interested in their _Chosen One_.

_Why do you give them everything you have? What have they ever given to you?_

Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Anakin had never given him the three words, never. Obi-Wan could feel his anger rising. What was so difficult about saying those three words? Why did Anakin deny him that little bit?

_What you want, you can __**have**__. What you desire, you can __**take**__. He can be yours_.

Anakin had not been ready to give him what he wanted. Now Obi-Wan would take what was rightfully his. And no one could stop him.

Obi-Wan slowly moved forward and knelt down in front of Anakin. Staring at Anakin's bloodstained lips, he unconsciously licked his own lips. Very slowly, he lifted one hand to gently trace the trail of blood running down Anakin's cheek.

"_Kiss him_."


	29. The Taste of the Dark Side

**Author's Note:** Hello again and sorry for the lack of updates. I'd like to thank everyone who is still reading this - and especially those who reviewed the last chapter. And of course thanks to Sentrosi, my beta reader.

I've reposted the final sentences of the last chapter so that you'll remember what happened before. (Even I got a bit confused by my story because I had completely forgotten what I had planned for Dooku. Fortunately, I finally found the notebook again where I had written down a detailed plotline for the story.)

* * *

_What you want, you can __**have**__. What you desire, you can __**take**__. He can be yours_.

Anakin had not been ready to give him what he wanted. Now Obi-Wan would take what was rightfully his. And no one could stop him.

Obi-Wan slowly moved forward and knelt down in front of Anakin. Staring at Anakin's bloodstained lips, he unconsciously licked his own lips. Very slowly, he lifted one hand to gently trace the trail of blood running down Anakin's cheek.

"_Kiss him_."

**Chapter 29**

**The Taste of the Dark Side**

In a trance, Obi-Wan's fingers slid down Anakin's cheek until they rested at the corner of his mouth. Unexpectedly, Anakin opened his mouth. Surprised by the sudden movement, Obi-Wan tore his gaze from the blood-red lips and looked Anakin in the eye. The eyes were glazed and the eyelids fluttered as if Anakin could hardly keep them open.

"I…I'm so glad…you've come," Anakin croaked in a very quiet, very hoarse, very weak voice. It sounded like he had not spoken for a very long time. Or like his voice had become raw and exhausted from screaming so much in pain.

Obi-Wan blinked and his gaze rested on Anakin's lips again, where his fingers were placed – and where his ring shone the brightest shade of blue.

_Master, why is it shining blue now? - That's the dark side in you. You must know, Padawan, that every being has a dark side in themselves. Everyone, even Master Yoda, has darkness in their soul. But the important thing is to control the darkness, to defeat the darkness within you. That is what you must learn. Only then can you become a Jedi._

The dark side. It was the dark side that was taking control of him. He had let it do it, he had _welcomed _it. Horrified, Obi-Wan stared at the radiating gemstone.

_Promise me it will be a selfless love_.

He had broken the promise he had given to Qui-Gon … to himself … and to Anakin. He had told Anakin he did not ask for anything in return. But his love was not selfless. He would have exploited this situation … Anakin, who was so weak and had been _tortured_ for days … Obi-Wan would have done it, he would have – He gulped, feeling disgusted with himself.

_I am very disappointed at your behaviour_, he heard the distant echo of his Master's voice from so many years ago_. I thought better of you but obviously I was thoroughly mistaken. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are a disgrace to the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan Kenobi._

Horror-struck, Obi-Wan stared at the blue shining ring at his hand, which hovered still over Anakin's cheek. There was blood on his fingers. He had touched it: the dark side. He was tainted.

How could he have ever even considered doing it? He _loved_ Anakin – how could he have -?! _What have I done?!_ _I'm sorry, Anakin, I'm so sorry. _Anakin had trusted him. He had not doubted for a moment that Obi-Wan could fall. _I'm so glad you've come_. And what had Obi-Wan done? He had just selfishly thought of nothing but himself. He could not believe he had done that. They had all been so wrong to trust him: Anakin and Qui-Gon …

Pulling himself together, Obi-Wan fought down the feelings of despair and shame. Now was not the time to wonder what he had done and why he had done it. He had come here for a purpose: saving Anakin. He had to act now. Ventress was still watching him intently. She still seemed to be convinced Obi-Wan would do as she had told him.

_Well, I'm going to play along with your game just a little longer_. Pretending to be still under her influence, he leant further towards Anakin. But Obi-Wan did not kiss him, but instead carefully wrapped his arms around Anakin's thin frame. His whole body seemed to be reduced to bones.

"Don't be afraid," Obi-Wan breathed, his mouth close to Anakin's ear.

Anakin smelled horrible: a mixture of blood, sweat, urine and vomit. But Obi-Wan could not bring himself to care. He just held him close and pressed his own eyes tightly shut, willing the tears back. _I'm sorry, so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry …_

Obi-Wan's hands slowly slid down until he reached Anakin's hands, which were tightly shackled. In one swift movement, he activated his lightsaber, cut through the shackles, jumped up, spun around and met Ventress's red blade with his own blue blade. Ventress had reacted quickly when she had noticed his intentions.

Unfortunately, she had a second lightsaber, and she was very good at wielding two lightsabers at the same time. Obi-Wan felt like he was fighting against two opponents. Two _very powerful_ opponents. It was not like fighting against the assassin droids at all. Oh, sure, he still could use all the power of the Force of this place, but the difference was that Ventress could, as well. She was not a droid, after all, but a Force-sensitive being. And she was a Master at using the _dark side_ of the Force. Obi-Wan was not.

What had Yoda told him, all those years ago after his fight against the Sith on Naboo? - _Yes, yes, dark side there is in you. But not enough dark side to defeat a Sith_. Frowning with the effort, Obi-Wan parried another one of Ventress's vicious onslaughts. _Brilliant. So I have dark side traits in me but then it doesn't even help me …_ He was helpless against the series of wild blows Ventress rained down on him.

He felt stronger than ever with the Force as his ally, the Force which was so strong in this place. Never before in his life had he fought so well. His stabs were precise and quick, his movements swift and graceful. He fought the hardest he was capable of, but there was one problem: It was not enough. He could not deny it: Ventress. Was. Simply. Better.

Although that observation was not very encouraging, he did not consider giving up for even a single moment. He knew he could not win – but giving up was not an option. He would rather fight until he tripped over his own feet in exhaustion and had to crawl at her feet.

Once again, the blue and one of the red lightsabers met in a clash of hot energy. Obi-Wan quickly wanted to pull his lightsaber back to be ready to defend himself against the other lightsaber but Ventress locked their lightsabers over their heads. She brandished her other lightsaber – and Obi-Wan almost lost his feet. He could jump up at the last possible moment. That, however, meant he lost his balance as Ventress still pushed her lightsaber hard against his blade. He dropped down and did a backward role to land on his feet again.

Ventress was already there, waiting for him. He had no time to recover his breath when she aimed her next stabs at his chest, with both lightsabers. He drew up his own lightsaber and pulled up both of her lightsabers. Taking his chance, he kicked her hard in the stomach. She stumbled slightly backward and Obi-Wan used this little moment of her insecurity and somersaulted backward to take cover from her behind the huge, old-fashioned couch.

He gasped for breath, forcing air into his lungs. He could not remember ever having fought such a fierce battle. And Ventress fought in the same style he used. Where had she learned it?!

Ventress came back towards him and paused at the other side of the couch. Their lightsabers were close enough to clash but they were not close enough to injure the other. _Come on, jump over_, Obi-Wan tried to provoke her by dancing out of her reach again and again. _Just jump over and I'm going to chop off both of your legs. _Unfortunately, Ventress was not that reckless and stupid. Impatient because she could not finish her victim off, she growled softly in her throat.

"We cannot play cat and mouse forever," she snarled. "Come on, you're not that cowardly, are you?"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. It was so obvious what she was trying to do. "You know, Ventress, it might work once but it won't work again on me."

But eventually it was Ventress who made the first move. She darted around the couch – straight in the direction of Anakin. Obi-Wan jumped in her way and blocked her vicious onslaught once more. The muscles in his arms already started protesting against the excessive use. How, in the galaxy, was he ever going to come out of this alive? Frantically, he looked around to see Anakin still crouching motionlessly on the floor. His eyes were unfocussed; he hardly seemed to notice what was going on around him. _What good is there in me fighting to the death if he doesn't even take his chance to escape?_ Obi-Wan thought in exasperation.

Strangely enough, Ventress chose that moment for an incredibly insensible move: She leapt up and somersaulted over Obi-Wan. No doubt in order to land behind his back and attack him from there. It confused him greatly because so far she had fought in the same style he used, so she should have known how easy it was to disarm an opponent if they somersaulted over you. But now was not the time to wonder about her unexpected stunt. Obi-Wan lazily twisted his right wrist and, with a little flick of his lightsaber, he had one of her lightsabers clatter against the wall at the other side of the room.

It was a short-lived triumph. One lightsaber less did not mean Ventress was less dangerous, as Obi-Wan painfully had to realise when she trailed the deadly weapon down his unguarded left side. He groaned in agony at the feeling of it burning his skin. Next second, the lightsaber also swished over his knees. They were not lethal wounds, but it was bad enough to make his knees buckle and to cause him to fall to his knees in pain. He tried to hold on to his lightsaber handle. It was the only thing that seemed to be able to separate him from certain death. He knew that if he let go of his lightsaber … But the pain clouded his mind, everything got fuzzy and the deep rug was so soft… And in the end, the lightsaber fell out of his weak fingers. All he could see was a red blur coming towards him.

But it never hit him. There was even more red now, which did not make sense at all. Then the red blur moved farther away from him. Obi-Wan used all his efforts to extend his hand towards his fallen lightsaber. When his fingers curled around the cool metal, his senses cleared a bit. After blinking a few times, he identified the red blur as a second lightsaber, which was wielded by Anakin. He must have somehow got hold of the one which Ventress had lost earlier.

Anakin was fighting a losing battle. He was barely able to stand on his wobbly legs. Ventress was ruthlessly driving him into a corner because he could not counter her vigorous strikes. All he did was ducking to avoid her blows. Obi-Wan knew he had to do something. But how – when every movement of his made pain shot like a blaster shot through him and threatened to knock him out again? He tried to exert all the Jedi relaxing techniques to control your body and the Jedi self healing powers. He finally managed to rise into a kneeling position (oh, how they burnt, his knees!) It was not much yet, but it was a start. Painstakingly slowly, he crawled towards the wall, to which he clung while trying to get up. He ignored the duel between Ventress and Anakin. There was only so much his dizzy mind could focus on and getting up on his feet was a task difficult enough right now.

His raspy intakes of air hurt in his lungs when he leant back against the wall to struggle for breath. He lifted one shaking arm to call his lightsaber into his hand. In a normal situation, it would not have worked but here on Vjun, this planet on which the Force was so strong, his weapon soared into his hand effortlessly. He took a deep breath and then staggered forwards to join the fight.

_We make a fine pair_, Obi-Wan thought when he and Anakin almost collided due to their clumsy movements. _Both of us are busier with not collapsing than with actually attacking her_.

Ventress obviously thought along the same lines when she taunted, "You two wouldn't even win against a protocol droid like this."

Neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan had the energy to come up with a witty retort. They had forgotten everything about lightsaber techniques and the different styles. All they did was holding their lightsabers up to stop Ventress from slicing them to pieces. She seemed to be enjoying it, teasing them, like a cat playing with a womp rat before finally eating it.

And then the inevitable happened. Ventress aimed a hard kick at Obi-Wan's legs, he staggered backwards, stumbled over something on the floor and landed hard on his bottom. Swaggering wildly, he scrambled into a standing position again but too late. Ventress had locked lightsabers with Anakin, grabbed his arm with her free hand, pulled her lightsaber down and then up again – and cut straight through Anakin's arm with a quick slash. Howling with agony, Anakin collapsed to the floor. Her lightsaber raised, Ventress advanced on him, snarling in triumph.

It was sheer desperation that gave Obi-Wan the strength to lunge forward. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was coincidence. Or maybe it was just sheer luck - or simply the will of the Force. When Obi-Wan flung his lightsaber towards Ventress, it pierced right through her back and chest.

She was killed instantly.

There was the sickening _thud_ when her lifeless body hit the soft rug. The discarded lightsaber went off with a little hiss. Obi-Wan gasped loudly, then his knees gave away and he staggered down. And then there was only the dull ticking of the ancient chrono. It went on and on, monotonous, uncaring, never affected by the things that had just occurred here.

Recollecting his last energies, Obi-Wan crawled to Anakin's side, trying - in vain - to ignore the arm stump that just lay there, severed from the rest of the body.

"She's dead," Obi-Wan croaked. "You're safe now. Everything ... everything will be alright."

Anakin's eyes focussed for a short moment. His voice was slurred, delirious from the pain. "Cody and -- and other clones ... are still here ... imprisoned ... gotta free them." And with that, he passed out.

"Okay," Obi-Wan promised, "I'll do it." He surprised himself by simply standing up and starting to walk forwards. With the confidence of a sleepwalker, he reached the cells and opened them, letting several clone soldiers out. He did not hear what they said to him. He heard just the rushing in his ears that got louder and louder.

Ironically, it was the clones that had to support the two broken Jedi on their way back to the spaceship that would bring them back to Senali.

xxxxx

It was night at Senali. The two moons illuminated the ink blue, almost violet night sky. Everything was quite but the constant rush of waves rolling on the shore.

Master Dooku, now also known as Darth Tyranus, approached the camp of the clone soldiers. He felt a strong tug of impatience, something he had seldom experienced before in his former life as a Jedi Master.

It was time. Finally.

Confidently, he strode towards the first row of identical tents - only to be stopped by one of those useless clones.

"Sir, state your name and your purpose. This is a camp of the Grand Army of the Republic. You are not allowed to enter it without explicit permission."

Dooku eyed the ... _creature_ with distaste. They were just so hopeless and all too common. Really, just producing living beings – how _uncivilised_. Dooku lazily waved his right hand, adding just a tiny hint of Force suggestion to his voice: "You will let me pass. No further questions." Naturally, the weak-minded clone let him pass. _How pathetic_, Dooku thought contemptuously.

He knew where he had to go. The tents of the Jedi generals or commanders were always more luxurious. If you could call life in a tent on the battlefield 'luxurious'. There it was: Taller than the clones' tents, considerably bigger and a decent distance away. Dooku entered it without announcing his presence – to find the tent empty.

Growing more impatient with the minute, he searched through the tent in the hope of finding any indication as to the whereabouts of his apprentice. He needed him now. Needed him to overthrow his Master (because Dooku was not an apprentice, was not someone to obey) and then establish a new Sith rule. He discovered the comm station and saw that a message had been left there. He activated the hologram. There was his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Dooku frowned. Why was his hair so long? It was not the proper Padawan haircut ...

"Master Fisto," the hologram-Obi-Wan said, "I have gone to the planet Vjun to look for Master Skywalker there. I have proof that he is still alive and held captive there by Asajj Ventress. I am fully aware that I disobey a direct order by the Council and I apologise. But seeing that there is nothing left for me to do here on Senali and that I am the one closest to Vjun, I had no other choice but to go there. If you're listening to this message, it means I'm not back yet, which means I've probably not been successful. So now I may be dead or may be being held captive. I would appreciate it if you or someone else came to Vjun to rescue Master Skywalker and, if I'm still alive, me, too. May the Force be with you."

If Dooku had not been so angry and perplexed, he would have maybe been amused by his Padawan's odd logic. But he _was_ angry. And perplexed. He could not believe that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the boy he had trained, one of the most respectful and modest Padawans, would disobey a direct Council order in full awareness of it. A part of Dooku was proud of his Padawan. He thoroughly despised people who blindly followed orders without thinking for themselves. Standing up against the Jedi Council – that certainly required a backbone. _But_ why had he not done it earlier? Darth Sidious had informed Dooku that Obi-Wan thought he was still alive. Then why had Obi_-_Wan not disregarded the Council's orders in order to go looking for Dooku? Of course, it was something different if the _Chosen One_ was missing. Then orders and rules did not matter anymore. Everything for the _Wonder Boy_. It was pitiful. The Jedi were so fixated on their _Chosen One_ that they had forgotten their principles. And obviously, so had Obi-Wan.

What annoyed Dooku most was that Darth Sidious had known it. All along, the Sith Master had been convinced Obi-Wan would come looking for Skywalker. Dooku had been so sure he would _not_. He had thought he could rely on Obi-Wan's sense of duty but he had been disappointed. All the efforts he had invested in the boy's training – for nothing.

In a way, it was all Qui-Gon's fault. If he had not practically forced Dooku to train Obi-Wan ... it would not have been such a severe disappointment now to realise that he stood alone. It had never bothered him before. But now it did.

"Sir?"

Dooku's temper rose. Not a clone _again._

"Sir, this is Commander Karan. It is my duty to check your identity and confirm if you are allowed to be here."

"Why should I not be allowed to be here?" Dooku snarled.

"Sir, this is General Skywalker's tent. Only someone with an explicit permission --"

Commander Karan never came to finish his sentence before his head fell to the ground.


End file.
